Runaway
by ScarlettMae
Summary: *TFA SPOILERS!* Nara knew Kylo Ren before he turned over to the dark side. Working for the Resistance, she comes face to face with him once again. How will he respond to seeing her again? Will he remember anything about the man he used to be? OCxKylo Ren
1. Chapter I

_***WARNING: THE FORCE AWAKENS SPOILERS***_

* * *

The control room of the Resistance never failed to take Nara's breath away. The large circular space was filled with humans, creatures, and droids as they tried win the war against the New Republic. It had been this way for a while now.

Nara exhaled slowly as she headed over to her post. In the back of the room she spotted General Leia. Her head was bowed low as she talked to her advisors. It was strange to see the princess in that role, but it suited her better than anyone. If anyone was going to make this work it was Leia.

"Oops," Nara exclaimed when she felt something bumping into her. She had been too transfixed with Leia's presence to notice she had walked into C3PO. "My apologies."

"Oh, good morning, Nara," the droid replied.

"How is R2?"

C3PO's head hung low. "He is still the same I fear. I doubt he will ever be the same."

A soft assuring smile appeared on Nara's lips. "Have faith, 3PO. He will come back, I promise."

The droid continued his way as she slipped on her metal chair behind her computer. There had not been much activity over night she noted after she booted it up. It provided her with a summary of everything she had missed. It was a moment she always dreaded. She didn't want to see what had happened while she had slept. She didn't want to see what _he_ had done.

Her daily activities included keeping a close watch on any abnormalities in the systems. Any X-Wings that were entering airspace they shouldn't be in, disturbances in the atmosphere, anything that might point out to an attack by the New Republic.

Today was different. She had been assigned to check up on Poe Dameron. Whenever one of their pilots was out on a mission that was considered to be either dangerous, classified, or both, someone had to keep a close watch on them at all times. The information Poe would be receiving could threaten the existence of everyone.

At the beginning of the Resistance, Leia had personally asked Nara to join her at the headquarters, ensuring her she was in need of her talents. Nara herself had always doubted that was the truth. She figured Leia wanted to keep her close after what had happened when he turned over.

Nara turned her chair to another screen, monitoring Poe closely. She scanned the information about his vitals. His heartbeat was at a steady pace and his blood pressure seemed to be just right. Her eyes switched to the map which followed his every move. They were not going to loose the best pilot they had on a mission.

She leaned back in her chair, her eyes still closely following everything that was happening. Occasionally she looked past the screen towards all the other Resistance fightser. Leia liked to call them all fighters, even though the majority of them hadn't had any experience in combat. It made them all feel like they mattered. They all helped the cause in their own personal way.

Shaking her head she snapped out of her day dream. Her eyes found his vitals again and her heart skipped a beat when she saw what had happened. In the moment she had lost concentration his heart rate had gone up, a lot. Perspiration levels were increasing. Something was going on. Poe was the best pilot and the most calm fighter they had. Any changes in his vitals were abnormal.

His position hadn't changed. Nara focussed on a single dot standing still. Why wasn't he moving? What was going on?

And then suddenly it began to move, and fast. He wasn't far from his X-Wing, but whatever was happening, Nara had a feeling he needed to be fast.

"General Leia!" Nara yelled as she swiveled around in her chair, immediately turning back when she saw that the General had caught her attention.

"What is it?" Leia spoke as she hurried over. More started to follow and join her by her side.

"It's Poe," Nara replied. "Something is happening. His vitals changed and he is moving fast."

Leia nodded calmly. She ordered someone else to get up any live feed from Jakku on the big screen, but the feed turned out to be pitch black.

"Do you think it is him?" Nara asked carefully, not daring to look at Leia.

She felt her hand on her shoulder, gripping it in a soft and reassuring manner.

"I think so."

As the scene developed the entire control room turned its attention to figuring out whatever was happening. Nara's heart had sunk when she had heard Leia's words. This was her worst nightmare. This was everything she was dreading.

The control room was quiet as events unfolded. Even though they could not directly see what was happening it was not hard to imagine. Nara could only hope innocent lives would be spared, but if she was to believe anything about him that would not be the case.

"We lost the X-Wing," someone stated.

Nara looked down on her own screen and saw that indeed the X-Wing had been destroyed. The little dot indicating its position had disappeared and the statistics of it all read _ERROR_.

She bent down and ran her fingers through her hair before burying her face in her hands. This was not how she expected the day to go. While they were constantly fighting with the First Order, every attack seemed to get worse. More lives lost and every attack came closer to the New Republic winning this war.

Her mind wandered to her parents. Nara wondered if they would be proud of her sitting here, helping the cause, doing her best to ensure she was doing everything humanly possible. They had cared a great deal for the Resistance. Yet would they be disappointed with her? She trusted him. She fell in love with him. And then he had left her. Was she a fool not to see it coming?

Poe began to move again. The dot darted across the map on the screen. It was clear he was trying to escape and it became clear he was failing. His speed seemed to lower, as if he had been caught. Nara's suspicions were confirmed when she saw his dot came to a halt. Suddenly his vitals began to change, indicating he had been boarding a ship. He was aboard the Star Destroyer. Kylo Ren had him.

The control room became eerily silent. Even all the droids failed to make any noise. Nara turned her eyes to Leia, awaiting new orders. Poe was their best pilot, and he held important information. He would be tortured mentally and physically. The First Order needed whatever was engrained in his mind as desperately as the Resistance.

"We can do nothing but wait," Leia finally spoke after some hesitation.

"What about the droid?" Nara asked. Her eyes darted over her screen. BB-8, Poe's companion, was nowhere to be found.

"I cannot send pilots to retrieve an expendable droid."

Nara knew how fond Poe was of the little droid, yet at the same time she also knew Leia was right. Going back to Jakku would be a suicide mission. No doubt some Stormtroopers had been left behind to enforce the peace.

The Resistance tried to go to work as best as they could, but everyone's heart was heavy for Poe. He was loved and admired by all the fighters. No one wanted to see him suffer, especially not at the hands of Kylo Ren.

"Nara," Leia spoke, appearing behind her. Her eyes had never left Poe's dot, keeping a close track on his vitals. Any sign of torture would show up.

It took the general a second time before Nara heard her. She turned her head, raising her eyebrows lightly, almost scared of letting the screen get out of her sight.

"It's time to go."

Nara shook her head. "I'm just gonna stay here for a little while."

Leia tried to smile softly yet her eyes didn't lie. "Come on. You need to eat something."

"No, really. Someone's gotta keep track of Poe. I'll be happy to do it."

"You're always like this when he does something like this," Leia spoke.

"Like what?"

Leia took a step forward and placed her hand on the back of Nara's chair. She inhaled sharply.

"Like you feel responsible for his actions."

Nara lowered her gaze and let her shoulders drop. Leia was right. There was no point in denying it.

"What if I could have stopped him?" she spoke softly. "Nothing like this would have happened if I did."

Leia's hand moved from the chair to the back of her neck. "If it is anyone's fault, it is mine. I shouldn't have sent him away."

Nara's fingers found the hem of her shirt. "What do you think he'll do next?"

Leia shook her head. "I don't know. I truly don't know."

"Do you think if it comes down to it, he'll be able to kill his own family?"

"Yes," the general replied firmly. "We are not his family anymore, Nara. That man behind the mask is not the man you grew up with. It is not the same man you loved. Never forget that."

* * *

 **A/N:** I had this idea ever since I came back from the film. I absolutely LOVED Kylo Ren as a character and I think it will be very interesting to explore him through the eyes of my OC. I didn't want to have this story told from his POV as I think it would be more interesting to also read about Leia, Poe, Han, etc.

For anyone wondering, where the hell is Kylo Ren?! He'll show up eventually, don't worry. This story is definitely about the relationship between him and my OC, but I wanted to keep the story the same as in the film. The plot will thus follow the plot of The Force Awakens until I get to the point where there is no more. It didn't make sense for him and Nara to be in the same place in the same chapter, considering the situation.

I hope you all liked Nara. She is my first OC in the Star Wars universe, so I hope she doesn't disappoint. I got a clear idea where I want this story to go and I hope you're all going to enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. Please let me know your thoughts!


	2. Chapter II

When Nara woke up she had forgotten all about everything that had happened for just a moment. Her dreams had been pleasant and peaceful, the exact opposite of the situation they were in. If only she could remain sleeping until the entire war would be over.

Everything came back to her when she opened the blinds of her window. The gloominess reminded her of what had happened the day before. A bank of clouds blocked any warmth from the sun. It was as if the sky was weeping for them.

Leia had convinced her someone else should take over her post for the night, and she was glad she had listened. Thinking back about it, Nara didn't want to see him torture Poe. She knew that he was capable of such things yet she didn't want to see those things personally. She wanted to hang onto the idea that there was still some good left in him.

Nara secured her blonde hair in tight braids on top of her head. She liked to get them as intricate as possible. Maybe it was only to take her mind off things, but the result was what mattered. Next she pulled on her uniform. Wearing it made her feel slightly better. She was going to help the Resistance. She was doing something good.

Before entering the control room she took in a deep breath. As she exhaled Nara got rid of any thoughts and memories she had of yesterday. She had to stop dwell on the past. The reality was bleak and she had to get used to it.

"Anything happen?" Nara asked her replacement as he got out of her chair. He seemed to be very glad she had come to replace him.

"Ren tortured him pretty badly," he spoke. "Vitals are stable though, as is the dot. I guess they left him alone."

Nara narrowed her eyes as she scanned all his vitals, agreeing they looked alright. Either Poe was very strong or Ben had held back. _Kylo_ had held back.

"Do you think he gave up anything? About Skywalker?"

Her colleague shook his head. "No way to know. Either Poe broke or they gave up on him. Better keep an eye on it though, you never know when they could be coming back to try again."

Nara nodded and thanked him before taking place behind the screen again.

When Leia came in she winked ever so slightly as her eyes met with Nara's. She was very grateful for the relationship they had. No one but them knew who Kylo Ren really was. They were the only people to truly know the man behind the mask.

Ever since Nara's parents died Leia became true pillar of support for her. While she could never replace her own mother, she had come close. Being in the presence of someone so strong inspired Nara to be strong. If Leia could deal with Kylo, Han, and Luke all leaving her, Nara could as well.

She held her breath as the dot suddenly began to move. Her body froze for a few seconds as she watched Poe dart across whatever room he was being held. It didn't seem like he was taken somewhere else, not at the speed he was moving.

"Poe is moving!" Nara shouted to whoever was listening and sat back down in her seat, her eyes pinned to the screen.

People gathered behind her as Leia asked her to put it up on the big screen so everyone could follow. If everything went to plan Poe should be in possession to a piece of information about Skywalker's whereabouts. Whatever he did and wherever he went was extremely crucial to the Resistance.

"It is like he is being led by someone."

Nara narrowed her eyes. It indeed looked like it was. Poe moved purposely through the Star Destroyer as if he had been there countless times before. Was he being taken somewhere?

"Maybe someone is helping him," Leia wondered.

"Why would someone do that?" another spoke.

"To escape," Nara concluded.

He was escaping. It was obvious. The speed at which they were moving. His increased heartbeat. He was nervous, and Poe was never nervous. He was really _escaping_.

"That can't be," Leia shook her head. "We have no one on the inside."

"Then someone on their side turned. There is no other answer," one of her advisors spoke.

They came to a halt and then suddenly their speed increased immensely. It was apparent they had boarded a spacecraft.

"That's a TIE," C3PO said, analyzing the statistics at which they were moving. "A First Order spacecraft. It seems he truly is escaping."

A cheer erupted in the control room. All of the tension that had been building up seemed to be released all at once through relief. Poe had done it, but how had they ever doubted him before?

Excited murmurs filled the room as they all followed Poe's escape together. His speed increased and his dot dodged all over the map, indicating the First Order wasn't letting him leave without a fight.

While she kept her gaze focussed on the big screen Nara couldn't help but speculate who was helping Poe. Someone on the inside had to have turned, there was no other possibility. They had no one there and they had no way of getting someone there in such a short span of time. It was hard to imagine someone turning against the First Order. What was even harder to imagine was someone getting away with it.

"They're accelerating fast," an advisor spoke.

"I think they're crashing," Nara spoke, her eyes narrowed as she read the data.

They weren't accelerating, they were falling. There was no way Poe would let the TIE go to this speed as it would become uncontrollable. Taking into consideration the fact they were heading straight back to Jakku it was impossible to ignore they were about to crash.

"Shot down?" Leia said, a stern tone to her voice.

All the excitement that had just filled the control room was exchanged for nervous glances. Would this be the end of Poe Dameron?

The dot came to a sudden halt.

Nara tracked his vitals and she was sure he had crashed, but survived.

"He's still alive!"

"How bad is it?" Leia asked.

"Considering the situation and the impact of the crash," Nara said, checking his vitals once more before coming to a conclusion, "It could have been a hell of a lot worse. It looks like he knew he was crashing and prepared himself for it."

Leia nodded and turned herself to the room, addressing them all at once.

"Let's get our pilot home."

* * *

An adrenaline filled day was ahead of Nara as Leia send her to make sure the pilots got off on their way. Poe's rescue mission was going to be dangerous, but is was going to be necessary. They needed to retrieve him because he was their best pilot but also because he carried some vital piece of information.

They were to send three X-Wings commanded by the best pilots she could find on such a short notice. Nara was thankful Leia had given her the opportunity to organize this. It was a way to make up for everything that had happened to Poe. She knew she shouldn't take responsibility for _his_ actions, yet she couldn't help but to make up for them.

When the pilots were safely on their way to Jakku Nara returned to the control room to oversee the mission. Poe needed to be retrieved as soon as possible. His vitals were stable for the moment being, but all of that could change in an instant. Other factors to consider was him being found by Stormtroopers and taken back. Nara doubted they would allow him to escape a second time.

She wondered if the one who had helped him escape was still by his side. For someone to go against everything they had been trained for and help Poe escape had to be an incredibly brave thing. Nara doubted if she could have been so strong if she were to be in the same position.

"X-Wing's ETA is an hour," one Resistance fighter in the room told her.

Nara nodded before looking over her shoulder to check in with Leia, who also nodded contently. Where the other mission went wrong, this mission was going to succeed.

The hour passed slowly yet Nara never felt bored. This was what she loved to do. Manage. Oversee. Making sure everything was running smoothly. She had been Poe's personal overseer for a while now, and she had never quite taken the lead before as today. And it felt good.

"Five more minutes."

Nara placed her hands on the desk in front of her and leaned forward, her eyes following the cameras of the X-Wing's closely. She could see Jakku in the far distance, growing closer every second that passed.

"Four minutes."

The structure of the land became visible. Jakku could be described as a wasteland with only sand covering its surface. Some called it a junkyard, yet Nara didn't feel like she could judge without setting foot on land. Even the darkest places held beauty, and she couldn't see why this planet would be any different.

"Three minutes."

The X-Wing's lowered their speed. The pilots were conferring amongst themselves. They had Poe's exact location and according to his tracker he hadn't moved ever since he had crashed. Judging by his non-changing vitals, he was unconscious, which was a positive outlook considering the situation.

"Two minutes."

Sand was everywhere. Nara couldn't see any TIE fighter on the ground. Had Poe ejected himself way before the impact? Was that how he survived?

"One minute."

Slowly but surely a small indescribable figure on the ground began to resemble Poe. They had gotten here before the First Order.

A feeling of happiness settled inside her. She had done it. How proud her parents would be seeing her in this moment, overseeing a mission of the Resistance. Poe would be rescued and she had a part in it.

"They have him! They have Poe!"

Cheers again erupted.

* * *

 **A/N:** WOW. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments so far. I have been absolutely overwhelmed by them. Thank you so much!

I consider myself by no means an expert on Star Wars, so please please please correct me if I have any wrong information in my fic. As _thejoker122_ pointed out, I said the New Republic was against the Resistance, which is absolutely untrue. It of course does support it. I'm trying to see TFA a second time until then it sometimes gets hard to remember when/what/who exactly happened. So please, correct me if I'm wrong.

That was all for now, please leave a review about what you thought of this chapter. Still no Kylo, but it will take a little while before we get to him. Or he gets to Nara ;)


	3. Chapter III

Seeing Poe coming through the doors of the control room was unbelievable. There weren't many people who could say they had been caught by the First Order and were able to escape. The fact that the mission had worked out in the end had been a miracle in itself.

Poe was hardly able to make in to the center of the room. Everyone he passed extended their arm, offering him their congratulations for making it back all in one piece. He had suffered a mild concussion and some bruises, but nothing that would result in permanent damage.

When everyone finally settled down and had gathered around Poe could speak. There were so many things they had to discuss. Who helped him? How did they escape? What happened to the piece of information he had? What did the First Order know? _How was Kylo Ren?_

"First of all, thank you for getting me back here," Poe started and everyone clapped once again. "I never doubted you all for even one second."

A smirk appeared on his lips. "Okay, maybe for a few seconds."

Nara looked at her hands before looking back up to Poe. She was beginning to feel a little nervous. He would be able to confirm all the things that had been said about Kylo Ren. It was becoming harder and harder to keeping hanging onto the idea there was still some light left in him.

"Let's get started with the important bit," Poe said. He ran his fingers through his hair before continuing to speak. "I retrieved the map which could lead us to Skywalker. After Jakku got attacked I gave it to BB-8, figuring a droid would be ignored by the Stormtroopers when I wouldn't. Where he is, I do not know."

He seemed to await Leia's answer. She shook her head in regret, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Neither do we," she said.

Nara remembered how she wanted to send a mission to pursue BB-8. She couldn't blame Leia or anyone else for not going through with it. How could anyone of them have known what information BB-8 had in its possession?

"I'm sure he'll turn up one way or another," Poe said, as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else in the room. "Stormtroopers shot up my X-Wing and Kylo Ren took me in custody."

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name. She moved her thumb to her lip and began to bite the rim of her nails. It was a bad habit but she didn't care about it right now.

"He took me onto his command shuttle and back to where the First Order is based. There, he tortured me."

Nara lowered her eyes as she pretended to be not affected by his words.

"He knows about BB-8. I couldn't stop him from getting that information. I think we might have underestimated his powers. He is a lot stronger than we all thought."

"Let's talk about the escape," Leia spoke.

Nara couldn't help but notice it was a quick way to change the subject. Whatever Poe's words were doing to her, she could only imagine it was hitting Leia even harder. He was her son, after all.

"Believe it or not, a Stormtrooper helped me escape."

Several people began to confer amongst each other. This was what they had suspected, yet it was still strange to hear it had actually happened. Someone on the inside had turned.

"His name is Finn. I lost him during the crash, but without his help I would have still been in there. Probably dead."

"Does he know about BB-8?" Leia asked.

Poe nodded. "He does. But I trust him. He helped me break out of there. Why face the wrath of Kylo Ren over nothing? He wanted to get out of there as badly as I wanted to."

"So he is still on Jakku?" Nara spoke, raising her voice.

Her mind was putting the pieces together. If she remembered correctly, BB-8 was also supposed to be on Jakku unless the droid found a way to get off the planet, which she doubted.

"What if he is able to find BB-8 and get the droid to us?"

It remained quiet for a moment as everyone let her suggestion sink in.

"That could work," Poe said. He smiled as their eyes met. "We should go back to Jakku. Track him and bring him here."

* * *

Nara waited until the excitement of Poe's return had died down before she went to find him. He had quickly disappeared from the control room, but Nara knew where he usually retreated to. There were a lot of places on D'Qar to hide, yet Poe always went to the same spot. The planet consisted only of a huge hangar for the X-Wing's, the Resistance HQ, and some very quickly put together homes for all the resistance fighters. In between was nothing but lush green fields and forestry that could hide most of their activity well from the eyes of the enemy.

She had climbed the hill to the north of their HQ where she knew Poe had hidden himself. It had rained the day before, making the mud slick under her feet. The earthy scent filled her nose as she took in the view around her. This planet wasn't that horrible to be at. Under different circumstances she might enjoy living here.

Poe was seated on an fallen down tree, his feet resting in front of him as his eyes were focused on the line of trees ahead. Nara knew he liked to come here to clear his mind after a mission, and after what he had been through she figured he needed to clear his mind more than ever.

The rustling of the wet leaves under her feet caught Poe's attention. He turned around, a soft smile appearing on his lips as he spotted Nara. She greeted him as she sat down next to him. Normally she would never want to disturb him during this time, but there were things she needed to know. Things he needed to confirm.

Nara had realized something when Poe stood in the control room, explaining how he escaped. She couldn't deny Kylo Ren's true identity forever. She couldn't ignore everyone's comments about him, hoping they weren't true. If she wanted to help the Resistance to the best of her ability it was time to face the facts.

"You came to talk about him, didn't you?" Poe started, cocking his eyebrow slightly.

Nara nodded her head in defeat. "You know me well."

"I'm expecting a visit by Leia later. You girls are tough to beat."

She chuckled. "Or maybe you should find another place to hide."

Poe laughed as well. He crossed his feet in front of him, taking a deep breath as if to prepare himself for the string of questions Nara would be asking him.

"First of all, Nara, you have to believe that this man, this Kylo Ren… He's not the man you think he is. Everything that Ben was is gone. Underneath the mask he might look the same, but that is were the similarities end."

Nara lowered her gaze to the ground. She had prepared herself for this. For so long she wanted to believe he wasn't evil. That he hadn't turned to the Dark Side completely. If anyone would be delivering the news to her that everything she was holding onto was a lie, it would be Poe. He would never lie to her. He would never make the truth worse just so she would forget about him.

"He really is Darth Vader reincarnated," Poe said. She could hear the regret in his voice. "I expected there to be some of Ben left in him, but there was nothing. The way he used his mind tricks to force the information out of me. He's doing things I never expected he could do."

"The Dark Side has completely corrupted him," Nara spoke, drawing conclusion on what Poe was telling her.

"Exactly," Poe nodded.

"Did he have that lightsaber? The cross guarded one?"

Poe turned to her, his brows ruffling. "The red one? Yes. And it looks as every bit as impressive as it sounds."

"It is very ragged looking, isn't it?"

"It is…," Poe said. "How would you know that?"

Nara could feel her cheeks reddening. Quickly she spoke again, hoping he wouldn't ask any further questions.

"I heard people speak of it. It's a one of a kind lightsaber."

A silence fell between them. Nara's fingers fumbled with each other, her right hand picking away at her left. She was glad Poe was telling her this. It was exactly what she needed to hear. Ben Solo was no more. Kylo Ren was his name now. A new name, a new person.

"Look, Nara," Poe said. His eyes finding hers again. "I know you don't want to, but you should give up on him. He will never return as Ben. He can never take back all the things he's done. It's time to let go."

Nara nodded understandingly. Everything Poe had said made so much sense. This was exactly what she had to do.

She had to let go.

* * *

 **A/N:** So sorry I couldn't upload yesterday. I'm trying to upload every day, but it gets a little hard since I have to work a lot during the christmas break. I'll try to upload as often as I can, don't worry. I want to again thank you all so so so much for your lovely comments. I don't think I ever had so many e-mails in my inbox messaging me about reviews and followers. Thanks again!

I'm currently developing the structure of the story a little further, also taking on board some of your suggestions that I read. Please feel free to leave more, as it is always helpful if I don't have a lot of inspiration for a moment. I do not think I want to do a love triangle between Nara, Poe, and Kylo. I'd rather have their relationship to be built on mutual respect instead of love and focus on NaraxKylo

I have a good idea what I want the next chapter to be, and I think you all would really like it too ;) Until next time and take care! :D

Oh, and yes _Poe Dayumeron_ ;) ;)


	4. Chapter IV

_Nara exhaled slowly as she felt Ben's fingers move with the motion of her back. His thumb slowly began to stroke the bare skin underneath her loose fitted top. She her head rested on the palm of her hand as her other held open the book she was reading. The pages of it were old and fragile and the librarian had insisted it dated from before the downfall of the EduCorps._

 _"What are you reading about?" Nara asked when her eye fell on the page Ben was reading._

 _Spending time together in silence was one of her favorite things. They did not need to constantly talk to each other and easily appreciated each other's company in complete peace. His hands on her back was enough to satisfy her need for him and if it were up to her she would spend every day like this._

 _"Nothing in particular," Ben spoke. His finger fumbled with the pages as he tried to turn to another chapter._

 _Nara let go of her own book and found the pages he had been reading nevertheless, her curiosity taking over. Her eyes scanned the page, the text, the images. She knew Ben had been reading a lot about the history of the Galactic Empire and such lately, but this book went into more detail than she had seen before._

 _"The DS-1 Orbital Battle Station," she read out loud. "Also known as the Imperial Planetary Ore Extractor."_

 _She paused for a moment as she quickly scanned the rest of the page. "Why are you reading about the Death Star?"_

 _Ben removed his hand from her back, leaving a cold spot behind where his fingers had rested. He then placed them on Nara's hand, pushing it away from the page and closing the book. He rolled on his back and let out a sigh._

 _"It's important to learn about our history," he finally spoke, placing his arms besides him._

 _Nara moved closer and rested her head on his chest, his beating heart the only sound in the room. She knew Ben always had an interest in history, and she couldn't blame him. Being part Skywalker and part Solo meant his family had been involved in a great deal of history, but lately she noticed how he was choosing his topics more and more selectively._

 _"I know," she murmured, her eyes fixed on the wall on the other side of the room._

 _For a good minutes they remained in the same position. His parents would return him soon so it was her final chance to enjoy their time in silence._

 _"When are you leaving?" Nara asked. She turned her head so she could look to him before placing her head back where it belonged._

 _"I'm not sure," Ben replied. He seemed to appreciate the topic change. His fingers found her hair and even his heartbeat seemed to slow down. "Mother is keeping contact with Uncle Luke. I am ready, though, I feel it."_

 _Nara had overheard his parents once arguing about sending him to Luke Skywalker to become a Jedi. She remembered Leia wanting to send him as soon as she found out he was force sensitive, but Han had always prevented it for as long as he could._

 _"You'll have to braid your hair as a padawan," Nara chuckled._

 _Ben's hair was long enough to braid it, but she knew he always hated the look of it._

 _He sighed in annoyance. "I guess it's a small price to pay."_

 _Nara pushed herself upwards. "I am sure you'll look amazing with a braid," she said before planting a gentle kiss on his lips. She knew she shouldn't be teasing him like this._

 _"As a Jedi I won't be allowed to marry," Ben said, raising one eyebrow while a smirk played on his lips._

 _"I know," Nara nodded. She had read the Jedi Code many times before._

 _When she had rested her head on his chest again it dawned on her what he had said. Quickly she rose once more, frowning slightly._

 _"But wait a minute. Are you saying you would marry me?"_

 _She couldn't help but smile when she saw Ben's difficult expression. His brows ruffled as he appeared to be in deep thought, as if he was seriously considering it even though he would be training to become a Jedi Knight._

 _"I'm just kidding," she said quickly to relief him from the stress she appeared to be causing him. "I'm sure we'll find a way to make things work. We always do."_

 _"Maybe you can come and visit during my training," Ben suggested, but Nara knew that was impossible. This Jedi training thing would become a huge test on their relationship. She had no idea what to do. Break it off? Continue and hope it would work out? Marriage and love was against the Jedi Code, but how many Jedi's' truly kept to those rules?_

 _Truth to be told Nara didn't understand much of it. She knew Ben was force sensitive from the moment she had met him. He could do things another people could not, and with parents like Han and Leia it was only natural to assume he would become a Jedi in his later life. She did not doubt he could become really good at it._

 _Ben was part of something bigger that she sometimes failed to grasp. Their relationship meant nothing in the eyes of the Jedi Order. Ben held so much potential, she would feel guilty if she would keep him away from fulfilling his destiny, even if she wanted to keep him as close to her as possible._

 _"And if I can't visit, I know your dad can probably find a way to sneak me in," Nara said._

 _She was glad to see it made Ben smile._

 _"I'm sure Chewie would also be glad to help you. He's got a soft spot for you."_

 _Contently she placed her head on his chest again._

 _"Chewbacca has a soft spot for anyone who can understand him."_

 _Ben chuckled. "I still don't know how you can make out a word he says. I always thought dad was crazy and just made up the things he said."_

 _"Nope. Chewie truly speaks."_

 _It was silent again._

 _"I should probably go soon," Nara spoke, her voice hushed. Saying goodbye was becoming harder and harder, even if she knew she would be seeing him again the next day. The fact that he didn't know when he would go and train with Luke was making her nervous. How much time together did they still have left? Every minute that passed meant they were a minute closer to his departure._

 _Ben didn't speak but she knew he had heard what she had said._

 _Nara pushed herself upwards so she was sitting again, her legs dangling from the edge of his bed. She turned her torso, her eyes finding his._

 _"You'll tell me when your mom says something, right?" she spoke, making sure he wouldn't forget._

 _Ben nodded. "Of course. You'll be the first to know."_

 _Nara smiled softly. Hearing how important she was to him never failed to be boring._

 _She stood and shuffled to his bedside, leaning forward to give him a kiss. His hand gripped her right thigh as the kiss intensified. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach yet quickly died down again when she realized there would only be a limited amount of times they could be doing this again._

 _Her head moved backwards, but he reacted by leaning in again._

 _"I'll see you tomorrow," Ben smiled, stealing one last kiss._

* * *

 **A/N:** It makes me so happy to read you are all enjoying this story so much. I can only hope you enjoyed this flashback as well. I thought it was a great way to show Ben before he became Kylo. A lot of you were waiting for him to appear so here you have him, through flashback :P. I promise Kylo will also soon make an appearance, but as I said before, it takes some time to set it all up.

Please let me know what you thought of this flashback and if you would like to see more of them! Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter V

The explosions could be seen all the way from D'Qar. Nara held her breath as she saw the Hosnian system burst apart right in front of her eyes. Even though it was daytime, the blast could clearly be seen. It confirmed what they had been suspecting for a while now, the First Order had a weapon. A big weapon.

An emergency meeting seemed to be called for. Nara quickly gathered her thoughts, trying to process what had happened. This could have been them. If the weapon had been at a different angle it could have been their planet which was blown into oblivion.

"What the hell just happened," Leia stressed. She was pacing up and down the control room as the rest of the fighters watched her, equally nervous.

Nobody seemed to be able to come up with an answer. It was clear the First Order was trying to eradicate everything that could be tied to the New Republic and the Hosnian system seemed to be the perfect place to start. It would only be a matter of time before their planet would be next.

"Whatever it was," one of Leia's advisors spoke, "We need to act fast. We have no way of knowing what the First Order's next step is. But we have to be ahead of them."

Nara turned her head over her shoulder, noticing fighters were still busy behind their systems, trying their best to gather all different kinds of information from the data they were receiving from all over the galaxy. It was moments like this when she was truly impressed with their fighters. It almost seemed like nothing was able to affect them. The Resistance didn't have any time to grieve.

"They're slowly but surely destroying everything that does not acknowledge them as their new leader," Nara spoke up. Her eyes met with Leia's who nodded approvingly. "We have to act. We have to act now."

"This Starkiller thing, or whatever it is called," Poe said with his usual nonchalance, "It is bigger than anything we have seen before. It will be hard to take it out without any knowledge of the interior."

"Your boy," Leia said. She moved closer to Poe, her arm extended in front of her as she held her finger up in the air. "This Stormtrooper who helped you. He knows it inside out. He might be able to help us find its weaknesses."

"That's not a bad idea, not a bad idea at all," Poe nodded. "Except we have no idea where he is right now. I doubt he's still on Jakku, but with a galaxy this big he could literally be anywhere."

The silence that fell after was quickly filled with a nervous voice coming from the back. Nara saw one of her fellow fighters, slowly rising. C-3PO stood behind him and for once he wasn't speaking.

"I might know where he is," he spoke, his voice trembling as if he couldn't quite believe what he had found himself.

Nara exchanged glances with Poe as she followed him to the back of the control room. She peered over his shoulders as she read the data on the screen. They had intercepted a message about the First Order attacking the planet of Takodana. It spoke of a traitor Stormtrooper.

"That's him," Poe nodded. Nara could see the delight in his eyes. "That is definitely him. We have to get him. We have to send a mission!"

"Slow down, Poe," Leia ordered. "We cannot get him out of there without knowing what we're up against. It could be us against a few Stormtroopers but it could also be us against an entire army."

"I'm retrieving more," the fighter spoke as his fingers rushed over the keyboard to collect every bit of information he could possibly get.

Nara read the lines along while he recovered the data. It didn't take long until Kylo Ren's name appeared on the screen, telling them he would be overseeing the mission to Takodana.

"They would never send so many Stormtroopers just to collect Finn," Poe said thoughtful. "They're after something else."

"BB-8," Nara whispered as she puzzled the pieces together.

"BB-8 is on Takodana?" Leia repeated.

The fact that the little droid had traveled so much throughout the galaxy was astounding on its own. It was clear he had been picked up by Finn and possibly others. Whoever they all were, they needed to be rescued and they were never getting off that planet without any help from the Resistance.

"We have to send a mission," Poe repeated his words impatiently.

"You'll have your mission," Leia said, tapping his shoulder before brushing past him.

* * *

The Battle for Takodana, as it was already called, had made her mind race. It was of extreme importance they would at least retrieve BB-8, but what was more important was that he wouldn't fall into the hands of Kylo Ren. Nara figured that was exactly where she might be able to help.

She waited until Leia was alone in her office before speaking to her. She didn't want anyone else overhearing her idea and judging her for even coming up with it. It was a ridiculous plan, but the Resistance has done equally stupid things in the past which seemed to have worked out. Why couldn't this work?

"Come in," Leia said after Nara knocked on her door. Poe was still there, sitting in front of Leia's desk, his leg crossed over his other. She hadn't expected him to be there, but she didn't mind him hearing what she had to say.

"About the mission…. To Takodana," Nara began as she fumbled with the hem of her shirt. Looking Leia in her eyes was becoming harder and harder as she realized how ludicrous her idea was. "I think I could be of help."

"I know you can," Leia said, a soothing smile on her lips. "You always help."

Nara shook her head. "No. I don't mean from here, but from Takodana. I want to come along."

Leia leaned backwards as she looked over the rim of her glasses.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I know that Kylo will be there, and he'll want BB-8."

Nara swallowed before continuing. She hadn't thought out the logistics of it all yet. The only thing she knew was that she really wanted to do this.

"I can distract him from everything."

Poe put both of his feet on the ground as he turned on his chair. He looked confused, as could be expected.

"Why would you put yourself at risk? It is not worth it."

"You don't know him like I do, Poe. Seeing me will definitely distract him for long enough for you to get BB-8 the hell out of there."

Poe shook his head. "And then he'll kill you."

"He won't kill me," Nara said firmly, although she didn't know if it was entirely true. She would like to believe he wouldn't hurt her. "Send back up with me. Some of your best combat fighters, whatever you want. I just have a feeling this might work."

"This is crazy," he said, turning himself to Leia again, hoping she would back him up.

But Leia seemed to be actually considering what Nara had proposed.

"Poe, you have to admit, it could work. What matters right now is getting BB-8's information. We _need_ to get to Luke, whatever the cost."

"And sacrifice Nara in the process?" he scoffed.

"I don't think he'll kill her either. You didn't see how torn up he was after he had to leave her to train with Luke. Kylo Ren might hurt her, but as much as he seems to be possessed by the darkness right now, he couldn't kill her."

"Let me do this, Poe," Nara said as she moved closer to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Do you have a death wish or something?"

Nara chuckled. "What I want is for this galaxy is for things to go back to normal. No more First Order. No more Sith lords. We need Luke. We need BB-8, and let's be honest, we don't necessarily need me."

It seemed as if Poe wanted to argue but couldn't think of the right things to say. He pushed himself backwards in his seat, his arms crossed in front of his chest. It was clear he didn't agree with her proposal but she didn't expect he would. He didn't know Ben Solo like Nara and Leia had known him. To him he was the goofy kid who happened to be force sensitive and turned into another Darth Vader. To Nara and Leia he was someone they loved. Someone they knew better than they knew themselves.

"You're going to have protection," Leia spoke finally. "You're not trained in combat and there is no time to train you, but that's a chance we'll take."

Poe was shaking his head in disbelief, but Nara ignored him.

"I never thought they had the power to destroy another system of planets. We need to act more rapidly and more radically."

Even though the prospect of facing Kylo Ren was terrifying in different aspects, Nara couldn't help but smile.

"Is that a yes?" she asked, her heart fluttering from nerves.

Leia nodded. "Yes."

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, I have to admit after reading a summary of the film again I remembered the storyline incorrectly. I had to make some changes to my plot development, which involved getting Nara sooner to Kylo than I wanted. However, after I made the changes I am quite happy with them and the plot can continue again as I planned.

I am very very excited to write the next chapter, as you can imagine. I am hoping to get it up tomorrow evening so keep your eyes peeled. Please let me know your thoughts once again, I love to read your comments. Thanks so much for reading and take care :D


	6. Chapter VI

It had taken her until the moment she had set foot on Takodana before Nara realized what was happening. Everything had happened so fast that she didn't have any time to think about it, let alone let it all sink in. Breathing in the damp air of the planet made it all come to life. This was were it was going to happen. If everything went according to plan, this would be the day she was going to see Ben.

Her heart was beating uncontrollably as she took her first step. Poe had sent his best fighters with her, but they had allowed her to take the lead. She was dressed in the same uniform the pilots where, making her blend in with the others. The orange suit didn't camouflage her position in the thick forestry, but they hadn't come to hide. They were here to be seen.

The blaster in her hands felt heavy and awkward. Nara had experience with firing it, as her father had taught her from a young age (much against her mother's wishes), yet the thought of actually having to use it on someone was daunting.

Occasionally she heard someone speaking over the comms, but the sound was drowned out by the blasts that came from further away. When landing it became clear they had to be dropped off further from where the action was happening than was expected.

Nara tried to regulate her breathing as much as possible. _Inhale, exhale_ , she told herself over and over as they moved through the forest. She kept her gaze on the line of trees ahead, trying to spot any movement, but so far they had been out of luck.

"We have to move closer to the Kanata's castle," she spoke over comms.

"It's too dangerous," someone replied behind her.

She flexed her fingers once before wrapping it around her blaster again. They had no choice. If they would wait out here in the forest Kylo Ren would have been gone before they even had the chance to see him.

Before she was able to reply she heard a twig snap in the distance. Her body froze as she began to hope she only imagined the sound in her head, but when she saw her back-up had also come to a halt she realized they had all heard it.

"Did you hear that?" someone spoke.

"What is it?"

Nara's eyes widened as she did her best to try to see what was going on. Another sound came from up ahead. Footsteps?

"I have to check it out," she said. "It could be him."

Slowly but surely she moved towards where the sound had come from. To make herself feel relatively secure, Nara raised the blaster so she would have a clear shot on anyone who would come into her sight.

The fighters were following her every move. For a moment they remained still as they turned to watch an explosion rise from the grounds further to the west. From where they were it was impossible to see who was winning this battle.

A shriek came from up ahead.

Nara perked her ears and when she heard it again she quickened her pace and began to run. Whoever was there, they were in need of help. Whoever was so far removed from the battle had to be someone of importance. Or someone who didn't want to be found.

She had caught her back-up by surprise as they struggled to keep up with her speed. While she was running Nara took off her helmet and threw it to the side. It had felt heavy on her head and without it she was able to run much faster. There was no time to think it through, and she didn't want to. The moment she would start to think about what was about to happen and who she was about to see would only complicate matters.

"Nara, wait!"

Her back-up was frantically calling her back, but she needed to know what this sound was. She had a feeling about this. A bad feeling.

Nara stopped in her tracks when she saw someone. A girl was dangling mid air, a pained expression on her face.

She cocked her head slightly as she narrowed her eyes. Something about that girl felt awfully familiar. She recognized her from somewhere, but Nara could not place where. Her gaze scanned the girl from top to bottom, but when her eyes met with hers and she saw her warning gaze she snapped out of her trance.

Nara's head shot to the left. Her breath got caught in her throat and it felt like her heart was going to leap out of her chest. Tingles went down her spine as she began to feel faint. That was him. It had to be him. It couldn't be anyone else.

Kylo Ren turned himself to her, his arm still outstretched in front of him as the girl remained in his power.

She failed to respond to what she was seeing. He looked so different than what she had remembered and she had envisioned. What struck her to most was his mask and how much it looked like Vader's. It covered his entire face, leaving only a darkened opening through which he could see. His black robe was pulled over his mask, making him appear taller than he already was. The only thing that she recognized was his cross guarded lightsaber which he held firmly in his hand.

Nara was transfixed with him. After all this time he was standing before her again. It was the first time she could see how much the dark side had possessed him, and it was worse than she had expected. Once she believed the man beneath the mask was someone she knew, someone she loved, but right now she wasn't sure of all of that anymore.

"Ben," she breathed, her voice coming out raspier than she wanted. Nara did not want him to see her nervous.

In the background the fight seemed to worsen. Another explosions came right after the next, and here and there she could hear screams of pain. The longer they remained in silence the more she began to wonder if he remembered her at all. Did he suppress anything that could tie him to his previous life? Did he not want to acknowledge he knew her?

Nara's eyes moved from Rey to Kylo. The tension between them was building with every second that passed.

"What are you doing here?"

His voice surprised her more than anyone else. It was low, artificial, and terrifying. It completely distorted Ben's own voice into something far worse.

"Ben," she repeated, her voice now more confident yet still careful. She hadn't seen him in so long, and she had no idea how he was going to respond to her being here.

Nara looked over her shoulder to see where her back-up was, but it appeared she had truly shook them off. Maybe they saw Kylo and decided they weren't going to take the risk. Nara couldn't blame them. She might even secretly be glad she was here alone. This was between her and Ben.

When she turned her head back she was shocked to find Kylo had his lightsaber pointed to her. Nara held her breath as she watched him closely, firmly holding onto her blaster.

"No one has dared to call me that for a long time," Kylo spoke.

"You have to stop this, Ben," Nara said, ignoring his comment. He might be in full control of his army, but he would never be in full control of her. She wouldn't allow it.

"Stop what?" Kylo replied. He lowered his lightsaber and she was able to breathe again.

"Whatever you are doing. Take off that mask and come home."

Nara knew it could never be so easy, but she could still hear fight continuing in the distance. She had to stall for as long as she could for the Resistance to have a chance at retrieving BB-8. While she was mostly here to see Ben again, she had to remind herself what the true objective of this mission was.

Kylo chuckled, his mask distorting it to make it sound much more dark.

"What home? I have no home."

He turned his head back to the girl, who was witnessing their exchange in pain.

"Are you with her?" he asked before turning back again.

Nara shook her head. "I have never seen her before."

Yet she still recognized her, but how could she? This had to be a coincidence.

"Where is the droid?"

She didn't know if Kylo was asking her or the girl, but since she was able to speak freely she decided to answer.

"You'll never get the droid, Ben. The Resistance is one step ahead of you."

Kylo let his shoulders drop and Nara was sure she heard a sigh releasing from his lips.

"You're with them now."

It was almost as if he sounded disappointed, like he was annoyed by her life choices. Did he really expect she would support him? Come with him to the Dark Side? She loved a man called Ben Solo, not this Kylo Ren that stood before her. He might as well be a stranger to her.

Nara shrugged. "Of course I am, Ben."

His name seemed to both annoy and anger him at the same time. She saw his sword hand twitch when she spoke it out loud.

Kylo moved towards the girl as she remained in complete paralysis as he approached her. He moved his hands in front of her face. Nara watched her tremble in pain and it quickly became clear what he was doing.

"You have seen the map," he concluded.

Nara swallowed. The girl had seen the map? She knew about Luke Skywalker's hiding place? Whoever she was, she had to have been in contact with BB-8 and possible Poe's stormtrooper. Who else was in on this?

Nara looked down to her blaster. If only she could shoot him. Maybe she could rescue both herself and the girl. Leia would be more than interested in her. Whatever information she knew, it could lead them back to Luke.

"And you," Kylo said as he suddenly turned on his heel, his lightsaber narrowly missing the girl.

Before he was able to finish his sentence Nara's finger pulled the trigger. A blaster rod escaped from the barrel of the gun and headed straight for Kylo. Motionless she watched it travel through the air.

Kylo swiftly used his lightsaber to deflect the rod, sending it in a different direction

In silence Nara watched the bolt rip through the trees before she looked back to Kylo again. He also remained static as his gaze focussed on her as he cocked his head to the right. It was almost as if he was offended she would try to shoot him.

"If I were you I would never try to do that again," he grumbled. With one swipe of his hand he pulled the blaster out of her hands. It flew through the air, landing right besides him.

In the corner of her eyes Nara spotted two stormtroopers slowly approaching them with caution. One of them spoke in a similar mechanic voice and she couldn't help but wonder who was in there, underneath the mask.

"Sir? Resistance fighters. We need more troops."

They did not seem to react at her presence at all, but then again they had no idea who the hell she was.

"Pull the division out," Kylo ordered. "Forget the droid. We have what we need."

Nara watched them in silence. He moved to the girl again, making her lose conscious with one small trick. He then picked her up without the slightest hesitation. Was he going to leave her behind?

She took small steps backwards, careful so the leaves crunching underneath her feet wouldn't catch their attention. Even though she didn't have the blaster anymore, she knew she could run. With the armor the stormtroopers were wearing she was undoubtedly faster than they were. Kylo wouldn't shoot her down. He would've done so already if he wanted to, especially after she did shoot _him_.

"What about the other one?" the stormtrooper spoke.

Nara cursed under her breath. She remembered the helmet she threw off. The only way of contacting the rest was through the communication system integrated inside. Why had she been so stupid to take it off?

Kylo didn't turn herself to her yet his commands were clear.

"Take her. She's part of the Resistance. She might be valuable."

Nara spun around on her heel as fast as she could. She had their attention anyway, no need to worry about making any noises. As fast as she could she darted to where they had came from, wondering where the hell her back-up had been this entire time.

The trees all looked awfully familiar as she made her way through them. Nara tried her best to remember from what side they had dropped her off. Someone might be waiting on her to come back.

Something in the distance caught her attention. It was orange, just like her suit. It had to be other fighters.

Her heart started to pound faster and faster as she continued running. She looked over her shoulder to see she had a lead over the stormtroopers who were struggling to keep up with her pace.

When she looked ahead again she almost fell. The orange suits she had seen in the distance indeed belonged to Resistance fighters like herself. Time seemed to stopas she took in the scene before her. The explosions in the background seemed to fade, as were the stormtroopers who were closing in on her.

Nara let herself fall to her knees. They were dead. All of them. Dead.

Her eyes scanned all the bodies laying before her, their orange suits stained with blood. A feeling of guilt washed over her. She shouldn't have run away. She shouldn't have suggested this damn mission in the first place. Retrieving BB-8 had never been her priority. It had always been seeing Ben again. Her selfishness had cost the lives of others.

A pair of hands pushed her forward, into the mud. Nara didn't care anymore. Even if she would have made it to the X-Wing's, she wasn't able to fly one. Her only option at staying alive was coming with Kylo. She would sooner die out here by herself, than within his custody.

"Quick," one stormtrooper hushed to the other. "I don't want to make him angry again for waiting."

They tied her hands firmly behind her back. Nara was glad they didn't take her out like Kylo had taken out the girl. She wanted to see everything around her as they took her to his spaceship. The wreckage he had caused would remind her how much he had changed. Ben would have never killed so many people.

Someone shouting caught her attention. As she was about to set her foot on board of the command shuttle, she turned her head, finding a boy running towards them. She didn't recognize him so she let her hang bow low again as the stormtroopers gave her a push so she would continue walking.

* * *

 **A/N:** Reunion time! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I can't wait to write the following chapters. Things are getting interesting now ;)

Thank you all once again for all of your lovely comments. It makes writing this fic a lot easier knowing there are so many people enjoying it all.

I also want to thank the users _actressen, KrazyForYourLove, Hailey-Stone, Lily ren,_ and _annabelleigh1996_ for informing me about a certain other user not particularly liking my story. Apparently it took too long for Kylo and Nara to be finally reunited. But hey! Guess what! It didn't take me 3545 chapters! Only 6! YAY!

No seriously. I don't want to add more fuel to the fire, but if you don't like this story, **don't read it.** I can't make everyone happy and if this story isn't for you - so be it. Find something else you like and leave me be.

Anyway, as always, please let me know your thoughts and hopefully I'll be able to post another chapter before christmas :D


	7. Chapter VII

The stormtroopers brought Nara to a holding cell in Kylo Ren's commanding shuttle. It was small, dark, and lacked any basic utilities such as a place to sit. Without hesitation they pushed her inside, locking the thick iron door behind her. They hadn't even bothered to take off the ties that were wrapped around her wrists, keeping them together behind her back.

For a moment Nara didn't know what to do. Motionless she remained, her mind working fast. Deep inside she had already figured this might happen, but in reality it was much more scarier than she had expected. Where were they taking her?

Nara wiggled with her arms but the ties remained firmly in place. There was no way to pound on the door, and she didn't think screaming would be of any help. The chance that there was another stormtrooper willing to switch sides was extremely tiny. She only had herself and she reminded that she needed to remain sane if she were to get through this.

Where she once had hope there was still some of Ben left in Kylo Ren, she now had to hope the Resistance would come back for her.

Time seemed to slow down as she tried to keep her mind busy. Wherever they were taking her, it was far away from Takodana. Judging by the lack of turbulence, the command shuttle was a sophisticated ship. Nara wondered what Kylo had done to earn himself something like this.

The stormtroopers didn't return until they had reached their destination. In silence they opened her holding cell, grabbing her by her arms as they took her through what looked like the boarding area inside of a Star Destroyer.

As they lead her through the ship, Nara kept her eyes open for Kylo, but she failed to see him through the mass of stormtroopers surrounding her.

After passing through a corridor they brought her to what seemed the lower levels of the ship. There were less stormtroopers passing on this deck and Nara figured they were brining her to another holding cell.

"I want to see Kylo," Nara spoke, but she failed to get any response. It looked like the stormtroopers were under strict order not to speak to her. Perhaps Kylo was afraid she would share information about his past. About who he truly is.

This time the cell was much bigger, yet it still felt cramped. The walls were structured but there was no window looking out. Nara was glad to see a sizable bed in the left corner and a door that led to a tiny bathroom. The lighting was harsh and when she sat down on the bed she found the bedding to be formless. But still, it was an improvement of the cell she had just been in.

Nara let out a sigh. She wondered where the girl was. There was a chance she was in the cell next to hers, but when she moved towards the door she found there was absolutely no way of looking out.

Her stomach began to rumble and her mouth was dry. With difficulty she moved through the cell, the ties around her wrists were beginning to hurt and still restricted her movement. Her elbow managed to open the door and with her mouth she opened the tap, letting the water flow out. Eagerly she began to drink it, not caring about it streaming all down the sides of her face, wetting her hair.

Nara's body tensed when she heard the door of her cell opening. She moved her mouth to her shoulder, wiping it before she went back.

Kylo was standing near to her bed, notably without his lightsaber. He still had his helmet on while he had removed the hood. It wasn't until now Nara could truly see the likeness in the shape of it in regards to Darth Vader's helmet. It was very clear to see where he had gotten his inspiration.

"Sit," he ordered. Kylo pointed towards the bed.

Nara lowered her eyes as she shuffled to the other side of the cell, sitting down. She wanted to cross her arms in front of her chest but it was impossible with her hands still tied to her back.

"What did you do to the girl?" Nara asked.

Kylo remained still, his fingers flexing every now and again.

"I thought you did not know the girl."

His mechanic voice felt so unfamiliar that it was hard to imagine it was truly Ben underneath the mask. It was almost as if he was hiding who he truly was. As if he needed to convince himself he no longer was Ben Solo.

"I don't."

"Then why do you care?"

Nara lifted her gaze, allowing them to meet his through his vizor.

"It's called empathy. You might want to try it some time."

A silence followed. His mask made it impossible to read any emotion on his face, which was probably the point of wearing it in the first place. Kylo started to pace around the room, his hands behind his back like Nara's.

"I do not understand why you are here," he mumbled, perhaps more to himself than to Nara. "Is this a test? Are you a test?"

"Ben," Nara sighed. "Please, untie me first, okay? Then we'll talk."

He considered her proposal and to her surprise he gave in. With just a few steps he stood besides her. Kylo moved down on one knee and leaned forward to undo the ties that bound her.

Nara shifted her body so it would be easier for him to untie her hands. Her heart pounded in her chest as butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She had all forgotten about the hunger she had earlier. This was the first time she had been so close to him in years.

She didn't dare to look up as his fingers fumbled behind her back. When he accidentally touched her wrists her back stiffened. His hands were surprisingly warm. For a person so cold she expected his fingers to feel the same.

Kylo remained down on one knee, his head low. She could hear him breathing through his mask.

Her hands rubbed the place on her wrists where the ties had been secured. She didn't know what to say to him, especially not now he was so close to her.

He raised his arm, an unexpected move which made Nara jump slightly. Kylo held his hand out in front of her face and she quickly realized what he was doing.

"No," she resisted, shaking her head. Nara didn't want him to read her mind, but she also didn't want him to see her beg.

"Why are you here," he repeated. "Did Leia Organa send you?"

The way he spoke of his mother made her angry. He made it seem as if she was just a random person who happened to stand in his way of getting what he wanted. Nara was scared he was seeing her like that as well. An object, simply waiting to be thrown away in the trash.

Her scalp began to tingle with pain as Kylo managed to force his way inside. Nara knew she wasn't strong enough to keep him out. The only thing left for her to try was think of the things he didn't want to see.

It took Nara all the strength she had to change her memories of the Resistance. She tried her best to recall the first time she had seen Ben. The first time they kissed. The visions were dull, but she hoped it would be enough to throw him off.

She forced her memory into her meeting Leia and Han. Her favorite memory of the two of them staying up all night. The first time they made love. And finally she managed to find the memory of Ben saying goodbye before he would leave to train with Luke.

As she went on, her memories became more vividly and she began to doubt whether Kylo was in still in her head.

Slowly, Nara opened her eyes again. She felt the sweat drip down the sides of her temples. A tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek.

Her breath got caught in her throat when she noticed Kylo had taken off his helmet and placed it besides her on the bed. She didn't allow his eyes to meet hers, as Nara first took in what she was seeing.

Beneath the mask was the man she knew. It was Ben. She recognized his jet-black hair that seemed to have grown longer since the last time she had seen him. She recognized his freckles and his goofy ears. What she didn't recognize was the expression in his eyes. It was as if he was rejecting her from his existence.

"Ben," she whispered, moving her head forward ever so slightly.

Nara didn't know if she could bring him back from the dark side, but she could try. She had nothing else to lose.

"Ben. Come home."

Another tear escaped from her eye. Without the mask it was very hard to envision this was the man who caused death and despair. This was supposed to be the new Darth Vader. But then why did he look so much like the man she loved?

Kylo raised his hand, his thumb finding the tear on her cheek. Nara's body tensed in surprise. She exhaled slowly as he wiped the tear away. His gaze seemed to soften as it never left hers.

For a moment they remained in the same position. Nara didn't dare to breathe, fearing she would ruin the moment. This was the closest she had gotten to seeing Ben, and not Kylo. This was the moment that gave her a newfound hope. Ben was still in there somewhere. Nara was witnessing it right this moment.

Kylo abruptly moved back. He pressed himself into the wall opposite from her, and Nara quickly moved her arms in front of her chest. He rested his hands besides her, the fingers of his sword hand flexing. Nara was very glad he hadn't taken it in here.

Whatever just had happened was not supposed to happen, she knew it and he knew it. Kylo Ren had let down his guard, and that was going to cost him.

"I'll see to it you'll get some food," he spoke, his voice low.

Nara couldn't help but notice how he wouldn't look at her.

* * *

 **A/N:** A little later than usual, but I managed to upload another chapter before the end of the day! I don't want to make any promises when I'll be able to upload the next one with the holidays and everything, but I'll do my best.

Thank you all for your lovely comments. As always, please let me know your thoughts.

Hopefully you all will have an amazing christmas :D Take care!


	8. Chapter VIII

_The water of the fountain pattered against the marble tiles in front of the Galactic Museum. Children splashed around in the puddles it left behind, laughing loud as they tried to get each other as wet as possible. Nara's eyes fell on their parents watching them contently. They were probably glad they had a moment to talk in silence and not having to pay constant attention to their children. Nara couldn't blame them. It was for the exact same reason that she came to this place. Peace and quiet._

 _Her eyes fell down to her book. It was a beautiful day on Coruscant which was a good change after all the bad weather they had had lately. Her skin soaked in the sun as if she had been living without it for weeks. Realizing she wasn't taking in anything she was reading Nara looked up again. The children were still playing, only standing still for one moment to look at a strange creature passing by. After all those years Nara had grown accustomed to it, but children didn't know where to look whenever one of the weirder species would appear._

 _Nara turned her head to her right, noticing a boy sitting not far away from her on another bench. She stretched her legs out in front of her as she placed her open book down on her stomach, promising herself she would read some more later._

 _Her eyes were glued to the boy. Something about him was very intriguing and she suddenly was very curious as to what he was doing here. He was hunched forward, his jet-black hair hanging in front of his eyes as he seemed to look at something intensely. Even though he was sitting down Nara could see he was tall._

 _Nara couldn't see what he was looking at yet she couldn't help wonder what he was doing and who he was. She came to the Galactic Museum often, reading in front of the plaza on her favorite bench which had the best view of the gardens and the building itself. It was her favorite place to relax and escape the madness. Nara liked to watch the people and others pass by. As a game to occupy her mind she always made up stories as to who they all were, but it was hard to come up with something for the boy she was seeing._

 _The children had stopped splashing around. Nara turned her head back to the boy, noticing he was still hunched forward. He removed his hand from his knee to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear._

 _Something in front of him seemed to move. It was a stick that had fallen out of the trees which grew around the fountain square. It was twitching, and then it shot away, straight into the hands of the boy._

 _Nara frowned in surprise as she looked around to see if anyone else had seen it happen, but it appeared she had been the only one who had witnessed the boy ordering the stick into his hand._

 _This couldn't be true, could it? She removed the book from her lap and placed it besides her. Whatever she just saw had to be a coincidence. Maybe she was daydreaming again and was seeing things that were really just in her head._

 _She held her breath as she waited patiently. Nara didn't want to believe anything until she saw him doing it again. If he couldn't, she would just forget this had ever happened and return to her reading._

 _The boy did it again, but now with a different twig. Her mouth slowly opened in shock. Was she seeing what she thought she was seeing?_

 _As fast as she could she placed her book in her bag and swung it over her shoulder as she raised from the bench. While she had seen many strange things in the past, this was too strange to ignore. Nara had to talk to him._

 _He looked up to her when she shuffled towards him, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she suddenly regretted the decision of coming over. What was she even going to say to him? She didn't know the guy at all. For all she knew he could be some Sith Lord._

 _"A normal person isn't supposed to be doing that," Nara said awkwardly, pointing towards the sticks he was holding._

 _The boy looked down to his hands, a puzzled look on his face as silence fell._

 _Nara bit her lip, regretting her words. That wasn't exactly as smooth. Her mind worked as she tried to think of something better to say._

 _"I mean, you know you're very special if you're able to do that, right?"_

 _The boy kept his gaze fixed on the sticks he had recovered from the dirt through telekinesis. Nara fumbled with the hem of her shirt. She wasn't exactly getting the response she had hoped for._

 _"Anyhow, you might want to be careful about doing this in public," Nara said. "You never know who might be watching."_

 _The boy looked up and Nara's heart skipped a beat when their eyes met. His dark eyes seemed to pierce through her, as if he was able to stare directly into her soul._

 _"Nobody but you was watching," he spoke confidently._

 _"You don't know who I am," Nara replied, cocking her eyebrow before adjusting the strap of her bag._

 _"Okay, true," the boy nodded. "You have a point there."_

 _A small smile unraveled on his lips. He threw the sticks in front of him, watching them as they landed on the marble tiles._

 _"I'm not a threat, if I made you worry," she spoke. Before continuing she shifted her weight from one leg to the other. "I'm Nara, by the way."_

 _The boy nodded softly in acknowledgement. Then he stood up, put out his arm and offered her his hand, which she took gratefully._

 _"Ben," he replied, before narrowing his eyes. "Do you come here often?"_

 _Nara nodded. "Yeah. I like the view."_

 _She looked around her. The Galactic Museum was cast in sunshine, creating harsh shadows on the exterior. It somehow made it more beautiful. The children playing and the rustling of the trees provided the perfect background noise. What was there not to love about this place?_

 _"I thought so," Ben spoke. "I've seen you here before. I remember you."_

 _Nara could feel her cheeks flushing red as her heart started to beat faster. She looked down to her hands before looking up again, lettering her gaze meet with his. He had remembered her? She couldn't recall seeing him before, but then again she often paid more attention to her book than to anyone else. What had she done that made her worth remembering?_

 _"Well…. Perhaps I can see you here again?" Nara offered, her voice hopeful._

* * *

 **A/N:** A short but sweet flashback! I didn't have a lot of time to write today because of Christmas, but I still wanted something to go up. Hopefully you all like it. I wanted it to be positive to continue the holiday cheer, haha. Next chapter will be in the present again, don't worry.

I am seeing TFA again tomorrow, so I expect I'll have lots of motivation and inspiration to write afterwards ;)

Hopefully you all had a really enjoyable Christmas! :D Take care and until next time!


	9. Chapter IX

It was impossible to sleep after everything that had happened. Nara tossed and turned throughout the night. The fact that the bed itself was as hard and uncomfortable as possibly could be didn't help either. She had taken off her orange jacket, folding it up so it could serve as a pillow. There was nothing she could use as a blanket, but it didn't matter anyway. Every time she closed her eyes she saw it in front of her again. The Hosnian system being destroyed. The bodies on Takodana. The way Kylo Ren slaughtered anyone in his path in cold blood. It was a lot to take in and it would take a little longer to process than one night.

Nara couldn't help but feel worried for the girl. Her identity was still unknown to her, but she couldn't shake off that feeling of recognition. She looked so much like someone she knew, or someone she used to know.

It was obvious she had something to do with BB-8 and the map that would lead to Luke. There was no other reason for Kylo to be so interested in her. Whatever was inside of her mind could be extremely valuable to him. Images of him forcing it out of her mind shot through her head. She imagined Kylo wouldn't be so gentle on her as he had been on Nara.

Sometimes she found herself dozing off, only to be awakened by her own nightmares minutes later. Without a window there was no way to look outside, and thus no way to guess what time it is. Minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days.

When the door of her cell finally slid open Nara felt like she had been awake for a couple of days. The food she had received the night before hadn't been truly plentiful, but she didn't dare to complain and hoped she would receive any form of breakfast later.

Nara pushed herself upwards on the bed. For some reason she had expected Kylo Ren to be the one to wake her, but someone else had appeared in her cell.

The man was dressed in a neat black uniform. His auburn hair was slicked back and his face was stern. Behind him stood two stormtroopers, both armed with a blaster.

"Take her," the uniformed man ordered.

Stormtroopers never had to be told twice. They moved past him and towards Nara, who quickly stood up to avoid them having to drag her off the bed. She didn't even had the time to rinse her mouth or go to the bathroom.

"Who are you?" she said, her voice hoarse from staying up the entire night.

Their fingers were rough as they grabbed her under both of her arms and brought her to the door.

"Bring her to holding room 334."

Nara swallowed. That didn't sound good. Whatever this holding room was, she was sure she wouldn't come out of it unharmed. Maybe she wouldn't come out of it at all.

She turned her head to look at the stormtroopers, trying to see if they would offer her any mercy. Their white helmets reflected in the light but neither of them would even look at her. Whoever was underneath the mask was very well trained or either too scared to disobey whoever that other guy was.

They took her to an even lower deck of the commanding shuttle. The lighting became darker and darker as they continued, the only thing illuminating their path was red neon light that was integrated in the walls. Nara was unsure if the lack of light was an intimidation tactic or not.

There was no point in fighting the stormtroopers. They held her tightly with one hand, holding their blaster in their other. If she could run she would be shot down in seconds and if she didn't get shot there would be stormtroopers waiting for at the other end of the corridor. Cooperating with everything they asked for her might be her only way of survival.

The holding room was a lot bigger than she expected. It was a dark open space with a chair with restraints in the center. The walls were similarly structured as in her cell and once again there were no windows looking out.

The stormtroopers strapped her in the chair. The restraints fitted tightly around her arms and legs, her skin tingling from the lack of blood circulation. The uniformed guy patiently watched the stormtroopers prepare her with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Nara had an idea what he was about to do, but she wanted to know a few things herself first. Before speaking she got her breathing under control. The chair she was in was impressive and intimidating, but she needed to remain calm and collected. She would get through this.

"Who are you?" she said, asking him the same question once again.

He waited until the stormtroopers were done and went to their posts on the opposite end of the entrance. Taking slow steps forward, he let out a sigh.

"I am General Hux," he said, his voice calm but strong.

Hux began to circle around her.

"You might be wondering why I have brought you here, but I think you will not be surprised to know I have a few questions I would like to ask to you."

Nara nodded. "I don't know much, but I can tell you what I know."

That was her first lie. She knew everything about the Resistance. Their location. Who was in charge. The size of their troops. How much the Resistance knew about the First Order.

"We are aware that you are with the Resistance. I mean how could we not?"

Hux looked down to her bright orange uniform. For a moment she had forgotten she had it on. Nara had to think of a cover up story quick if she wanted to make out of here without any injuries. Judging by the way they had strapped her in it had become apparent he would use any force necessary to get the information he wanted from her.

"What did you do, within the Resistance?"

"I was a correspondent for Hosnian Prime. Whenever something of importance happened I would let the capital know and vice versa."

Lie number two. She simply couldn't tell them how closely she worked with Leia.

Hux narrowed his eyes, considering her story. Nara tried her best to keep her expression as neutral as possible. She never really considered herself to be a good liar, but today she would find out how far she could go before they would hurt her.

"Did you work from the Resistance HQ?"

Nara's mind worked as fast as it could, considering whether or not she was going to say yes to this question. She could lie again, say she worked from the Hosnian system, but how was she going to explain her orange uniform? The First Order would know it belonged to Resistance fighters, so that answer wasn't an option.

"Yes," she replied while she tried to think of a planet that could suffice as the HQ while at the same time pose no threat to the real headquarters.

Hux stopped in front of her, his eyes locking onto hers as his gaze intensified.

"Where is it?"

Nara closed her eyes before she spoke, allowing herself a little more time to think of a good answer.

"It is in the Tion Cluster."

She had said the first thing that come to mind that sounded like it was far away from where they were. The galaxy was so big and held countless planets yet picking one in this moment proved to be extremely hard. Add to that the possibility of mispronouncing the name, Nara didn't have much to pick from.

"The Tion Cluster," Hux nodded. "Are you sure?"

Nara swallowed as she felt her cheeks reddening. They didn't believe her. It was obvious now she had picked the wrong planet.

"Such a strange planet for the Resistance to put its headquarters."

Hux began to circle around her again, his voice now louder than before.

"Especially since that cluster was affiliated with the Galactic Empire."

Nara's heart seemed to come to a stop. _The Galactic Empire_. Out of all the planets she could have picked.

"That's their strategy," she lied, trying her best to keep her voice sounding confident. "They are there where you wouldn't expect them to be."

Hux chuckled. "You are a very bad liar. The Resistance would never put its headquarters in the Tion Cluster. The New Republic has always shown little interest in the region, yet you claim that is exactly where they placed their headquarters? The inhabitants wouldn't allow it."

Nara's eyes followed him closely. Every time he appeared in front of her their eyes met. She had no idea what he was going to do next, but after lying to him she knew he wasn't going to let her lie again.

She had had only one chance to talk her way out of this and she had completely blew it.

Hux turned himself to his stormtroopers. "I think it is time we used another method to get the information we want, do you not agree?"

The stormtroopers nodded before one of them stepped forward and moved to the other end of the holding room. He pressed a button on the structured grey walls, revealing an opening out of which he took what looked like a metal suitcase. Nara didn't want to know what the inside contained.

And then the door opened.

Kyle Ren appeared in the doorway, wearing his usual attire which included his helmet. Nara's heart skipped a beat. After happened last night she never would imagine Kylo to be the one who would save her from this situation, yet here he appeared, like a knight in shining armor.

Nara held her breath as she waited for him to speak. She had already ruined too much by speaking, it was now somebody else's turn.

"Hux," he voice boomed. "I will take it from here."

"This is none of your business, Ren," Hux spoke annoyed as he tightly hung onto the suitcase he had recovered from the walls.

"It _is_ my business. She is my prisoner, is she not?"

Hux protested. "You may have captured her, but it is as much my privilege to interrogate her as it is yours."

Kyle took a step forward. He was just a few inches taller than Hux was, but that didn't seem to impress him much as he kept his ground.

"I got the information we needed from the other girl when you failed. I can get whatever we need from this one as well. Leave it to me."

Hux glanced from his suitcase, to Ren, to Nara. It took a few seconds before he finally gave in and handed it back to the stormtrooper who went on to place it back in the wall where it had come from.

"If you don't come up with anything useful I will finish this, Ren," he warned before motioning his stormtroopers to join him.

He shot Kylo one final annoyed glance before he opened the door and disappeared in the darkness of the hallway.

Nara felt like she could breathe again. She had just gotten out of a torture session by General Hux, and she had to give all the credit to Kylo Ren. While she hadn't forgotten the moment of intimacy she had shared the night before, an action of chivalry was the last thing she had expected of him.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, utterly confused by his actions.

Kylo took another step forward. He raised his arm and opened his hand, swiping once to remove the constraints around her limbs.

Nara looked down to her hands in confusion. What was this? What was happening? Was he breaking her out? Was Kylo Ren helping her escape?

"Ben? I don't understand. What is going on?"

"I felt a disturbance in the force. I have felt it ever since you've been here," he spoke, ignoring her comment. "Why are you here? I cannot figure it out. Are you a test? Have you been sent by Supreme Leader Snoke? Leia Organa?"

"Nobody sent me," Nara said.

Now she was free of her restraints she leaned forward. While Kylo saved her from Hux she didn't trust him enough to leave the holding chair. His lightsaber that hung from his belt hadn't gone unnoticed, and she didn't want him to use it on her. He had gained a reputation of being unpredictable and ruthless, and she wasn't going to test him.

"I came because I wanted to. You need to come back home, Ben. Everyone misses you. Your mother especially."

"Do not speak of her as my mother when we both know she is not," Kylo raised his voice.

Nara didn't think it was a coincidence he kept his helmet on when he spoke to her. The last time he had taken it off in her presence he had shown a part of him he should repress. His light side had come out, and that wasn't supposed to happen.

"She is your mother, Ben. You are her flesh and blood and no mask can change that."

Kylo shook his head, appearing he was convincing himself whatever Nara was saying wasn't true.

It was moments like this when she realized how far gone he was. Snoke had him completely in his power. He had convinced him that the dark side was the only way to live. That he should fulfill Darth Vader's destiny as his grandson. Whatever he had said to him Nara was trying her best to undo, but even though she hadn't expected it to come easy, it was even harder than she thought.

He then placed his hand on her shoulder. Nara's body tensed in surprise as her eyes went from his hand to his eyes. She couldn't see through his visor, but she knew he was also looking at her.

"You should stay here. Stay with me."

Nara closed her eyes as she let out a sigh. Was she hearing this correctly? While butterflies began to flutter in her stomach they were there for the wrong reason.

"Why?" she scoffed. "So you can take me down to the dark side? I don't think so."

His grip on her shoulder intensified. "You do not know its powers, Nara. It can give you everything the light side cannot. If you stay, we can be together again. I know this is why you are here. I have to convince you to stay."

Nara couldn't believe what she was hearing. He was completely delusional as to even think she would consider doing this. She loved Ben with all her heart, but she didn't love Kylo.

"I can't, Ben. You know that and I know it. The dark side is not the way I want to live my life. I fight with the Resistance, for crying out loud. I will not turn on them."

"Then you will turn on me."

He released his grip and swung around, his cape flowing behind him. Nara could see he was flexing his right hand, the hand in which he held his lightsaber.

"I will turn on Kylo Ren, yes. But I have come here for Ben Solo, and it appears he is not here."

A silence followed. Nara kept a close watch on his lightsaber. If the tales of his explosive behavior were true she didn't want to witness it.

"What will you tell Hux?" she spoke carefully after he seemed to fail to give any response.

"Whatever I want to tell him."

Nara nodded even though he had his back towards him.

"Are you going to keep me here?"

"Yes," Kylo replied.

"For how long?"

He turned around again. The mask altered his voice in such a way it was impossible to hear any emotion or changes in tone. She had no idea what he was feeling underneath, no idea how he was going to respond or what he was about to do.

"For as long as is necessary."

* * *

 **A/N:** I saw TFA again today! I loved seeing it a second time and being able to pay attention to the little details. Obviously my love for Kylo Ren only became bigger and I cannot wait to continue this series. It seriously brings me so much joy to know so many people are enjoying this. I have received several personal messages telling me how much they like it and I just want to thank you all for supporting me.

Now onto some bad news. Remember a few chapters back I talked about some user spreading hate about this fic and other Kylo Ren stories? Well, this person hasn't stopped. In the beginning I thought it was kind of funny and didn't think much about it. Now it appears this person is making up lies about me personally (apparently I messaged them about me wanting to quit this story which is UNTRUE) and that is where I draw the line. I have since blocked this user although I don't expect this is where it will end. I have honestly never received hate in any other fandom before, so this came as quite a surprise.

I want to personally ask you all to PLEASE ignore the user by the name of _notanakin._ They change their name often so please just do not respond to any hate you might see that looks similar. They thrive off the replies of you trying to defend me and the other writers. If we stop to pay attention to them the fun will eventually wear off. Please please please **ignore** this person and the hate will stop. By no means have their comments affected my writing. I want to continue this fic and I am not stopping anytime soon. If you happen to see any hate anywhere else by another user just don't comment and report them and let me know so I can block them if necessary. That's the only way we'll win.

Anyhow. There will probably no chapter up tomorrow since it is my birthday tomorrow! I'll be celebrating it throughout the day so I might write if I get the chance but let's just assume I will not have the time to avoid any disappointment. I will OF COURSE be back the day after, I promise you that!

As always, please leave a comment with your thoughts and take care 3


	10. Chapter X

Kylo had bound her again for the sake of appearance when he had brought her back to her cell. They walked in silence, Nara's skin burning where he had his fingers wrapped around her arm. She wondered what he was going to tell Hux. If he didn't give him something worthwhile she would be back in that room in only a matter of time, and this time Kylo wouldn't be able to stop him.

Nara couldn't deny the tension between them as he opened cell for her, pushing her in before undoing her restraints.

He remained standing in the doorway as if he was hesitating to speak. His words went through Nara's mind until she had grown numb. It was hard to believe he had asked her to join him, yet on the other hand she wasn't surprised. Snoke had brainwashed him into believing the dark side was the best way to live. He had probably also told Kylo he needed to convert as many people as he could. Who was a better place to start than Nara?

Finally he took a step back and closed the cell door, leaving Nara in the darkness as it took a few seconds for the lights to switch on. Nara turned around and wrapped her arms around herself. It had grown cold in the time she had been absent. She shuffled to her bed and put on her jacket that had sufficed as a pillow. If it remained like this she had to do without it tonight.

Now she was alone with her thoughts she was finally free to be able to think what she wanted to. Last night she had definitely seen Ben Solo again, but what Kylo asked her today was something Ben would never ask of her. Even though Nara knew what he desired of her was never going to happen, she felt torn.

Nara suddenly realized what Kylo had meant earlier. He would keep her here as long as was necessary to convince her to join him. She would stay until she would switch sides. There was nothing more she wanted than having Ben back. If what she saw last night would become a regular occurrence whenever she was alone with him, switching sides might not be so bad…

"NO," Nara told herself angrily.

This wasn't even a choice between light and dark. This was a choice between having Ben back in some shape or form and losing him. If she were to stay with him she would betray everyone she knew. What would Poe think of her? Leia? All the other fighters? They have fought this war together and she was going to end it with the Resistance.

Joining Kylo would not only make her a traitor, it would make her as worse as he is. She would turn her back on everyone she loved. The First Order had killed many innocent people, how could she justify that?

Nara was left alone for the remainder of the day except for two times when they had brought her food. It wasn't much more than a few pieces of stale flatbread, but it was more than enough to satisfy her hunger.

When her body had grown tired Nara turned to her bed. She kept on her jacket for shelter against the cold, but without a pillow her neck soon felt soar. There was still no way to figure out the time, which was taking a harder toll on her than she had expected. Whenever she closed her eyes for five minutes it felt like she had been asleep for hours. It became harder and harder to guess how long exactly she had been here.

Nara woke up abruptly when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her body shocked as she opened her eyes and pushed herself backwards against the wall. She let out a sigh when she saw it was only Kylo.

"I thought they were going to interrogate me again," she spoke, rubbing the sleep from her eyes before wiping her hair out of her face.

"I took care of that," Kylo spoke calmly.

It wasn't until her eyes met with his she realized he wasn't wearing his mask. He had his hair tucked behind his ears and his freckles were faintly noticeable in the light of her cell. Nara couldn't help but see how tired he looked.

"It is the middle of the night," she said, even though she had no idea if that was true at all. "What are you doing here?"

Kylo was sitting on her bed. He kept his hands in his lap but whenever his fingers flexed Nara felt like he was resisting the urge to touch her.

"When you returned," he began. The uneasy tone to his voice could clearly be heard. His brows ruffled as he continued.

"I felt something inside of me. Like I was whole again. I hadn't seen you in so long I forgot how much I had missed you."

His eyes locked on hers, making the butterflies in her stomach flutter as her heart seemed to leap out of her chest. Under different circumstances this was exactly what she wanted to hear. But considering Nara was Kylo's prisoner she didn't entirely know what to make of it.

"Is that Kylo speaking, or Ben?" Nara asked.

He grabbed her hands. She looked down to see how his fingers perfectly intertwined with hers before she let her gaze meet with his again.

It was obvious her words had confused him. Kylo looked into her eyes as if he was trying to find the answer within.

"With you here. I'm being torn apart now more than ever. The Supreme Leader told me I should resist all the urges you are giving me, but how can I?"

Nara smiled apologetically. She had no idea how he had to be feeling right now, but she could imagine it was extremely hard on him. While she was pulling him in one direction, Snoke was pulling him towards the other. Kylo had to choose between her and whatever Snoke had convinced him. Love or destiny.

"You do not have to choose," she spoke. "Come with me. Come home. You do not belong here."

Her other hand cupped his cheek. Kylo closed his eyes as her fingers touched his skin.

"We'll run away. Go somewhere where they can't find us. Put down your lightsaber and come back."

"I can't," Kylo whispered. "I have done too much to return. It's too late."

"No," Nara said, lowering her voice to a point where her words were barely audible.

The moment she had said goodbye to Ben to train with Luke was the moment she had felt something was wrong. The way he had been so torn up about them having to say farewell had surprised her. Nara had promised him she would come to visit, even though it was against the rules. It was as if he had said goodbye knowing what he was going to do while training with Luke. He had purposely said farewell, knowing that was the last time they would ever see each other in the same light again.

She leaned forward, her forehead resting against his as she tried to control her breathing. Nara felt so drawn to him, so ready to help him return home with her. The fact that he obviously cared deeply about her made it al even harder. She knew he had different intentions than she had, yet for a moment it didn't matter. All she wanted was to have Ben back and right in this moment this was the closest she was going to get.

The lighting around them seemed to dim as Kylo moved closer. Nara could feel his breath on her skin. She had a feeling about what was going to happen, but she didn't have the strength in her to stop it. Denying she also wanted this would be like lying. She wanted this as much as Kylo wanted it.

His lips met with hers. Tingles shot through her body as she felt her heartbeat increase. He tasted exactly like she had remembered and for a moment she was transported back in time.

Both of her hands cupped his cheeks as the kiss intensified. Kylo rested his body on one hand while his other found the back of her neck. His fingers moved up through her hair.

Nara pulled her head back as she tried to catch her breath. She had waited so long for him she could hardly control herself.

Without thinking she wrapped her arms around his neck as she let her lips crash against his again. If anyone were to see them in this moment she was doomed, but there was nothing else she could think about than having Ben back again.

It was Kylo who broke off the kiss, a small smile playing on his lips. He remained his head close to hers, his hand still resting on the back of her neck.

"I want to show you something."

Nara nodded and took Kylo's hand as he helped her off the bed. He then opened the door of her cell, leading her out.

She stopped in her tracks, looking down to her hands. This was the first time she would leave her cell without restraints and suddenly she began to wonder if this would be the time to escape.

Without saying anything about not being bound Nara followed him through his shuttle. They went up a couple of decks, surprisingly not passing any stormtroopers on the way. She figured Kylo told them all to stay away so he could take her anywhere he wanted without getting strange looks.

They turned a corner into a corridor. Nara tried her best to remember everything she was seeing, in case it might turn out handy when she would need to get out of here. She was still holding onto the idea the Resistance might come back for her, and for the other girl.

Nara didn't dare to ask about her. The way Kylo's mood seemed to worsen every time she brought it up made her avoid it. There was no denying she was still very interested as to who exactly she was, and more importantly, as to what she knew about BB-8 and the map.

All the corridors and hallways looked so alike it was hard to keep track. Kylo navigated the shuttle like the back of hand and was walking with purpose. He was bringing her somewhere specific.

They stopped in front of a door that looked as generic as the rest. Kylo swiped his hand in front of the door and it opened without hesitation. He let go of Nara's hand entered the room first, looking back over his shoulder to await her response.

Nara took slow steps inside, unsure what she might find within. The room was circular yet had the same structured walls her own cell had. The lighting cast a red glow over everything that stood inside. In the back she spotted his lightsaber resting on what looked like a metal block. She knew he would be able to call it by just putting out his hand.

Her eyes scanned the room. Apart from a chair in the middle it seemed to be empty. She circled around it, her fingers feeling the fabric of it. When she laid her gaze on what stood in front of the chair her body froze and her heartbeat seemed to stop.

It was Darth Vader's mask, burned and melted by fire. It was placed upon what looked like a austere altar.

"What is that," Nara said, furrowing her brows as she took a slow step back. She knew perfectly well what is was, but she wanted hear Kylo say it.

"It is my grandfather's mask."

He came to stand behind her so that his chest touched her back. Nara wrapped her arms in front of her. This was not what she wanted to see. She did not want to know he had this in his possession. Everything that she was led to believe earlier had been an obvious lie. She hadn't been kissing Ben, it had been Kylo through and through.

"What is it doing here?"

She felt his hands on her shoulders. Nara couldn't keep her eyes off the mask. The way he had displayed it here obviously was for a purpose. It was as this room was the room he could come to when he needed to talk to his grandfather. Darth Vader.

"Supreme Leader Snoke retrieved it and gave it to me. I need to finish what he started, I hope you can understand that, Nara."

She spun on her heel so she could face him.

"No, I don't. You don't have to finish anything. Whatever Darth Vader has done is in the past. Snoke is only using your ties to him as a way to lure you over to the dark side."

Kylo closed his eyes. Nara didn't know whether he was taking in her words, considering their meaning, or rejecting them.

The reason for bringing her had become obvious the moment she het set eyes on the mask. It was another attempt to seduce her in staying here. Nara began to doubt their kiss had meant anything. It was probably just another method of trying to win her over, and he almost had done it.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you so much for all your birthday wishes! I had a lovely day, but I couldn't wait to get writing again. As you can imagine I had a lot of fun with this chapter. Hopefully you all enjoyed it just as much. I will try to do my best to upload as often as possible but I have a lot of work commitments this week so I can't promise I'll update daily (I'll do my best, though!).

I have had several comments asking me to put my story on wattpad. I am unfamiliar with this website but if this is what more people want to see I will definitely consider it. I have no idea if I can also put stories on there which are still in progress like they are on this website. Please let me know if this is something you want.

Finally I have another request for you guys. I'm struggling with trying to think of continuing plot lines for this story that make sense, mainly after the final battle between Rey and Kylo where they get separated in the end. How would you guys like to see me resolve this? All suggestions are welcome and will be taken into consideration! I am writing this story not only for myself, but also for you guys so I want to make it as enjoyable as possible.

As always leave a comment with your thoughts and I will hopefully see you all again tomorrow. Take care 3


	11. Chapter XI

Nara felt betrayed. She thought their kiss was supposed to mean something, but she realized it had never meant more than another tactic to get her to join him. She didn't deny Kylo still cared for her, but he cared for her for the wrong reasons. What he was asking of her was impossible and no amount of kissing would make her change her mind.

She was glad to be back in her cell by herself. Every second out there felt like a struggle between doing what was right and doing what she wanted. Of course she wanted to be with Ben, yet if the dark side was part of the deal she didn't want to have any of it.

Slowly she began to understand Kylo's struggle with the dark side and the light side. He was putting her through the same thing he was going through, except they were at opposite ends. He had to resist the light while she had to resist the dark.

It hadn't taken long before her cell door opened again. Nara didn't know who to expect anymore. This place and the people running it kept on surprising her. Stormtroopers appeared in the doorway. One of them told her they had arrived, but when she asked where they wouldn't give her an answer.

They took her from her cell onto a docking station. It appeared they were heading off the commanding shuttle and onto something else. Nara tried her best to see, but they were headed straight inside another structure again. Was this another ship?

"Where are we?" she asked again as she looked around. Wherever she was, the scale of it all was a lot bigger than she had been used to so far.

To her surprise a stormtrooper asnwered.

"This is Starkiller Base."

Nara frowned, the name faintly ringing a bell somewhere. Then she remembered how Leia showed her once the scale of the so-called new Death Star. It was supposedly much bigger than the last one had been, and carried a weapon of mass destruction inside. She was fairly sure that was the place she just set her foot on. This was the place from which they destroyed Hosnian system.

They had brought her to another cell. This one was much better equipped than the last one and it was obvious this cell was intended for longterm use. Nara was mostly glad to see the bed was halfway decent. At least she now had a pillow and a blanket to sleep under.

The biggest improvement of all was the fact this cell had a window. Nara shuffled closer, almost pressing her nose against the glass. It had been some time since she had seen the outside world, or anything else than the commanding shuttle for that matter. Yet the view was something else than she expected.

She saw trees, lots of them, covered in snow. In the far distance she saw another building and when she squeezed her eyes together she saw stormtroopers training on the grounds. Nara took in a deep breath as if she was breathing in the fresh air from outside. What she would do to roll around in the snow and feel the light of the sun on her skin.

When she was satisfied with taking in the view Nara turned to her bed. She took the blanket and wrapped herself in it, sheltering herself from the outside world. If only she could catch some sleep maybe she could think straight again and make some sense of everything Kylo was doing.

Nara awoke abruptly when the door of her cell opened. It slid open with far more noise than the one back on the commanding shuttle. Judging by the mess that had become of her hair she had been asleep for quite some time.

When she turned her head to see she saw Hux standing in her cell. Her heart skipped a beat as she quickly pressed herself against the wall, but the stormtroopers were already edging forward. They grabbed her and forced her on her knees. They secured her arms tightly and pulled her up again, dragging her with them as they left the cell.

Hux didn't speak, but the way they handled her with force didn't look good.

Whatever Kylo had told them, it obviously hadn't been enough to convince Hux. Nara didn't even know what he had made up to protect her so she figured it would be best to keep her own mouth shut until he would come to her. She would make up whatever was necessary but first she needed to know exactly what lies Kylo had fed Hux.

The interior of Starkiller Base confused her. They passed doors, hallways and what looked like other cells, but they didn't stop or inform her of where they were going.

It was the first time she dared to open her mouth since they had taken her. The way they continued their path through the base proved they were planning something different for her, and Nara needed to know what.

"Where are you taking me?" she spoke, her voice ragged.

Hux didn't reply and kept walking behind her, his arms stiffly hanging by his side.

She was escorted by no less than six stormtroopers and they were all armed. Whatever they were going to do, they obviously thought of her as a threat.

Nara's heart stood still when she realized where they were taking her. They were taking her back onto the commanding shuttle. She recalled the docking station, and even though most of the hallways on the commanding shuttle looked alike she recognized this one because she had been here before. They were going back to Kylo's room.

This wasn't an interrogation. This was something else. Why would Kylo bring her to that room the same day Hux was also taking her? Nara had no clue anymore about what was going on.

Kylo was seated in his chair when she entered. She could see how transfixed he was with the Darth Vader mask, leaning forward while resting his head in the palm of his hand. He was wearing his own mask, a sign he was hiding whatever he was feeling underneath.

"Ben," she hissed when the stormtroopers again forced her on her knees. They didn't take off the restraints around her wrists.

He turned and his body seemed to freeze when he saw her, as if he also didn't know what was going to happen. His fingers grabbed the lightsaber hanging from his belt, yet he didn't ignite it. Instead he waited for Hux to explain what was going on.

"You know she has to go, Ren," Hux said. He circled around Nara so he came to stand beside Kylo, opposite from her. "Kill her and you'll be free."

They had seen them together. How could Kylo have been so stupid to forget every single corridor, room and inch of this place was monitored. Had he been so distracted by Nara he had forgotten to turn off all surveillance, or did he want this to happen?

"The Supreme Leader wants you to do this," Hux said, his voice as calm as always. "Your grandfather wants you to do this."

Nara's breathing intensified. Her chest heaved up and down as she tried to come to terms with the fact that this might be the last seconds she would be alive.

"Ben," she spoke. "Don't listen to him. You do not have to do this."

She could hear him sigh through his mask. Nara kept a close watch on him as he flexed his fingers around his lightsaber one time before it ignited. A red beam shot out of the hilt before it was joined by two others at the side.

Her body became rigid and she didn't dare to move. Out of all the ways she could die, at least this one would be quick.

Nara closed her eyes as Kylo brought the tip of the lightsaber to her shoulder. It hovered only inches away from her face, the hum making her ears ring. She could feel the instability of it as the force made her skin tingle.

"Don't do this, Ben," she spoke. "Kylo. Please."

She had no idea how to address him anymore. He seemed to fail to respond to any of his names.

The tone of his voice through the mask surprised her. Nara's body jumped slightly when he began to speak. The lightsaber seemed to inch away from her face just a bit, yet he could still kill her within a mere second.

"I can still convince her," he spoke to Hux. "The Supreme Leader doesn't know her like I do. I can make her turn over to the dark side."

"She is not force sensitive," Hux replied. "She's a Resistance fighter. I do not see why she would join you, Ren."

"I need more time," Kylo said. "I can convince her, I am sure of it. It took the Supreme Leader some time to convince me as well. I just need some more time. If I can't turn her after that I will kill her personally."

Hux remained silent, but Nara didn't dare to turn her head to see what he was doing, not with this lightsaber so close to her face. Her eyes glided over the stormtroopers in front of her. How was every single one of them so obedient to their leaders?

The door suddenly slid open, another stormtrooper appearing in the doorway.

"Sir? The girl," he spoke. Nara could hear he was nervous. "She's gone."

The lightsaber moved away from her head. Nara leaned forward, as she tried to regain control over her breath. She had been so close to being killed she had trouble to apprehend it. Kylo had saved her. Kylo had saved her again.

"Take her back to her cell," Hux spoke sternly to the stormtroopers who had taken her here.

Both him and Kylo strode out of the room. He didn't even look at her as he left the room, his rage leading him on. There were only two stormtroopers left to escort her back, as the attention suddenly went to the girl. How important Nara might be to Kylo, she would never be more important than whatever information the girl held.

All troops seemed to be on high alert. Every stormtrooper she passed on her way back to her cell was either holding their weapon tightly or running to the opposite direction of where they had come from.

Soon the corridors of the base were deserted. They were almost back to her new cell and no one had paid any attention to her on the way. Nara knew she wasn't a priority anymore, and for the moment being that felt incredibly relieving. She had cheated death today, and even though she didn't want to give that credit to Kylo she had to.

After seeing Darth Vader's mask she couldn't make any excuses anymore. He was pushing himself to the dark side, and he was trying his best to pull her with him. Ben wasn't returning anytime soon.

Nara's thoughts were disrupted when she was launched forward by an explosion behind her. She landed face down as she couldn't break the fall because of her restraints. Grunting in pain, she rolled on her back. She thought she heard something roar, but the blast of the explosion made her ears ring.

Smoke temporarily filled the corridor. Nara coughed as she tried to get up, but it was proving to be harder than she expected without the use of her arms. Whoever had taken that shot had aimed at the stormtroopers. Looking over her shoulder she noted they remained on the ground. They were either dead or unconscious.

"You okay, kid?"

The smoke clear and someone had knelt down besides her.

"Han?!" Nara spoke in disbelief. Was this some kind of poisonous gas that made her hallucinate?

Chewbacca roared.

"The one and only," he smiled. He slipped a knife from his belt and moved behind Nara to undo her ties.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nara said, rubbing her wrists before immediately pushing herself upwards.

"We've come to break you out."

She felt Chewie's hand on her shoulder. He roared gently as he give her a little shake of acknowledgement.

"You've come for the girl," Nara said. She knew she wasn't their priority but it didn't matter. They had gotten her. Han always had a thing for perfect timing.

"Yeah, true," Han nodded. "But did you think I could leave this place without taking you with me?"

Nara shook her head in disbelief. This was absolutely the last thing she expected to happen. It had been a very long time since she had seen him. After Ben called the Knights of Ren into being Han left, breaking Leia's heart like Ben had broken hers.

Her eyes fell on another person that stood besides Chewbacca. A feeling of recognition washed over her, and then she suddenly remembered seeing him on Takodana. He had been the boy running towards the commanding shuttle. But that wasn't the only thing about him she recognized.

"Is that Poe's jacket?!"

She took a step forward, feeling the fabric under her fingers.

"It is," the boy nodded. "He gave it to me."

Nara frowned. "He must really like you. He would never give his beloved jacket to just anyone."

Han grabbed her by her arm as he pulled her away.

"We don't have time for any small talk. We have to find Rey before it's too late."

 _Rey_. So that was her name. It felt good finally putting a name to her face. Nara admired her bravery. She had escaped all by herself, and that looks some guts in this place.

"I'm Finn, by the way," the boy said as the made their way through the hallway.

"Are you Poe's stormtrooper?" Nara asked. She cocked her eyebrow.

Finn nodded before giving Han some directions as to were Rey might be.

"So how did you and Han meet?"

She couldn't help but ask questions. Even though some of the puzzle pieces were starting to fall into place, there was still so much she didn't understand.

"We were flying in the Falcon and then he found us."

Nara stopped in her tracks. "You were flying in the _Millennium Falcon?_ That thing still flies?"

Han turned around and shot her a warning look.

"If you two could please stop talking and focus on finding Rey."

Chewie moved past her, holding his crossbow tightly. He gave her a wink and she couldn't help but smile faintly.

Even though she felt eternally grateful for them rescuing her and she knew their objective right now was finding Rey, Nara couldn't help but really wanting to speak to Han alone. She had seen his son. She spent time with him, seen what he was truly like. Nara needed to share everything she had been through with Han. He had the right to know that his son was a lost case.

"Look, Solo," Finn spoke as the continued their path. "We need to come up with a plan. Sooner or later we'll walk right into Ren and it'll be over."

Han raised his hand, motioning them to stop.

"No need. She's right there."

Nara looked past hem and saw Rey on the other side of the base, hanging onto the wall of what looked like a huge gulf heading down to the center of the planet. She swallowed as she watched Rey move to the top, climbing onto the surface as soon as the stormtroopers weren't looking.

"Let's get our girl," Han spoke.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you all for your kind suggestions! I have taken them into account and I think I have figured out a plot line for the rest of this fic that could work. I hope it's going to surprise some of you ;)

This chapter is the first step in bringing everything (and everyone) together. I had A LOT of fun writing Han. He is the best character ever, you can't convince me otherwise.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know your thoughts. I would love to read what you thought about Kylo and Hux, but also about Han and the rest of them entering the story. I'll see you again soon! Take care 3

 _On a side note, I wanted to put the story on wattpad but it appeared the site was undergoing maintenance so I'll try again some other time._


	12. Chapter XII

_Nara placed her hand on the back of the pilots seat and leaned forward as she squinted her eyes together._

 _"What planet is this?" she asked._

 _"It is better if you don't know," Han Solo spoke. Chewbacca roared in agreement._

 _They could withhold the name of the planet, but they couldn't disallow her to see it. The Falcon edged through its atmosphere, lowering its speed as it was about to land near the edge of a lake. Half of the globe was covered by bodies of water ranging from small lakes to what looked like oceans. The rest of it was covered in mountainous regions with their peaks capped with snow. The temperature was a lot lower than at home, but Han had prepared her for it and had instructed her to bring an extra coat._

 _"Does Luke know we're coming?" Nara asked, her heart pounding as she watched the Falcon come to a halt._

 _"Of course not" Han spoke before climbing out of his seat._

 _Wind blew through Nara's hair as they exited the Falcon. It was good to breathe in the fresh air again. She looked around, taking in the nature surrounding her. Luke couldn't have picked a more beautiful place in the galaxy to train his young padawans._

 _Han and Chewie began to walk. Nara quickened her pace to follow them. She hadn't quite come to grips with the fact she was going to Ben today. It had been some time since his departure. She couldn't wait to see him and hear all about their stories he had._

 _Technically Jedi's weren't supposed to have a relationship, but Ben was never one to stick to the rules. He took after his father in that way. Nara had come to him with the suggestion that perhaps he could sneak her in. His face had lit up at the suggestion of doing something illegal._

 _Leia didn't know they were here. Nara didn't know what Han had told her, but it was for the best if she didn't know they were about to disrupt Ben's training. He wasn't supposed to see anyone during his time here, but Nara couldn't wait so long to see him again._

 _"So what's the plan," Nara said as she followed Han and Chewie as closely as possible._

 _She had spotted some buildings and structures when they were still flying, but on the ground she could see nothing but trees and mountains. Han seemed to walk with purpose, so she figured he had an idea of what they were doing._

 _"There is no plan."_

 _Nara halted in her tracks, cocking her eyebrow._

 _"What do you mean? I thought you've done this before?"_

 _Han turned around and apologetically lifted up his hands. "There's a first for everything."_

 _Nara sighed and jogged to cover the distance between them. How had she expected anything less. Han wasn't really the planning guy. He made up everything as he went along, and today was no exception._

 _"Do you even know where Ben is staying?"_

 _She kept her eyes fixed on the uneven terrain so she wouldn't trip over any tree roots sticking out. It was indeed a lot colder than it was back at home, but it also felt refreshing in a way._

 _"My guess is up there."_

 _Han stopped and pointed towards a wooden structure at the side of the mountain. It looked like it emerged from the stone, supported only by heavy wooden beams. It had several separate levels and covered walkways connected all the rooms together. From one of the chimney stacks she saw smoke rising._

 _Nara sighed. Of course Luke was going to make it harder and put it up there. The only way up was by hundreds of small steps. However, if they brought the Falcon close enough they could never make their way in unnoticed. The only way up was by those steps._

 _"Are you coming?" she asked when she realized no one was following her. Nara had already set her foot on the first step, mentally preparing herself the struggle that was ahead._

 _Han smiled and shook his head. "I'll let you see him first. It was your idea."_

 _Nara cocked her head slightly to the right. She understood why he would want to give them some privacy, but he could at least come up with her. She was sure Ben would be dying to see his father._

 _"Are you sure?" she asked to be safe, but when Han nodded and gave her some final instructions as to where Ben could possibly be, she spun on her heel. She had a lot of climbing to do._

 _When she finally reached the top Nara was completely out of breath. Even though the planet was colder than she was used to, she had taken off her jacket, holding it as she went along. The wind felt cool on her skin as she looked to see if anyone was there, but the outside of the structure appeared to be deserted._

 _Nara wanted nothing more than to sit down for just a few minutes to regain her breath and maybe mentally prepare herself for who she was about to meet. However, there was no time to do so. Han and Chewie were waiting for her at the bottom of the steps and she didn't want to take too long._

 _Han had told her Ben's living quarters was supposed to be one level up from where the steps had led to. She was dreading having to climb another flight of stairs, but when she thought of Ben waiting at the top she found new motivation and energy._

 _The next level led to a separate building with two doors. She had no idea which one to take but when she looked down to try to see if Han could guide her from below she could see nothing but trees. The Falcon had been hidden well._

 _In her mind she doubted between which one she would choose, eventually, after much debate, she went for the left one. It opened to a long hallway with many doors. Nara let out a sigh. There was no way she could check each and every one of them without being detected._

 _She began to wonder what Luke would actually do to her if she would be discovered, but then she realized that Ben would probably be punished more heavily, and she suddenly regretted her decision of coming here._

 _She walked past the first door. Nara pressed her ear against it, but she heard no sound coming from inside. Taking her chances she skipped this door and went to the next to do the same._

 _Nara shrieked when the door all of a sudden opened and she fell inside sideways._

 _Surprised by her own reaction she placed her hands over her mouth. Her eyes fell on a boy taller than she was standing in front of her. He was wearing a beige robe and had the hood pulled over his face._

 _She cursed under her breath as she scrambled on her feet. This wasn't going exactly the way she had planned it to go, and she could only hope whoever had found her was going to be kind on her and let her go without notifying anyone else._

 _"Nara?" the boy in the robe spoke._

 _His fingers found his hood and he let it drop behind him, revealing his face. The jet-black hair that covered his head couldn't belong to anyone else._

 _"BEN!" Nara replied as she jumped forward and wrapped her arms around her neck._

 _She didn't know what the chances were of her leaning against the right door, but she didn't care. She had found him without being detected, and that was all that mattered._

 _Ben's hands slid from her waist to the small of her back as he buried his face in her neck. Nara noted he still smelled the same as before and she was immediately met with a feeling of familiarity. The only thing changed about him was that she could've sworn he had grown a few inches since the last time she had seen him._

 _"I can't believe you are here?!" Ben said as he kept her tightly pressed against his body. "How did you do it?"_

 _"Your father took me here."_

 _He released her from his grip while his hands remained resting on her waist._

 _"He is here?" he asked, cocking one eyebrow._

 _"Yes," Nara nodded, quite confused by his cold response. "He's waiting by the Falcon. Who else would be so insane as to take me here."_

 _"Okay, point taken," Ben nodded._

 _Nara smiled widely and took a step back as she let her gaze slide over Ben's body. It was obvious Luke was taking good care of him. He looked well rested and appeared to have put some muscle over the time she had last seen him. Maybe that would explain why he had appeared taller than she remembered._

 _"You look good, Ben. Being a Jedi suits you well."_

 _He turned his eyes away from her as he smiled shyly._

 _"I've missed you," he spoke, lifting his gaze again to meet hers._

 _Nara shrugged, a smile playing on her lips. "You should."_

 _Ben then quickly recovered and straightened his face. His red cheeks disappeared and returned was a cold glance._

 _"I'm not a Jedi yet, though," he spoke as he looked past Nara into the distance._

 _She wasn't sure why he wouldn't look her in her eyes._

 _"Luke said it'll take a lot more training."_

 _"Have patience, Ben," Nara replied, but she knew he didn't like to wait. He had always been so impatient, rarely finishing anything he started. Everything had to happen quickly or he lost interest._

 _Her eyes fell on something in the back of this room. It looked like a workbench with scattered tools she didn't recognize laying on top._

 _"Are you making something?" she said, shuffling closer to see what Ben was working on._

 _His eyes began to twinkle when he saw what she was referring to. Ben followed her to the workbench, standing closely behind her before he spoke._

 _"It is my lightsaber," he spoke. "It's still a work in process, as you can probably see."_

 _The lightsaber was crudely constructed. It was dark, with exposed wires around the hilt. What struck her most was the fact it didn't look like a traditional lightsaber she knew from the books she had read._

 _Nara raised her hands to touch it, but when her fingers hovered above it she didn't dare to let it come into contact. It was as if some kind of force was making sure she couldn't get any closer._

 _"What are those for?" she asked, pointing to two lateral vents at the side of the hilt._

 _"I designed it differently from the traditional design," Ben explained. "It's going to be cross guarded, to protect —"_

 _"Your hands," Nara finished._

 _Ben nodded._

 _It was a clever design, yet she couldn't help but wonder if Luke was going to appreciate a lightsaber like this. He always struck her as a man that held onto traditions. She wondered what his thoughts on it were._

 _"It's a still unfinished. I need a crystal powerful enough for the plasma blades, and some more structuring work needs to be done._

 _Nara's eyes scanned the lightsaber once more. She had no idea Ben was so skilled. As far as she could recall she had never seen him work on something like this before._

 _She heard footsteps down the hall, followed by muffled voices._

 _Ben had heard it as well. He came to stand beside her, turning himself to face Nara._

 _"You should go," he spoke. "I'll get you out of here."_

 _He spun on his heel and grabbed a similar robe to the one he was wearing from his bed._

 _"Take this. Put it on."_

 _Nara nodded and took the robe. She quickly slipped it over her jacket. Ben's fingers found the hood and pulled it over her head. Next he took her hand and led her out of his room. They retraced the steps Nara had taken earlier, going back outside._

 _He stopped in front of the stairs leading back down to the lake._

 _"Your father is waiting down there," Nara said, slightly out of breath. "Are you sure you don't want to see him?"_

 _Ben shook his head. "There is no time."_

 _He took a step forward before pulling Nara closer to him by her waist. He let his lips meet hers as they took one final goodbye kiss._

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, I need to start with the bad news. As you can remember the user by the name of _notanakin_ has been bothering me and other writers for a little while now. Some of you might have noticed that this user is not only posting stories ranting about how bad my fic is (and by the other writers), but now this user has also reposted this story TWICE. I URGE you all to please report this person. Do not leave a review (you'll see why), just report them. Do not give them the satisfaction of getting reviews, it's not worth it. I have e-mailed the staff about the problem but I was hoping you might do the same. Not only has this person plagiarized my story, they are also going against the regulations by posting negativity as works of fiction.

For the good news, I have put my story on wattpad. You can find it under the same title, etc. My usernamer is ScarletttMae with three Ts.

Last but not least, I want to thank you all for your lovely comments, pms, and reviews. Especially through times like these with someone constantly bothering you it's great to hear people are actually enjoying your story. I really appreciate it. I would like to wish you all a very happy new year's eve and hopefully all of your dreams will come true in 2016 3


	13. Chapter XIII

There was no time for introductions. Rey had hugged Finn briefly, but when Han complained they had to get a move on they had let each other go. It warmed Nara's heart to see them caring for each other. She had no idea what they had been through, but she could imagine it had only brought them closer.

Nara smiled briefly when their eyes met. Her approving nod was enough to know that she had recognized her. They had shared the same fate for a short while, and she couldn't wait to hear what Rey had to say about Kylo. Above all she wanted to know how she escaped his grips.

They took an elevator which led to the surface of the planet. It had been such a long time since she had been outside, Nara had forgot how the crisp air felt in her lungs. Around them the Resistance was fighting. She hadn't realized they had come so far in fighting the First Order. A lot had happened while she was away.

Her eyes focused on the skies, trying to find the X-Wing that belonged to Poe. There was so much going on that is was impossible to see him, but she had a feeling he was right there with the other fighters. He always was.

"They're in trouble. We can't leave," Han spoke as they came to a halt. "My friend has a bag full of explosions. Let's use them."

"We're going back inside?" Finn spoke. He had his hands on his hips.

Nara looked back to where they had came from. Being back surrounded by Resistance fighters reminded her of their cause now more than ever, yet something inside was keeping her back. Kylo was in there. Did she want to kill him?

"Don't back out now, kid," Han replied. "We can still win this thing."

She agreed with the plan, and followed them back inside. This could either go brilliantly or horribly wrong, but Han reminded her that in the end all his plans usually worked out. The confidence in his voice made her hopeful that this was going to work, yet she couldn't help but feel a little uneasy.

They split up, Nara following Han and Chewie, and Rey and Finn going in the opposite direction. Before they were able to enter the building, Nara tugged at Han's sleeve. He turned him to her, raising his eyebrow. Maybe this wasn't exactly the best time, but she needed to speak with him.

"Ben is in there," she said, referring to the building they were going to blow up.

Han nodded and smiled softly. He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Ben is gone. Kylo Ren is in there, and I wouldn't mind blowing him to pieces."

Nara felt a knot forming in her stomach. She knew Han didn't mean it. As soon as he would lay his eyes on Kylo he would see his son, just like she had seen him. Things would get a lot more complicated if they were to run into him.

She retrieved a blaster from a nearby shot down stormtrooper. Nara took off the safety. She was going to have to shoot, she knew that. They were surrounded by enemies and the only way to make it out of here alive was to shoot them before they could shoot her.

With the blaster heavy in her hands they proceeded down the hallway. Han and Chewie led the way, which resulted in them taking out most of the stormtroopers, leaving only a few for Nara to shoot. She didn't feel particularly good about having to, but she reminded herself this was the only way she could win.

Her mind wandered back to Kylo. How was he able to merciless kill all those people? How did he not feel bad? Did he not care? Did he truly believe himself to be superior to the rest? Whatever lies Snoke had fed him had worked. He had become ruthless and reckless.

They waited for Rey and Finn do to their thing. When the doors finally opened they held their blasters high, ready to shoot down anyone in their path. It led to a huge space, which opened up to a large pit in the middle. A bridge connected this side of it to the other. The size of it felt daunting, and Nara still couldn't quite come to grip with the scale of the First Order. They were much bigger than she had expected.

"We'll set the charges at every other collum," Han said, pointing in the distance.

Chewbacca suggested something else.

"You're right, that's a better idea. You take the top, I'll go down below. Nara, you follow me. We'll meet back here."

Nara nodded, took over some of the thermal detonators from Chewie, and made her way downstairs. When Han went left, she proceeded to the right. The pit that was right besides her made her nervous. To what led its depths? She hoped she would never find out.

When she reached the other side she immediately went to work. She placed the round detonators on crucial points, making sure it would weaken the structure of the building when they would explode. To set the charge she pressed a button in the middle. It lit up red, an indication it had was ready for detonation.

Nara placed as many as she could, never losing her focus and always keeping her blaster ready in her other hand. Stormtroopers could appear out of nowhere, so she needed to be ready.

She pressed her back against the wall when she heard footsteps approaching. There were many of them, and when she saw a dark and tall looming figure appearing on her side of the pit, her heart sunk. It was Kylo.

"Find them," he ordered the stormtroopers.

They dispersed and all went their separate ways. It was obvious he knew not only Rey had escaped, but Nara as well. She felt bad for the stormtrooper having to deliver the news that both of his prisoners had managed to break out.

As the stormtroopers disappeared the space felt eerily quiet. Her eyes followed Kylo, as he seemed to wander around the edge of the pit. It seemed as if he was looking for something, and she couldn't help but feel he was looking for either her or Han.

The Millennium Falcon couldn't have stayed off his radar. Kylo knew his father was on his planet, and she had no idea how he was going to react to his presence. It had been years since they had last seen each other.

When he stood right in front of her Nara realized she had a clear shot. Her hands picked up her gun, aiming it steadily as she watched him. She held her breath as her finger wrapped around the trigger. If she did this it would all be over. He would be hurt and they could take him with them.

Kylo spun on his heel. Nara released her breath as he disappeared out of her view. He moved towards the bridge connecting the two sides, and when she saw Han had appeared out of the darkness Nara cursed under her breath.

"HAN," she hissed as loud as she could while not drawing any attention. If she had just taken the shot it would all have ended.

Either Han didn't hear her, or he pretended to to hear her. He followed his son on the bridge. Nara felt weak at her knees as she watched the both of them. Was she supposed to do something?

"Ben!" he shouted, his voice echoing throughout the pit.

Kylo stopped in his tracks and slowly turned.

Nara's eyes met with Chewie's. He shook his head in confusion. If Han was trying to bring Kylo back to the light side he had a tough job ahead. Nara had tried her best over the time she had been here, but it seemed like it had just resulted in him drawing back to the dark side even more.

"Han Solo," Kylo simply stated.

A chill went through her body at the sound of his mechanical voice.

"I have been waiting for this moment for a long time."

Han seemed to be at a loss for words. He took slow steps forward over the bridge towards his son.

"Take off that mask," he spoke. "You don't need it."

"What do you think you'll see if I do?" Kylo asked.

"The face of my son."

Nara edged forward, making sure she would remain in the shadows yet make sure she was getting a better view on the situation. She still had her blaster ready, but neither her nor Chewbacca seemed to be reacting.

Kylo raised his hands to his head and took off the helmet. She had seen him without it, so it didn't surprise her as much as it did Han when he saw his son for the first time since years.

"Your son is gone," Kylo said. "He was weak, and foolish like his father. So I destroyed him."

Han continued his path forward.

"That is what Snoke wants you to believe, but it's not true. My son is alive."

"No," Kylo said. "The Supreme Leader is wise."

Han went even further. He was now face to face with what he believed to be Ben, but during her time here Nara had learned a lot. Ben was truly gone.

"He is using you for your powers. When he gets what he wants he'll crush you."

The closer Han got, the more uneasy Kylo seemed to appear. His confident stature seemed to disappear as he hunched his shoulders and continuously shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

"You know it's true," Han added.

"It's too late," Kylo spoke, the words familiar to Nara.

"No, it's not," Han said. "Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you."

This was the first time she had ever seen Han so personal. He wasn't one to share his feelings, yet he was spilling everything he had in this moment.

"I'm being torn apart," Kylo explained. "I wanna be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?"

"Yes!" Han spoke convincingly. "Anything."

Nara took another step forward. This looked to be too good to be true. Everything she had experienced over the past weeks had made her more doubtful than ever. While this looked promising, Kylo was extremely unpredictable, and she had a bad feeling about this.

Kylo dropped his helmet. It clunked down heavily on the bridge. His fingers then pulled his lightsaber from his belt and held it out in front of him. It was ready for Han to take.

When Han grabbed it, but Kylo wouldn't let go, Nara forgot how to breathe. This wasn't looking good. This wasn't looking good at all. Nara turned her head to look up to Chewbacca, but he seemed to be transfixed by Kylo.

The light around them suddenly grew dark. It became harder for her to see. She could never get a good shot at him now, not with Han standing so close.

Then Kylo ignited his lightsaber and it went straight through Han's body, piercing through his heart. Nara couldn't believe what she was seeing. She rushed forward to the edge of their side of the bridge as Chewbacca roared in pain.

She wanted to shout his name, but nothing came out. Her finger seemed to be glued to her blaster and she was unable to take the shot.

"Thank you," Kylo said softly to his father, but Nara could hear him.

It was right there and then when she realized he had truly been lost to the dark side. He had just killed his father, his own flesh and blood. Han was the only thing that could tie him to his past, and he just destroyed that tie. Ben Solo was finally eradicated from existence.

Tears streamed down her face, but Nara failed to say anything. She let her blaster fall to the ground as she gripped the railing to steady herself.

He retracted the red lightsaber and let Han fall into the abyss of darkness underneath them.

Chewbacca roared in pain and in grief. Nara looked up and saw he shot his crossbow, the plasma beam flying through the air. It hit Kylo in his side. He bent over in pain as he pressed his hand to the wound.

Nara looked on helplessly, but when stormtroopers appeared from all sides she had to do something. Chewie moved down the stairs and ran towards her. He took out everyone and everything in his side. His rage made him more deadly than ever.

She followed the wookiee away from the pit, not daring to look over her shoulder. If she saw him in pain she would feel for him, and that was exactly the opposite of what she wanted. Ben had killed his own father. If he was able to do that, what more was he capable of?

Before they were able to leave Chewie turned, and pressed the button of his detonator. The explosives all blew up, the stormtroopers flying through the air as it badly damaged the building. A thick cloud of smoke developed behind them as they ran as fast as they could.

It had grown darker outside, and the air was more colder than ever. Chewie ran towards the Falcon, but when Nara realized she hadn't seen Finn and Rey, she stopped in her tracks.

"I need to help them," she stated.

Chewie turned around and roared in disagreement.

"No, you don't understand. Kylo Ren will kill them."

Nara looked around her, trying to think of the logical place they would have gone to. Finn would probably lead him and Rey back to the Falcon to get the hell out of here. They couldn't be so far away.

"You get the Falcon ready to go. I need to go back for them. I can still save them while there is time."

Chewie looked at her in hesitation, but Nara knew she had to do this to make peace with herself. She couldn't stop him from killing Han, but maybe she could him from killing Finn and Rey.

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, we all knew this was coming. I kept the dialogue as close to the film as possible. It didn't feel good to deviate from it. We're finally moving away from the film into unknown territory. I can't wait what your thoughts will be about it all.

I have a few things I would like to say. The first thing is that this website seems to have some kind of problem with displaying reviews. Luckily, I'm receiving them through my e-mail as well, so I am reading all of them. If you worry about them not showing up, I figure it's a glitch they're (hopefully) working on. Please keep your reviews coming! I read them all with much joy.

There were a couple of questions by people worried if I was going to stop posting on this website. I'm not! I will continue to use both and wattpad to upload my stories online. You can follow them from wherever you want.

Finally, the user by the name of _notanakin_ who has been bothering me has changed their name to _ScarletttMae_. Nice. Look, whoever you are, and I know you're reading this, just stop. We both know I am not quitting this story so there is no point in trying to convince anyone otherwise. I'm not affected by your antics at all, so just give up. In fact, it has made me more determined than ever to continue and finish this story. Please find a hobby, or whatever.

I would still like to urge you to report this user. Their not only trying to sabotage my story, but also by other writers. I'm not letting it affect me, but I can understand some writers will be bothered by it.

To end on a positive note, I totally forgot to mention I reached 500 followers, which is absolutely AMAZING. Thank you all so much for sticking with me through this. I really enjoy writing this story and it's even better that so many people are enjoying it with me. Thank you all and take care 3 I will see you next chapter!


	14. Chapter XIV

The snow crunched under her feet as Nara ran as fast as she could. Snowflakes caught in her hair and eyelashes as she darted between the trees. She kept her gaze on the horizon, trying to look for Rey and Finn. They couldn't be far from here.

Nara stopped to catch her breath. She leaned forward, resting her hands on her knees as she remained still. The fighting around her had stopped. Either they had lost or they had reached their objective. The only thing audible was her own panting and the rustling of the leaves in the trees.

She narrowed her eyes when she thought she heard something in the distance. Nara turned her head to try to determine where it was coming from.

There it was again.

Spinning on her heel, Nara began to run in the direction she guessed it was coming from. After covering some distance, she came to the conclusion it was definitely a cry of struggle, but she couldn't hear if it was Rey, Finn, or anyone else.

The cry was growing louder and louder as she advanced throughout the forest. Nara picked up the pace when she spotted something up ahead. It looked like a dark figure, the black contrasting against the white snow. Her eyes fell on something bright and red and that was when she knew it was Kylo.

She spun through the trees, and stopped when she saw something close in front of her. Nara rushed over and quickly realized it was Rey laying in the snow, her eyes closed. She kneeled down besides her, Nara's fingers finding her wrist to check her pulse.

It wasn't until she rose again she saw Kylo and Finn, standing opposite from each other. The snow flurried around them as Finn raised his hands and ignited a blue lightsaber. For a moment, Nara forgot Rey and hurried over, standing between them.

"STOP THIS," she said. Kylo would kill Finn within an instant. This was an experienced lightsaber-fighter against someone with virtually no experience. She had no idea how Finn had gotten hold of the lightsaber, but what she did know was this duel could end badly.

"Nara," Kylo spoke, his eyes narrowing in reaction to her presence. "Stay out of this. You do not need to get hurt."

"No one needs to get hurt."

His fingers flexed around the hilt of the lightsaber. It was clear he wanted to act, and she was restricting his every move.

Kylo cocked his head to the right hand closed his eyes for a mere second.

"That lightsaber belongs to me."

Nara raised her hands in defense when he picked up his own red lightsaber. He was ready to fight and it was obvious that not even Nara was going to stop him.

"Kylo, don't do this. Please. Let them go, and take me instead."

She turned herself to Finn.

"Give him the lightsaber," she urged.

Finn remained still, his gaze moving from Nara, to his lightsaber, to Kylo. When he equally raised it to match Kylo, Nara shook her head in disbelief. He wasn't going to give it up either.

Before engaging in battle, Kylo unexpectedly took a step toward Nara. She didn't know whether she were to take a step back or remain standing still. He had surprised her so much during the time she had been here, but the past few hours were something else entirely. He had done something she didn't think he was capable of, and she had no idea what he was going to next.

"I'm sorry," he spoke.

Before she could see the regret in his eyes he had frozen her body. He lifted her off the ground and placed her back down again in the distance, far away from Rey, or Finn. Tingles shot through her body as she remained transfixed in the position he had placed her in. Nara tried her best to move, but even her fingers wouldn't move a little. She was stuck, and whatever the result of this duel was going to be, she had to watch.

"Come get it," Finn said, his voice full with rage, referring to the lightsaber.

He launched forward, the blue lightsaber shining brightly as he brought it down. Kylo deflected his blow and with swift movements he brought Finn to the ground.

Nara tried to move again, figuring now Kylo wasn't focussing on her anymore it would be easier. Yet not an inch of her body was functioning. The situation she so desperately wanted to avoid was unfolding right in front of her eyes, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Kylo spun on his heel, his hand curling into a fist as he slammed it against his side where Chewbacca had hit him with his bowcaster. It was as if he was tapping into his dark side. As if he needed to convince himself he could do this through the pain.

Finn tried to seize the moment and crawled to his feet, but Kylo was prepared for him and dodged his approach with ease. He swung his lightsaber ferociously, yet Finn was able to hold his own.

They continued backwards, Kylo taking the lead. He pressed Finn up against the tree as he tried to bring his lightsaber as close to him as possible.

Finn struggled, but he managed to keep Kylo's red lightsaber as far away from his as possible. Among the brightness of the snow the red looked to be more menacing than ever.

Kylo was stronger. He pressed forward, the side of his cross guarded lightsaber slicing through Finn's skin, who screamed out in agony. Nara wanted to close her eyes, but she simply couldn't.

When Kylo let go of his grip and took a swing, Finn ducked low. The lightsaber cut through the tree, leaving behind a smoldering mess.

As fast as he could, Finn turned around and hit first. He managed to wound Kylo, the blue tip reaching the top of his arm. For just a moment, he flinched, but Kylo quickly recovered and spun on his heel. He swung his lightsaber again, and it caught Finn's.

The blue lightsaber flung through the air and landed in a soft bed of snow far away from them. There was no way Finn would be able to retrieve it before Kylo would kill him.

Kylo swung again against a defenseless Finn. Just as he was about to turn, the lightsaber cut right along the length of his back. It sent him down to the ground, where he remained facedown in complete stillness.

Nara held her breath. Was he dead? She could only hope he was unconscious and the wound Kylo had given him wasn't as bad as it was looking right now. But from where she was standing the outlook wasn't positive. His clothes were ripped right where he had been struck, and blood was leaving behind a red stain around the wound.

Kylo retracted his lightsaber and raised his arm to retrieve the other he wanted to so much. It shuddered, ready to move in his hand whenever it was ready, but it was taking long. Too long, for Kylo's liking. He groaned in annoyance as he extended his arm even further.

The lightsaber released itself from the snow and shot through the air, but it didn't land in Kylo's hand. Instead, it blew straight past him, and into Rey's.

Nara hadn't seen her getting up as she had been too transfixed by the duel. She looked down to the lightsaber, a little confused that it had gone to her, and not to Kylo. The fact that it flew past Kylo meant it didn't belong to him. It belonged to Rey.

Nara wanted to shake her head in bewilderment. This meant that Rey was a Jedi. The lightsaber had called to her, and not Kylo. After the massacre by the Knights of Ren Jedi's were thought to be extinct. Yet, Nara was looking at another one. _Rey was a Jedi_.

Rey looked at her own hand in amazement. When she realized what she just had done she took the lightsaber in both of her hands, holding it high to her face. It ignited, the blue light transforming her face.

Kylo turned his own behind him, and launched forward.

They fought relentlessly, hitting many trees in the process. One fell down behind them, but they seemed to be too preoccupied by their duel to notice.

It was easy to see Rey was much more experienced than Finn was. While he had been able to defend himself for an impressive amount of time, Rey appeared to be an actual match for Kylo.

They swung hard, driving each other back through the forest until they had appeared out of sight. The tingles in Nara's body seemed to disappear, and when she tried to move her leg she found it had taken a step forward.

She looked down to her hand as she flexed her fingers. Kylo had released his grip on her. She was able to move again.

Without waiting any further she ran towards Finn, sliding down beside him in the snow. Her eyes fell on the gash that covered his entire back. Kylo had cut deep, and he had cut right along his spine.

Nara cursed under her breath as she listened closely. The humming of the lightsabers had disappeared in the distance. She had to make a choice. If she could get Finn to the Falcon they could save him, but what about Rey?

She shook her head. There was no point in getting between them. She didn't have a weapon and Kylo could use the force to keep her away. Nara had to help Finn. There was nothing she could do for Rey. She had to either hold her own against Kylo or kill him to escape.

A deafening sound caught her attention. The ground began to shake beneath her, as the leaves in the trees began to rustle uncontrollably. It didn't take her long before she realized the planet was going to blow up, and they were still on it.

Nara turned her head when she saw something move along the trees. It was Rey. She was back.

Nara sighed in relief. She rose to her feet as her eyes scanned her body, looking for any injuries, but there appeared to be none. In her right hand she held the lightsaber. Her fingers were tightly wrapped around the hilt. She wasn't going to let it go.

"Are you okay?" Nara said, her eyes widening.

If Rey had gotten away unharmed that either meant she had been very lucky, or she had defeated Kylo.

Rey nodded, blinking a couple of times before she replied. "I think so, yes."

When her eyes fell on Finn she hurried down to him and sat down next to him. She bowed over his body, holding him tight.

"He's unconscious," Nara said. "However, he's wounded very badly. Kylo hit him hard."

The ground seemed to stop shaking, the planet growing eerily quiet. Nara looked up to the sky, wondering why Chewbacca was taking so long. They needed to get out of here if they were to save Finn.

"Speaking of Kylo," she turned her head back to face Rey. "What happened to him?"

Rey shook her head. "I don't know. The planet split right between us, which was why I could get away."

Nara swallowed. At least he was alive, but for how long? He was out here by himself like they were, and with the state this planet was in he needed to get off it as quickly as possible.

She turned her eyes from the trees to the stars above her. Something bright coming from the sky blinded her. The surface started to tremble again and she heard another explosion in the distance. She looked up to find a ship coming down towards them. Immediately she recognized the shape.

"Chewie," she whispered.

* * *

 **A/N:** Who knew it was a bowcaster and not a crossbow? I used the wrong term last chapter, oh well. Anyhow, the reviews are working again! Thank god, it was getting really annoying not being able to see them and only reading them through my e-mail.

I have to admit this was probably the hardest chapter to write. The battle scene was very difficult, so I hope I did it somewhat justice. We are now moving into unknown territory. Obviously I would like to wait for the next film to come out first to see where the story is headed, but two years is a bit of a stretch. I have the next storyline figured out and I got some more ideas which could be interesting, so I'm excited and hopefully you are too.

As always, let me know your thoughts and I will see you again next chapter. Take care!


	15. Chapter XV

It felt surreal to be back on D'Qar. Nara had wished to be saved and be back here countless times, but now she was finally back it felt strange. After everything she had seen, it didn't feel like home anymore. She was excited to see the people she loved again, but she wasn't looking forward to the conversations they were going to be having.

Nara waited until she was the only one left in the Falcon. The ship belonged to Han Solo, and when she saw Chewbacca flying it by himself, Han's death had hit her harder than before. He was truly gone, as was Ben Solo. With one blow Kylo had murdered two people.

She heard footsteps on the metal surface of the ship. With the back of her hand she wiped the tears away. She wasn't even sure for who she was crying anymore.

Her heart fluttered when she saw it was Leia. Nara wanted to stand, but she nodded it was alright to remain seated. The general came to sit beside her as she placed her hand on Nara's arm.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that happen," Leia spoke, her voice full of regret.

Nara nodded. She was lost for words.

Leia saw she was struggling and wrapped her arms around Nara, pulling her closer to her.

Nara didn't want to cry again, but she could not help it. The tears streamed down her cheeks as she remembered everything. So much had happened, and now she was back she finally had time to process everything. From being captured, and seeing the First Order with her own eyes, to finding that Kylo still very much cared for her, to seeing Han die. It was a lot to take in.

"Ben is gone, Leia," Nara said, her voice breaking slightly. "I thought he was still in there somewhere, but he is gone."

Leia rested her chin on the top of her head as she gently stroked her back with her thumb.

"I know he is," she replied. "It was foolish to think he could be brought back."

Nara had to agree. She couldn't compete against whatever lies Snoke was feeding him. The dark side had completely taken over him, and once that had happened there was no turning back.

They remained like that for a few minutes. Nara felt the tears drying on her cheeks. This was exactly what she had needed. Leia had always been able to see right through her, and she was very grateful to have her in her life. Why couldn't Kylo just see the same?

"Let's get back," Leia spoke. "I'm sure Poe will want to see you as well."

Nara nodded. She grabbed the sleeve of her shirt and put it in her fist before she rubbed her eyes. She was still wearing the Resistance uniform. Where it once had been white, it was now covered in dirt, and suddenly she realized how much she wanted to take it off. It only reminded her of everything that had happened.

Even though all her stuff was exactly where it was before she had left, Nara's living quarters looked different than before. She circled the room, taking off her jacket and throwing it over the side of her couch. After looking around for a few minutes she told herself it was just the way the light was hitting her carpet. It cast a red glow and transformed the way her furniture looked. Everything would be normal again in the morning.

Nara jumped under the shower. For the first time since forever she felt relaxed as the water streamed down her body. Her muscles hurt from all the running she had done, and she hadn't realized how cold she was.

She tried her hardest to keep her mind off Kylo, but every now and again the image of him killing Han shot trough her mind again. Then she remembered how he had been left behind on Starkiller Base, and she didn't even know if he was alive.

Nara wrapped her hair in a towel and put on fresh clothes. It felt relieving to be out of the uniform, and she planned on not wearing it for a long time. The mission she had suggested had been more of an experiment than a thought through mission, and it had taken a toll on her. Maybe she should have listened to Poe after all.

She moved to the window, looking out on the planet D'Qar. Their headquarters were visible in the distance, and many people were still walking around, trying to get things done. Nara wondered what had happened here while she had been away. She also still had no idea where Rey had come from.

Someone knocked on her door. Nara turned her head.

"It's open!" she spoke. Whoever it was, she didn't want to be alone, so any presence was appreciated.

When Poe appeared in her doorway Nara hurried towards him with her arms outstretched. She pulled him close to her as she buried her face in his neck.

"You're alive," she whispered before releasing him from her grip.

Poe smiled softly. "You know I wouldn't leave you behind."

"With the fight and everything happening around me, I couldn't see your X-Wing," Nara explained.

A smirk played on his lips. "Well, you know me. Poe Dameron, best pilot in the Resistance. I was everywhere."

Nara couldn't help but chuckle as well. She gave him a gentle push, although she was very glad he was making her smile again. After all the stress filled moments, it felt good to just relax and laugh.

"We have to talk about something first, though," Nara suddenly said, going along with the moment. "Your jacket. Why can Finn keep it while I couldn't even touch the damn thing."

"Finn, me, and that jacket went through some traumatic events, Nara. It would be selfish to keep it for myself."

She shook her head as her smile widened, but it quickly disappeared again when Poe spoke up.

"How was he? Kylo Ren?

Nara swallowed as her gaze avoided his. She thought back to the moments they had spent together, and the immense contrast between them. The tenderness when he was around her against the callous indifference when it came to treating others. Where one could argue he was the true definition of a monster, Nara had seen him differently than most people, but how could she ever explain that to someone who only knew him as the next Darth Vader?

"Intense," she said, hoping that would best describe it. "Ben doesn't exist anymore. I saw him disappear the moment Kylo… you know…"

Poe nodded understanding. He placed his hand on her shoulder as he shook her back and forth for a moment, his eyes finding hers again.

"Hey, it's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," Nara said, forcing out a smile.

After she was finished with quickly drying her hair, they took off again. Leia had requested their presence at HQ, and even though Nara was really reluctant to go, Poe had promised to tell her all about Rey and Finn on their way over there. That was an offer she couldn't resist.

With her arms crossed in front of her chest they made their way over to the HQ. Poe enthusiastically told her all about Finn and Rey, and she couldn't note how he was particularly excited to talk about seeing Finn again after the battle of Takodana.

The control room felt as strange as her own living quarters had felt. Never before had she been out of the loop for so long. People all around her were working hard, typing away behind their computers while others were studying a piece of holographic information intensively.

Nara shuffled closer to what had been her own station. Someone else was sitting behind it, paying no attention to who had just come to stand behind them.

She swallowed and turned her head. It was only logical her position had been giving to someone else while she had been away, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt her. This had been her spot, and now it wasn't anymore. The longer she was here, the more she began to feel she didn't belong.

A surge of relief with through her body when Leia motioned for her to come. With her head held high she met her at the opposite end of the control room, awaiting the news.

" 're here," Leia said, pulling her by her side by her elbow.

Nara wasn't sure what they were waiting for, but it quickly became clear when R2 rolled forward. Her eyes widened upon the sight of the droid. For so long the droid had been left without power, covered by a sheet in the corner. She remembered how often C3PO came to check to see if R2 would respond to anything, but ever since Luke disappeared, nothing ever happened, and after a while 3PO had given up.

R2-D2 made a beeping noise. He then projected something in the middle of the control room. A sheet of blue light illuminated everything and everyone. When Nara looked closer she saw it was a map of the galaxy, slowly rotating around its axis.

She took a step closer as she tried to identify all the clusters, stars, and planets. One obvious piece of the map was missing, and that was when she remembered they had that part. Poe had been sent to retrieve it from Jakku.

BB-8 rolled to Poe, who gave him the missing piece of the puzzle. The droid projected it right in the spot where it was missing on R2's map, it now finally being completed.

Nara took another step forward in awe. A clear route to wherever Luke had been hiding for all this time had appeared right in front of their eyes.

"The map! It is complete!" C3PO said happily.

Her eyes met with Leia's and she was glad to see the general was smiling again. After what had happened to Han, she deserved a bit of good news for once, and this was about as good as it would get.

* * *

Rey departed with Chewbacca soon after to find him. She had taken the lightsaber with her, as it turned out it had once belonged to Luke himself. It was her mission to bring him back, and for all their sake Nara hoped she would succeed. The Resistance could use him.

Leia hadn't given her her old position back, ordering her to stay home and rest. Nara was glad for her doing so. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept through the entire night. It proved to be a lot easier with a blanket and a pillow. Yet her dreams were vivid and reminded her of the things she should be forgetting. Nara, however, was already glad she woke up somewhat rested.

Her knowledge of Starkiller Base and Kylo's command shuttle proved to be worthless now both had been blown up. Still she was able to tell the Resistance more about Snoke, and General Hux. The Resistance was already anticipating their next move. The First Order would never disappear up in smoke so quickly. Undoubtedly they would come back, harder, and stronger.

Finn was still in critical condition, but Poe had assured her he would recover. Their medics were working their best on him, but Kylo had sliced him up badly.

It wasn't until days had passed when Nara's presence was requested at the HQ's again. She hoped it meant she could return to her own post. She felt a lot better and she began to grow bored sitting at home all day, only leaving occasionally to get some fresh air. But when Nara entered Leia's office and saw more of her staff sitting in a circle, she knew there was something more happening. By the looks of it they were obviously waiting for her to appear, and Leia wouldn't have invited all these people just to give her her old job back.

Nara looked around the room, her body tensing. Softly, she closed the door behind her as she waited for them to speak.

"Nara, come in," Leia spoke. She placed her hand on an empty chair right next to her own. "Please sit."

She shuffled forward and sat down. The people surrounding her all worked closely with Leia, and they had high ranking positions. Her mind began to work, wondering if she had done something terribly wrong. She had never been invited to a meeting like this before.

"No need to worry," Leia assured as she too placed herself in a chair. "We have called upon you to speak to you about the possibility of a new mission."

Nara raised her eyebrows. "Will I not be getting my old position back? I know I'm up for it again."

Leia shook her head. "We have something much more important for you in mind."

"Nara, the Resistance needs you to go back," a lieutenant spoke.

Her body froze as she looked around the room once more, wondering when someone was going to come out and tell her it was all a joke. Had she even heard it correctly? Nara had just gotten back to the Resistance, and they wanted her to go out there again?

"I'm sorry?" she stumbled, gripping the arms of her chair as she pushed herself backwards.

Nara turned herself to Leia, looking for answers.

"We will never make any progress if we do not know what the First Order is up to. We need someone out there, on the inside, reporting their every move to us. And at this moment there is no one better suited for the job than you."

Her heart skipped a beat. They wanted her to go back. This was her opportunity to go back to him, to go back to Kylo. The fact that it filled her with more joy than it probably should, surprised and scared her at the same time. If she were to agree she was putting herself in danger again. Was she up for that?

Nara sat up straight. This was her chance. Rey had said Kylo had been wounded when they had left him behind, and the lack of closure about his wellbeing had troubled her every day, even though she knew it shouldn't.

"We don't know where the First Order is," Nara said, snapping out of her naivety. How could this possibly work? Starkiller Base was wiped away from existence. They had no idea where the First Order had relocated. They had no idea if Kylo Ren was even alive, and he was the only one who could help her on the inside.

The person on her right began to speak. "We don't, no. But there are ways in this galaxy to find them. The First Order is bigger than we expected. They have people everywhere and once you tell them who you are, they'll want to take you to the First Order."

"Why? I'm no one."

Leia rose and took something from her desk. She placed it in a little holder, and something holographic was projected in the center of the room. It looked like some sort of pamphlet, and when she saw her own picture, her heart stopped.

"They have a bounty on your head. Rey's as well."

She shook her head in confusion as she read the words that surrounded her own face.

"They want Rey because of what she knows. They want you, because of Ben," Leia explained. She lowered her gaze for a mere second before continuing.

"When he killed Han, he killed a part of himself. That part of himself he tried to cut out still exists through you, Nara. You can tie him to his past. You can get him to turn to the light side. And that is exactly what Snoke doesn't want to happen."

Nara shifted in her chair. "So if I understand this correctly, they will bring me to the First Order to get their bounty. Who says they're not going to kill me within an instant? That's what they want, right? To kill me?"

She read the pamphlet once more. "I mean, it literally says _dead or alive_."

"Kylo cannot kill you. He'll protect you from the others."

"Do we even know he's alive?" Nara asked. When the rest failed to answer she knew enough. There hadn't been any reports of Kylo Ren, so they did not know. The only one who wouldn't kill her may or may not be alive, and they were going to bet on that?

"I don't know," Nara shook her head. "This mission seems to be depending on a lot of uncertainty."

"I have another plan," Leia said, her eyes widening. "You tell them you know where Luke is. I know they have part of the map, and just need the final piece we have to connect it. You have seen it."

The others in the room began to protest.

"No, absolutely not," the lieutenant spoke. "You cannot sent them to Luke."

"By the time they will get there," Leia said, raising her hands. "We will have already gotten him out of there."

Leia's suggestion had raised a lot of anger. Nara remained quiet as she listened to it unfolding.

"They'll destroy the first Jedi temple. We cannot allow that to happen."

"We can also not allow them to destroy another entire system," Leia began to raise her voice. The rest soon grew quiet. "Do none of you remember how the Hosnian system blew up, right in front of our eyes?! The First Order might not have their Starkiller yet, but it will only be a matter of time before they're back. We clearly underestimated them the first time, we can't allow them to do something like that again. What's a temple against the lives of millions of innocents?"

Nara lowered her gaze. While their mission might not be perfect, Leia was making a lot of sense. Even if Kylo had indeed been killed along with the destruction of the Starkiller, she needed to do this. The First Order might kill her, or even the people who are supposed to take her to the First Order might kill her. What the Resistance was doing was much bigger than just making sure they themselves wouldn't die. The Resistance was here to ensure peace and balance in the galaxy in a time when the Jedi could not. What death would be more honorable than to die, knowing you saved an entire galaxy?

Her heart pounded in her chest as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I'll do it," she nodded. "I'll go to the First Order."

* * *

 **A/N:** We're past the movies now! It was obvious that I needed to get Nara back with the First Order for this story to progress. Ultimately it's about Nara and Kylo's relationship, and that's not gonna change. I can't wait to hear all of your thoughts about it. I know I'm very excited to write the coming chapters.

I just wanted to give you guys a heads up about the amount of times I'm going to upload. In the beginning I tried to do updates daily/every other day, but now that I'm writing about things that don't exist yet it might take me slightly longer. This story is still very much a priority, so don't worry. There will be regular updates and at least once a week (but probably more because I know myself).

As you perhaps have seen, I changed the cover of this story. I'm not sure if I'm liking it, so it might chance again, lol.

Please let me know what you're thoughts are on the direction this story is taking. Hopefully I can make you all happy with the way it is going.

Anyhow, thank you all so much for sticking with me and reading another chapter. I will see you next time. Take care! :)


	16. Chapter XVI

The discussion did not die down after Nara told them she would be joining the First Order as a spy for the Resistance. Arguments went back and forth, as one half of the council seemed to oppose while the other seemed to agree. Nara was stuck in the middle, keeping quietly to herself as she kept her ears open.

Leia fought for her, and in the end the rest gave in. It was decided then. Nara was going to the First Order again, and hopefully, see Kylo Ren.

Her palms were clammy when it finally got through to her. A nervousness took hold of her, but it wasn't bothersome. The thought of seeing him again made her rather excited, and even though it was for all the wrong reasons, she didn't care.

Now she was entering behind enemy lines and possibly without the protection of Kylo, Leia insisted she would get training to be sure. Nara said goodbye to her desk job and entered a world of fighting techniques she had never seen before.

Luckily she could already handle herself with a blaster, which made everything a lot easier. The fighting skills didn't come naturally to her, but after some days of training Nara got the hang of it. The fact that Leia was taking such good care of her safety made her feel at ease. She was starting to feel a lot better about this with every day that passed.

The most daunting part still had to come. Poe had agreed to teach her the basics of flying, in case she needed to get out of there. They started to train on the ground as he explained what all the buttons meant and how she was supposed to steer. Apparently flying an X-Wing was a lot like flying a TIE-fighter, so if she could do this she could fly anything.

Next they started to train in the sky, keeping close distance to D'Qar. Poe flew ahead so Nara could follow him as closely as possible. They communicated through the comms and she found it was surprisingly more fun than she had expected. She was a lot better at this than at the fighting.

After Leia was content with her training, they faced the next problem. None of them knew where the First Order was, and getting her there was a crucial point of their mission. After gathering round the command room to think of possible places where there would be someone who could get here there, they came to the conclusion to go to Thyferra.

Thyferra was located in the Polith system and part of the Rimma Trading Route, which meant there were lots of people and other species traveling through. Someone had to know where the First Order was currently located. Someone there had to want the bounty that was on her head.

While Poe and others pilots planned the mission, Nara had some more time to prepare. She had to pick her clothing wisely as she didn't want to be stuck with the same uniform again. There wasn't much else she could bring. Apart from some utilities she stuffed in her pockets, it would be suspicious to bring any luggage. She was going to surrender, not on a holiday.

There was no way to communicate with the Resistance than by an implant communicator. Nara had to go to see their medic, which put it right behind her right ear. Nara held her breath as he injected it, but the pain turned out to be far less worse than she had anticipated.

The implant communicator was a cybernetic device with which she would be able to communicate with the Resistance. It was an old bit of technology, but for the sake of the mission it had been adapted and enhanced. It could now be turned off, which was necessary to ensure Nara's safety. By simply pressing on the chip behind her ear activated it, her voice being able to record messages. As soon as it was turned on she would receive any messages sent by the Resistance. When the implant wasn't activated, there was no way the First Order would ever come to find it.

Nara had protested at first. She didn't like the idea of having something implanted beneath her skin that was connected to not only her brain, but also her vocal cords. But when she went over the other options she realized this was the only one she had. While she was good with computers, there was no way she could use their systems without being detected sooner or later. Any device on her would immediately be taken away. This was the only thing that would work.

Their arrival on Thyferra hadn't gone unnoticed. The moment they had set foot on land, their every move was followed by the native Vratix. They whispered among each other in their native language, which Nara didn't understand. In other circumstances she might have worried about it, but she was here to be found, not to get lost.

The planet was incredibly hot and humid. Nara had chosen to dress rather warmly, remembering how cold the Starkiller had been. Within minutes she had taken off her coat, but even walking around in just a beige tanktop was too much.

"I hate it here already," Nara spoke as they continued their way.

"Good thing you're not here to stay," Poe replied, raising his eyebrows playfully, yet she could hear the regret in his voice.

They had already said their goodbyes back on D'Qar as they had no idea how everything was going to evolve. Besides, it was going to look strange if they were to say goodbye when she would be taken. Everything had to appear like it wasn't planned.

Poe had thought of a back-up story, which was incredibly technical so it would confuse anyone without much knowledge of the X-Wing. In short, Nara understood it had something to do with the fuel, but she figured she would just let Poe do the talking if it ever was necessary.

The Vratix were an instectoid species, and Nara would be lying if she didn't think they were a little scary. They were big, with six limbs, and so many claw-like hands she felt uneasy thinking about them. She had never seen any of them before, and after today she didn't feel the need of seeing them ever again.

Two other pilots had been left behind to guard the X-Wings. Even though Nara was going to stay behind, Poe needed to get back to the Resistance as quickly as possible. Their best fighter couldn't stay behind on this strange planet.

Nara had never been so glad to see a cantina. While they were normally filled with strange species, and people she'd rather not encounter, right now she glad to speak to someone who didn't look like a gigant insect.

The Plastoid Pitt was packed, which was to be expected. The planet had a convenient position on a busy trading route. There were many people and species heading in and out everyday, and someone here had to want to take her to the First Order. Preferably alive.

"You better wait outside," Nara said, edging closer to Poe as she looked around. "I'm supposed to be here alone."

She could see Poe hesitating. Eventually he nodded, turning himself to her one last time.

"If I haven't seen you come out within half an hour, I'm coming to find you."

Nara nodded. "It'll be okay."

Her hand found his among the darkness of the cantina. Her fingers were laced with his as she squeezed it gently. Nara was reluctant to let go, but she had to. Finally she released his hand as she immediately took a step forward. She was all alone now. It was as if Poe was the past which she just had let go. One step forward and she was in the future.

Nara stuffed her hands in the pockets of her beige pants as she moved through the cantina. Species from every side looked at her, falling silent as she passed by. After circling around the bar once it became apparent she was the only human in this bar.

She ordered a random drink, which she didn't think would be wise to drink, and went to sit at the nearest empty seat she could find. Nara brought the cup to her mouth, but the scent of the purplish liquid was so revolting she quickly put it down.

Her eyes scanned the Plastoid Pitt. The best way of getting out of here was by someone approaching her. No doubt she had been recognized already, and she didn't want to speak to each and everyone of these creatures. Her capture had to be somewhat natural and had to come off as not planned.

Time passed. Nara leaned back in her chair, trying to look as relaxed as possible while her whole body was tensed. Occasionally she pretended to take a sip of her drink, the stench making her more nauseous every time she did so. No one had approached her yet and as soon as she had sat down the cantina seemed to go back to normal. No more eyes following her every move. It was as if she had become invisible.

She looked down to the ground before looking up again. If they weren't going to be quick, she had to think of something else, but what? She could hardly walk up to some random guys, asking them if they new the fastest way to the First Order.

The only option she had was to wait. Wait, and hope Poe had patience and would remain outside. Nara knew he was going to come for her, and since this thing wasn't going as well as she had planned the last thing that she needed was to be seen with him.

She couldn't bring herself to pretend to drink from the cup any more. With her fingers she pushed it to the edge of the table, trying to distance herself as far from it as possible. Something in the corner of her eyes seemed to coming towards her. Nara pushed herself forward, arching her back. It weren't Vratix who were approaching her. It was another species she couldn't place, but it was too dark to see properly.

Her heart began to pound. This was it. This was her chance.

As she prepared herself to be ready for whoever was coming towards her, something else on the other side of the room caught her attention. Nara slowly turned her head, only to find Poe standing several feet away from her. Had it been so long already?

Her gaze shifted from Poe, to the creatures, and back again. Nara's eyes widened as she raised her chin to nod. He couldn't ruin this moment for her.

Poe seemed to be non responsive as he cocked his eyebrow as if he didn't understood what she was trying to say.

Nara motioned for him to leave with her head, mouthing the words "go, now!" in silence. When the creatures appeared before her, there was nothing more she could do but hope he had understood her.

Now they stood before her she was able to see them through the darkness of the cantina. There were two of them, and upon closer examination Nara realized they weren't like the other species in the bar. They were human, like herself.

"She's definitely it," one of them spoke to the other.

They were tall figures, with long black robes which came to their knees. They had large hoods pulled up over their faces, making them unrecognizable. She had no idea who they were underneath all the clothing and darkness, but they way they spoke of her indicated they had to be familiar with whoever she was.

"I am definitely what?" Nara spoke, trying her best to play along.

"The one they are looking for," the hooded figure spoke. "If you want to live you I would advise you to come with us."

"Come with you where?" she asked, although she knew exactly where they would be taking her.

Before she realized it they were standing right in front of her. They both grabbed her by her arms as they lifted her off the chair with ease, knocking over the table in front. Nara had the urge to resist, but she constantly reminded herself that this was what she wanted. This was the plan. This was what was supposed to happen.

"Where is the guy you came with?"

They completely ignored her own question, even though she didn't exactly needed an answer, and continued asking their own. They had seen Poe, and he was still waiting for her outside. Her mind began to work. The only way out of this establishment that she knew of was through the front, so they were going to pass him as they went outside. She could try and distract her captors, or hope Poe was wise enough not to interfere and keep a low profile.

"I'm here alone," Nara protested. "Nobody knows I'm here."

It was disconcerting how everyone in the cantina allowed these people to take her. With her hands behind her back she was pushed forward. When she walked into the Plastoid Pitt all eyes had been on her, but now Nara was leaving under force nobody seemed to mind as they all looked the other way. They clearly knew who these people were and that they shouldn't be messed with.

The humid air welcomed her outside. Nara couldn't waste any time. Her head turned, trying to locate Poe. Her breath got trapped in her throat when he she found him standing just a short distance away from the entrance.

Their eyes met. It took him just a second to realize what was going on before he spun on his heel and began to walk away.

"What are you looking at?" her captor asked, his gaze following hers.

Nara's eyes widened. Poe was still walking away slowly, his back towards them. Her captors had blasters and he was well within range. There was nothing else she could do but distract them and hope Poe could disappear in time.

She lifted her knee and let her leg fall backwards, hitting her captor right in his groin. He cried out in pain, and when she felt the grip on her arm go away she began to run.

Her kick had surprised hurt one of them and surprised the other. Before they could react Nara already had a small lead, and she decided to make as much use of it as she possibly could by leading them away from Poe or their other pilots.

She looked over her shoulder to see her captors closing in on her. Under other circumstances she would have picked up the pace, but since getting captured was part of the plan she slowed down. It didn't take long before she felt their grip on her arm again. They cursed as they turned her around.

"Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

Her eyes fell on the horizon. Poe was gone. Nara looked and looked but he was completely out of a view. She wanted to let out a sigh of relief, but then she remembered the situation she was in. Her muscles tensed again as she tried her best to make it just a little bit more difficult for them. Nara knew she was playing with fire, but she couldn't let them take her so easily. She didn't want to give them the satisfaction.

They progressed through the jungle-like terrain of Thyferra. Nara's boots stuck to the mud with every step she took, but her captors pushed her forwards either way.

After some time Nara began to wonder where they were taking her. It was as if they were leading her away from the villages and homes of the Vratix people and into a secluded part of their planet. Her heart began to pound. They weren't bringing her all the way out here to kill her, weren't they?

Nara released her breath as her body relaxed when she saw a spaceship ahead of them. She narrowed her eyes as they got closer. The ship was so big it had crushed the trees when it had landed, deforming the landscape beneath. Nara had no idea who her captors were, but now she had seen their ship it was apparent they were perhaps more important than she had realized.

The shuttle opened opened up, and more people appeared. They were all dressed somewhat alike in black clothing which seemed to be not suited best for this planet. Some of them wore helmets which reminded her immensely of Kylo's helmet. From their belts hung various types of weapons. Knives, blasters, even grenades.

As they brought her in Nara realized she had been taken by a group who seemed to be very closely affiliated to the First Order, and that scared and excited her at the same time. At least they were bringing her to where she was supposed to go, yet at the same time she had no idea what they had in store for her.

They didn't bring her to a cell, but handcuffed her to a metal chair which was connected to the ground. She was glad for doing so, this way she could at least pay attention to the things that were happening around her.

Nara perked her ears to listen as closely to their conversations as she could, but as soon as the shuttle rose into the air and they all placed their helmets back on their heads, hiding their faces and masking their voices, it became impossible to hear.

"What the hell was she doing here?" she could hear one of them say.

"No idea, but who cares? We got her."

They didn't pay any attention to her as they made their journey back to wherever the First Order had concealed itself. Considering the bounty that was on her head, they cared surprisingly little for her. It led Nara to believe there was something more to them than she might have fathomed. The way they spoke of her, the way they ignored her, but above all, the way their clothing looked like Kylo's. Who were these people?

It didn't take long before they were descending again, and judging by the turbulence they had either landed on the ground, or landed onto something else. The fact that they had arrived so fast made Nara believe that Thyferra wasn't far from the First Order, but then again she had no idea what the speed of this shuttle was.

One of them released her from the constraints of the chair, but made sure to secure the cuffs again as they left the ship.

Once again Nara kept her eyes and ear open for anything that might help the Resistance with determining where they were, but it appeared they hadn't landed on another planet. They had walked into a space just large enough for their shuttle to park in. Nara looked back over her shoulder. There was nothing behind them but space, but she couldn't recognize any of the planets, stars, or moons she saw.

They took her upwards with an elevator and entered a room which looked awfully similar to their own control room. There were rows and rows of stations with computers, but nobody seemed to be working behind them. In the middle was a circular table which displayed something holographic, but when she was about to take a closer look they pushed her forwards and down on her knees.

Her captor made sure she wouldn't fall over. Nara lifted her gaze, her eyes meeting with someone she knew all too well. He had ordered to have her killed before, and she could only hope she would have enough time to convince him to let her live this time.

"We found her on Thyferra."

"Thyferra?" Hux said thoughtful, as he brought his finger to his lip. "Why was she there?"

He took a step closer to her as he scanned her. Nara looked awfully out of place in her beige clothing.

"It doesn't matter. You did good by bringing her here. I am sure the Supreme Leader would be proud. Am I right in assuming you won't have any interest in the bounty on her head?"

"The satisfaction that comes with the success of this capture is more than enough for us, General."

Nara wanted to frown, but instead she kept her expression as neutral as possible. Her suspicions about these people had been confirmed. They were definitely not some traders or smugglers. They weren't interested in money, they were something more.

"What will you do with her?"

Hux raised his shoulders. "Kill her. We have no use for her. She isn't unlike the other one."

"Wait!" Nara protested. "I want to see Kylo first."

Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for Hux to reply. This was the moment where he was going to tell her he had dead. That he was killed on an exploding planet after being defeated by Rey.

"I think it is better if you do not," he replied as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

She closed her eyes. He was alive. Either Hux was messing with her, or he was alive.

"I can help him. He needs me."

"Someone else needs you, but that person isn't called Kylo Ren. Like I said, and I am sure the Supreme Leader would agree, it would be best for him if wouldn't see you. You might remind him of things he shouldn't remember."

He raised his fingers and motioned for her captors to step forward.

"Kill her."

Rough hands grabbed her by the collar of her jacket.

"NO!" Nara said as loud as she could. She wanted to lift her hands in defense but they were stuck behind her. "I have something you need."

Nara took a deep breath. She wasn't supposed to give up Luke's position so quickly, but she saw no other way they would let her live. She had to hope Rey and Chewie had gotten him out of there before the First Order would arrive.

Hux turned himself to her again. He cocked his eyebrow as he hesitated for a moment.

"What could you possibly have that we need?"

"I have the missing piece," she said, her voice trembling. "I've seen the map. I know where Luke Skywalker is."

He gave her hooded captors a short but stern nod, and they released their grip on her. He took a slow step forward.

"Tell me more."

* * *

 **A/N:** Things are really getting started now! This was quite a long chapter, which I hope you don't mind. I've got a lot I want to do with this story and the only way to solve this is by writing longer chapters. I promise you this will not affect my updating habits, which will still be multiple times a week - despite the length of chapters.

I've received some questions if I have an actress in mind for Nara, but I don't really. I always like to leave the way she looks up to my readers. Personally I always hate it when I envision someone in my head, and then that doesn't match with the appearance of the actor they cast for the movie. So no, I don't!

Again I received messages if I was quitting this story. If I will ever quit, you will hear it personally from me, and not from someone else. I don't have contact with anyone else and I'm not talking about this story with anyone else. So to get the record straight one final time: **I am not quitting this story!**

Next chapter will include something that has been requested for some time now, so you got that to look forward to ;)

As always, please leave a review with your thoughts. Especially now we're getting to 'uncharted waters' I would like to hear with you think. Please take care, and I will see you again soon! 3


	17. Chapter XVII

_Kylo felt something deep inside of him. It was like a wave that went through his body, sending shivers down his spine. He narrowed his eyes as he felt it again. Explosions went off around him, but he paid no attention to it. There was a disturbance in the Force. But it couldn't possibly be true. How could it be?_

 _He edged through the forest as he removed himself from the battlefront. The girl was close, he sensed it. His lightsaber ignited. This could all be over very quickly._

 _The girl shot her blaster as she stumbled backwards, trying to defend herself. Kylo was fast and deflected the shots with his lightsaber, the sparks hitting the rocks. He followed her slowly, knowing he could overpower her whenever he wanted._

 _She shot once more. Kylo dodged it and extended his arm, forcing the girl under his control. It was a power he had learned to master with the help of the Supreme Leader._

 _He kept her static as he moved closer towards her, keeping his lightsaber ignited by his side._

 _"The girl I've heard so much about," he spoke through his helmet._

 _Kylo was now standing right in front of her. He let his eyes scan the girl, wondering how she could possibly have so much power. Could it be that…?_ No _. He faintly shook his head and snapped out of his delusions. Of course she couldn't be._

 _He began to circle around her. The girl's eyes tried to follow him, but she couldn't do much while he had her under his control._

 _There that was that feeling again. Kylo stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel. He moved before the girl again. Was it her that was doing this to him? He knew there was someone else who could also make him feel this way, but that couldn't possibly cause this feeling._

 _He kept his eyes transfixed on the girl through the vizor of his helmet. She stood before him, trembling as her hand still firmly held onto the blaster._

 _When he heard footsteps coming from the west, he turned around. His heart began to pound, the feeling of unbalance in him growing bigger as the footsteps got louder._

 _"Ben."_

 _Kylo's body froze at the sound of his old name, but even more so when he saw who was standing before him._

 _Nara._

 _He flexed his fingers as he kept her in his sight. This was a dream, a cruel dream. It had to be. His breath got caught in his throat as he tried to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. It had been so long since he had seen her, but never for a moment had he forgotten what she looked like._

 _A pain inside of him began to tear him apart as his eyes found hers. She had always been able to see directly through him, and he was very glad he was wearing his helmet. He couldn't let whatever she was doing to him show. He couldn't be perceived as weak._

 _He lowered his gaze as he scanned the rest of her. She was wearing a Resistance fighter uniform. The orange and white harshly contrasted against the landscape of the planet. His heart began to sink._

 _"What are you doing here?" he hissed, not wanting to let his emotions be heard._

 _"Ben," Nara repeated._

 _Kylo closed his eyes at the sound of it. He took in a deep breath as he tried to remain calm. He had felt her presence the moment he had set foot on Takodana, but he didn't want to believe it was true. It had been so long since he had seen her. Why would she come to him now? Kylo still couldn't quite apprehend what was happening. Somewhere deep inside he hoped it all wasn't true. Yet his eyes weren't deceiving him, and judging by the pain inside of him he was fairly sure he was wide awake._

 _He raised his arm and lifted his lightsaber in the air. It crackled under the pressure. He pointed it towards her, trying to scare her away. She shouldn't be here._

 _"No one has dared to call me that for a long time," he said._

 _"You have to stop this, Ben," Nara shot back._

 _Kylo shook his head. Every time she spoke his name he was taken back. He felt the light side creep back inside him, and he couldn't allow that to happen. Ben didn't exist anymore, and for a long time he had banished Nara out of his heart._

 _"Stop what?" he replied as he lowered the lightsaber._

 _"Whatever you are doing. Take off that mask and come home."_

 _He chuckled darkly. It could never be that easy. The dark side had consumed him, and made him more strong and powerful than he could ever had hoped._

 _"What home? I have no home."_

 _Kylo turned his body back to the girl, who was still firmly under his grip. He narrowed his eyes as his mind began to work. It could hardly be a coincidence that the two of them were here at the same time. Was this a test? Did Snoke arrange this?_

 _"Are you with her?"_

 _Nara shook her head as she raised her hand. "I have never seen her before."_

 _For so long he had forced himself to not think about Nara, but she was the only thing of his past that he had trouble with letting go._

 _"Where is the droid?" Kylo said, focussing again. He had come here for the girl, and the droid. He needed that final piece of the map that would lead them back to Skywalker. He couldn't disappoint the Supreme Leader._

 _"You'll never get the droid, Ben. The Resistance is one step ahead of you."_

 _He let out a sigh as his eyes scanned her body once more. The uniform she was wearing angered him, but it was also a reminder that Nara might not be who he wanted her to be._

 _"You're with them now."_

 _His mask couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice. Leia Organa had taken her away from him._

 _"Of course I am, Ben," Nara shrugged._

 _He twitched at the sound of his name. She seemed to purposely use it as often as she could. He closed his eyes and flexed the fingers of his sword hand. He hadn't thought that seeing her again would bring out so much in him. For so long he had worked to banish the light side out of himself, and within an instant it was back. She triggered something in him which he had been told to repress._

 _This couldn't go along like this. Kylo spun on his heel and moved towards the girl again. He raised his arm and let his hand rest in front of her face. He let the Force do the work as the images that were in her head were transported to his. He saw flashes of Jakku. The droid. Something blue._

 _"You have seen the map," he concluded._

 _That final thing he saw. It had to be the be the map. It looked just like the pieces they had retrieved from the Empire. Kylo's mind began to work. He wouldn't need the droid if he could retrieve the map from the girl. He knew that he could get it, especially if the Supreme Leader would help him in doing so._

 _He hadn't forgotten about Nara. Perhaps she could be of use as well. She was obviously working closer with the Resistance. There was no doubt she knew many things that could be of use to the First Order. Kylo's eyes widened. He might be even able to convince her of the powers of the dark side. She had only seen the light, how could she judge what was best for her if she hadn't seen both sides like he had seen?_

 _"And you," Kylo said as he turned on his heel, but something required his attention first._

 _She had taken a shot at him. Kylo raised his lightsaber to deflect the rod that came flying towards him. With a swift movement he made it fly in the other direction._

 _His body froze as he cocked his head. He couldn't believe Nara would do that. It appeared she had been more possessed by the light and the lies that Leia Organa had told her than he had thought._

 _Kylo knew he shouldn't let her get away with this. If it had been anyone else he would've come for them with an ignited lightsaber which he would gladly pierce right through their hearts, but he couldn't with Nara. Instead of piercing her heart she had pierced his. Kylo thought he had convinced himself he was done with her, but it had only taken a mere moment to undo everything he had been working towards._

 _"If I were you I would never try to do that again," he said, his voice low._

 _With a simple flick of his wrist he pulled the blaster away from her. It landed right besides him, but he didn't bother to pick it up. He had no use for it, anyway._

 _The tension between them was building. Kylo took in a deep breath before releasing it slowly. Never would he have thought the day would progress like this. Never in a million years would he have thought he would ever see her again._

 _Two stormtroopers approached them from the side. Reluctantly he turned his head, snapping him out of the moment._

 _"Sir? Resistance fighters. We need more troops."_

 _He rolled his eyes. How could the Resistance be actually holding their own against the First Order? Hux promised him his soldiers were well trained, but even so the Resistance was able to stand a chance._

 _"Pull the division out," he ordered._

 _Kylo had gotten what he had came for. The girl would be able to act as a substitute for the droid. With her memories they could complete the map. How proud the Supreme Leader would be if he was able to finish it. Finally the last Jedi could be destroyed like he had destroyed the rest._

 _"Forget the droid. We have what we need."_

 _He turned himself to the girl again. With a simple motion he was able to make her lose consciousness. He didn't feel like having to put up with a fight._

 _"What about the other one?"_

 _Kylo narrowed his eyes. He couldn't bring himself to look at her again, fearing she might do or say something that would make him let her go. After all these years she was still able to influence him, and there was nothing he could do about it. Nara was a part of him, and it appeared that would never change no matter how hard he tried to eradicate his memories of her._

 _"Take her. She's part of the Resistance. She might be valuable."_

 _His voice was clear as he spoke, yet on the inside everything was far from clear. Nara had triggered something he thought he had suppressed years ago. She looked so much like he had remembered, and he couldn't let her go. Not this time. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. Perhaps with the help of the Supreme Leader he could convince her to stay. The dark side was more powerful, after all._

* * *

 **A/N:** Hopefully this was a surprise! I haven't done this before, but it had been requested a few times so I thought I might try it. I loved the idea of doing the same scene twice, but from a different point of view. Writing Kylo was definitely harder and a lot different than writing Nara, so I hope his views got across well.

The chapter isn't too long, but I'm currently in the middle of my finals so I thought a flashback chapter was the perfect way to keep this story updated while I study.

Please let me know if you would like more of this in the future. Please take care and until next time 3


	18. Chapter XVIII

Nara had given them the final piece of the map. She had tried to be as vague as possible when she described where Luke was supposed to be, but she knew the First Order would get there sooner, rather than later. Hopefully she had given Rey just enough time to get him out of there.

If Luke was still there Nara had just given them the exact route to the last Jedi. She had made it so easy for them to track him down she began to doubt whether she had made a mistake. By giving up his location she was able to save her own life, at least for a couple of days more. Was that worth the possible consequences this could have?

They had put her in another cell after she refused to give any more information about the Resistance. Hux had decided she was too valuable to loose, after all, but he didn't want her roaming the ship unaccompanied. The only solution was placing her back in custody.

Nara could feel the ship buzzing underneath her as she sat on her bed. They were definitely moving, but she had no idea if they were heading for something or just wandering around the galaxy. She figured there had to be more ships. This couldn't possibly transport all of their stormtroopers. Perhaps there was an entire fleet following them.

She pressed herself backwards against the wall, her feet stretched out in front of her. It was surprising how calm she was, but then again she had been a prisoner of the First Order for some time now. While Hux could be unpredictable her hopes were kept high by the fact that Kylo was still alive.

Her fingers found the chip behind her air. She could feel the shape of it underneath her fingers. All she needed to do was press it to let them know she was safe.

For a moment she hesitated. Her eyes shot around the room as she looked for something that might monitor everything that happened inside. The walls were dark and barren. Nothing seemed to be here that would be recording her, and if there was that would be a worry for later.

Nara pressed the chip. It still felt strange knowing it was connected to her brain, but it was a small price to pay. She heard the static of the line that connected her to the Resistance in her ear. They hadn't left any messages for her, but with one simple push she was able to record her own.

"This is Nara," she said in a muffled voice. She had butterflies in her stomach as she tried to think of what she was going to say. It all felt so surreal. She was a spy now, almost like the ones she had read about in books before.

"I'm safe. The First Order has captured me. In order to survive I had to give up Luke's location. Hopefully you got him out of there in time."

She didn't know what else she should say. There wasn't much else she had found out about the First Order. She didn't even know whose ship this was, or how long she was going to stay in this cell. Nara promised herself that once she would find out something more she would immediately contact them again. She was here for the Resistance after all.

Nara pressed the chip again. The static sound stopped humming in her ears and the room grew eerily quiet again. The cell seemed to be soundproof, nothing that was happening outside could be heard on the inside.

Her mind wandered to Kylo. She hadn't had the chance to properly process the fact that he was still alive. Hurt, but alive. She had no idea how bad Rey had wounded him during their duel, but then she remembered how Chewbacca had hit him with a bowcaster, and those things were incredibly powerful.

She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help but feel worried for him. After all that he had done she didn't want to see him hurt. He had done something that was unforgivable, yet she her feelings for him were still there. So often had she told herself to stop loving him, but it appeared that the heart wants what it wants.

Nara slid down on the bed as she tried to position herself as comfortably as possible. One again they failed to provide her with any blankets or pillows, but that seemed like to be the least of her worries. She closed her eyes, hoping she was able to turn off the thoughts that clouded her mind.

She had no idea how much time had passed when she woke again. The harsh interior lighting made it impossible to judge whether it was day or night. Nara yawned and rubbed her eyes. It had grown colder in her cell, which made her very grateful for her jacket. She had learned from the last time.

Her stomach was rumbling as time passed. With nothing to do she remained on the bed, hoping they would come for her soon. She remembered the message she had sent the Resistance before she went to sleep. Her finger quickly found the chip as she activated it.

"We will increase our efforts in retrieving Luke."

Leia's voice filled her head. It was a strange sensation yet very soothing at the same time. If Nara closed her eyes it was like she was standing right besides her. It made her feel safe, regardless of the message the general was bringing.

"I am very glad to hear you are safe, Nara. Keep up the good work."

The message stopped. Nara deactivated the chip and leaned backwards. _Keep up the good work_. She gave up Luke's position within the first hour of arrival and she hadn't even found anything to tell the Resistance.

She raised her hands to her face, rubbing her temples. Perhaps she had underestimated this whole spy thing. It was hard to discover things about the First Order while keeping a low profile and trying not to get killed at the same time. She needed more time to get adjusted to her role, but did she have that time?

The door of her cell opened. It made a creaking noise as it slid to the right, revealing a stormtrooper behind it. The stormtrooper wasn't like any of the ones Nara had seen before. While others wore simple white armor, the armor of this one was shiny silver. She could see herself in the reflection, and she could only hope she looked that bad due to the distortion of it.

The stormtrooper stepped forward and placed a plate in front of her on the bed. Nara's eyes widened as she crawled forward to grab it eagerly. They had brought her all kinds of different fruits, some of which she didn't even recognize. To be safe she bit down into a pear, but it tasted rather different than she had expected.

"When you finish eating," the chrome Stormtrooper began. The female voice took her by surprise. All the other stormtroopers had been males.

"Kylo Ren has requested your presence."

Her breath got caught in her throat and for a moment she forgot she had to swallow her fruit. Immediately the pushed the plate forward, her hunger disappearing like snow before the sun.

"Done," Nara spoke hastily.

It took her just a second to stand up and move before her. She extended her arms, exposing her wrists in front of the stormtrooper. Her heart began to beat faster as she anxiously waited for her to cuff her hands.

Something seemed to hold the stormtrooper back. Nara kept her gaze focussed on the visor, hoping she would see how much she needed to see him. After a short amount of time that felt like an hour she nodded to her troops behind her. They stepped forward and placed then constraints back on her hands before taking her by her arm and guiding her through the ship.

Nara narrowed her eyes as she noticed they had dropped the ramp, opening it up to the outside world. There was no galaxy at the end of it. Instead the lightness of whatever was out there seemed to blind her for a few seconds. While her cell had been brightly lit it couldn't compare to the natural light that seemed to be coming from outside.

They had landed on a planet. She felt her muscles stiffening as they stepped outside. The air was a lot warmer than she had expected. The snow that had been on the Starkiller was no where to be found, and neither was the lush landscape that had covered the planet. Wherever they were, it was a barren wasteland. The ground was made of what looked like red clay, with shallow cracks that seemed to go on for miles. There were no mountains, no nature, just buildings that seemed to have popped up out of nothing.

The chip behind her ear burned. This was information for the Resistance. The First Order had relocated to a new planet, but where? She turned her head upwards to the skies, trying to see if she could locate any other systems, but there was nothing but clouds which seemed to conceal the location of wherever they had brought her.

In silence they marched over the clay towards the biggest building that stood in the middle of some others. It was taller than the rest of them and the grayness of it contrasted against the redness of the soil. Nara could see a large hangar to her right. TIE fighters stood in front of it, and all around her stormtroopers were scrambling around to get things done.

Inside they entered a large space with rooms leading to different wings of the building. A transparent elevator stood in the middle, transporting people upwards and downwards. Nara admired the skill with which everything was done. On the outside the building looked like something that had quickly been thrown together, but on the inside it was almost _beautiful._ It was obvious that they have been here longer than she had expected. This place existed even before the Starkiller.

They took her inside of the elevator. Nara balanced herself as they moved down, instead of up. The hall disappeared and made way for blackness. It took a few seconds before something appeared again.

The fingers of the stormtroopers wrapped around her arms as they led her through a system of corridors. Nara tried to remember the way they had come from, but after they had turned so many corners she had given up. It was like they made these places purposely complicated so outsiders couldn't find their way out, or in.

When they stopped in front of a door her chest tightened. Was this it? It looked just like the others, but then again she wouldn't know why Kylo would have a different door. Maybe she expected more.

The chrome stormtrooper knocked on the door after taking off the ties that were wrapped around her wrists. Nara heard no reply, yet she opened it anyway. She then turned around to grab her before pushing her forwards inside. Without warning she closed the door behind her.

Nara looked over her shoulder, confused as to why they would let her alone with him so soon. When she turned her head back, and lifted her eyes from the ground, she saw him. Her breath was trapped in her throat as she tried to say something, but she had no idea what.

Kylo was seated on the edge of his bed, his back towards her. He leaned forward, his head bowing low. He was dressed in all black, but not the clothing she was used to seeing him in. Right next to him machines were bleeping, monitoring his vitals. Its steady sound filled the room, yet that was the only thing that was steady about the situation.

"What were you doing on Thyferra?" he spoke, his voice low and stern.

Even though he wasn't wearing the mask, the tone of his voice made her core shake.

"There was no other way for me to get to the First Order," Nara replied. She couldn't help but notice how hoarse she sounded. Hopefully it would conceal all the lies she was about to tell.

Kylo ran his fingers through his hair as he kept his back towards her.

"Why would you want to get to the First Order? You are part of the Resistance, are you not?"

Nara swallowed before continuing. Every word she spoke had to be chosen carefully. She had hoped Kylo would've been happy to see her, and that hope had only increased when he had called for her. Yet the hostility towards her proved that he wasn't quite ready to believe what she was truly doing here, and maybe rightly so. She as a spy after all.

"Maybe I'm not anymore," Nara replied.

The words felt strange as they came from her mouth. She had been loyal to the Resistance for her entire life, even pretending she was not anymore made her feel uncomfortable.

"I don't believe you."

Her heart sank as she let the words get through her head. She had her back glued against the door, but she knew that wasn't opening unless Kylo wanted it to open. Her eyes scanned the room for his lightsaber, but it was noticeably absent.

"Kylo," she started. "Please, I am telling the truth. Maybe you were right about the Dark Side."

"Did you not see me kill him? I know you were there. You mourned his loss, I felt it. You hated me for doing it."

Nara nodded slowly, even though he wasn't able to see her.

"Of course I mourned him. How could I not? But that has nothing to do with the fact that I came here voluntarily. The Resistance doesn't know."

She took a hesitant step forward.

"When Rey came back and told me she had left you behind, I was so concerned. I didn't know whether you were dead or alive. I had no idea how badly injured you were. Perhaps you have mistaken my mourning for you as my mourning for Han."

Nara couldn't believe how easily the lies rolled off her tongue. It was like she didn't even had to think about what she was saying, and that scared her a little.

Her eyes lowered down to his hands as she noticed how they gripped the sheet on the bed. Sometimes she wished she was force-sensitive so she would know what he was feeling, and what he was thinking. He had always been unpredictable, but ever since he had been Snoke's apprentice he was truly reckless.

"Kylo, please," Nara tried once more. "I've come here for you."

He stood up and remained standing for a moment, his hands curling in and out of fists. The beeping on the machines seemed to speed up, but he paid no attention to it.

Nara found herself moving towards him, and when she stood right behind him she let her hand touch his shoulder blades. She felt the heat of his body through the fabric, and when he didn't flinch at her touch she led her hand slide down.

He spun on his heel. She noticed the bandages on his side poking through his shirt, and she could see another on his left shoulder.

She raised her eyes to his face and for a moment she felt the world spin away underneath her feet. Nara lifted her fingers to his face, as she for a moment forgot how to breathe. A large scar now divided his face in half. Rey had cut him right from his eyebrow to his cheek.

"I'm so sorry," she muttered softly, her eyes finding his as she lowered her fingers again. Nara had no idea Rey had been so powerful. It was obvious she had underestimated her power, and maybe Kylo had as well.

The pain in his eyes was indisputable, but it was impossible to make it whether it because he was wounded or because she was here.

"Please say something," Nara spoke as she felt tears welling up in the corner of her eyes. The silence was deafening, and the tension between them kept increasing with every second that passed.

"I'll go if you want me to."

His hand grabbed her wrist suddenly, catching Nara by surprise. She lifted her eyes again, letting them meet his.

"No," Kylo stated firmly. "If what you are saying is true, then stay."

Nara couldn't hold herself back. She stood on her toes as her arms wrapped around his neck before pressed her face against his neck. After everything that he had done, he still smelled so _safe_. It was as if nothing could happen to her for as long as she was in his arms.

His hands moved to the small of her back, and when he gripped her a little tighter she realized she wasn't hurting him.

She would never have dared to dream that she would be in this position again. When Starkiller Base had blown up right in front of her eyes, she feared Kylo to be dead, and if he was alive she would never expected her to be back in his arms again.

Yet it was all happening again, and Nara wasn't sure anymore if the lies she had told him were truly lies after all.

* * *

 **A/N:** Woohoo! Back together again! This was a lot of fun to write, and I will enjoy the following chapters even more. I have a lot of ideas where I can take this story, so expect a lot more chapters to come!

As always, please leave a review with your thoughts, and hopefully I will see you next time. Take care 3


	19. Chapter XIX

Nara pulled back from their embrace, letting her forehead rest again his as she felt his breath on her skin. She could feel the grip of his fingers on her hips increasing, as if he wasn't ready to let go yet.

She had no idea how he was able to stand up after being hit by a bowcaster, cut in his shoulder and across his face. The amount of pain he was able to endure was incredible, and Nara figured that it was the dark side which was helping him get through.

"Will you tell me what happened out there?" she asked before lowering herself back on her feet so she could look him in the eye.

Kylo shook his head. "Another time."

"When are you going to get to Luke?"

She had so many questions and not enough time to ask them. Nara knew she should be asking this all for the sake of the Resistance, but she couldn't deny she was personally also very curious. She wanted to know what had happened with Rey. What was going to happen? What was the First Order's next step? But above all, how did she fit into all of this?

"How do you know we completed the map?" Kylo asked as he ruffled his brows.

"They didn't tell you?" Nara scoffed, although what else did she expect. Of course Hux was going to pretend he had retrieved the final piece and take all the credit.

"I _gave_ it to him. If I hadn't done so they would have killed me. Hux wasn't that particularly pleased to see me."

"He will never be able to threaten you like that again," Kylo grumbled. She could hear him curse under his breath. "I will make sure of it."

His words not only flattered her, they truly mattered. In a place like this, Nara had to be on guard all the time. In any second it could be decided she wasn't necessary anymore, with only Kylo to help her. As strange as it sounded, he was the only one who was on her side.

Nara's body shook in surprise when the door opened behind her. She looked over her shoulder to find the chrome stormtrooper appear again.

She wanted to take a step backwards, knowing that the Jedi weren't allowed to be involved in any relationship, but when Kylo didn't move an inch, she figured she didn't have to either. Either Snoke didn't mind Kylo doing this, or Kylo didn't care what he thought of it. The rules of whatever this was were a lot different than that of the Jedi.

"Sir? The Supreme Leader has requested your presence immediately."

Kylo nodded and strode past Nara. She could see a slight limp in his walking, and she began to wonder in how much pain he truly was.

Before he was able to disappear he looked over his shoulder.

"Take care of her for me," he ordered the stormtrooper, who nodded slowly.

Apparently Kylo's words had meant little to the stormtrooper. While she had been escorted away from his room, she had taken Nara to an even lower level of the building and to what looked like another cell. It was bigger than the last one, and luckily this one had a decent bed and a window looking out onto nothing.

When the door closed behind her Nara realized how hungry she was. She had eaten one bite of the fruit they had given her, but it was her own fault for not eating more. The prospect of seeing Kylo again had been more important at that time than filling her stomach. Her gaze scanned the room as she tried to think of ways to occupy herself and her mind until Kylo would want her to return.

She rubbed her wrists where the stormtrooper had tied her as she moved to the window. The only thing she could see was the red clay going on for miles and miles. This planet seemed to be just a resting place for the First Order. She couldn't see any stormtroopers training, nor had she seen anything that might point to them planning to destroy another system again.

Nara sat down on her bed and positioned herself so she could look outside. Even though nothing was happening, watching the sun set was enough to keep her mind busy. She reminded herself that somewhere her friends and family were also watching it either set or rise, and it made her feel connected. Connected to a side she was forgetting more and more with every second she was here.

It didn't take long before someone appeared in her cell again. Nara quickly stood up and raised her chin, but when she saw it was Kylo she let her shoulder drop and took a step forward.

"Something wrong?" she said.

He extended his arm as the door closed behind him. In his hands he was holding something that looked like a grey uniform.

"Put this on."

Nara shuffled closer and accepted his gift. Her fingers felt the fabric as she scanned what he had given her. Like she expected, it was a uniform consisting of grey trousers and a soft grey shirt. Across his arm was a jacket that was also part of it.

When her eyes fell on the First Order insignia she raised her eyebrows slightly, but Kylo had appeared to notice it either way.

"You are part of us now, Nara. The Resistance is dead."

She nodded, trying to convince herself of his words. He was right, she couldn't keep on pretending she still had some sort of empathy to the Resistance. It wouldn't look right. In order for her to succeed she had to completely turn to the First Order, as hard as it would be.

"Turn around," she said as her eyes met his.

A soft smirk played on his lips as he hesitantly turned. Seeing him smile again, even slightly, did something to her she couldn't explain. Her heart fluttered as she quickly pulled off her own beige clothing and put on the grey he had given her. It all fit her perfectly, and even though a First Order insignia was now gracing her arm, it didn't feel as bad as she had expected. Soon she wouldn't know any better.

She touched his arm to let him know she was finished. Kylo spun on his heel as his eyes went up and down her body.

"You look perfect," he spoke.

Nara could feel her cheeks reddening, as she shyly averted her gaze.

Kylo took a step forward and slid his hand in hers, pulling her softly towards the bed in the corner.

"Please, sit. I want to tell you something."

She nodded and did what he had asked of her. Patiently she waited for Kylo to sit next to her. Their legs rested against each other but she didn't mind the contact. Every second she was in his presence she began to crave his touch more and more, but she didn't want to initiate anything. While she couldn't deny her feelings for him, this was still Kylo Ren she was speaking of, and just because she hadn't seen his lightsaber didn't mean he wasn't capable of doing other things.

"The information you've given us has been of great help," he began. "It will lead us to Skywalker, and then I will finally be able to finish what I should have done years ago."

"You'll kill him," Nara concluded, quickly looking away from his gaze so he couldn't see the pain in his eyes.

"Yes. The First Order will never be able to succeed if there are still Jedi around. Skywalker is the last one."

A memory of Luke popped in her head. She had seen him when he had come to take Ben to train with him. While she had seen hints of Ben's interest in the dark side before, she had just brushed it off as curiosity. In that moment she would never have expected that he was going to kill his own uncle, but then again that seemed like a small thing compared to what he had done to Han.

Her gaze found his again as she tried to keep her expression as neutral as possible.

"Don't leave," Kylo spoke. His hand suddenly gripped her knee.

"I'm not going anywhere," Nara replied, a reassuring smile playing on her lips.

He shook his head. "No. I don't want to see you live in this cell. Stay with _me_."

Nara's heart skipped a beat as she went over what he was suggesting. She bit her lip in silence as the butterflies in her stomach began to flutter. _I'm here for the Resistance,_ she told herself. _I am a spy for the Resistance._ But when Kylo's hand moved from her knee to the inside of thigh she wasn't sure what she was here for anymore.

Her eyes went from his hand to his gaze. She could see both pain and desire, as if she was tormenting him and he had to choose between sending her away or letting her stay.

"Stay," he repeated, his voice hushed.

Nara swallowed before she began to nod. "Always."

A relieved smile unraveled on his face. Kylo leaned forward, his other hand cupping her cheek as he gently pressed his lips against hers.

Before she allowed their kiss to deepen she pulled her head back, closing her eyes for just a second before looking at him again.

"What will Snoke do if he sees us together?"

"The Supreme Leader will not mind. I need to get stronger, and you are helping me get there. Sending you away would only complicate matters."

"Does that mean that you missed me?" Nara said teasingly.

Kylo's expression hardened as his other hand found her other cheek, forcing her to look at him.

"Every day, Nara. All the things that I've done, the hardest part was leaving you behind."

"Then never do it again," she replied, her eyes never leaving his.

"I won't," he spoke firmly. "That is why I want you to come with me tomorrow. We're going to get Skywalker."

Nara frowned as she slightly moved her head back. Of course they were going after him with the first chance they got, but for some reason she still hoped they would postpone it for as long as they could. She also didn't understand why he would want to have her there. Was he trying to prove something to her?

"Why?" she asked as she narrowed her eyes.

"I want you to see the power of the dark side when I take him down."

The aggressiveness in his voice should scare her, but it didn't. Instead, she worried for both Luke and Kylo. The last thing she wanted to see was Luke dying at the hands of his former apprentice, and above all, she feared for Kylo. While he was pretending Han's death wasn't affecting him, she knew deep down he was struggling with it. Instead of talking about his feelings he had chosen to suppress them, just like Snoke had instructed him.

"Are you fit enough to go?" Nara raised her eyebrows. "I saw you limping. You were hit by a _bowcaster_ , Kylo. And have you seen your own face?"

He averted his gaze.

"I have seen it. _Yes._ "

Nara sighed as she closed her eyes. She didn't mean it like that.

"Kylo, I'm sorry," she said as she took his hands into hers. "You know that scar is not going to change anything. If anything, it makes you look rather bad ass."

She had hoped his comment would make him smile, but the stern and distant look remained. To try to make things better Nara leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his lips.

"I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"Don't be," he finally replied. "It is obvious you do not know what powers I possess. With the help of Snoke and the Force I recovered much more quickly than any _Jedi_ would."

He spoke his words with a sense of disgust. Nara still had so much to learn about the dark side, and the First Order. Everything that she had gathered from his training with Luke seemed to be at contrast with the way Snoke worked.

She realized there was nothing she could do to talk him out of it. She wanted him to stay here, both for his sake and for the Resistance. Nara knew Rey had flown to Luke's location as soon as she could, but she didn't know how much time she would need to convince him to get out of there. Maybe they had stayed. Rey was force sensitive after all. For all she knew they could be training right now.

"When are you going?"

"Tomorrow," Kylo spoke. "Are you coming with me?"

 _Tomorrow._ It was so soon. Too soon. She needed to prepare herself, mostly mentally than physically. What was she going to do if Luke was still there and he would see her? She didn't want him to think she had turned to the dark side, but she also couldn't reveal her position.

What she feared the most was that something might be expected of her. She wouldn't be able to kill, if that was what was desired of her. Was Kylo taking her with him as some kind of test? Was this the time she should prove she truly had renounced the Resistance, or did he truly just want her to be close to him?

"Yes," Nara replied, trying to sound as confident as she possibly could, even though the decision was tearing her apart.

She looked out of the window, finding it had grown dark outside. Her gaze found the stars, as if she could find the answers within. She had worked herself in a difficult position. Every decision she made could result in the death of someone she loved, on both sides of the Force.

Kylo led her back to his room through the labyrinth of corridors. Nara had no idea how he was able to navigate it, but she tried her best to remember it all. The lack of constraints around her wrists felt strange and awkward. Never before had she been allowed to wander around something of the First Order by herself.

Stormtroopers had brought in food, which they ate at the table in his room. Now she was able to take a good look at it, the room was a lot bigger than her cell had been. It had a good bathroom, and if she didn't know any better it almost looked like a normal apartment.

Nara eagerly dug into her food. Occasionally she found Kylo looking at her, but for the moment being she had more interest in her fruit than anything else.

"Who is that silver stormtrooper and why is she like that?" Nara asked after a long silence had fallen.

"She's Captain Phasma," Kylo replied. "A great leader."

Nara nodded slowly. She had so much to learn about this place, from all their names to what everyone's job was. She had no idea what the rules were. How did she have to behave? Were there things that she wasn't allowed to see?

Her eyes widened as she remembered. Nara dropped her fork, before awkwardly picking it up again. She had forgotten to contact the Resistance. They were going to get to Luke' position tomorrow, that was something that they needed to know.

Quickly she finished her dinner and waited until Kylo had done also. There was no way she could contact them with him in the same room. Nara looked over her shoulder to the bathroom. It was the only place where she could be alone.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?" Nara asked, not sure why she was asking permission but then again, it was his room and not hers.

Kylo nodded as he motioned it was alright for her to go.

When Nara almost headed inside he raised his voice again. She rested her hand on the doorpost as she slowly turned her body around, cocking her eyebrow ever so slightly.

"I can join you if you want."

The smirk that covered his expression made her heart skip a beat, and she had to admit there was nothing she wanted more. But Nara had to contact the Resistance and she had to do it now. If she told them right away they might be able to get Rey out of there as quickly as possible.

"Another time, Kylo," she spoke.

She slipped inside before she was able to change her mind. Nara pressed her back against the door, breathing in and out slowly. How was she ever going to manage being a spy for the Resistance while her love for Kylo only seemed to grow with every second the was by his side? Her head might remember all the things he had done, but her heart didn't seemed to mind.

Nara turned on the shower, letting the water fall down as steam filled the room. It provided just enough noise for her to record her message without him being able to hear her.

She sat down on the ground, her fingers pressing the chip. There were no new messages for her, but she figured no news was good news.

"The First Order is going to Luke's location _tomorrow_ ," Nara spoke, putting emphasis on the final part. "I hope you were able to get him out of there. Kylo will kill him if he gets the chance."

She stopped recording. They didn't need to know she was going with the First Order to the location. Not only did she want them to worry about her, she didn't want to give them the idea she was in so deep already.

To keep up the illusion and lie, she jumped under the shower, making sure she did everything quickly after she spent some time recording the message. Under no circumstances could Kylo get the idea she was doing something else. If there was one person who couldn't turn against her it was him. Whether she liked it or not, Nara needed him to survive.

It wasn't until she had gotten out she noticed there was a neat pile of clothing next to the sink. She frowned as she shuffled closer after wrapping herself in a towel. Her gaze scanned it, and she was surprised he had provided her with extra stuff. Kylo had obviously planned that she was going to stay here.

When she left the bathroom she noticed Kylo had already climbed into bed. For a moment the entire situation felt awkward. It had been so long since she had done this she had forgotten what it was like.

Kylo's expression softened when his eyes fell on her. Nara raised her thumb to her lip as she looked down to the ground. She was dressed in a simple black t-shirt that was long enough for her to serve as a dress.

"Don't look at me like that," Nara said shyly as she shuffled closer, climbing in besides him.

"I'm not doing anything," he replied while he kept his gaze on hers.

He placed his arm next to him so Nara was able to get close to him. The moment she placed her head on his bare chest it all felt normal again. The awkwardness disappeared and her heartbeat steadied. She knew this was where she belonged.

* * *

 **A/N:** Oops, I couldn't help myself. I just had to write another chapter, but I'm sure you won't mind :) There seemed to be a problem with the reviews again, but it looks like they're showing up normally now.

I'm enjoying writing this relationship so so much. The thing I really want to get across is the fact that Kylo just seems to jump in the relationship again like nothing has happened, while Nara is struggling a little bit more. I also really like how they're both at opposite ends. Kylo struggles with the light side, and Nara with the dark side. Let's see how it will end ;)

So, as always, please leave a review with your thoughts. Please take care, and I will see you again soon!


	20. Chapter XX

The bed was cold and empty when she awoke the next morning. Nara blew the hair away that hung in front of her face, and pushed herself upwards. She blinked a few times until she realized she was all alone. The sun outside was rising. It cast a red glow upon the already red planet.

Nara felt goosebumps forming on her skin when she comprehended how much the temperature had dropped. She quickly climbed out of the bed and moved to the bathroom, wondering where Kylo was and why he hadn't woken her up. She quickly took another shower to warm up her body a little, before putting on the same uniform she had worn the day before.

She noticed how Kylo had placed a second toothbrush neatly next to his. He really seemed to have thought of everything. Nara began to feel more like a guest rather than a prisoner, and that felt good.

In the reflection of the mirror she saw the First Order's insignia. Her hand went up to her shoulder as her finger found the emblem. Nara reminded herself it meant nothing. It was just something that had been sewn to a grey top. It was meaningless if she did not give it any meaning.

When Nara was finished, Kylo's room was still deserted. While she pushed the final pin in her hair to secure it out of the way, she moved to the door. Her hand rested above the door handle as she hesitated for a moment.

Then her fingers gripped the handle and Nara opened the door. Her heart was pounding in her chest when she realized it actually opened. She was surprised and relieved at the same time Kylo had put so much trust in her. It meant she was doing her job well and he was believing all the lies she had fed him.

Nara popped her head through the doorpost, looking outside. No one seemed to be present, and when she found she didn't have any reason to leave his room, she went inside again. She released her breath as she closed the door behind her. Maybe Kylo had forgotten her and went to get Luke without her. The prospect of it didn't anger her, in fact, she'd rather not go with him at all if it were up to her.

A weight pressed against the door. Nara stepped forward as it immediately opened behind her. It was Kylo, carrying something in his arms which she could not place. Her heart pounded as she waited for him to speak with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"We're leaving in an hour," he spoke as he extended his arm to give her what he was holding.

Nara accepted it, and then she noticed it was like the armor the stormtroopers wore, but black.

"What's this for?" she asked as she placed it out on the table, her eyes gliding over the material. She didn't want to fight, but it was getting obvious he was expecting she would fight. Why else would he provide her with this?

"I have something else," he said, ignoring her question.

Kylo moved to the bed and lowered himself down on his knees. He grabbed something from under the bed, which appeared to be a metal suitcase. Nara shuffled closer, her gaze following his hands closely as he opened it up.

"You're gonna need this."

It was a blaster. Nara's breath was trapped in her throat as he gave it to her. Judging by the lack of scratches or anything else that would indicate it was used, the weapon was brand new. She could see herself in the reflection of it. It was unlike any she had ever seen.

"It is mine," Kylo said as he came to stand next to her. "But I obviously have no use for it."

Nara nodded as she forced a smile on her lips. It wasn't that she didn't know how to use one. She had more than enough experience with firing blasters. It was just that she didn't want to use it. When Kylo told her she was coming with him she had held onto the belief he wasn't going to let her fight, not truly. She thought she was just there to be by his side and support him. There was no way she was ready to injure someone, or even worse, kill someone.

The blaster felt heavy in her hands. She was flattered he would give his own to her, but it only raised expectations.

"Thank you," Nara said, looking up into his eyes.

Kylo nodded satisfied. He bowed his hand low to plant a kiss on her lips.

She forgot to close her eyes. Her mind was too occupied with the prospect of having to engage in real combat to think about anything else. She had no idea if Luke was by himself, or if there were others. What if he was training new Jedi? She couldn't kill or even hurt younglings.

"I'll better go and put this on," Nara spoke as she hurried towards the table where she had put the armor.

Her fingers wrapped around the plastoid as she made her way for the bathroom. The door closed behind her with a loud bang. Nara threw the armor on the ground and moved to the mirror, resting her hands on each side of the sink as she leaned forward.

She tried to take control of her breathing, but the prospect of going with Kylo to Luke's location was so daunting it made her head spin. She had hoped there was a way to stay back, even stay here, but everything he had given her led her to believe that active participation was definitely required.

Nara closed her eyes and shook her head. _No._ She didn't even know if he was going to bere there. She didn't know whether there would be other people. The Resistance were there first, and she had to trust them for getting Luke out of there in time. For all she knew they entire location would be deserted, and she wouldn't even have to fire her blaster.

Still her fingers trembled as she put on the armor. Nara had taken off the jacket that came with her uniform and placed the plastoid over the black tank top she was wearing. Once it was on it felt awkward and lopsided. She jumped back and forth on her feet, trying to get the feeling of it, but it was very different than she had expected. How did the stormtroopers do anything in this stuff?

Kylo was ready and waiting for her when Nara appeared again. She had managed to calm herself down. She had to have faith the Resistance had done its job. Nothing was going to happen out there.

She moved towards him, still trying to figure out how she should move around with the armor on, but it got better with every step she took.

A hint of a smile played on his lips as he watched her come to him. Nara shook her head warningly. She felt as ridiculous as this entire mission was. How did Leia ever agree to let her come here? While she had prepared Nara for the worst that could happen, it turned out to be much more difficult in reality than she had expected. The things the First Order did was unlike anything she had ever done before, and nothing could've prepared her for it.

"What happened to your mask?" Nara asked after she realized Kylo was dressed in his usual attire, which notably missed the thing that made him so menacing and cruel.

"It's destroyed. I'm having them construct a new one for me."

Nara narrowed her eyes as she reached out touch his cheek, her thumb gently running over the edge of his scar.

"You don't need one, Kylo. You don't have to be like him in everything that you do. With the power of the dark side you can be anyone you want. Don't you want to remembered as Kylo Ren, and not Darth Vader's grandson?"

She had no idea where the words had come from or what she was trying to do in general. Deep inside she knew this was a last attempt to instill any form of light in him. If she could get him to turn away from Darth Vader maybe he would realize everything he was doing was wrong.

He moved his gaze from her eyes and stared in the distance. The silence that followed either meant he was trying to convince himself that what he doing was the right thing, or he was taking what Nara had said into account.

When he finally looked in her eyes again his words were short and stern.

"We have to go."

Stormtroopers were waiting for them outside of Kylo's room. They followed the two of them closely as they made their way upwards with the glass elevator and went outside. Nara's heart was beating faster with every step they took.

Kylo's command shuttle was placed in front of the main building, ready to go. Even more stormtroopers formed a line that led to the ramp of the ship, creating a pathway. They held blasters in their hand, but Nara figured that was more a formality than a practicality.

Before they went outside he pulled his hoods over his face, casting it in complete darkness. Even without his mask he was unrecognizable to the man she knew him to be. Sometimes she wondered how he could show her so much affection and be possessed by so much darkness at the same time.

A group of soldiers were waiting on the ramp. Nara stopped in her tracks when she recognized who they were, quickening her pace again when she bumped into the stormtrooper behind her. It were the same people who had captured her on Thyferra.

"Who are they?" Nara whispered to Kylo, her eyes focussed on the soldiers.

"The Knights of Ren," he simply stated as he continued his path.

It wasn't until she realized how similar their clothing were to Kylo's that it dawned on her that he had taken on Ren as his last name. All the puzzle pieces began to fit together. That was why they were treated differently to general bounty hunters. Kylo was their leader, of course they weren't going to take the money that was on her head. The pride of brining in Nara was more than any bounty could ever be worth.

Nara bit her lip as she placed her foot on the ramp, entering Kylo's shuttle. Nobody paid any attention to her, which was something to get used to. Never before had she been able to walk around unnoticed. She promised herself she would keep her eyes and ears open for anything that she could pick up. There was no doubt that something would be said that could be of help to the Resistance.

"Just stay close to me, okay?" Kylo told her as the ramp closed behind her.

She nodded and followed him closely to the bridge overlooking the control room. The ship was commanded by several pilots, and the moment they set foot inside Kylo began to give out orders.

Nara took a step back, overviewing the situation. She was still unsure of her position in all of this. Why Kylo wanted her here with him still remained a mystery to her. It wasn't a case of having her close anymore. Nara began to wonder if it all was a test to see how far she would go.

The shuttle took off, sending red dust up into the air all around them. For a mission of this calibre they were only few troops with them. Nara looked over her shoulder to see the Knights of Ren discussing something amongst each other. Behind them was just one squad of stormtroopers, all waiting patiently until it was their time to engage in combat. It was obvious Kylo didn't want to draw too much attention, but Nara mostly figured he wanted this kill for himself.

It didn't take long before they accelerated to hyperspeed. A crew of pilots flew them to their objective, while Kylo looked on. She had placed herself in the back of the control room, seated on a chair she had retrieved from a nearby post.

The computer systems standing so close were calling for her. With a couple of lines of codes she knew she would be able to enter the system of the First Order. Nara brought her thumb to her lip, her teeth finding the edge of her nail. If she would be able to hack her way in she would be able to send the Resistance all the informations she could possibly find…

She felt the chip behind her ear. It was ever present and even though it was tiny it was weighing her down. She had uncovered so little information yet, and she was finding it harder to help them than she had expected. Doing spy work while at the same time keeping her cover was difficult, especially now that Kylo never truly left her side.

When she heard someone say they were approaching the location she got up and shuffled closer to the window. Maybe if she still saw the Falcon she cold pretend she was fainting, or maybe let her blaster go off by accident, anything to distract them from Rey and Luke.

A small group of islands were now on the horizon. They were tall, as if they had erupted from the sea and tried to reach the skies. Grass covered the sufrace and from this distance Nara couldn't see anyone. Her chest tightened. Maybe they got out of there in time. Maybe there was still hope yet.

They landed on the biggest of the islands, Kylo's shuttle proving to be disproportionally large in comparison to the land. Nara felt the muddy ground slip away underneath her feet as she breathed in the fresh air. The wind was cold but refreshing, and she would trade this anytime for the red planet the First Order had chosen.

She felt her heartbeat quickening as they went off. Kylo had gained information from his Knights of Ren that the Jedi Temple was supposedly at the top of the island. Nara hadn't seen it when they were coming down from the skies, but then again she had been busy with finding if she could see Rey.

While she hadn't looked, Kylo had ignited his lightsaber. It had been a while since she had seen it, but it was nevertheless and impressive sight. If anything, it looked even more menacing and unstable than ever. Red sparks flew off the hilt whenever he swung it, and the hum of it made her ears ring.

He took the lead, followed by his Knights who were then followed by the unit of stormtroopers. Nara went last, and nobody seemed to mind she did. On their way over she had hoped she could stay behind on the ship and wait for them to return, but the way Kylo had led her down the ramp informed her that that wouldn't be possible.

She held her blaster in one hand as it dangled by her side, not bothering to keep her fingers on the trigger or take off the safety. No one would be shot today, at least not by Nara, not yet.

Many steps led up to the top. Nara placed her feet on them carefully. The wetness of the stone was slippery and she didn't want to embarrass herself by falling. Every so often the stormtrooper in front of her offered her his hand and helped her up a particularly steep step. Nara smiled gratefully, wondering if the person underneath the armor actually cared or was just following orders to keep her safe.

Nara was out of breath when they reached the top. Her eyes found Kylo, even though he blended in among the darkness of the uniforms, his stature and red lightsaber made him stand apart. He was pacing up and down, as he tried to search for something.

It wasn't until then when Nara realized they were standing among ruins. This was the temple Luke had been hiding in. Once it would have been a beautiful sight, but now nothing of it was left but a few upright pillars and stone tiles that covered the ground.

She hunched her shoulders as she looked around. They were gone. There was no one here. She wanted to laugh but instead she kept her gaze as neutral as possible, doing her best to not let anything show. Rey had done it. They had escaped the grasp of Kylo Ren. Imagine what would have happened if he had found both of them here. Nara didn't want to think about it.

Her body shook in surprise when one of the Knights of Ren barged forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her forward.

"You told us Skywalker would be here," he spoke, his voice muffled by the mask, but Nara could still here the anger in his voice.

"I said this was his location," she replied, keeping her gaze fixed on his as she pulled her arm back. "I never promised he would be here."

"Where is he, then?"

Nara shook her head as she raised her left arm. She still had the blaster in her right hand, and while she didn't want to use it on anyone else, she had no problem with using it on this person.

"How do I know? I've been with you the entire time."

The knight didn't respond to her reply and spun on his heel, moving to Kylo who was being remarkably quiet.

"She is lying. She knows where he is. This is the wrong location, I can _feel_ it."

Nara opened her mouth again to speak, but she was quickly shut up by Kylo who took a step forward before he began to circle the ruins of the temple.

"No. She was not wrong. He was here. Luke Skywalker was here."

He stopped in front of the knight who had voiced his concerns.

"Do not speak to me about _feeling_ the Force again. It is not a power you possess."

The knight bowed his head low, accepting what Kylo had said to him. Never before had Nara seen him in action like this. The only Kylo she knew was the one she saw when she was alone with him, but he appeared to be very different than when he was surrounded by his Knights of Ren.

"Nara," he then said as he took large strides towards her. "Tell me where else he could be. Killing him is a crucial part to the First Order, you remember that right?"

"I do remember," she spoke, trying to soothe him as much as she could. She understood this was an incredible disappointment for him, but it wouldn't be for the Resistance. "But I don't know. The Resistance only had this location, nothing else. Luke didn't sent them any messages at all."

"Contact them," Kylo ordered.

She ruffled her brows as her heartbeat increased. Did he know about the chip?

"Go back to the shuttle, and contact them. I know you can do it."

"I can't," Nara exclaimed, taking a slow step back as she narrowed her eyes in confusion. "They wouldn't tell me anything."

"You can _try_."

She couldn't try. The moment she would come into contact with them they could reveal her position. How could they guess she was reaching out to them to get information for the First Order and weren't supposed to say something? Not only could they give up vital information, they could jeopardize this entire mission and there was nothing Nara could do about it.

"I can't," she repeated, her voice full of regret. "Kylo, they think I'm with you, and the First Order. They would break contact as soon as I revealed it was me. There is no point anyway. If Skywalker isn't here then they don't know where he is either. The Resistance knows possibly less than you do."

Kylo shook his head. He turned again, and went over to the Knights of Ren, leaving Nara behind as she awkwardly looked around. Was that the end of their conversation? Had he given in?

"She's protecting them," a knight spoke to Kylo. "How can you believe she's with us if she's not even willing to do such a small task for you?"

Kylo didn't reply in words. Instead, he raised his arms and swung his lightsaber hard, letting it crash against one of the few pillars that still stood upright.

Nara was taken aback, and quickly followed the stormtroopers when they slowly moved away from him.

He hit the pillar so often it fell down, a cloud of dust rising where it had fallen. He moved on to the next one, the red blade slicing right through the stone that had been as old as the ages.

She remained speechless as her gaze tracked him closely. Never before had Nara seen him so aggressive as he was now. The way he let his lightsaber crash against anything he would come across was unlike she knew him. Red sparks flew all around them until there was nothing left of the temple but rubble and ashes.

Kylo remained still, his muscles tensing as he seemed to try to recompose himself. He kept his lightsaber tightly in his hands, but there was nothing more for him to strike.

"Return to base. Skywalker isn't here."

His voice was as cold as the wind that was blowing in her face. His troops seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then they all turned and headed down the steps they had come from.

Nara remained standing, hoping Kylo would say something to her, but in his anger he strode right past her without even as much as glancing to her.

Nara looked down to the ground. She was the last one to remain behind, and she needed the few seconds to be alone. This wasn't like she had hoped everything to go. While she didn't have to fire her blaster, the fact that some of them seemed to think she wasn't part of the First Order made her scared. Kylo seemed to believe her, but for how long? How much time would it take for his knights to convince him that she wasn't here for him?

She had placed herself on the same chair as the shuttle took off. While no one had paid attention to her when they were outbound, now everyone seemed to whisper something under their breath as Nara passed. The Knights of Ren occasionally glanced to her, but she decided to ignore their looks and convinced herself she had done the right thing. Had she given in she would not only have put her own life at stake, but also the entire Resistance.

Kylo hadn't spoken a word to her during their way back. Nara figured that she should be grateful for it. At least he couldn't try to make her contact the Resistance like his knights had wanted her to. Maybe this was for the best. They would talk it out when they were alone.

Captain Phasma was waiting for their return. Nara assumed she had already been informed about the failure of their mission, and when she whispered something to Kylo who then walked over to Nara, a nervousness took a hold inside of her.

"Come with me," Kylo spoke, his voice stern while his eyes were soft.

Nara nodded and followed him closely. The entire time she had held on to her blaster, and nobody seemed to care that she was still holding it. It was as if she wasn't even a threat to them.

Kylo was joined by Captain Phasma and two other stormtroopers. They headed into the elevator and went up instead of down. Nara saw the ground disappear beneath her before she turned her head upwards to see where they were going.

The elevator came to a smooth halt. She breathed in sharply as she followed Kylo and Phasma around the building, wondering where they were going.

When she saw Hux standing at the end of a long corridor her heart skipped a beat. He always meant bad news, and adrenaline was taking over as she began to think of what they were going to do. Maybe they were going to force her to contact the Resistance after all.

His gaze focussed on Nara's before he opened the door. She tried to read his expression, but like Kylo's face was cast in darkness, Hux's face was neutral as it possibly could be. There was no way to know what was waiting for her inside.

Phasma and Kylo headed in first. Nara looked over her shoulder to see the stormtroopers staying behind while Hux followed her in. He closed the door behind her, and that was when she noticed how dim the room was.

She turned her head and shuffled closer to Kylo, hoping her eyes would adjust to the light soon. It was a spacious room which seemed to have nothing in it but darkness. Nara felt her heart beating in her throat as she waited for something to happen.

A large hologram was projected in front of her. Nara took a step backwards in surprise, her back bumping in Kylo's chest. He placed his hands on her arms and pushed her back in place. The moment he let go of her Nara wanted to turn and demand his touch again. With his fingers on her skin she felt safe, without it she felt lost.

"Is this her?" the hologram spoke.

Nara let her eyes glide over what looked like a man sitting in some sort of throne. He had a deformed bald head, and his eyes seemed to be able to see right through her. Nara felt her mouth go dry as she watched him move.

"Yes," Hux said, taking a step forward. "She is the one we recovered from Thyferra. She claims she has renounced the Resistance, but her performance today has led me to believe otherwise."

It didn't take her long to come tot he conclusion that she had been brought before the Supreme Leader Snoke.

"While the information she gave us about Luke Skywalker seemed to be accurate, he was already gone when we arrived. When ordered to contact the Resistance to uncover a possible second location, she refused."

She had no idea what the formalities of this situation were. Was she able to speak up? Could she only speak unless spoken to?

"I didn't refuse," Nara replied, her hands trembling. "It is of no use. They would never give me anything, especially after I betrayed them."

"Did you?" Snoke spoke, his voice booming throughout the room. "Did you _betray_ them?"

Nara nodded. "Yes! I gave you Luke's location, didn't I?"

Hux spoke up again. "Supreme Leader, I do not trust her. The way she ended up found by the Knights of Ren seems just too convenient to me."

"What are you saying?" Kylo spoke as he moved away from behind her and stood before her. Nara looked over his shoulder to see Hux speaking.

"I am saying she is still part of the Resistance."

Nara shook her head as she closed her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her breathing was getting more ragged and she desperately tried to take control over it again.

Kylo spun on his heel and turned to her as he narrowed his eyes.

"Is what Hux is saying true?"

"No!" Nara exclaimed. She placed her hand on his arm. "I'm not with them anymore. I'm here for you, I told you that, and you know it is the truth. I don't believe in the Resistance anymore."

She hang onto his gaze, hoping he was going to believe her lies.

"Prove it," Snoke simply stated.

Nara pulled her eyes away from Kylo and looked past him from Hux to Snoke.

"Prove it?" she stumbled. "How?"

"Give us anything," Hux caught on. "Anything about the Resistance. If you're not with them anymore you wouldn't care about giving them up, do you?"

She felt nauseous. What was she going to do? The longer she hesitated the more they would suspect she indeed was still part of the Resistance, so she had to act fast. Nara went over the possibilities in her head. Refusing to say anything would result in her death, and would put an end to the mission. Giving up vital information would possibly result in the death of the Resistance, but if she could contact them in time, they could act fast, and she could continue the mission.

The truth was, Nara didn't want to die. She didn't know the difference between excuses and rational thoughts anymore. She was convincing herself that by letting herself live, she could get more information about the First Order. After today, they might fully trust her and allow her to get into situations she would not be allowed to be in before. Perhaps she could now get crucial information that would help the Resistance destroy the First Order.

Nara took in a deep breath, before raising her fingers to her head, rubbing her temples. Before she let her hands fall down to her side she let her finger slip behind her ear, pressing the chip that transmitted information to Leia and the Resistance.

"If I tell you, will you believe I have turned my back on the Resistance?" Nara said, raising her voice so her message would be clear.

"Yes," Snoke replied slowly.

"I can tell you where they are located," she continued as she felt her head spinning. "The Resistance is in the Outer Rim, on a planet called D'Qar."

Snoke seemed to smile.

"Good," he nodded, as he gripped the sides of his throne. "You are part of us now, Nara."

She felt her knees transform to gelatin, but she had to remain strong. Nara couldn't quite believe what she had done, and while she had expected it to be relieving, it felt like she was suffocating. This had better not been all for nothing. If it was, she would possibly have the blood of thousands Resistance fighters on her hands, and that was something she could not live with.

* * *

 **A/N:** My apologies for the slight delay. I've had a busy weekend with not much time to write, so I wrote this really _really_ long chapter today to make up for it. When I started writing fanfiction years ago my chapters would always be around 700 words long because I couldn't find much more to write about, and look how long they've become now, lol. I know I could've split this chapter up in two, but consider this my treat to you for letting you wait.

I want to thank you all for your lovely reviews. Please keep them coming. I love to read them and they help me find motivation to write more.

As always, thank you so much for following this story for so long now, and take care and I will see you next chapter 3


	21. Chapter XXI

How grateful she was for Kylo grabbing her by her arm and leading her out of there, away from Snoke. His appearance had made an everlasting impression, and Nara promised herself she would never come into a situation where she would have to come before him again.

Hux tracked her closely as they left the room, his eyes burning in her back. She tried to pay no attention to it, but it began to feel like whatever she would do it would never be enough for him. Sooner or later he was going to doubt her again and demand more information, but after today she didn't have more to give. She gave up their location. What else would they want from her?

She felt disgusted with herself. Nara tried to convince herself she had told them where the Resistance was situated so the mission wouldn't be jeopardized, but deep inside she knew it was to save herself. Her selfishness had perhaps cost the lives of many.

As she tucked her hair behind her ear she disabled the chip. Her message had been sent and she could only hope it would reach them in time. Perhaps she could try and stall whatever they were going to do on D'Qar, but then again she didn't want to put herself in the same position as she was today. If it had proven one thing it was that she had to be more convincing. The Resistance was no more. She fully had to embrace the First Order and give in to anything they might desire from her.

Kylo let the two of them back to his living quarters, their eyes just briefly meeting. Nara wasn't sure what she was seeing. Was he proud of her? Disappointed? Both?

Nara decided to remain silent as they made their way back as she tried to assess Kylo's reaction. He had been protective of her in there, that much she knew, but had she done enough to convince him as well?

When they were back in his room, she began to take off the plastoid armor that covered her body. She hadn't realized how cramped it had made her feel, and taking it off felt relieving.

Kylo unwrapped the black fabric that went around his shoulders and released himself of his belt. Without it he felt a lot less imposing and while she had expected it would let her feel at ease, the nervousness in her stomach wouldn't seem to fade. She didn't expect it would go away until she had heard back from the Resistance.

"I don't understand," he spoke, breaking the silence.

He had placed his lightsaber on the table and had completely undressed except for the black pants and shirt he wore underneath of his uniform.

Nara raised her gaze as she stopped to take off the piece that had covered her thigh.

"Why did you hold back?"

She swallowed as she felt her skin burning. The uneasy feeling returned, and Nara figured the only option she had was to tell a distant version of the truth.

"I was confused, Kylo. It all felt so wrong. The thought of seeing you kill Luke was just too much. I am _trying_ , but it is like the light inside of me does not want to fade. You would understand that, right?"

Kylo moved forward and took her hand in his.

"You have to let in the darkness. It's not easy, but it will be worth it. Once you see its powers you'll never doubt it again."

Nara wasn't sure if what he was saying was the entire truth. She had felt him toss and turn late at night, and she didn't think it was because he was nervous to go to Luke's location. Something told her it was Han who was haunting him at night, and if the dark side was supposedly so strong, how could he?

Still, Kylo spoke his words with certainty and she nodded nevertheless.

"What are you going to do to the Resistance?" Nara asked, her voice soft. She didn't want to face reality, but she had to. She owed it to them.

"I don't know," he shook his head. "I'm going to discuss it later tonight, but I am sure we will destroy it like we have destroyed other planets."

Even though she had already seen this coming, the truth still hurt. What she would do to be a fly on the wall during that meeting. She could use the information to send to the Resistance, and try to make up for her betrayal. Maybe she could manage to interrogate Kylo about it at night, pretend she was interested about the destruction of D'Qar.

She inhaled sharply before releasing her breath. His fingers was still intertwined with hers, his rough skin that was hardened by battle brushing against the softness of hers.

"What will happen to me?" she then asked, an unsteady tone to her voice.

"Short term? You're gonna stay here," Kylo replied. "I'm not letting you go. Long term however… I can't answer that yet."

Nara was surprised by his honesty. She averted her gaze, letting it all sink in. If anything today had been a huge lesson to her. Whatever she did, she had to be more convincing. All her actions were being watched closely by either Hux or someone else, and she couldn't allow herself to slip up again. The only thing she could to make it up to the Resistance was provided them with all the information she could possibly get, and she'd have to get deep for that. She had to let the dark side reach to her, even though she did not want it to be. If she could keep it balanced she might be of help and would live to tell it.

She nodded slowly, looking back up again.

"I won't disappoint again. I promise."

A soft smile unraveled on Kylo's lips. He leaned forward, his nose almost touching hers as his hands found her hips.

"I believe you," he spoke, before kissing her with so much affection that it warmed her heart and made her forget about the Resistance just long enough to let her body soften.

* * *

When Kylo left to discuss whatever the First Order was going to do about the Resistance on D'Qar, Nara was left alone with her thoughts for the first time, and it scared her. As soon as she was sure he was far enough down the corridor so he wouldn't hear anything, she pressed the transmitter behind her ear.

The piece hummed and crackled in her ear. It felt like her stomach had been turned upside down as she anxiously waited for any messages that the Resistance might have left her.

"We've received your message, Nara," someone said, but she couldn't recognize the voice. Her heart sank. She had hoped it would be Leia addressing her, telling her everything was going to be alright. The absence of her voice left her feeling more nervous than she already was. They obviously weren't happy with what she had done, but how could they?

"D'Qar will be vacated as soon as we can. For security reasons we will not tell you yet where we will position our base next. Keep giving us information."

The message stopped abruptly without as much as a goodbye or a good luck. The messenger had spoken calmly, almost as if he had been annoyed. Nara gripped the bedding, letting the fabric run through her fingers before moving her hand up to her ear again.

The hum stopped and the room was completely silent again. She shook her head, closing her eyes. Betraying the Resistance was the worst thing she had ever done, and she had done it for selfish reasons. This was not how her parents had raised her. This was not how she knew herself. Even the Resistance was seeing the bad in her. They didn't even want to tell her the next location in case she would rat them out once more.

Nara opened her eyes. What if the dark side was already creeping its way inside of her? What if it had possessed her sooner than she had thought? The way she had given them up so easily, it wasn't like her. She had been a Resistance fighter through and through, willing to die for the operation, but something was witholding her from dying all together, and perhaps it was the dark side.

Desperate to get rid of her thoughts Nara jumped under the shower once more, hoping the water would wash away her feelings.

She stayed there until she heard the door opening again and the skin on her finger tops had gone wrinkly. Her heartbeat increased as she stepped out, quickly throwing on a t-shirt that was too big for her and wrapping her head in a towel to prevent the water from dripping down her back.

With her hand resting on the doorpost Nara waited patiently until Kylo spoke.

"We're not going to attack just yet," Kylo spoke. "We're going to use the element of surprise to our advantage."

Nara held her breath. _Surprise_. The First Order would certainly be surprised when they would realize the Resistance had already left D'Qar, and she could only hope that wouldn't blow back on her. They didn't know she was able to contact them. Hopefully when the time came she could brush it off as a coincidence. Perhaps she could convince them the planet was becoming too inconvenient for the Resistance and they needed something better. Perhaps it was only for the better they wouldn't tell her the new base. The less she knew the better.

"I guess that makes sense," she replied, trying not to sound too relieved. At least now the Resistance would have some time to relocate. She made a mental note to send them another message in the morning, figuring she couldn't take a shower a third time, and she needed the noise to avoid suspicions.

"I'm going to bed," Kylo said. "Are you coming as well?"

Nara's gaze shifted to the window. She hadn't noticed it was already that late.

"Just give me a second," she replied before slipping in the bathroom again to take off the towel and detangle her hair with her fingers. It was going to look like a mess in the morning, but that would be the least of her worries.

It felt wrong to press her body against his. For a reason it felt like she was betraying the Resistance even more. The longer she was with Kylo, and the more affection he gave her, the more she began to fall back in love with him. If only circumstances had been better. If only Snoke hadn't lured him to the dark side.

Kylo had his arm wrapped around her waist as he pushed his face in her damp hair. Her body fit perfectly into his, her back pressed against his chest. She could feel his breath on her skin as he increased his grip, pulling her even closer. The temperature of his body warmed her, and if Nara for a moment forgot what was happening all around her, she genuinely felt happy.

But the rest couldn't be forgotten. She tried to close her eyes countless times, but every time she saw Leia in front of her, trying to get as far away from D'Qar as possible. Next she saw Poe, struggling to organize the fleet of X-Wings for transportation. Every time she tried again she saw someone else she had betrayed.

Throughout the night Kylo released his grasp on her waist, turning his body as he let out a soft and long sigh. Nara switched positions, her eyes gliding over his frame, wondering what he was dreaming about. She saw the fingers of his hands twitch every now and again, his head sometimes shaking back and forth.

After all this time she still wasn't sure where his allegiance was. Sometimes she still saw the light in him, but more often than not he was consumed by darkness. Even after so much training it appeared that even Kylo Ren was still struggling with balancing the force, and in a way that soothed her. If he couldn't figure it all out, then she didn't have to feel bad for feeling conflicted as well.

When she saw the sun rising she realized she hadn't slept at all that night. Her body was tensed as she pushed herself upwards and positioned herself against the wall, her feet pulled up to her body. She wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her head on her knees as she watched the light slowly spread over the red clay. She still had no idea where they were, and she promised herself it would be her mission to find out as soon as possible. The Resistance needed something they could work with.

After they had breakfast Kylo told her he would be leaving for the day. He was being vague about the details, but when she saw him pull out his lightsaber as he got dressed she didn't feel bad about not having to come along. On the contrary, she was happy he was taking things slow with her again.

"Am I allowed to leave the room once you're gone?" Nara said as she watched him assemble his uniform, which proved to be more complicated than she had imagined.

Kylo looked up and ruffled his brows. "Of course you are. You're not a prisoner."

"I know I am," Nara nodded, although it felt good to hear him confirm it once more. "It's just that Hux doesn't particularly seems to like me. Would he mind if I walked around the base?"

He secured the belt that went around his hip, his fingers finding the clasp that made it stay in place.

"Hux doesn't like me either, don't take it personally," he spoke. "Don't get intimidated by him."

That was easier said than done. Whenever she saw him she felt like he was staring right through her lies and deceptions. If anything, she didn't want to be brought before Snoke ever again.

"Where are you going?" Nara asked.

Kylo had fully put on his attire, the only thing left to do was pull the hood over his head. The mask was still missing, but Nara didn't mind that it was. She preferred him without it.

"I'll tell you when I get back," he said as he moved towards her. "You'll be allowed to come on the next operation, I just think you need some time. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard for your first time. For a moment I forgot how little you know of the dark side."

Nara didn't want to go next time either. If it were up to here she would never join him in combat ever again, but she couldn't let her disappointment show. At least she was able to get out of it this time.

"Next time I'll be ready," she said, forcing a smile on her lips, hoping it looked somewhat convincing.

"I'll make sure you'll be," Kylo replied.

He leaned forward to kiss her goodbye.

* * *

She had spent the entire day exploring the base, getting lost twice before she was able to return to Kylo's room. The intricate web of corridors confused her every time, but at the end of the day she felt like she had gotten the hang of it.

Never during her time roaming the building had she ran into Hux, and Nara was very glad for it. The only encounters she had made was with stormtroopers who didn't seem to acknowledge her and commanding officers who simply nodded once as she passed by.

When she saw Captain Phasma standing in front of a glass window that covered the entire side of the building, Nara shuffled closer. She was watching her stormtroopers train in the red dust, keeping a close eye on their progressions.

Nara cleared her throat as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. Next to the shiny armor of the captain she felt painfully bare.

"Can I ask you something," she asked, her voice uneven and awkward. "Ma'am."

The stormtrooper turned her head towards her before turning it back to her troops, replying with a short and stern nod.

"Where are were?"

One of the stormtroopers threw the other one down on the ground, but Phasma didn't seem to be affected by it in any way.

"I mean, on what planet are we?"

"Why would you want to know?" Phasma replied, her voice booming.

"Curiosity," Nara stated.

Her gaze never left the troops training below, obviously deeming them to be more important than Nara.

"This planet has no name," she replied. "Uncharted territories."

She had no idea if what she was saying was true, but Nara could only take her word for it. Back when she was with the Resistance they had spoken about how the First Order was trying to colonize as much of the Unknown Regions as possible. Their empire had to start somewhere, and what better place than here?

"Anything else?" Phasma asked with a slight tone of annoyance to her voice.

Nara shook head head, answering her before she spun on her heel to return.

"Nope. That was all, thank you."

* * *

She was glad to see Kylo again. The moment she heard heavy footsteps approaching she knew it was him, but when he came in with his hand pressed to his side and struggled for the nearest chair, her smile disappeared.

"Did something happen?" Nara asked as she rushed forward, helping him down. Her eyes slid over his body, but it appeared that it was mostly the wound in his side that was a bothering him.

He shook his head in response before closing his eyes in pain when her fingers made him release the pressure on the wound so she could take a look, but through the thick black fabric she couldn't see much.

"You need to take off what you're wearing. I can't do anything now."

Nara was far from a good nurse, but she knew the basics and she was sure she could at least bandage the wound again.

"It's fine," Kylo protested, but Nara paid no mind to his comment and began free him from his uniform.

When she accidentally grabbed the lightsaber that hung from his hip an electric shock went through her body. Nara blinked a couple of times, wondering what just had happened before she quickly placed it on the table besides him.

"Oh," Nara exclaimed, as she frowned in disgust. Now that he was bare chested she could finally take off the bandages and see the extent of the wound, and it was very impressive. It wasn't until now she comprehended how much power Chewie's bowcaster had.

"How the hell are you able to withstand this pain?!"

But she already knew the answer. It was the darkness that was pulling him through, and she had no idea how.

"It's not that bad," Kylo mumbled, but Nara wanted to argue otherwise. Any normal person would surely have been in tremendous pain, or perhaps even died, but he was able to continue his duties without as much as complaining.

"You probably should seem a medic about this," Nara said, but when Kylo shook his head sternly she let out a sigh.

"You at least need a fresh bandage," she said. It was impossible to pull her gaze away from the damage that had been done to his body. She had seen the bandages before, but never had she figured it was this bad. Kylo had handled the pain so well she thought it was merely a scratch, but it was a serious flesh wound. If Chewie had aimed only an inch in the other direction he would have killed him.

"In that dresser," Kylo said as he nodded in the direction where she would find supplies.

Nara rushed to it, opening the metal drawers and began to rummage around until she found everything that she needed.

It didn't take her long to redo the bandage. The wound looked a lot less bad with fresh white gauze covering it, and Nara could see Kylo's body relaxing as the pain seemed to be leaving.

"What happened?" she tried again as she remained knelt down in front of him, her hand resting on his knees.

"Nothing happened. Don't worry about it," he replied. The color on his cheeks seemed to be returning. Nara had no idea what she had done but it seemed like it had worked.

"Then why did this wound suddenly hurt?" Nara continued, not ready to give up yet. She wanted to understand what he was going through, and he needed to let her in order for her to understand. Even though she was beginning to feel the pull of the dark side herself, she still understood little of it.

"I overworked my body," Kylo spoke, raising his eyebrows as his face turned soft. He leaned forward, his hand cupping her face.

"I am feeling better now. Thanks to _you_."

His smile was contagious, and when he stole her a quick kiss Nara felt the butterflies in her stomach rising. She was craving his affection more and more, and while it troubled her, she couldn't care less.

She couldn't hold herself back again. Her hands slipped further up his thigh, his muscles stiffening as her touch increased. For a moment she was scared he was going to stop her, but when his hands grabbed her by her hips and pulled her closer to him while leaning forward to let his lips crash against hers she knew he wanted this as badly as she wanted it.

It was as if he had forgotten about the pain of the wound as Kylo managed to pick her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck to stabilize herself as he moved closer to the bed, letting her fall backwards. She felt the need to be careful, not wanting to hurt or injure him any more, but when Kylo pressed his body against hers she knew it was alright to do what she wanted.

Their kiss deepened before Nara let out a soft sigh of pleasure. She couldn't even remember the last time they had done this, but she remembered all too well how much she had missed it.

She could feel the warmth of his body through his clothing. Nara wrapped her legs around his hips when he began to place gentle kisses in her neck.

"Stop it," Nara snickered as his lips brushed against her collarbone. She had always been ticklish and he had always been one to exploit it.

"You want me to stop?" Kylo said as he raised his head to let his gaze meet hers. A devilish grin was playing on his lips.

"Shut up," she replied, mimicking his smile before she kissed him again and her hands tried to undo his pants, ready to let her body melt into his.

* * *

 **A/N:** So yeah. That happened. A number of people commented when it would happen but I had already planned to do it this chapter. Hopefully it didn't disappoint too much. This story is still rated T, so I couldn't take it too far. Just let your imagination fill in what happened after ;) (and honestly if it were rated M, I can't write explicit sex scenes to save my life so there's that).

Also, where do all those guest reviewers come from? Did someone rec my story somewhere or? Either way, I'm very happy you enjoyed this as much as you did! Your reviews are very much appreciated.

Finally I wanted to give you a little heads up that I sadly won't be able to update again this week due to commitments at university and work. I will of course write again as soon as I get the chance. I still have 3 finals coming up so that is taking more time than I expected. Hopefully you can understand.

As always, please leave your thoughts and thank you again for reading another chapter. Take care 3


	22. Chapter XXII

Waking up in Kylo's arms every morning felt like a blessing. It was what made living in this nightmare worth it. It was the light that was pulling her through the darkness, and every single day she couldn't wait to go to sleep again just so she could wake up.

The Resistance didn't contact her. Either they had nothing to tell her, or they didn't want to tell her anything. Nara didn't have much to tell them either. Whenever Kylo would leave for his duties she spent her time roaming the base, but she realized she was being closely watched. Stormtroopers didn't seem to acknowledge her at all, and any officers seemed to actively avoid her gaze as she passed.

She didn't mind that Kylo kept her in the dark about what he was doing all day. If anyone had witnessed the atrocities he was capable of, it was Nara, but still she was hanging onto the tiniest hope that there was some good in him left. Whatever he was doing out there - she didn't want to know.

Nara was surprised to find she was allowed to attend an officer meeting one afternoon. Kylo had come back to fetch her from her favorite place on base where she could watch the sun set every night. Something about the red glow over the already crimson earth was so satisfying that she found herself coming back to it every time she could.

"Why me?" she wondered as she quickened her pace to keep up with Kylo.

"I want you to feel included, Nara," he spoke as he kept his gaze focussed ahead. "You're not a prisoner anymore, although Hux would still like to believe that."

He turned himself to her.

"And besides, you might be able to help us, you know. These officers have been doing the same thing over and over again. They're stuck in this rut, and perhaps the First Order can only advance if we have someone who is able to think outside of the box."

Nara's lips formed a thin line as they progressed through the base. Was she to help the First Order? Actually advise them? The prospect of being more included sounded intriguing, but mostly because she could find out more about what exactly they were doing. Having to actually participate in their meetings was a little daunting, and it was something that wasn't high on her wish list.

The officers were gathered around what looked like a huge tablet which displayed a holo in the middle. It was another planet, she found, and when she looked closer she realized it was the planet that Luke was supposed to be on.

She was met with confused glances and looks, but when Kylo told them he personally had asked her to come, they all remained quiet. Even though some seemed to be rather annoyed, no one dared to go against him.

When her eyes slid around the room, scanning every one of the officers, she began to wonder how many of them knew about the relationship between her and Kylo. Nara had no idea what she was supposed to call it, but they were definitely involved with each other again. If he was still a Jedi this would go against all of the rules there were, yet no one seemed to mind in the First Order. Perhaps they were glad she was distracting him a little from time to time.

It appeared the meeting had already started without them. The officers continued their discussion as Nara did her best to keep up with what was going on, not sure when it was okay for her to speak up or not. Undoubtedly these people all had went through an intensive training academy, and without any of that experience she felt incredibly out of place.

Nara straightened her back as she listened closely. Kylo wanted her to be here, so she should try to participate. If he thought it was alright, then it would be. Even though she didn't want to advise the First Order in any shape way or form, she had to play along.

"The main island was deserted," one of the officers spoke. "As were the others. We did a thermal scan of the planet but there seems to be no human life present at all. Luke, if he was even there, was gone."

"Luke was there alright," Kylo spoke. He was still without his helmet, but it didn't make him any less intimidating. "He got out of there before we did. I suspect with the help of the Resistance."

"So he is with them, on D'Qar?"

Nara breathing in and out slowly as they continued to discuss the matter of Luke Skywalker. The holo of the tiny water planet transformed into the one she knew all too well. Some wanted to blow it up immediately, while others wanted to directly attack the planet to be able to retrieve him alive. She knew how much Kylo wanted to kill him himself. He wouldn't be satisfied with doing it from a distance. He wanted to personally force his lightsaber through his heart like he had done with Han.

Even though the Resistance had Luke in its possession, Nara couldn't sit back and allow them to assume that to be true. She could show them her knowledge and steer them on the wrong course at the same time.

She cleared her throat before speaking, directing the attention to her.

"What if the Resistance doesn't have Luke and he got out of there another way?"

Several of the officers cocked their eyebrows, unsure of the words she was speaking.

"I mean, they were after Luke for a _very_ long time, with no success. Why would he come to them after all those years? He deserted them when they needed him most, why return now?"

Her words were being taken into account. The room was silence as they contemplated what she had said.

"The girl," Kylo said, his voice hard and stern. "She convinced him."

Nara narrowed her eyes. Was he speaking of Rey? She knew she was force sensitive, but she suspected many other people in the galaxy were. But with the Jedi Order gone none of them would ever master the force like Jedi's before them had done. They posed no threat, so why did Rey? Why would she be able to get him out of exile? She was just a scavenger, right?

Murmurs filled the room as a response, and she seriously began to feel out of the loop. What did they know that she didn't? What was so special about Rey that they all were fearing her powers so much? She made a mental note to contact the Resistance about it. Perhaps the could shed some light on it.

"We have to go with our best lead, which is that Skywalker is on D'Qar."

Every time they spoke the name of the planet a shock of electricity went through her body which made her spine tingle, a constant reminder she was the one who had told them that location.

"And we need to attack soon, or he'll be gone."

Kylo placed his hand on the table, perhaps a little louder than he had anticipated.

"No," he spoke. "We'll go, once we are prepared, and no sooner. As much as I would love to think of him as an idiot, he isn't. We'll need to come up with strategies, and plan our every move. I will not allow him to escape again."

His words were a simple indication the meeting was over. The officers scrambled around to fetch their belongings and left the room, leaving only Kylo and Nara with the holo of D'Qar in front of them. She didn't need to look at the image to see what it looked like, she remembered every mountain and lake that was on there.

Kylo grabbed her hand, forcing her to turn her gaze to him.

"I need to take care of something, can you find your way back?"

Nara's lips transformed into a smile. "What do you think I've been doing every time you leave? I know how to navigate this base by heart now."

She was glad to see a faint hint of amusement on his expression as well.

"I'm sorry I doubted you," he said, before taking her completely by surprise and leaning forward to press his lips against hers.

* * *

With ease she retraced her steps back to his private quarters, only stopping once when she realized she heard a faint sound of voices coming from a little up ahead.

Nara shuffled closer, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she noticed an open door. She stopped in her tracks and leaned forward, holding her breath as she kept her gaze on the door so she would be ready to move again whenever someone would emerge.

The voice could belong to no one else than Hux. He spoke soft, yet as she listened closely she could still hear most of it. She had no idea who he was talking to, but it appeared he was confiding in someone.

"Does he have it?" Hux spoke. "Ren is after him personally, and I understand he needs to kill him to complete his training, but is what he possibly has in his possession not worth taking as well?"

She couldn't hear the person who spoke back, but it didn't matter. Her heartbeat was increasing and her mind began to work. It was obvious he was talking about Luke, but she had never heard mention of some sort of object before.

When she heard footsteps closing in on her Nara quickly began to walk, purposely looking the opposite direction of the door she passed. Whatever she had heard, she was sure she wasn't supposed to hear it. Finally she had something for the Resistance, and who would've guessed it would be thanks to Hux?

Nara could feel his eyes burn in her back when she moved through the hallway, far away from him, but she didn't care. She had something of importance, and even though she personally didn't know what it all meant, the Resistance probably did.

* * *

The water streamed loudly in the basin as Nara activated the chip behind her ear. Steam began to fill the room, clouding the mirror in the process and dampening her hair slightly, but she didn't want take the riskt. This was the only place where she felt safe from the First Order, and as inconvenient as it was, it was the only place she had.

The muscles in her body tensed when she heard Leia's voice echoing through her head. It had been a while since she had last left her a message, and Nara had completely forgotten to check the transmitter earlier. How long ago had this been sent?

"Nara, it's me," her voice was clear and calm, as it always was. Nara pressed herself against the wall before sliding down to the ground, listening closely to what she had to say.

"I'm getting concerned about you. The messages we get, it is unlike you. I fear the dark side is consuming you, as it has Ben. Please, Nara, for all of us, hold onto the light that is inside you. Don't fall into Snoke's traps. Don't get involved with him. He's not the man you think he is. Please, Nara. Please."

The message ended and Nara was able to breathe again. She wrapped her arms around her legs, bringing them closer to her body. It had come as a complete surprise, and Nara was sure the message was supposed to be a warning. Leia personally cautioned her not to come too close to Kylo, but Nara was already in too deep to return.

The way she spoke about Snoke, it was as if she was suggesting he was controlling Kylo even where she believed he couldn't. What if their relationship was allowed because it was set up by Snoke himself? What if he had a part to play in all of this?

A feeling of anxiety took a hold inside of her. While she knew Kylo's love for her was genuine, she began to fear that everything else was constructed specifically to empower him. Leia had said it so often: Snoke was using Kylo, and Nara had never realized to what extent until now.

She shook her head. While she wanted to follow Leia's advice, she couldn't anymore. Nara had allowed herself to be back in Kylo's life again, and leaving him would bring no one any good. Leia had no idea what this place was like, and as much as she realized Snoke might be influencing all of this, she needed Kylo to survive in here. Turning her back on him was impossible.

Her finger pressed the transmitter again and she raised her voice, not too loudly, to speak. Nara decided for the time being to ignore their earlier message. She had no idea what to say in return anyway.

"The First Order is after some sort of artifact or object possibly in the possession of Luke. I have no idea what it is, but I will make sure to find out. They are both after Luke himself, and whatever he may or may not be holding onto."

* * *

Kylo appeared soon after she had turned off the shower and placed herself on the bed with a book, trying to look like she was doing something while in reality her mind couldn't stop working. Everything she saw or read reminded her of Leia's words, and if she was honest she wished she wouldn't have heard the message at all. The illusion she was living in would be better than realizing everything might be a lie.

Nevertheless she forced a smile on her lips and embraced Kylo in a hug. She was happy to see he had brought them dinner, the scent of it filling her nose and making her stomach rumble.

She decided not to bring anything up about Snoke. If what Leia had said was true she was sure she would find out in due time. In the meantime, she didn't want to jeopardize Kylo's training under Snoke. It was too important to him for her to ruin.

Kylo put down his knife and fork before running his fingers through his hair.

"Nara?" he began.

Nara looked up from her dinner and raised her eyebrows slightly, acknowledging she had heard him.

"I want you to join me, tomorrow. On a mission."

She dropped her fork a little louder than was planned. Quickly she took in in her fingers again as she cocked her head to the right, wondering if she heard him right.

"Uh," Nara stumbled. "Do you think that will be a good idea? Considering what happened last time?"

Kylo nodded with such conviction she began to wonder if he was thinking too much of her. She knew she shouldn't hold back, but she didn't want to be stuck in the same situation as last time. Her mind was not ready yet to hold that blaster again.

"It is just a diplomatic mission," he replied. "There will be no fighting necessary. At least not from your part."

Nara shook her head in doubt.

"I don't know, Kylo. I don't want to disappoint you again, and it's so soon."

"I know you can do it, Nara. The light side is leaving you, I have felt it. What happened last time will not happen again, I will make sure of it. You do not even have to bring a weapon if it makes you feel better."

 _The light side is leaving you_ , she recited in her head. That phrase confirmed what she had been suspecting for a long time now, and it scared her.

"You'll promise I don't have to shoot anybody?" Nara said. Even though she didn't trust the entire situation, she had to put faith in Kylo. He had never done anything that would purposely put her in any danger, and anything that could help the Resistance was worth doing.

Kylo nodded, a smile forming on his lips. "I promise."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you all so much for bearing with me. I still have two more exams to write, but I'm almost finished with them so I have time to continue this fic again! I promise I will not let you wait for so long again.

I have received some reviews throughout the run of this fic about some potential songs for Kylo and Nara, and I think I might create a playlist for them. I have been thinking about doing it for a long time now, so why the hell not. I'm not a music expert or anything, so please don't think too much of it, but if you perhaps have any good song suggestions, PLEASE, let me know! Anything can help! Also what would be best for most of you? Spotify? 8tracks? I have no idea what people usually use for this.

Once more, thank you again for the wait. I will be back as soon as possible. In the meantime, take care 3


	23. Chapter XXIII

The air on Grathus felt heavy in her lungs. Nara looked around as they left Kylo's commanding shuttle and stepped onto a raised platform. The thick fog prevented her from seeing the surroundings, but nevertheless she felt that the planet was rather underdeveloped. The sheet of wetness made her hair clung to her face, and she regretted not braiding it out of the way.

She looked up to Kylo, who was dressed his usual black attire. It struck her how much his face had hardened, as if he had to compensate for his still absent mask.

They hadn't hid the location of the planet they were visited from her. Nara had seen the coordinates put into the system as the pilots launched the shuttle into hyperspace. This was the first real location she had for the Resistance, and she couldn't wait until she could find a moment alone to share it with them.

She had never heard of the planet before, but it was situated in the Jospro sector in the Outer Rim Territories. Before she joined the First Order she never had any business in the Outer Rim, and neither did the Resistance. The planets and folk that came from these systems were always a little shady. However, no one could bee seen now, and it looked like they were alone.

They stopped at the end of the platform as they waited for others to meet them. The ground beneath was nothing but dried mud, and even though she couldn't see far she noticed that the mud flat was never ending.

Someone emerged from the fog and stepped forward. It was a human, and he appeared to be by himself. It was a rather small welcome committee, but then again Nara had no idea what they were doing here in the first place.

Nara turned her head over her shoulder to look behind her, only now noting how the Knights of Ren weren't accompanying them. Instead, a small army of Stormtroopers waited in front of the shuttle in a perfect line, their blasters held high.

"I do not like to be kept waiting," Kylo spoke, his voice as cold as his expression.

The objective of this mission was unclear to her, but the way this was all set up she doubted there would be any fighting done today, just like Kylo had promised her. The stormtroopers weren't there as soldiers, but rather as a form of back-up and intimidation.

"I am truly sorry," the human before her spoke.

Nara narrowed her eyes as she scanned his body. He was a tense looking man, with a big belly and a thick mop of hair on his head. The clothing he wore was stained brown, probably from the mud that seemed to cover the entire planet. He twisted his hands together, appearing to be quite nervous.

Another minute passed. Nara straightened her back as she kept her gaze on the horizon, wondering what or who they were waiting on. The breeze prickled on her skin, as she closed her eyes for a mere second, appreciating the freshness of it.

"Where are they?" Kylo said, taking a sudden step forward, his head bowed low to the much smaller man.

His face turned pale as he brought his hands up to his throat, visually failing to remain breathing.

Nara narrowed her eyes in confusion, but it all became clear when her gaze fell on Kylo, who had his arm outstretched in front of him as he used the Force to choke the man into submission.

The fear in his expression was undeniable, and Nara couldn't help but feel bad for him. She wanted to step forward and put her hand on Kylo's arm, telling him to stop. This guy was just the messenger. He couldn't help that whoever they were waiting on were taking so long, but she couldn't. Nara knew better than the interfere with Kylo while he was like this. Besides that, the First Order was watching her every move. She was part of them now. She wasn't supposed to be afraid of a little violence.

Kylo released his grip, and the man fell down to the ground, trying to regain his breath. He failed to get to his feet, instead, he raised his arm and pointed in the right direction.

Nara followed his direction and noticed a group of what looked like make shift tents in the distance. The fog was slowly clearing and finally she could see more of the surroundings. They were set up in a circle, the biggest one in the middle. She couldn't see any activity from this distance. Perhaps they had all hidden from Kylo, and she didn't blame them. While she had no clue what they were actually doing here, the people in those tents probably had an idea.

He began to move, his black robes swirling behind him, occasionally revealing the lightsaber that hung from his belt.

When she felt stormtroopers bump into her back, she realized she was supposed to go along as well. Nara swallowed and quickened her pace until she was next to Kylo again. The man he had just choked stayed behind, and she couldn't help but feel a little anxious.

They entered the biggest tent that was in the middle. Nara could see the flaps of the other tents close as soon as they stepped into the circle, and it became very clear that they were unwelcome here.

"Marr Potnelt" Kylo spoke softly.

When her eyes adjusted to the light she found several people sitting behind a large wooden table. The tent was bigger than she had expected, with a seating area in the front and she saw a flap covering whatever space there was in the back. The wind rushed under the fabric, but no one seemed to be bothered by it.

"Kylo Ren," the leader spoke, raising from his chair yet remaining safely standing behind the protection of his table. "What are you doing here?"

He spoke in an accent unknown to her. The leader was dressed in similar clothing as the messenger had been, and she couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't come out to meet Kylo outside.

"I thought you would be glad to have the First Order look over your planet," he began, his voice chilling even without his deformer. "But I seem to feel that we are _unwelcome_."

"You are indeed, Ren," Potnelt replied. "Grathus doesn't need the First Order."

Kylo chuckled.

"And that is where you are wrong. Soon the entire galaxy will be in our hands."

He took a step forward.

"And if you are not with us by then, you are against us."

"We will not bow down to kiss your feet, _Kylo Ren_."

A silence fell between them as a sly smirk unraveled on Kylo's lips. It wasn't until now that Nara realized what this mission was for. The First Order had offered the world of Grathus to pledge their allegiance to them. They were trying to colonize it.

"No kissing will be required," he replied, his fingers flexing by his side, as if he was trying to control the rage that was flowing through his veins. "I will be satisfied with an oath of allegiance."

Nara blinked and almost missed it. In front of them a rod of light hung still in the air, its energy making it buzz and hum. She turned her head to Kylo, her eyes widening. Someone had taken a shot at them.

"That was a very stupid idea," Kylo Ren spoke, his arm outstretched in front of him as he held both the rod and the one who shot it under his control.

"We cannot give up without a fight," Potnelt raising his arms apologetically.

Kylo shook his head, almost as if he was annoyed. The stormtroopers behind them had quickly entered the tent, their blasters pointed to the natives of Grathus.

Nara stood between them, completely transfixed with the rod hanging in the air. Her body was tensed and her mind was working overtime. What was she supposed to do? She had no weapon? How much he had promised her there would be no fighting, yet here they were.

He released the rod, and it hit the flap that hung behind Potnelt and his crew. The fabric blew backwards and Nara gasped in surprise when she saw more people with weapons were standing behind it. They had been blown back by the pressure, but quickly scrambled to their feet.

The only thing she figured she could do was duck.

As blaster rods flew around her head she did her best to get out of there. Without a weapon, there was no way to defend herself against everything that was happening.

She cursed as she crawled, heading for the opening at the opposite end of the tent. The rods kept flying and flying, but she had no time to look back over her shoulder to see who was winning this thing. Nara had to have confidence Kylo knew what he was doing.

A hand grabbed her by her collar and pulled her up.

"Quickly, go!" the stormtrooper said, giving her a push so she was able to leave the tent before he headed back in again.

Nara straightened her back and wiped her hair out of her face, viewing the situation from outside. The tent was getting pierced by the rods, creating holes everywhere they went. Soon the structure couldn't hold it all anymore, and the tent would collapse.

Her heart was pounding in her throat as she kept her gaze on the exterior. Around them, the village people had either concealed themselves, or deserted the place. It left only Nara outside of the mud planet, as she anxiously waited for everything to stop.

There he was. His tall stature contrasted against the fabric of the tent and the mud on the ground. In his hand he carried his ignited red lightsaber.

She released her breath in relief, and hurried forward as she tried to find his eyes, but he seemed to purposely look away.

The stormtroopers appeared behind them, and it didn't take long for the tent to collapse. Once the sheet fell down on the ground Nara noticed how it failed to reach the mud. Instead, it covered bodies, and there were many of them.

Nara swallowed as she narrowed her eyes, taking in the shapes of all the people who were laying before her.

"Are they dead?" she said, her voice almost trembling.

"Yes," Kylo nodded.

She looked up to meet him but he looked past her in the distance, his finger still gripping his lightsaber tightly.

Nara wanted to say something, but she quickly closed her mouth. She was part of them now. This is what the First Order wanted, so it should also be what she wanted. This mission had been one of colonization, and it appeared that the people of Grathus hadn't been keen on joining the First Order.

Her eyes fell on the bodies again. So many lives lost, and for what? She understood why they had to try to stand up against Kylo, but how could they not have realized that was a battle already lost. The First Order didn't take treason lightly, and the ferocity of their attack had surprised even Nara.

Never before had she seen Kylo in action like she had today. Now she understood why most of the galaxy had come to fear him. He was ruthless, and above all, merciless. He killed those people for virtually nothing. That blaster rod was no threat to someone like him, yet he had punished them harshly for their mistake.

The First Order was more brutal than she ever thought they were. Nara always had had some sort of idea how they dealt with thing, but seeing it with her own eyes confirmed everything that she was only to believe in the past.

"What will we do now, sir?" a stormtrooper said.

"Burn it all down," Kylo stated, as if it was nothing.

* * *

Everyone was calm on the bridge of Kylo's command shuttle. They all were proceeding with their tasks as if nothing had happened. Nara placed her hands on the back of a chair as she stared in the distance, quickly processing all that had happened before she would raise suspicions while at the same time remembering everything that had happened as well. The Resistance needed to know about this.

When she saw him coming for her, Nara pushed away the chair and folded her arms over each other before facing him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes genuinely concerned.

Nara forced a smile on her lips. _They were always watching her_.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Everything's fine."

His face had softened the moment they had set foot on his shuttle and left Grathus. It was almost as he became possessed by the Force when the fighting had broken out, only to break its spell the moment they were back into safety.

"What happened back there," he said, searching for his words. "That usually doesn't happen. I did not expect they would rebel against our rule."

Nara took a slow step forward and placed her hand on his arm.

"I'm not judging you in any way, Kylo. I'm happy you gave me the chance to see what the First Order does."

A gentle smile played on his lips as he leaned he bowed his head for a mere second.

"You did well," he complimented. "The way you handled yourself in that situation… I was not disappointed."

Nara chuckled. "All I did was duck and crawl. You should thank one of your stormtroopers. He helped me get out of there."

* * *

Informing the Resistance was getting harder and harder ever since Nara and Kylo had grown so close. Whenever she wanted to jump under the shower he would always want to join her, and she couldn't turn him down time after time, not without a good reason.

The only option she had was be quicker than he could be. The moment they reached his private quarters, Nara rushed for the bathroom, knowing it took him some time to take off his attire. Her fingers quickly found the tap and the room was again filled with the sound of the water hitting the basin before he could realize she was gone without him.

Before peeling off her own clothing to at least wet her hair and body, Nara activated the chip behind her ear. The humming sound felt familiar by now, and when there were no new messages for her Nara pressed again to record her own.

She told them all about Grathus, and the way the First Order is trying to colonize as much of the galaxy as possible. She also told them how they used any force necessary to obtain what they wanted, figuring that if she'd describe Kylo as brutal as possible they would think she wouldn't be sleeping in his arms tonight.

Once she felt satisfied with her message, she deactivated the chip again, sending it out in the galaxy. Finally she had something good for the Resistance, something that they could work with. Giving them something of substantial value felt good. This mission seemed to be finally paying off, and if she kept proving herself to both Kylo and the First Order she could find out much more.

He was already fully undressed and ready for her in bed. Nara had quickly pulled on a random t-shirt she found in the bathroom, her wet her dangling on her back. She bit her lip as she moved on the bed and placed herself besides him.

Kylo's lips immediately found hers, but before they would go any further Nara wanted to talk to him about something. Gently she placed her hand on his bare chest and pushed him backwards.

Leia's words had echoed throughout her mind over and over again. Her warning about not getting too close to Kylo had come too late, but what bothered her the most was that this entire thing was supposedly arranged by Snoke himself.

"Is Snoke okay, with," Nara paused and motioned with her hands. "Whatever this thing is."

Kylo's thumb drew circles on her thigh as he avoided her gaze for a mere second before looking back up to her. He nodded.

"Yeah, it is fine," he said, but the slight tremble in his words suggested that he wasn't as confident about it as she had hoped.

"Are you sure?" Nara tried again, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah," Kylo replied, more firmly this time. "Whatever helps me finish my training more quickly is fine by the Supreme Leader."

Nara sighed before she placed her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

"Look, Kylo. You know I love you, but you have to promise me that this thing between us is really something _you_ want."

His gaze never left hers. Sometimes she felt like his eyes were staring right in her soul, and then she was afraid he would see right through her lies and deceptions.

"I promise," he spoke as he nodded slowly. "Nara, I promise this is exactly what I want."

Her spirits were lifted as her heart started to beat faster. Leia had been wrong. Leia had been _wrong_.

"Oh," he said, as he leaned his head forward slowly, letting his lips almost touch hers. "I love you too."

* * *

 **A/N:** So sorry for the wait. After writing so many papers for university I fear I suffered from a mild writers block. I'll be seeing TFA again on Sunday, so I expect I want to write lots of chapters again after that. I can't wait to see my space babies on the big screen again.

I'm so happy the idea of a playlist is being supported so much. I haven't finished it yet though. I feel like I don't listen to enough 'obscure' bands to create a good list that is not full of pop music :'). I also want to create a 'cry' list and a 'party' mix. A kind user suggested a song by Zara Larsson to me, and it fits this story perfectly. Sadly it's a dance song so that doesn't really go with the rest of the songs I picked. So now I'll just create two!

I will just ask again, if anyone has any songs they'd like to see on either of the playlists, please tell me! All the help is truly appreciated.

Once again, thank you all so much for sticking with this story and reading it again. Please let me know your thoughts (and any song suggestions) and I will see you again soon. Take care!


	24. Chapter XXIV

Nara couldn't remember how long she had been with the First Order. By now she had fallen in a daily routine, and she knew the base by heart, even starting to recognize some of the officers. Whatever Kylo did all day was unknown to her, but slowly and surely she began to figure out this place. The First Order insignia on her shoulder was beginning to feel normal to her, and she knew that it shouldn't.

The Resistance did not transmit any messages to the chip behind her ear, but neither did Nara. Even though she was learning more and more about the First Order, she didn't have much that could help them with their objective. Nara still had no idea what planet they were on, and the longer they were here the more she began to believe that this was truly a planet in an unexplored area of the galaxy.

Even though she had learned so much about the First Order, Kylo still found ways to surprise her. Occasionally he opened up, letting her briefly in to only shut her out moments later. While their intimacy was not a problem, she still had trouble getting him to talk. Whatever he did every day or had done in the past affected him more than he perhaps would want to believe.

During one of their dinners together Nara decided to speak up and drop careful hints to get him to speak. If only he would let her in then she would fully be able to comprehend what he was going through. Maybe she would even understand why he had to murder his own father.

She lifted her eyes from her dinner and tried to catch Kylo's attention. The food they received on this planet was plain and scarce. The red soil wasn't suitable to grow any crops and it seemed as if they were either importing everything from other planets or they were slowly but surely going through their supply of food that was saved when Starkiller Base blew up.

Nara cleared her throat when he failed to meet her gaze. Finally, he looked up and slightly cocked his eyebrow.

"What happened with you and Luke," she spoke, carefully choosing her words, "you know when you two… separated your ways."

Kylo lowered his fork and remained silent for a mere second. For a moment, Nara thought she had made a mistake, but when he opened his mouth to reply she let out a soft sigh in relief.

"Do you want to know?" he asked her, his voice low.

Nara nodded. "I do," she replied.

Not only did she want to satisfy her own curiosity, she wanted to appear interested and invested in his actions. She was supposed to agree with everything the First Order did, and the more she could convince both them and Kylo that she was a part of them now, the better.

"I killed everyone," he said.

It was a simple statement, and Nara had already prepared herself for that. After everything she had seen during her time here, it did not even shock her anymore.

"Even the younglings?"

"Even the younglings," Kylo repeated. "Everyone had to go. It was necessary. The First Order can never conquer the entire galaxy with the Jedi Order around. They would have prevented us from doing our duty."

"But where was Luke?" Nara asked, figuring he had to be away when this all unraveled. Even though she knew Kylo was very powerful, he wasn't trained by Snoke back then. Luke would've overwhelmed him within an instant.

"He was too late. He should've felt it in the Force, but he is weaker than he pretends to be."

The hatred that dripped off his words was undeniable.

"The Knights of Ren helped to fulfill my destiny, and now they will help me destroy the final Jedi."

 _Luke_. He was the final Jedi, unless Rey had reached him in time and he would be training her. Then there would be two - and how long would it take before there were more again?

Nara didn't dare to bring that up. She didn't want to anger him with useless statements. The Resistance did not give her any information, so for all she knew Rey hadn't found him and he simply left the island he was supposed to be on.

"Were they also Jedi?" she continued to question, "the Knights of Ren?"

Kylo shook his head. "No, they are simply individuals who all possess a very specific set of skills, but above all they are very willing to do whatever is necessary to protect the First Order."

She narrowed her eyes, wondering what he meant by that. Stormtroopers were also supposed to do whatever was necessary, but it appeared that the Knights of the Ren were be obliged to do more than the average soldier. She couldn't help but think about whatever that could be. What could possibly be worse than serve the First Order?

Nara swallowed as she closed her eyes for just a moment. How could she be scolding the Stormtroopers for being obedient to the First Order. They had no other choice, yet while she had a choice she began to feel more and more at ease at the red planet surrounded by her enemies. The First Order was growing on her, how could she condemn others for experiencing the same feeling?

"One day I will get him" Kylo declared. "I will destroy Luke Skywalker with my bare hands. Then he will finally realize how powerful I have become."

Nara nodded, not sure what she should reply. She didn't want to see Luke die, but she also wanted to support Kylo in every way she could.

"The Resistance," he continued, "do you think they have the _girl_?"

She made sure her gaze wouldn't leave his as she spoke. The Resistance was a tricky subject. She could not reveal too much about it and neither too little.

"Rey?" Nara asked. "Yes. They have her."

Kylo sighed, and it was almost as if he was annoyed.

"How do you know for sure?"

Nara swallowed as her heartbeat slightly increased. Was this a trick question? Was this the moment where he would ask her about the transmitter behind her ear? Had he seen it? Had he heard her speak to them?

"She was already there before I left to join you," she spoke convincingly. It wasn't even a lie.

Much to her relief, Kylo nodded and didn't question her knowledge about Rey's whereabouts.

"The Supreme Leader has been speaking of her more often now. He tells me she is very strong with the Force, which I know - I have felt it. I just don't understand why he would be so interested in her. Am I not enough?"

Nara leaned forward over the table and took his hand into hers, feeling the rough skin of his fingers against the palm of her hand as a soothing smile appeared on her lips.

"You are more than enough, Kylo," she tried to convince him. "Snoke probably realized what a threat she could be, and he would rather keep her close. Perhaps she could be turned to the Dark Side and be used to both his and your advantage."

He had always been insecure, even when they were teenagers and had just fallen in love. Several times she had to convince him that it would be worth's Luke time to train him to become a Jedi. He constantly doubted his abilities, and while he didn't do that anymore, he still managed to be troubled by certain subjects. He always wanted to be the best - the greatest - and Rey was standing in his way.

"Snoke is just interested in her for her power, nothing more."

Nara realized how much her words sounded like the words Han had spoken moments before his death.

But Kylo nodded nevertheless, not hearing the link that tied her to his father.

* * *

With his fingers he pushed the hair that had clung to her face out of the way. Kylo cupped her cheeks, his hands so big he could hold onto her perfectly. The water streamed down between them, chilling Nara's body wherever it couldn't reach. The shower was small, but they didn't need much space anyway.

He brought his lips to hers, kissing her with fervor as his hands slipped down from her cheeks to her neck to her waist. The taste of his tongue almost made her turn back in time. Nara didn't want to open her eyes. If only she could pretend they were young again, and Snoke had never gotten hold of him. As long as they were covered by a blanket of water and steam she would believe they were teenagers again.

Nara pulled back to laugh as he pinched her skin, tickling her right where he knew she was the weakest. Playfully she shot him a warning look, but she could never resist him when he was being like this. The way he looked in the shower, with his hair wet and slicked back, and a flirtatious smile on his lips, it was impossible not to love him in this moment.

As she looked into his eyes it was hard to believe she as looking into the eyes of a stone cold killer. He murdered men, women, and children. He had murdered his own father, and everyone else who stood in his path. The only evidence of it being the scar that ran along the bridge of his nose. It had faded through time, but was still ever present.

Water streamed down her face which clouded her vision for a mere second. When she could see again she saw that same boy who once loved her. He still loved her now, but it was different. It was no longer Ben Solo she was entangled with, it was Kylo Ren, apprentice of Supreme Leader Snoke.

Yet as he held onto her body and pressed his lips against her neck it was so difficult to see the difference between the two men she both loved. Kylo Ren had done awful things, but her heart decided to forgive him for all of it. Perhaps she had done it with the hope Ben might return to her one day. It was an unlikely thought, but she wanted to hold onto the memory of him for as long as she could.

* * *

In the darkness of the night the world seemed to turn black. The redness of the soil faded away and the entire planet seemed to be cast in one giant shadow. It almost looked eery, as if the night brought out the literal dark side of everything.

Nara kept her gaze on the window, looking outside into nothing. She never saw anything happen or appear, and perhaps that was why she stared out so much, hoping that she could catch a glimpse of something happening some day.

When she heard Kylo turn in his sleep she looked over her shoulder, her eyes slipping up and down his bare torso, admiring how muscular he had become. Whatever Snoke was doing he had made sure he was in the best shape he had ever been in.

She turned her head back again, but nothing had changed in the darkness. Perhaps she was waiting for the Resistance to come and attack the planet, hoping they would have figured out the location she was on by themselves.

They still hadn't told her anything about their own whereabouts, and while it hurt that they wouldn't trust her with valuable information anymore, it was relieving at the same time. Not knowing meant she couldn't tell them anything. The First Order could not force the information out of here if she simply didn't know.

Kylo turned again. He grabbed the blankets that covered them strenuously, making them slip off Nara's body which exposed it to the cold environment of his living quarters.

She cocked her eyebrow at his sudden movement, but quickly her face softened when she realized his body was shaking and he was murmuring something she couldn't make out.

Nara brought her body closer, carefully placing her hand on his arms so she wouldn't scare him.

He didn't respond to her touch, and his breathing intensified. Kylo's chest heaved up and down and it wasn't until then she noticed a light layer of sweat covering his forehead.

"Kylo," she whispered, not sure what was happening and what she was supposed to do. He tossed and turned in his sleep often, but it appeared he was truly stuck in a nightmare and wasn't able to escape.

Suddenly he awoke. Kylo opened his eyes and immediately shot upwards before pressing himself against the headboard of their bed, grabbing the sheets tightly between his fists.

Nara's eyes widened as she waited for him to speak. Her hand still rested on his arm and his skin was beginning to feel hot to the touch.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice hushed even though they were by themselves.

He swallowed before narrowing his eyes. Kylo opened his mouth to speak, but it took some time for anything to come out. It was as if he was trying to process what he had seen first before sharing it with her.

"It was him," he spoke, his voice hoarse.

Nara shook her head, not sure who he was speaking of. The Force worked in a lot of mysterious ways and she never truly understood anything of it. She could only figure that either he had had a vision or a deeply disturbing nightmare.

"It was my father," he continued. "I keep seeing him in my dreams, falling down the pit."

His words brought back memories that she would rather forget. The way Han's lifeless body fell down into the depths of the unknown was an unforgettable image she would never be able to eradicate from her mind.

She brought her body even closer, putting her arm around him before placing her chin on his shoulder, but he had spoken again before she was able to do anything.

"I thought killing him would make everything easier, but it didn't."

 _Of course killing your own father will not make anything easier_ , but she couldn't tell him that. Murdering Han was the biggest mistake he had made so far, and it became apparent that he was realizing that as well.

"It will get better," Nara said, not sure if she was lying or not. "You must fuel your power with all this grief and anger you are feeling. It will help your training, you just need to let it help. Do not shut it out, let everything in. Then you will feel better, and become more powerful than you have ever been."

The words rolled off her tongue with ease, yet she was confused by everything she was saying. It was almost if she wasn't speaking herself and something else was telling him what he needed to hear. Some higher power had taken over her voice, and even though the words felt unfamiliar to her, they seemed to help. His breathing was slowing down and he opened his fists to let go of the sheets. Kylo then lifted his gaze and let them meet with hers.

"How can you be sure?"

Nara smiled softly. "I can feel it."

* * *

 **A/N:** Y'all are obsessed with Nara getting pregnant, lol. I will definitely take your wishes into consideration. The thing I want to avoid is their relationship becoming too much like Anakin and Padme, but I'll try to see if I can include it at some point.

I'm still working on figuring out how 8tracks works (which is where I'll be publishing the playlist) so sadly I don't have it ready at this time. I do want to thank you all for your lovely suggestions. I will look and listen to each and every one of them and I'll try to fit them in one way or another. If you still have any suggestions, now is the time to tell me! I'll try to finish the playlist at the same time I'll finish the next chapter.

I want to thank you all for still following this story. Reading all your amazing comments makes all this totally worth it, and even though since uni has started it's become harder to find the time to write, I still love doing it so much. I still have a lot of things I want to explore with this story and I can't wait to share it with all of you.

So as always, thank you so much for reading this chapter and please leave a comment with your thoughts. Please take care, and until next time!


	25. Chapter XXV

Her black armor had been laid out for her over the table that stood against the wall. The plastoid reflected in the light, and Nara could just spot two finger prints where it had been picked up and put down. It had been a while since she had worn it, and she had been planning on not wearing it anytime soon either. Sadly, it appeared that someone had other plans for her in mind.

Nara searched for some sort of note telling her what she was going to do. The armor being left here for her to see wasn't a coincidence. Something was expected of her, but she had no idea what.

Kylo had already left early in the morning, like he always did. It couldn't have been him who had put it here, so the fact that someone had been in his livings quarters while she was still asleep bothered her a little. It made her feel vulnerable, and that was something she did not want to be. This room was the only place where she felt completely safe. She didn't want that to change.

Reluctantly she put on the armor anyway, figuring there would be no way she could talk her way out of this one. Whatever they had planned for her, it would be a test. Everything here was. She was being watched at all times.

The plastoid material wasn't heavy, yet it was weighing her down nevertheless. While the First Order insignia did not bother her any longer, the armor still felt out of place. She was never a combat fighter. Not for the Resistance and not for the First Order.

She expected someone to come for her, but after eating the breakfast that presumably Kylo had left for her nobody came to retrieve her. Taking matters into her own hands, Nara opened the door of his living quarters to step out into the hallway, only to bump into someone standing right outside.

A soft yet controlled shriek escaped from her throat, and when she balanced herself again she realized she had walked straight into a stormtrooper.

"I have orders to take you to Captain Phasma," he spoke. She could hear the surprise in his voice.

"Phasma?" Nara repeated, ruffling her brows while she straightened her back. They were definitely planning something for her.

It felt strange knowing that the stormtrooper accompanying her down the base was no longer her captor but rather someone equal to her. She had no idea if she held any rank of some sort, but it felt good knowing they wouldn't treat her like she was their captive anymore.

They found Phasma at her usual spot, overlooking the training grounds. She was staring into the distance, keeping a close eye on her troops practicing with their blasters beneath them. Through the window Nara could see the dust rising up into the air from where the blaster rods had struck into the earth. The last couple of days she had seen more and more activity, and she began to wonder if they were training for something in particular.

As her eyes fell on the chrome helmet that covered Phasma's face it dawned on Nara she had never seen the captain's face. Whoever was under that mask remained a mystery, and now she started to think about it she couldn't help but ponder about what she looked like.

The captain turned herself to her, waiting a mere second before speaking.

"Your presence is requested at today's operation."

Nara nodded. She had already figured it would be something like this.

"Where are we going?"

"The location is not of importance," Phasma replied, her mechanical voice booming. "The only thing you should worry about is your performance today."

"Performance?" she questioned, trying her best not to sound too insecure. "What are we going to do?"

Even though Phasma was wearing a helmet, she could feel her gaze burning in her eyes.

"You'll see soon enough."

* * *

Nara recognized the planet the moment they arrived, and its inhabitants recognized them in return. Their appearance was not mistakable to anything else, and while they were not welcomed warmly, the inhabitants did not shy away for their presence either.

She had been here before. The forested planet they had landed on was called Malastare. She remembered all too well that one time she had flown here on a diplomatic mission to obtain the toxic fuel that could only be found beneath the surface. Poe had accompanied her, and even though they had failed to reach their objective the memory of it warmed her heart. Sometimes she seemed to forget how much she missed her friends.

They neared what was a city for Malastare standards. Dark brown metal plates were used to create houses and other buildings. In the distance she saw a similar plant to the one she had visited earlier in her life. It spewed thick clouds of smoke into the atmosphere, casting the planet in what seemed like an eternal darkness.

"Watch closely," Phasma ordered her before they entered one of the buildings. "Do as I do and do not hesitate."

Her words were warning and Nara made sure to pay attention to every little detail. The First Order could trust her, and she needed to show that with everything she did.

No knock on the door was necessary. With force the stormtroopers barged in, kicking down the furniture that stood inside in the process. The buildings looked shabby on the outside, but the interior of it was rather cozy. It appeared the inhabitants were trying their best to make the most out of what they had.

The humans inside immediately knew what they had come for. The woman rushed to another room, while the man stepped forward to defend himself.

"No! Please! Not my son," he pleaded, but neither Phasma nor the stormtroopers replied.

She motioned with her hand and two of the stormtroopers followed the woman to the other room. The man wanted to stop them, but he was quickly overpowered by the other stormtroopers present.

Nara's muscles froze as she watched the situation unfold from the back, still a little unsure of what they were doing.

The stormtroopers appeared again, but surprisingly without the woman. Her breath got trapped in her throat and her heartbeat stopped for just a second when her eyes fell on what the stormtrooper was holding.

Both the man and the woman began to whimper and protest, but nobody paid any attention to what they were saying. Stormtroopers kept them pinned down as one of their fellow soldiers took what was most valuable to them. _They were taking their baby_.

Without any further words they left behind the parents of the child, who now only had each other to hold as their baby was taken right before their eyes.

"What are you doing?" Nara hissed to Phasma when she managed to get closer.

They stepped outside, the stormtrooper with the baby immediately disappearing to their ship. The other inhabitants had by now understood what they had come for, and the streets of the city were deserted.

Phasma stopped and turned herself to Nara.

"Where do you think stormtroopers come from?" she spoke. "This is not a Clone Army. These soldiers are trained from birth to become part of the best fighting force in the galaxy. We do not breed them, we form them."

Nara swallowed as she tried to keep her expression as neutral as possible. They were stealing babies. They were taking children from their parents to have them become soldiers for the First Order. She had never thought before about where they had gotten all of their stormtroopers, but everything had suddenly fallen into place.

"Do you have a problem with our methods?" Phasma asked.

She couldn't give away her disdain with the situation. Nara forced her eyebrows into a frown and looked Phasma in her eyes through her vizor.

"No," she said firmly, even though she was crumbling inside.

"Excellent," Phasma said, not a hint of emotion heard in her voice. She extended her arm and pointed to the next building. "Show us."

Nara was struck by the way she said "us". This was most definitely a test, and she wasn't only proving herself once more to Phasma, but to the entire First Order. As much as this went against everything she believed in, she couldn't come across as weak or in any doubt. This had to be done.

She nodded fast and proceeded towards the next building, mentally preparing herself for what she would find inside. In a moment she would take away the love of someone's life. She was going to steal a child for the First Order's aid. If Leia or Poe, or anyone else of the Resistance would see her now...

Stormtroopers accompanied her. They kicked down the door in the same way. This was a job they had done a hundred times before. Stealing baby's was First Order protocol, and it seemed as if no one questioned the ethics of it.

Her heart pounded as they allowed her to be the first to enter. In the black armor she stood apart from the rest of them. For an outsider it looked like she was their leader.

They had been expecting their visit. The parents were pressed against the wall, the father holding onto their son while the mother firmly held the baby in her arms. They weren't willing to let go and it pained Nara to have to prove them otherwise.

Her eyes scanned the smaller boy, who didn't look scared in the slightest. His eyes were big but he seemed to be more confused than anything else. He had no idea she was about to take his sibling away from him.

"Take the baby," Nara ordered, the coldness in her voice surprising her.

* * *

Never before had she felt so disgusted with herself. Without mercy she stole children away from their parents, the sole reason being that the First Order needed them for their ever increasing army. What she had done was heinous and unforgivable, and she couldn't even convince herself that what she had done was for the greater good.

Nara wanted nothing more than to get rid of the armor she was wearing, hoping that it would eliminate that desolate feeling that had taken hold deep inside of her. While she had performed her duty well, it had made her feel only worse and worse. Was this how Kylo felt when he killed Han? Was this supposed to empower her in some way?

After going through all the individual houses they had returned to their own planet. On board, the babies were nowhere to be found, but it was better if she didn't know where they had taken them. She desperately wanted to learn they were alright and being treated well, but she couldn't show that she cared.

"General Hux wants to speak to you," Phasma said before they were able to leave the ship. "I suggest you find him as soon as possible."

Nara's heart dropped. If anyone was able to make her feel even worse than she already did it would be him. Undoubtedly he was going to question her about her performance on Malastare. She had done more than her absolute best, what had she done wrong now?

Instead of finding him, Hux found her. She had hardly been able to enter the building before he had appeared in front of her, motioning with his hand for her to follow him. With a heavy heart she followed him through their base into what looked like his office. Nara was already more than glad he hadn't brought her to an interrogation chamber.

After all this time she had been here, Hux still managed to find a way to surprise her. He asked her nothing about their mission, instead he focused on something else entirely.

"The disappearance of Luke Skywalker has bothered us greatly," he began as he sat down behind his desk while Nara sat down in front of it.

She twisted her fingers together as she cocked her eyebrow ever so slightly. Was this what was so important she was to find him as quickly as she could? She couldn't deny she was a little disappointed. After everything she went through for the First Order on Malastare she expected at least a tiny bit of recognition. Perhaps she had to figure that no news in this case would be good news. Hux would take any opportunity to scold her, and the fact that he didn't could be positive.

"We fear that he has fallen into the hands of the Resistance. Do you know more of it?"

Nara shook her head immediately, feeling thankful the Resistance hadn't shared anything with her anymore. While it felt like a stab in the back at first, not having to lie to the First Order felt relieving.

"As you know I have renounced my ties to the Resistance. Whatever they are doing, I have no knowledge of it."

Hux nodded slowly. "And you are sure of this?"

"I am," Nara said as she forced a sly smile on her lips. "How would I know? It is not like they could contact me when I am here. I don't even know where I am."

The transmitter was burning behind her ear, and as she spoke her words Nara quickly moved her head back and forth to make her hair fall over her ear, concealing it from Hux.

He narrowed his eyes as he watched her closely, as if he was trying to figure out if she was lying or not.

She felt uncomfortable, and above all she was desperate not to let this conversation get too far. Hux could interrogate her all he wanted, but she had to show him she wasn't a prisoner anymore. She had led a squad of stormtroopers for crying out loud, she was far from a captive anymore.

"Anything else?" she spoke, her voice challenging.

* * *

Kylo's wounds were finally starting to heal. The cuts were slowly transforming into large scars like the one that ran across the bridge of his nose. Both Chewbacca and Rey had hurt him badly, and Nara still couldn't understand how he was able to withstand the pain during all that time.

Her finger traced the outline of the bowcaster shot that had hit him in his side. The wound had been deep, and medics feared it would get infected, but something had protected him from all of it. It was very obvious that the Force had more power than anyone could ever comprehend. And to imagine there were still people believing that it was all just a myth.

"I spoke to Phasma," Kylo began, his eyes searching for hers, but Nara couldn't pull away from his scars. "She told me you did very well today."

Finally she lifted her gaze. The Captain hadn't said anything about her performance to her personally. If she had done anything wrong she would have undoubtedly heard about it, but the fact that Phasma had complimented her meant a lot, even if what she had done was the most twisted thing in the galaxy.

"She did?" Nara asked for confirmation. After everything she had been through she deserved a little bit of praise. She needed to hear she hadn't done it all for nothing.

"Yeah," Kylo nodded, a slight smile playing on his lips which she also found in his eyes. "Captain Phasma was very impressed with you. Apparently you showed no hesitation and did exactly what was desired."

Nara matched her smile to his. She knew what she had done was wrong and went against everything she believed in, but she couldn't help but feel a little proud that her work had finally been recognized. Perhaps they would entrust her with even more information now.

"I guess I did do well," she said before leaning forward to press a quick kiss on his lips.

His fingers suddenly found her hand. Kylo took it into his and pulled her closer to him, his expression intensifying as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Nara, I am so proud of you. What you have done cannot be underestimated. Turning your back on everything you thought was right and fully embracing the First Order. I know how hard it can be."

Nara shifted her position so she created a little distance between them. For a moment, she dodged his gaze, swallowing before looking back up again.

"With you here by my side I can complete my training much faster. The Supreme Leader sees it as well."

She forced a smile on her lips. In other circumstances his words would have warmed her heart, but she had to face the reality. Even though it appeared she was doing her job, she couldn't fall into the hands of the First Order all together. Constantly she needed to remind herself what she was doing here, and truth to be told it was getting harder and harder.

It was as if the First Order was consuming her.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you all for being so patient with me. I know I'm updating a lot less than I used to and than I hoped to, but sadly university is taking a lot of my time right now. Rest assured: I'm not abandoning this story at all or losing interest, I just need to find more time.

I've received more reviews saying you'd love for Nara to get pregnant. I'm taking it into consideration ;)

And now for some more good news: I've finally finished the playlist! I have to tell you all that I listen to a lot of 'mainstream' music, so please don't hate me for not using these obscure bands and what not. I really tried my best with creating something I thought would fit Nara and Kylo's relationship. Hopefully you all like it as well. Another playlist with more uptempo songs is coming in the near future! I am not sure if I am allowed to put a url so you can find me on 8tracks as ScarletttMae (three T's) and the playlist is simply called and tagged as Runaway. If you have any trouble finding it send me a message and I'll direct you to the right playlist :)

Anyway, as always please leave a review with your thoughts. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and liked the playlist and I will see you again soon. Please take care 3


	26. Chapter XXVI

The water came splashing down and instantly warmed her body. After Kylo had left in the morning she had slipped into the bathroom, quickly turning on the shower before taking off the shirt she had worn to bed. It was still the only place on this entire planet where she was alone and safe from her surroundings.

Nara had purposely waited for him to leave, as she feared he would might start questioning her frequent use of the shower. After Hux spoke to her about Luke she couldn't stop thinking about him. Was he with the Resistance? Was he alone somewhere? Had he heard the First Order was coming to get him? She needed to know what was going on, and so she had worked up the courage to ask Leia about it the night before.

Her finger pressed the chip, and her body relaxed when she heard her voice in her ear. Even after all this time, it still managed to put her at ease, and sometimes she couldn't help but long for it. Leia reminded her of home, a place where she was a better person.

"Nara," Leia began. "I can imagine you are very curious as to where Luke might be at this moment in time, but I fear it would be unwise to inform you of his whereabouts. The council has decided that we should share less information with you."

Her shoulders tensed again as she closed her eyes and moved her head backwards so her entire face was covered in water.

"It would be for your own safety, as for ours."

They still didn't trust her. For some reason, she had already expected as much, but she had hoped that after all the information she had given them she had earned some of that trust she had lost when she told the First Order about D'Qar back.

"Take care, Nara."

The voice was gone. Static filled her ear as she quickly pressed the transmitter to get rid of the horrible sound.

* * *

Nara had been right to think something had been going on. All those stormtroopers she had seen training for some time now had indeed been preparing for something specific. Their activity hadn't been a coincidence.

"We're attacking D'Qar tomorrow," Kylo spoke just before she was about to close her eyes to go to sleep.

Her body froze as her chest tightened. She bit her lip before turning her body around to face him. His statement had been so simple, it was as if it was like any other missions the First Order performed daily. They were going to attack the Resistance on their home planet, and it was being shrugged off like it was nothing.

"Really?" Nara said, forcing a smile on her lips while she did her best to sound interested while she knew she was crumbling inside.

Most First Order missions let to some form of success in one way or another, but she knew that this one was going to fail. For so long she had put the potential of their attack out of her mind, telling herself to worry about it when they would start planning it. It seemed like that moment had finally arrived, and it made her more nervous than anything else. The Resistance was gone, and they would find out tomorrow.

"We are attacking with all of our forces," he continued, his eyes meeting hers. It was impossible to detect any form of emotion in his voice. Even without his mask Kylo had learned to shield himself off from everyone else. "I want to be in control of everything. Nothing will be left to chance."

Nara mirrored him and kept her face as stern as she possibly could. They were in for a hell of a disappointment tomorrow. The Resistance was not on D'Qar anymore, the planet she had told the First Order they would be at. For so long they had trained their forces for the biggest offensive in a while, and it would lead to nothing but disappointment and failure.

 _And Nara feared they would blame her for it_.

"Do you think they'll know you are coming?" she tried, hoping she could indirectly instill some sort of sense in him that they perhaps could have left earlier.

Kylo shrugged. "I don't know, and frankly, I don't care. Whether they are prepared or not, we have better weapons, better ships, and better soldiers. There are more of us than there are of them. What happened on Starkiller Base was luck, nothing else."

Nara had to agree that the plan to blow up the First Order's previous planet was one of high unlikelihood, and the fact that it had worked was a miracle in its own right, yet how could Kylo deny the skill of the Resistance? Even if it was down to luck, they managed to destroy the First Order once, perhaps they could do it again.

"Are you bothered by it?" Kylo then asked, his voice cutting through the silence like a knife. "Many of your friends could be killed."

Her heart skipped a beat before she turned her gaze to him, looking him directly in his eyes. She couldn't show him anything that could relate her to weakness, and as time progressed acting stone cold became easier and easier.

"No," she stated. "They are rebels and deserve to be punished."

Her mind flashed to an image of Poe. He was flying his X-Wing through a series of explosions and blaster rods. Being a good pilot, he maneuvered swiftly through the action, but even he couldn't outfly the First Order. Eventually, his ship headed straight to the ground, and once it collided a large ball of fire went up in the air, leaving behind nothing but smoke and rubble.

"Kill them all," Nara said. She leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on his lips, her hand resting on his bare chest before she repeated her words. "Kill them _all_."

* * *

Nara didn't know what was worse, having to participate in combat or staying back on base to watch it unfold on monitors in the control room. She felt helpless, and above all, she had nothing to keep her mind busy. Constantly she was going over what she was going to tell Kylo, Hux, and Snoke as to why the Resistance had already left D'Qar before they had a chance to attack.

Earlier, she had helped Kylo put on his armor underneath his usual attire. It seemed that after being shot down by a bowcaster and cut by Rey's lightsaber he wasn't taking any more risks. He assured her he was getting stronger as well, and it seemed like he was becoming truly invincible.

When he had spoken to her in his deformed voice she hadn't heard for so long, it had taken her by complete surprise. He had been wearing a mask, but it wasn't like the one he used to wear before it was destroyed together with Starkiller Base. While his voice sounded distorted like it once did, the helmet itself looked very different.

Nara had traced its outlines with her fingers. It was similarly black, and resembled Darth Vader's mask heavily, yet this one felt even more menacing than the one he had worn before. It had sharp edges and the material felt smooth under her fingers. Where his first mask had looked crude and unfinished, this one was complete and finished. Next to his roughly assembled lightsaber it felt out of place, and Nara wished he had continued fighting without one.

Their ships had jumped into hyperspace. It would only take a short while before they would arrive at D'Qar, and it would take even shorter for them to realize the planet had been abandoned.

She had chosen a seat near the back of the control room where she had a perfect view of the monitor, but where she wasn't right in the middle of all the action. Her eyes found Hux near the front as he confided in his lieutenants. He was overseeing the mission from here while Kylo was leading it from the ground.

Tension hung in the air as there ships approached D'Qar. Nara brought her thumb to her lip as she kept a close watch on the screen. The distance between them became smaller and smaller with every second, and when the fleet slowed down she realized they were there.

D'Qar was now in view, and her heart skipped a beat upon the sight of it. It had been some time since she had last seen it like this, the only other time being through a holo. It was still as lush as she remembered, the nature not resembling the situation that they were in at all. If anything, it looked as untouched as it always had been.

"ETA in one minute," someone spoke.

The ships came closer and closer. They were already in the atmosphere of the planet, and in just a few moments they would realize that the Resistance was gone.

But then a beeping sound filled the room.

"We're getting heavy fire from the south," a controller said as he frantically pressed buttons on his control panel.

Nara's brows ruffled as she raised from her chair, taking a few slow steps forward. _Heavy fire_? How was that possible? The Resistance had left. They weren't on D'Qar anymore, or were they?

More systems began to beep. She lifted her eyes to the screen, watching events unfold closely. One of the ships had been hit, and it appeared it had been struck so badly it was going down.

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she couldn't believe what she was seeing. The Resistance was supposed to be gone. They were supposed to have left. What the hell was happening?

"Give them authorization to use any force necessary to get down on that planet," Hux said loudly over the commotion of the people in the control room. "Tell Ren to destroy the planet if he does not reach his objective in due course."

"But, sir," a lieutenant spoke hesitantly. "Luke Skywalker might be there."

Hux turned himself to the officer. "I do not care for Ren's personal interests. Whether we land on that planet, or blow it up, Skywalker will die."

The fleet began to fire back, and through the explosions they managed to get closer to the surface of the planet. The screen in the control room switched to the point of view of a stormtrooper. Nara saw her home through the eyes of someone else, and it made her feel anxious, especially now that the Resistance might still be there.

The room grew silent when the ships reached the ground. It had landed right on the airstrip where the Resistance had their hangars and stored their ships. The ramp of the transporter opened and the stormtroopers left the ship, advancing quickly through the airstrip. It was familiar to Nara, yet it didn't bring any warm feelings back to her. It was just an airstrip. Nothing more than tarmac and hangars which were almost falling apart. While she had seen Poe take off and land a million times, she couldn't imagine him there at all anymore. It felt strange.

Her heart fluttered for a moment when she saw Kylo. He had his lightsaber ignited in his hand as he watched over his soldiers closely. Nara wished she could have seen more of him, but the stormtrooper changed directions and she lost sight of him.

The squadron they were following went to the first hangar. Nara held her breath, not sure what to expect at all anymore, but when she realized it was empty she released it slowly. Then reports came in that all the other hangars, as was the control tower, were completely deserted as well.

"Satellite dishes are non-operational," Captain Phasma's voice boomed through the room. "It appears this base has not been used for some time."

Nara swallowed and took a step back again.

"The Resistance has put up an automatic weapons defense system, which was advanced enough to shoot down one of our transporters. The planet of D'Qar is deserted."

She closed her eyes for a mere second as she caught herself in disappointment. Was she hoping they would have been there after all? Perhaps she did. At least she would not have to come up with an excuse for why they could have already left the planet before the First Order was able to attack.

"How is that possible?" Hux fumed.

He spun on his heel, and turned himself to her. His voice radiated anger.

"Explain this!"

"I don't know," Nara spoke, shaking her head in confusion as she did her best to steady the tone of her words. "I really don't know. They weren't planning on leaving anytime soon when I was still with them."

All eyes seemed to be on her as everyone forgot to look at their monitors. She could feel them silently judging her, and Nara could only hope they wouldn't see through her lies.

"You have to believe me, I have no idea where they have gone and why they have gone. I have been here the entire time, I really, truly do not know."

She doubted Hux believed her. As always he needed more convincing and Nara wondered if the day would ever come that he would for once trust her words.

He ruffled his brows as his eyes piercing through hers.

"I will let Ren deal with you."

He then turned himself back to the screen again as the entire control room quietly did the same.

* * *

Nara had retreated to Kylo's living quarters. She didn't want to be in that space anymore. She didn't want them looking at her, wondering whether she was telling the truth. All the trust she had earned seemed to have been gone. Whenever she took a step forward it seemed to be followed by a few steps backwards.

Waiting for him to return felt nerve wrecking, especially after what Hux had told her. _Kylo will deal with you_. It sounded menacing, and for the first time since she had been here seeing him felt a little daunting. What was he going to do?

Time passed slowly, but when she heard heavy footsteps approaching the livings quarters everything seemed to go fast again. Suddenly Nara forgot everything she had thought up to say. She needed more time to prepare, but the door swung open before she could even begin to think.

Her body tensed when she saw the mood he was in. He had already removed his helmet and placed it on the table. It came down with a crash, making Nara winch ever so slightly. She wanted to pull up her legs to her chest, but she couldn't show him her vulnerability. He would know something was wrong.

Kylo didn't speak, yet he didn't need to. HIs face screamed thunder, and as he angrily began to remove his clothing she knew enough.

Nara didn't dare to speak. She didn't know what to say either. Instead she chose to remain seated on their bed, her arms crossed in front of her chest for some sort of protection while she waited for him to finish undressing.

He had his back towards her as he began to speak, his fingers fumbling with the fabric of his attire.

"The entire planet was deserted."

His voice made her body tingle. It sounded perhaps more menacing than his distorted voice ever could. It screamed pure anger, annoyance, and above all, disappointment.

"The Resistance was definitely there. We found their base, and their equipments they seemingly left behind, but of course, nothing of value."

Kylo turned his face to her.

"How is that possible?"

Nara felt her heart rate increasing as the temperature began to rise. She couldn't speak the truth. It would leave him with no choice but to kill her. She had to lie, and where that once felt good it didn't anymore. She loved the Resistance, but she loved Kylo more.

"I don't know," she said, as she straightened her back. "I do not know, Kylo. They were still there when I left, and as far as I know they had no plans of leaving."

She tried to read his expression but just like his face she came up blank.

"Look, Kylo." Nara pushed herself upwards, her feet firmly on the ground as she never lost eye contact. "I wasn't a high-ranking official. Leia might have had plans I knew nothing about. I have been here the entire time, whatever was going on on D'Qar I know absolutely nothing about."

He didn't reply, and that hurt her even more than if he had spoken.

"Kylo, you have to believe me, I did not know."

She felt his eyes burning through hers. He remained standing, his fingers flexing every now and again, and when she began to feel her senses prickle, and flashing of pain going through her head she slowly realized what he was doing.

Quickly Nara looked away, averting her gaze to the ground. The sensation stopped, but she could still feel his presence.

"How dare you use that on me," she spoke, her blood boiling.

After everything she had done for him Nara would have never expected he would do something like that. Her mind was the only thing that was private, it was the only space where she could be safe, and now she even had to be careful about what she was thinking.

"I have to know why and how the Resistance left," Kylo said, as if that was a good enough reason for him to enter her mind. Never before did she think he would hurt her, but it appeared that he hadn't been the only one living in a lie.

Nara knew he was still able to get whatever he wanted even without her looking in his eyes. Yet she didn't dare to look up anymore. Instead, she took a step forward. She needed to get out of here. She couldn't be with him knowing he would try to force his way into her mind. He would see everything. Her lies, her deceptions. He would see her ties to the Resistance. He would have to kill her.

"I can't believe you don't trust me," she said, her voice low. "After everything I have done for you…"

She wanted to go past him, but when she was about to his fingers found her wrist. Nara looked up to let her gaze meet his, and she was determined to let him know he wasn't going to get away with this. He could use his mind tricks on prisoners, but not on her. She had been a prisoner once, but not anymore.

Without speaking anything else she pulled away her arm, which he reluctantly let go. Nara continued walking, not daring to look back. Her heart rate seemed to increase to impossible levels and her mind was spinning. She opened the door and before he was able to speak or do anything else, she disappeared.

* * *

 **A/N:** Finally a new chapter! I am sorry that it took so long, but sadly I have been extremely busy with university and I was out of the country for a few days. Hopefully I can make it up with this chapter. I couldn't wait to write some sort of conflict in this again, and I feel like this was the perfect moment.

If you did not have a chance to listen to the first playlist/mix I made for this story you can find me on 8tracks as ScarletttMae (three t's).

I will do my best to upload again as fast as possible. In the meantime, please leave behind a comment with your thoughts and please take care 3


	27. Chapter XXVII

Nowhere was safe. Not even her mind was anymore, Kylo had made sure of that. He had been the only one she could trust her life with, but not anymore. The trust was gone, and she was on her own.

Escaping had crossed her mind. She remembered Poe's flight training all too well and it wouldn't be so hard stealing a TIE fighter. But then she remembered how the Resistance didn't trust her either, and she had absolutely no idea where they were. With nowhere to go, and no one to help her hide, running away from the First Order wasn't an option. They would find her, and kill her. She knew too much.

The only option she had left was emerge herself in the First Order. If she couldn't beat them, why not join them. The chip was still behind her ear, and while the Resistance may not trust her yet, perhaps she could convince them by giving them more and more information.

Nara found an abandoned room to sleep in. It reminded her of her old cell, and maybe that was what it was. The irony of it all made her laugh. No shackles were binding her hands, yet it here she was again, a prisoner of the First Order.

The night was cold, but it was the loneliness that bothered her the most. For so long she had shared his bed and felt his body pressed against hers. Nara missed his presence, and even though he had violated her privacy, she couldn't help but long for it. How had she ever managed to go without it all those years?

When the dawn came she had no idea if she had even slept at all, but it did not matter. She had only one thing she wanted to focus on today, and that was avoid Kylo. He had taken advantage of her trust and her love. He should to feel the pain she was feeling. He didn't deserve her back. Not yet.

After breakfast, which she had with the stormtroopers in the mesh hall (which was met with a lot of strange looks), Nara made sure to find Captain Phasma. She was still dressed in her casual clothing, but she didn't dare to go back to the living quarters to get something else.

Nara waited patiently until Phasma was done discussing with her commanding officers. Once again she was wearing her chrome armor. Whoever was underneath that helmet remained a mystery, but by now it had become hard to imagine her in something else than the shiny material.

She saw herself in the reflection of her backplate while she waited for her turn to speak. Finally Phasma spun on her heel, took a moment to take in the sight of Nara, and then nodded once as to indicate it was alright to speak up.

"I want to volunteer," Nara said, coming straight to the point. She had overheard the stormtroopers speaking of another recruiting mission during breakfast. Apparently they were heading to a different planet to pick up some more prospects. While the methods of the First Order went against everything she believed in, right now Nara wanted nothing more to get off this planet for just a while, and if she couldn't go by herself than going with Phasma was her only other option.

"You want to volunteer?" Phasma repeated slowly, her voice mechanic yet melodic at the same time.

Nara nodded. "Yes. I've done this before, I know I can do it again. Please, let me go."

The captain hesitated for a moment, but eventually she nodded.

"You proved yourself last time. I can only hope that you will not let yourself down this time."

"I won't," Nara said quickly. "I will not let you or the First Order down."

Phasma took a step forward as she nodded once slowly.

"Good. I expect you here in your armor in an hour. Do not be late."

Before she was able to speak the captain strode past her. Nara blinked and then quickened her pace to catch up again. Her outfit was a slight problem, and she could only hope that Phasma wouldn't mind her wearing something else.

"Is it alright if I wear white armor?" she said, thinking of something to say as she went along. "I think it feels better if I am dressed like the soldiers. I don't want them to think I am above them. I deserve the same treatment."

Phasma stopped in her tracks.

"Ren requested the black armor for you specifically, I doubt he would…."

"He doesn't mind," Nara interrupted, her eyes widening. "Besides, this is about my leadership, and not about what he wants. I would feel better wearing the white armor."

Phasma hesitated once again, and Nara could only hope her unusual demand wasn't irritating her. If anything she hoped it _would_ annoy Kylo. It would show him she is and will never be under his control.

"Very well," she finally spoke. "Report to RK-949. She will give you everything you need."

* * *

Nara felt like she was one of them. The white plastoid covered her body, even her face, and made her feel indestructible. The black material of her previous uniform had made her stand out from the other stormtroopers. It had made her feel like she didn't belong, and she was different from them. Now that she was dressed alike there was no difference between her and the rest anymore. They were all First Order.

She had no idea what their destination was, and she couldn't care enough to ask. The main reason she was here was to get her mind off things and get out of there for just a day. If Kylo could leave her head for a mere five minutes this could be considered a success.

The transporter was full of stormtroopers, mingling about before they would make their final descent onto the surface of the planet. Phasma had instructed her to do the same thing she had done before. With her own squad she was supposed to take as many potential soldiers as she could.

Nara looked out over the desert planet in the cockpit. It reminded her of Jakku, but she was sure it was different world. Life on Jakku was hard, and she doubted many people would bring life onto a world covered in nothing but sand and hardship.

"Get ready!" she instructed her squadron.

They neatly came to stand behind each other, forming separate lines, ready to be dropped off on wherever they would land. According to Phasma, this world was a hostile one, and while Nara had always been reluctant to carry a weapon it left her no choice.

A great leader should be in the front of the battle, she knew that much. But with little combat experience Nara had retreated to the back. She didn't want to put herself, or her squadron, in unnecessary risks.

As the back of the transporter opened up to reveal nothing but sand and stone huts, stormtroopers began to exit the spacecraft. The temperature of the planet immediately hit her, and Nara quickly turned off the safety on the blaster as soon as she heard the first signs of shots being fired.

It struck her how they never invaded densely populated planets with bustling cities and metropolises. Time after time they chose the smallest, ill-equipped, and above all, poorest worlds to put on their mark. The First Order struck where they knew they could dominate. Whatever fight the locals would put up, they would always win. They never fought unless the odds were in their favor.

Blaster rods flew around them. Nara ducked and narrowed her eyes. She was last to leave the transporter and her first instinct was to follow the stormtroopers who belonged to her squadron. For a moment she regretted coming along. She was not suited for combat, but then she saw flashes of Kylo in her mind and she remembered why she was here. He couldn't control her.

They hid behind stacks of junk. The scraps of metal were destroyed to unrecognizable degree, but they served their purpose well. The shots fired at them were stopped and for a moment Nara was safe.

She took the seconds she had to regain her breath, put her mind at ease, and prepare herself for what was to come. Her back was pressed against the metal, and it wasn't until she saw her squadron looking at her for orders she remembered she was leading them.

Her head turned to the right, before looking to the left. Her eyes found the other squad leaders, and quickly she figured out what they were doing and she told her own troops to do the same.

As some provided covering fire, the rest stood up, moved away from behind the scraps and advanced towards the stone huts. Nara could do nothing but follow them. Although she had little combat or leadership experience, she did not want to disappoint. She couldn't stay back the entire fight.

From the corner of her eyes she saw Phasma entering the first hut. Screams erupted from inside, and strange sensation filled Nara's body. It wasn't pity, and it wasn't despair. Something inside of her was roaring, and before she realized what it was they had reached their own objective.

"On three," one of her troops said, using his fingers to count down the seconds before they would enter the hut.

Nara kept a close watch to his hand as her heart started to pound as time seemed to slow down. Three seconds suddenly went on for hours, and by the time they were entering the stone home she had become anxious for some action.

"HANDS UP!" they yelled in various ways.

Her eyes widened as she saw a single solitary man inside. He did as he was told, and put up his hands as he pressed his back in the similarly stone chair he was seated in. The man looked malnourished, and sickly, but what struck her most was the fear in his eyes.

"Find the prospect," Nara said, nodding to her troops who quickly followed her orders. Phasma had given her this hut as an objective, so there should be a baby for the First Order to take. The man looked to be all by himself, but he wasn't fooling her.

Her eyes never left his body as her soldiers went to locate the baby. He kept himself perfectly still, motionless even, as if all life had left him. Her brows ruffled. Something wasn't right. While his gaze screamed fear, it wasn't for them. He didn't even flinch at the slightest movement they made. He was afraid for something else.

A stormtrooper opened a wooden chest that stood in the corner of the room. It was covered by a dark red and thick blanket, which was again covered by a light layer of dust, and even though Nara didn't want to pull away her gaze from the man she couldn't contain her curiousness.

But her head immediately shot back when she heard the local move.

As her heart made a leap she quickly took a step forward and grabbed him by his shirt. It was rough, old, and depreciated, just like everything else on this planet was.

"Stay down," she said warningly, showing him her rifle. "You two, keep an eye on him."

She pointed to two of her soldiers as she made her way back to the chest. It was obvious something of importance was inside. Not once during their visit had the man moved, but as soon as they touched the chest he had practically jumped.

Nara bit her lip as the stormtrooper opened up the chest. It was almost as if she was expecting it to be full of gold, but instead of its gleam blinding her eyes she was blinded by something else.

She spun on her heel, shocked by what she had seen. The cabinet had looked out of place in the barren stone hut, and it contained an entirely different treasure than might be expected.

The hut was quiet except for the soft wimpers of the man. Nara took in a deep breath before releasing it slowly. She knew people feared the First Order, but never before had she expected people to go to such lengths to protect their loved ones.

"As that your son?" Nara asked, her eyes fixated on the sand as she tried to get rid of the image in her head.

The man didn't respond until a stormtrooper poked his side with his blaster.

"Yes," he said, his heart heavy, and his voice trembling.

Nara shook her head in disbelief. The man had murdered his own son. He had taken the life of his own flesh and blood and hid the body, just so he wouldn't have to fight for the First Order. Life as a stormtrooper was apparently a life not worth living.

Her eyes met his. She took a step forward so she stood before him. With him seated down she towered over him, and for a moment she had never felt more powerful.

"You killed your own son?" she continued. "You _butchered_ him."

"No," the man said in defiance with new found bravery. "I protected him. From _you_."

Nara scoffed. "Protected him? You took away his life! Your son could have prospered in the First Order. What future does a boy have coming from a planet like this? With the right training he could have become an officer, an important figure in the First Order. What does he have now?"

She had no idea where the words were coming from. It was as if they had been programmed in her mind, ready to be spoken. Being part of the First Order had felt so wrong once, but never before had she really seen its potential. Never before had she thrived so much as now under its influence.

"He does have a life. A happy one. A _fulfilling_ one, without evil."

"I am afraid I have to punish you for this. Your son could have been very valuable to us, and now we have nothing," Nara said thoughtfully as she completely ignored his comments. "What can we have in return."

"Take me," the man pleaded. "Take me instead of my son."

"We have no use for you," Nara replied. "You are old, worthless."

She raised her blaster, and aimed it right at his chest.

"Good bye."

Her finger found the trigger, the only thing left to do was to squeeze. The rod flew out of the barrel and headed straight for his heart. It took his life, as it took Nara's righteousness.

* * *

Blood isn't visible on black, but it is on white. Nara looked down to her hands, her stomach, and her knees. The crimson had left behind stains and splatters. It was proof of her deeds, and Phasma had personally commented her for her effort, and her leadership. But why had it all felt so good back then and so bad right now?

She had taken a life today. Her mind replayed the moment every chance it had, the events unfolding all again right before her eyes. _The man had killed his own son, what you did was right. He had to go. He can't cheat the First Order_.

Phasma had requested her to join her to go over the mission once more. She asked her about the man she had shot, the baby, the other children she had taken for the First Order to train. All in all she had performed well, but it didn't make her as proud as she hoped it would be.

When Nara was ready to retreat back to the cell she had claimed as her own living quarters for the time being, Phasma had ordered her to stay, stating she was still needed. Hux had called together a meeting, and the captain figured that Nara could be of importance.

Any meeting with Hux she liked to avoid, but there was no way getting out of this one. Perhaps he would see her, covered in blood, and finally see how much she would sacrifice for the First Order. Perhaps he would finally see her as one of their own.

They assembled in the control room, gathered around a large holographic pad that stood in the middle. It displayed an array of planets, stars, and moons. Every so often texts of information would pop up, only to disappear again a second later. It seemed as if the system was going through the planets of the galaxy as if it was looking for something.

"Captain," he nodded as they stood next to him and his advisors and officers. Hux looked her straight in her eyes, and for a moment she saw him acknowledging her, but he quickly pulled his gaze away when loud footsteps came closer to where they were standing.

As Nara looked up her heart skipped a beat. _Kylo_. If anything, this day had done what it was supposed to do, forget him. It wasn't until now she remembered what had happened the night before, and when their eyes met through his visor she couldn't help but quickly look away.

She felt her skin reddening, and she regretted not having a mask to hide behind like he had.

It quickly came apparent that Hux had gathered them together to discuss possible new locations for the Resistance. Their shock departure was still fresh in their minds, and now they were gone their new objective was finding out where they were hiding.

Nara engaged in talks, and she was glad to notice how they were finally letting her speak, and even Hux started to take her serious as she began to speak of the criteria the Resistance would have for new locations.

All the time she could feel Kylo's gaze burn on her body. The blood stains couldn't have escaped him, and neither could the white armor she as wearing. Nara wondered if someone had told him about what she had done, and where she had been. Would he be proud of her actions?

They concluded with the discovery of five possible new locations for the Resistance. Nara made a mental note of the names to tell Leia. If they were indeed on one of these planets they needed to get out of there as soon as possible. The First Order was after them, and they were coming with everything they had.

She couldn't escape the confinements of the control room before Kylo caught up with her. His fingers found her wrist, and with a surprising amount of gentleness he pulled her aside.

Nara sighed and reluctantly looked up into his eyes. He didn't take off his mask, but she could already sense where this was going.

"What _happened_ ," he hissed, his gloved fingers not leaving her skin.

"Nothing," she said, hoping he would realize she wasn't going to give in so easily. It would take a little more to earn her trust back. She still loved him with all her heart, but for once she was listening to her head. He had violated the only space of privacy she still had, and he needed to pay for his actions.

He remained silent, as if he was waited for a further explanation.

"This isn't mine," Nara continued, referring to the blood that covered a good portion of the white plastoid. "Don't worry about it."

"Nara." His voice sounded warning, but it didn't affect her in the slightest.

"Look, if you want intel on what happened out there, go speak to Phasma."

She wanted to pull away her arm, but his grip tightened.

"No," he said, shaking his head. Through the distortion she could hear something in his voice, something which she could not place. "I felt something today."

"Felt what?"

Nara was getting impatient. She wanted to tell the Resistance about the possible locations the First Order had found, she had no time for this nonsense.

"I felt something in the _Force._ "

Nara laughed as she finally managed to take back her wrist. "I bet, Kylo. I bet you did."

She spun on her heel, her heart racing as she quickened her pace. One day she would come back to him, but today was not that day. Not yet.

* * *

 **A/N:** I want to thank you all so much for the support I have had throughout writing this story. I'm close to 100.000 views and have almost 500 reviews. That is absolutely insane and blows my mind. I want to thank you all so much for sticking with me and continuing reading my story. I would never have guessed it would receive so much positive feedback when I started, so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU !

I hope you liked this chapter as well, even though it is a little darker than usual. I have some twists and turns planned for this story, and I have no intention of stopping any time soon, so don't worry.

Once more: thank you so so so much. Your comments and messages make me want to write more and motivate me so much. I am really grateful for everything. Thank you. Take care 3


	28. Chapter XXVIII

The room was spinning as his voice repeated itself in her head over and over again. He had felt something in the Force, and the fact that he had been so surprised by it made her feel anxious. Nara's fingers fumbled together as she tried to keep her gaze firmly on the ceiling. She didn't want to let his words affect her, but she couldn't help but feel both scared and curious at the same time as to what he had felt.

It took some time for her mind to settle. She felt her eyelids growing heavy, and eventually she forgot about Kylo and everything that had happened and fell asleep. The blood stained plastoid uniform was on the ground, a reminder of the man she had killed that day. It was scary how quickly she had already forgotten all about it, focussing only on the future and what tomorrow was going to bring.

Nara knew she should have contacted the Resistance about the possible planets they were going to visit, but she told herself she would do so in the morning. They would not attack straight away, so they would have more than enough time to get out of there.

After dozing off a few times she opened her eyes at the sound of someone shuffling outside of her door. A soft pair of feet moved around just on the other side, the shadows dancing in the crack that was exposed at the bottom.

Nara held her breath as she waited for something to happen. Her heart skipped a beat when the shadow moved away and everything was quiet again. A tiny part of her had hoped is was Kylo, and perhaps it had been. Whoever it was, they were gone now, and Nara cursed them for interrupting her sleep. It was becoming more precious now that she was all alone, and she needed to be well rested for whatever was coming up. Now that she had proven herself to not only Phasma, but the First Order, she expected them to entrust her with even more, and she didn't know if she should feel bad for the fact that she was looking forward to it.

Kylo was in her head again. If he was not able to physically force his way inside, he would find another way. The voice echoed through her mind, and she was again at where she was earlier, trying to figure out what it all meant. In the end she concluded it was her killing the man which was what he had felt. What else could it possibly be?

Morning came quicker than expected. The light poured over the red planet, coloring it as crimson as the blood that covered her armor. Nara's eyes went down the plastoid, reminding herself to make sure it would be cleaned before she would wear it on another mission.

The shower felt familiar by now. Never before had she spent so much time covered by water, but with no other ways to contact Leia it was the only option she had. Nara let her body drench in the warmth before she managed to find the chip behind her ear.

It had become so much of a routine that her shoulders tensed in surprise when she heard voices in her ear. _Leia_. She had not expected a message anytime soon, not after they still did not trust her with any important information.

The general let out a sigh. Muffled voices filled the background, and Nara caught herself trying to hear Poe amongst them.

"Nara," Leia said, as if she didn't quite knew how to begin. It was unlike Leia to be lost for words. "Last night, something peculiar happened."

A lump formed in her throat. Did they realize she had killed for the First Order? Where they going to abandon her altogether? Goosebumps formed on her skin at the thought of it.

"I do not know what you are doing, and I know I have warned you countless time for growing too close to my son, but I fear it has already happened. I felt something awaken inside of you. It was just a fraction of a feeling, but it was enough to concern me."

Nara closed her eyes as she ruffled her brows. She moved her head backwards, letting the stream of water cover her entire face as she did her best to think. First Kylo felt something, and now Leia as well? If she knew one thing for sure it was that they weren't communicating with each other, so they both felt it on separate occasions. What was happening?

"It leaves me with no choice but to warn you once more. Kylo has brought out something in you that was perhaps always there in some way or another. Nara, be careful. Don't grow too close. Don't get attached. He is not Ben anymore, you know that as well as anyone else. Please, listen to me. Make sure you can come home one day."

 _Home_. But where was home? Nara felt her heart grow heavy. She didn't have a home anymore. They couldn't even bother to tell her where she could find that feeling again. Where were they situated? Where was Leia? Poe? All of her friends? The Resistance? They were the only family she had, and even though she sacrificed everything for them they had abandoned her.

The goosebumps disappeared and her blood started to boil. The Resistance took away everything she loved. How could she ever return now? After everything she had done, and everything she was going to do, how was that still an option?

She wanted to deactivate the transmitter. The static was still filling her ear, and it was fueling her with anger. Nara placed her hands on the wall in front of her and leaned forward. _No_ , she told herself. She needed to think straight. Even though they seemed to distrust her, she cared about the people who belonged to the Resistance. They needed to know about the list of planets the First Order had constructed.

Nara opened her mouth to speak, making sure the water would drown out her voice. Carefully she told them all the names she had remembered, going over them once more to make sure she hadn't forgotten any. Without warning she stopped the message, not even saying goodbye or responding to Leia's warning. Perhaps she didn't care as much as she wanted to.

* * *

Kylo remained missing for the remainder of the morning. Nara had forced herself out of the shower, initially not wanting to leave that sense of safety that the shower gave her. Like yesterday, she had breakfast with the rest of the stormtroopers in the mess hall. It consisted of one simple piece of fruit and a bowl of dried oats which was softened with some kind of liquid she couldn't place. It was filling, but not particularly satisfactory. Nevertheless she did not notice anyone complaining, and it seemed that this was the usual for soldiers of their rank.

She knew she wanted to see him, and Nara realized she was a little bit disappointed when he seemed to stay out of her sight. Leia's message had been so similar to his that it could hardly be a coincidence. Something had happened, and even though she was still mad at him for trying to enter her head, she couldn't help but wish to find out what they both had felt.

Luckily her mind was kept more than occupied. A stormtrooper from her squad had come to find her for a training session. Nara was more than happy to come along. Not only would it distract her she also decided that she needed more training if she was really going to go through with this leadership-thing. She hadn't forgotten the training she had received at the Resistance, but it proved to be very limited in comparison to the training the stormtroopers of the First Orders got.

Nara spent the rest of the day working as hard as she could on the training grounds. Together with her squad they went through several new strategies for entering buildings and Nara even tried her hand at some new blasters which seemed to be far more powerful than the ones she was used to.

By the end her body was covered in the red dust, leaving behind a soft maroon stain on her skin and her clothes. It would give her another reason to shower, and Nara shook her head slightly when she realized how sad it was that she was looking forward to it.

Her muscles had already begun to ache as she walked back to her personal cell. Over time she had noticed how the other holding facilities weren't used. It seemed that First Order had no one to imprison. Perhaps they were reserving all of their cells for when they would finally catch the Resistance.

She ran her fingers through her hair as she entered her room. It had tangled due to the wind and the sand, leaving behind large knots. When she finally lifted her gaze from the ground she found a dark and tall figure standing in the middle of her room.

Once he would have made her jump, but his black armor had become familiar to her. Nara's heart fluttered when her eyes met with Kylo's. He had his arms hanging besides his body, his fingers flexing every now and again as he kept his gaze firmly on hers.

Nara waited for him to speak. Although she was glad to see him, realizing she missed him more than she perhaps wanted, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her happy. Instead, she remained standing in the door opening, her body tensing as the silence grew louder.

"Were you out training today?" he finally spoke after she began to think he was never going to speak up.

She nodded slowly. "I did."

The tension kept building. Her response had been cold and short, and Nara was glad to see Kylo had noticed. He took a step forward and raised his arm in front of him, opening his hand.

"Nara, please, come in. We need to talk."

She swallowed and responded by closing the door behind her. Instead of accepting his hand she went on to sit on the bed, waiting patiently for him to sit besides her.

It quickly became apparent he was longing for contact as much as Nara was. Their knees touched instantly as he moved next to her, and neither of them bothered to shift their position. Eventually his hand found her thigh, and in an attempt to catch her attention his gloved fingers squeezed it softly.

"I shouldn't have tried to force my way into your mind," he finally said.

Nara's eyes went from his fingers gripped around her thigh to his eyes. For the first time since a long time she was able to read them. His normally vacant gaze was exchanged for a look of both sadness and confusion. It made her more anxious for what was about to come.

"I am sorry for that."

"Just don't ever do it again," Nara said, her voice hushed. "Being here, in this place, it's hard. My mind is the only thing that truly belongs to me. It's the only place where I can be safe, don't take that away from me. Don't take away the only thing I have left."

"I promise," Kylo said, and judging by the sincerity in his voice Nara knew she could trust him. He had never done anything to hurt her before, and that moment was just a moment of weakness. He was being influenced by Snoke, it wasn't entirely his own fault.

"There is more," he continued as he took away his hand and laced his fingers together in front of him. Kylo's leg started to bounce up and down, and that was when she realized he was nervous. Her skin was getting hot and her heart rate increased.

"The thing that I told you about yesterday, that feeling I got when you were away, it has been bothering me ever since and I cannot seem to place it."

The uneasiness and confusion in his voice struck her. It was almost as if he thought there was something wrong with him, and now more than ever did she want to tell him about the transmitter behind her ear. Nara wanted to tell him about the message she received from Leia. His mother had felt something similar, and by now it had become obvious it had not been a coincidence. Something indeed had happened, but she could never ever tell him about the chip. Everything she had built would be lost.

"You felt me killing that man," Nara said calmly as she tried to think rationally. "I've never done something like that before, it has to be that."

He shook his head. "No, I think that's what… what triggered it."

Nara ruffled her brows as she held her breath for a mere second. "Triggered what?"

"The _Force_ ," Kylo replied, his voice darker than before.

She let out a giggle, but when his expression did not change at the sound of her laugh Nara's face hardened again. He couldn't be serious, could he?"

"You are joking," she said, her heart fluttering in her chest.

"Think about it Nara," Kylo spoke. "It all makes sense. The dark side, it consumed you quicker than I expected. It is because you possess part of the force. It is inside of you. You killing the man released it and made me feel it."

He moved his gaze away from her eyes and looked ahead of him. Nara could see the puzzle pieces fitting together in his mind. He had it all figured out, and she couldn't quite come to grips with the truth.

"You belong to the dark side, you just never knew it before."

Nara looked down to the sheets as she tried to process what he was saying. Did she truly belong to the darkness? Was what Kylo was saying true?

"Does that mean I am - like you?" she asked, her head shaking in slight confusion.

"No, you do not have it like I have or I would've noticed much sooner. But there is definitely something in you. It is just like Han Solo. I recognize it now."

 _Han Solo_. It had been a while since she had heard his name spoken out loud, and it had been some time since she last thought about his lifeless body falling down in the pit of blackness. She quickly got the image out of her head and tried to think back to their childhood. Nara couldn't remember ever noticing anything peculiar about him, not like it was with Kylo. From the very start she knew there was something different. He could control things with his mind, made people do things they would never ordinarily do. Han was just Han. The smuggler. Not a Jedi like his son would once become.

"I don't understand," Nara finally said. "I am with the Force, but not really? How does that work?"

Kylo nodded and took her hands into his. The fabric of his gloves felt rough under her fingers yet his touch was gentle. As everything had clicked into place the confusion in his eyes had disappeared and made way for excitement. Never before had she seen him so happy, so ecstatic.

"You truly belong to the dark side now, Nara."

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, I have to be honest with you guys. The reason this chapter took so long is because I was quite taken back by the reviews I got. I didn't realize you wanted Nara to be pregnant _so much_. Because I was not planning on her being pregnant, at least at this moment, it witheld me from writing. I was afraid to disappoint, and not sure what to do about the situation. I could made her pregnant and have her miscarriage, but I felt that would be gratuitous and it wouldn't add anything to the story. In the end I decided to go with my original plan. The reason I don't want Nara to be pregnant right now is because it would limit her. She could not participate in the combat scenes anymore, and there would not be much for her to do. Also, I feel like the relationship between her and Kylo would end up looking too much like Anakin and Padme's (and let's be honest, she did not really contribute much the entire time she was pregnant). Hopefully you can all understand. I am not ruling at a pregnancy at all, just not at this moment in the story.

So yeah, like I said. I hope you guys will still enjoy this story nevertheless, I know I am. As for the people concerned about Nara being force-sensitive, she's not ;) It's called force attunement and Han had it as well. I stumbled across the term about a month ago and thought it would fit in my story nicely. I've been dropping letting hints about her being so during the last couple of chapters, perhaps reading back you'll notice them.

That's all I have for today! Please let me know your thoughts, once again, hopefully you can understand and I did not disappoint you too much. Take care, and I really do hope to see you again next chapter 3


	29. Chapter XXIX

Never before had Nara visited so many different planets in the galaxy. While the Resistance had taken her to habited and inhabited worlds alike, nothing could compare to the First Order. It seemed that they had missions every single day, sending troops from planet to planet to gather new recruits, information, or territory.

She was back in the familiarity of her own squadron. Dressed once again in white plastoid, Nara felt part of the group. Her soldiers followed her orders and seemed to respect her, which is more than she could ever want. Today's mission was one of reconnaissance, and while they were preparing for a lifeless planet, there was always a chance they would finally come face to face with the Resistance.

Leia had not contacted her again. Whatever she had felt it had scared her, and perhaps that had withheld her for sending out a reply to Nara's message. Kylo's words had made her frightened as well, not only because of the way he had felt it, but because it was true. She was part of the First Order, possessed by that same darkness that had possessed Kylo.

As she stood amongst her own squadron Nara felt no remorse, no guilt, and even the anxiety that once filled her body before a mission seemed to have disappeared. The only thing she could hold onto was the hope that her compassion would return to her once she would see them again. Her old friends, her old comrades. She could not kill one of her own, could she?

Kylo's eyes burning in her back had not escaped her. Nara had been in conversation with Captain Phasma, going over the details of the mission once more with the other squadron leaders. Today would be the first time she was going to share the battlefield with him, and while she knew she would perform her best, she could not help but worry for him. Kylo was not used to seeing her like this, and while the others were treating her like their equal she could only hope he would do so as well. She wasn't special and she didn't deserve to be treated as such.

"Everything clear?" Phasma said, and Nara snapped out of her trance. She nodded nevertheless, even though the final part of the instructions had escaped her.

Before turning to her own squad she lifted her head to look over her shoulder. Kylo had seen her move and shifted his body so his back faced her. He was accompanied by his Knights of Ren who looked as menacing as always. Their black attire and intricate and dangerous looking weapons made them stand out from the rest. It was clear they were a separate unit who were to be feared and respected, and the other soldiers treated them accordingly. Nobody spoke with them and they didn't speak with anyone else, so Nara decided to do the same. It was a good excuse not to speak to Kylo for the time being.

"Everyone get into position," Phasma continued, her voice booming through the transporter. "ETA is in five minutes."

Nara retreated back to her squadron, giving them some final instructions while hoping she hadn't missed too much of the captain's direction. How he managed to find a way into her head even when he wasn't trying still surprised her.

Her squadron was one of the last to leave the ship, and Nara could not help but feel Kylo had some part to play in that. The soldiers leaving the transporter first would face the most risk, and even though she felt like she could handle it, perhaps he didn't.

Phasma began to count down, and with a loud thump they more crashed than landed down on the surface of the planet. Nara steadied herself by placing her feet firmly on the metal ground. Her heart began to beat faster as the ramp of the ship was lowered, filling the entire transporter with light from outside. She wasn't scared, it was adrenaline that was rushing through her veins. How much she hated fighting when she was with the Resistance and how much she loved the thrill of it now.

It wasn't until she had personally stepped out on the planet of Averam that she noticed how much she was craving fresh air. They had landed on a generous plain covered in tall grass. From afar the planet seemed to be deserted, and judging by earlier reports the Averam natives had left the world many years ago. It had a history of rebel alliance, making it perfect for a rebel base according to the First Order.

Nara looked around, the sun partially blinding her. Even though she was wearing a helmet, the bright rays still managed to catch her off guard. Her fingers gripped her gun as she motioned for her squadron to follow her. The planet seemed peaceful, but she knew from experience the Resistance would conceal its base in the woods that were right up ahead. Never would they meet the First Order out in the field. Let the fight come to them, that had always been the instructions if they would ever come under attack.

A small, but reasonable army moved through the terrain, following each other in complete silence as every single soldier looked for signs of the Resistance. Kylo and his knights had taken the lead, followed by Phasma's squadron which in turn was followed by the rest of the stormtroopers. Nara knew she should be keeping her eyes on the tree line ahead, but something about the way Kylo moved captivated her. The fabric of his black attire seemed to float in the wind, and with his lightsaber hanging from his hip and not ignited in his hand, one could argue he even looked graceful.

She wanted nothing more than to forgive him for his actions. Part of her knew she had already done so, it was the other part that was making him suffer, for a change. Another night had she spent in her own confinements, but after today she would return. He had had enough punishment, and who was Nara kidding, she wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

Firstly she had to focus on completing this mission. Nara pushed her thoughts aside and tried to focus on what had to be done. She was here with the First Order, and even though the complete silence with which they moved through their surroundings gave her the perfect environment to think, there were more important things to do.

Everything was silent, the only sound coming from their heavy boots as they moved through the plains towards the trees. The forest looked dark and daunting, and the lack of smaller critters around was even more concerning. Either the planet had been lifeless for a long time, or everything and everyone had hidden upon their arrival. Nara had no idea what they would encounter once they moved in among the trees, and perhaps the unknown was more frightening than anything else.

It seemed that Kylo had sensed something. As all the soldiers followed him and his knights closely, he ignited the lightsaber after unhooking it from his belt. With a swift motion he lifted it in the air, holding it high next to him in preparation.

In response Nara lifted her blaster and put her finger next to the trigger. She had put it off safety the moment she landed, not wanting to take any unnecessary risks. The last thing she wanted was look like a fool in front of the First Order and possibly be the cause of casualties.

Leafs rustled up ahead, but nobody seemed to be intimidated by it. They advanced through the forest, and in the distance Nara saw the darkness fading away. Averam was a diverse planet, and with the different types of landscape all collected in such a small space it meant that there were lots of places for the Resistance to hide.

Nobody spoke a word. They were getting closer and closer to the end of the woods. Nara felt tiny drops of sweat running from the back of her neck along her spine. The plastoid was light in weight, but the material didn't let any air through, making her body a warm and sticky mess underneath.

Upon Kylo's command the group of soldiers spread out, creating a vertical line that moved strategically through the trees, not leaving an inch of ground uncovered. Nara could see him in the corner of her eyes, and the way he seemed to move more cautiously than he did before made her alert. Nara straightened her back as she turned her head to her squadron, lifting her fingers to her eyes and then ahead to motion they needed to pay attention to whatever would or would not be up ahead.

Even though Nara had suspected much, they had never seen them coming. As soon as they set their foot outside of the woods and onto another area similar to the one before, they were under attack. Plasma rods flew around in the air with high velocity, catching them by complete surprise.

She almost dropped her own weapon as she wanted to raise her arms in front of her head as defense, completely forgetting she was wearing a helmet. Her first instinct was to look for Kylo, but through the stormtroopers and the chaos even his black attire seemed to fade away.

Nara remembered her role as a leader, and even though she desperately wanted to know where Kylo was, she turned herself to them.

"Stay back!" she shouted, taking over what other leaders where shouting. First they had to assess the situation before they could return fire and bring down whatever that was shooting straight at them.

They stopped shooting. In a short amount of time the plain that was covered in grass was left to nothing but a smoldering pile of straw. Smoke and dust filled the air, temporarily blinding everyone. Judging by the state of shock everyone was in, no one seemed to be hurt. Just like they had moved through the forest, the soldiers were quiet, anxiously anticipating what would happen next.

Nara hadn't seen who had been attacking them, but she had a good idea. Phasma was moving behind the line of soldiers, yelling instructions in her mechanical voice. She was the only one breaking the silence, her tone carrying all the way through the trees.

"Weapons up!"

She followed her command and looked for her squadron to do the same. The First Order had a different tactic than the Resistance did. They would go out and meet them in combat. They would never wait for the fight to come to them, and sometimes Nara wondered if that was where the Resistance had their advantage. It was not always wise to assume the other party was the weaker one.

"ENGAGE!"

The stormtroopers began to run with their blasters up high, ready to shoot whenever was necessary. The dust was blinding, but it didn't bother her eyes due to the helmet she was wearing. Nara saw flashes of red in the corner of her eyes, but before she could take a closer look Kylo had already disappeared.

Halfway down the field the smoke cleared. Her heart almost lept out of her chest when she saw the starfighters. _X-Wings_. Even though Nara had already suspected that if they would meet anyone out here it would be the Resistance, it was still shocking. This was the first time since she had joined the First Order she had come face to face again to her own.

Apprehension filled her body as Nara halted in her tracks, looking up in trance. The X-Wings felt so familiar that it paralyzed her for a moment. Through the vizor of her helmet she tried to look into the cockpit, but she already knew who was fighting one of the fighters.

"Poe," she breathed, her voice muffled by the action surrounding her. It had completely escaped her that she had lost her own squadron, but the time being she didn't care. Never had she expected it to be so hard to see him again, especially considering what had happened. She belonged to the First Order now, and she knew she had to shoot him, but something was witholding her from it.

Nara closed her eyes, blocking the ship from her mind. She had to do it. It was her duty as a stormtrooper. She had come so far, she was not willing to undo all of that process with one silly moment. Things had changed now, Poe was with the Resistance and she was with the First Order. That was the way things were. _It's not personal,_ Nara reminded herself as her finger found the trigger.

She opened her eyes again. His X-Wing was flying around in swift motions, blasting every stormtrooper he could find within range. She tracked Poe closely, waiting for him to come into perfect view for her to make her shot. If she was going to shoot him she was going to make it count.

But before she could shoot he had already taken the shot. Before Nara could react the plasma rod hit her right in her thigh, sending her down to the ground. She landed on her knee, quickly dropping her gun so she could stabilize herself with her hands. Pain shot through her body, and it took some time before she realized what had happened.

Had it been Poe who had hit her? The thought of it broke her heart, but then again he wouldn't have recognized her, not with the white armor on. To him she was just another stormtrooper waiting to be taken down. If only he would have known who had been hiding under the mask.

The pain in her thigh fueled her with anger. Nara took in a sharp breath, trying her best to ignore the throbbing wound which was started to stain the plastoid. Her fingers found the blaster again, and before she could comprehend what she was doing she aimed the gun at Poe's X-Wing. He had a distinct flying style which made him recognizable among the others.

Nara waited for the exact moment to take her shot. When he finally came into range she pulled the trigger as many times as she could, rods flying into the air straight for the starfighter as if fireworks were going off around it.

She wanted to see his X-Wing go down, but she could not even see the result of her own attack as two stern hands gripped her by her shoulders, pulling her backwards on the ground.

Kylo's gloved fingers roughly found the piece of plastoid where the plasma rod had gone through. He fumbled hastily until the piece of armor came off, revealing the damage Poe had inflicted.

Nara tried to search for his eyes as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I do not need your help Kylo," she hissed, her hands reaching for his chest to push him away. Her blood was still boiling, and the last thing she wanted was to be treated differently than any other stormtrooper. More of them had been wounded, why did he not help them first?

"You're hurt," he replied, his voice as grim as the movement of his fingers were as he tried to rip apart the black fabric that covered her thigh beneath the white plastoid.

This was what she had been nervous for. Never before had they shared the battlefield, and their feelings had interrupted what had been a good mission. While they had been caught by surprise by the Resistance, this wasn't over, and their best knight could not be spending his time with her doing nothing.

"Call for a medic," Nara instructed him, her voice cold. "We can still win this. Go out and fight."

"I will take you back," Kylo replied, not listening to what she was saying.

The wound looked gruesome, but the rod had pierced her leg only on the surface, just missing the main arteries. It bled, but judging by the pain it looked worse than it really was.

"No, you won't." Her fingers found his lightsaber on the ground. Nara picked it up, feeling the cracked crystal buzz even when it wasn't ignited, and held it in front of her, waiting for Kylo to accept it.

Around them the fighting continued, One X-Wing had gone down, but amongst the chaos she couldn't see if it had been Poe's.

"You have to go. My squadron will take care of me."

Kylo hesitated. Finally he turned his gaze to her. Through their vizors their eyes met, and it wasn't until he would see the determination in her eyes that his fingers wrapped around the hilt of his lightsaber.

He nodded slowly. "Make sure you get this treated. Be careful, Nara."

"Always," she replied, her eyes not leaving his before they were interrupted by another ship going down.

* * *

It had been a trap. Nara's list of planet had given them time to prepare and time to engage. It had been the first time since Starkiller Base the two sides had met out on the field, and it was all thanks to Nara. The Resistance wasn't stationed on Averam, but it had been the perfect planet to plan an ambush.

Shortly after the second X-Wing went down the others had left, jumping to hyperspace before anyone else could take another shot. Nara did not know if Poe had made it out, and the fact that she didn't was probably for the best.

A medic had taken her to the edge of the forest to get her treated for the time being, telling her she would be properly healed back at headquarters. The pain had numbed her, and after some time she didn't even feel it anymore.

Two stormtroopers of her squadron had helped her get on the carrier, placing her on one of the bunk beds beneath the deck. She had entire room for herself, and Nara was counting down the minutes until Kylo would come for her, telling her how reckless she had been.

Rapid footsteps were approaching her. Nara propped herself up against the wall, stretching her hurt leg out in front of her while she pulled up her other one. She found herself almost being nervous to see him again. What was he going to say? Would he tell her he never wanted her out on the field ever again?

Kylo practically stormed in, his helmet removed in his hand while his lightsaber hung from his belt again. He moved forward, leaning down before sliding his hand behind her neck to press his lips onto hers with fervor.

Out of all the surprises today, this had been the biggest one. She had expected him to be angry with her, but it appeared he wasn't at all, and as the kiss intensified she couldn't contain herself. Nara cupped his cheek with one hand, needing the other to stabilize herself in order not to hurt her leg. It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he pulled back and sat down on the edge of her bed, never losing eye contact as his fingers interlaced with hers. "I know I shouldn't treat you differently than other stormtroopers, but seeing you like that, I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. You are the only person I love, Nara. Please come back to me. Don't return to that cell tonight."

Nara's heart wanted to leap with joy. Spending another night in her self-proclaimed holding chamber had been the final retribution. After his apology, and his sincere promise that he would never try to enter her head again, he had suffered enough. And his kiss made her realize how much she wanted him. And how _badly_.

"Mmm," Nara mumbled, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "I actually quite enjoy the solitude again. I didn't realize how much I missed it. Perhaps I'll stay."

Kylo narrowed his eyes as they seemed to sparkle. "You wouldn't."

"You're right," Nara replied, leaning forward again to press a light kiss on his lips. " _I wouldn't._ "

* * *

 **A/N:** I should've updated sooner, I know. After the big revelation that Nara wasn't pregnant I got less reviews than I normally get, and it kinda demotivated me. I am sorry to disappoint. I fully understand that a lot of you want her to be pregnant, but I couldn't have done this chapter if she was. In fact, my entire plot could not really get anywhere if she was pregnant at this moment. Besides, who can get pregnant under so much pressure and stress? I personally feel like it wouldn't be plausible, I hope you can understand.

Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. I never really fancy writing combat scenes, but I start to like writing them more and more. It takes a little while to get into, but writing all the action is quite thrilling. Hopefully you loved their little reunion at the end ;)

I also need to thank _juliesharpe_ for creating the best cover for this story - ever. It's so good and I could not be more grateful. The fact that there are people who love this story so much they are willing to dedicate their time to creating something for it is just mind blowing. THANK YOU SO MUCH! You have no idea what this means to me.

As always, please leave a review with your thoughts, I do really love reading them and they truly motivate me. I promise I won't wait as long with posting the next chapter. Please take care and until next time 3


	30. Chapter XXX

_Nara knew that being called into General Leia's office was bad. It was even worse considering she was not a part of the Resistance just yet. With the help of fellow fighters she had been training as an analyst which were in high demand ever since the First Order were gaining momentum. Soon she would be part of them and she could finally help the cause._

 _Her heart pounded as she waited for Leia to call her in, her mind going over all the possible things she could have done wrong. The encryption she had done a few days ago had been to the best of her abilities, even her mentor had commented her on the security of it. Did the First Order manage to get through her codes nevertheless? Had she jeopardized some kind of mission?_

 _"Come in," Leia's voice spoke from the other side of the door._

 _Nara swallowed as her fingers pushed it open. The palms of her hands were sweaty as she anxiously sat down on the deep chairs that stood before Leia's desk. The general was rarely to be found behind it, preferring to spend her time out on the floor with the other fighters. The fact that she had sat down specifically for Nara meant something, and she could only hope it was good._

 _Leia's eyes pierced through hers, and when she focused on them she realized she was seeing something different than expected. The general looked sad, distraught even. Never before had she seen her that way, and it only made Nara even more nervous than she already was._

 _"Did I do something wrong?" she began, her fingers finding the hem of her grey shirt._

 _"No," Leia replied, shaking her head slightly. Before continuing she let out a sigh. "Something has happened. Something you need to know."_

 _Nara narrowed her eyes as she watched Leia reach up from her chair and move from behind the desk to sit on the empty chair next to Nara. She didn't know much about the Resistance and its mission, what was she going to tell her that was this daunting?_

 _"It's about Ben," Leia said, her heart heavy._

 _She breathed in sharply. Ben. It had been some time since she had last spoken to him, and even longer since she had last seen him. There was not a moment during the day she didn't think of him, and the lack of contact as of late had made her feel slightly worried, and now it appeared something indeed had happened._

 _"He did something unforgivable, Nara. I am not sure how to tell you this, so I am just going to tell you the truth."_

 _For just a moment she thought Leia was going to tell her Ben had died, but then she realized what she had said. He had done something. He was still alive. Nothing at the moment made sense, and she was lying if she said she wasn't scared for what Leia was about to tell her._

 _"He killed all of his fellow padawans. Luke's academy, all of them are dead. The younglings, the children, the older ones. No one is left, Nara. Ben slaughtered them in cold blood."_

 _Her breath got trapped in her throat as the time seemed to stop, allowing her for a moment of reflection. Leia's words went through her head, and she couldn't quite make out if she was dreaming or if this was all really happening._

 _"Ben… killed everyone?" she asked for confirmation as her fingers pinched her skin, and when it hurt she knew this was all real, and Nara didn't understand any of it._

 _Leia nodded, her expression surprisingly calm considering the situation. This was her son she was speaking of, and yet she seemed hardly to be phased by it. Perhaps that was one of her many qualities, being able to keep a straight head while chaos ensued around her._

 _"Everyone is dead, Nara. Luke is gone and nobody knows where he went. Some of our fighters found the rest yesterday."_

 _She shook her head in disbelief, still clinging onto the hope this might all be a sick joke._

 _"But why?"_

 _"The Ben that we know has been gone for a long time, Nara. He goes by the name of Kylo Ren now. Snoke has him under his spell, and it appears it had been that way for a while. None of us had seemed to notice."_

 _Her mind started to race as some of the puzzle pieces seemed to suddenly fit together. There had been been moments where he had behaved differently, strangely even. He had been more distant as of late, and Nara could kick herself for not recognizing something was off when he didn't want to see his father when he had snuck her in._

 _Han. This explained why he had left all of a sudden yesterday evening. She had seen his ship rise up in the sky and jump into hyperspace from the window in her apartment. Nara had figured he was going on some sort of secret mission as fighters were coming and going all the time, but once again her nativity had let her down._

 _"By killing all of the Jedi's in training they were almost able to exterminate the entire Jedi Order. If Luke hadn't been able to escape there would be no Jedi left in the galaxy. I guess that is the only luck we had. Without him the dark side would thrive and there would be no hope for us anymore."_

 _Everything was coming back to her. His sudden interest in the Empire. His crudely assembled lightsaber that looked nothing like the lightsabers she knew. The way he literally seemed darker than he had been before. All this time he had been under the influence by Snoke. How could she not have seen it before?_

 _"I should've seen it," Nara said slowly. "It all makes sense now, how could I not have noticed it?"_

 _"Nobody knew, Nara," Leia said, an apologetic smile on her lips as she leaned forward to take Nara's hands into her own. "It completely went under my radar, and I'm his mother, of all people. If anyone should've known it was me."_

 _"I just can't believe it," she whispered, more to herself than to Leia, but nevertheless the general had heard her speak._

 _"I can't either, but we have to. Ben is gone, Nara. He's truly gone."_

 _It was still a strange concept to grasp. The last time she had spoken to him had truly been the last time. She didn't even properly say goodbye, but how could she have known what he had been planning. Nara thought she knew everything about Ben, but it turned out she knew nothing at all._

 _"I know it will take some time to get used to," Leia continued. "But Nara you have to forget him. After this, I doubt he can ever return. We can only hope the light inside of him is strong enough to overthrow the darkness."_

 _She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream, and curse Ben for doing this to her. He betrayed not only her, but also his mother, his father, the Resistance, Luke, everything that he knew. She wanted to break something, and then laugh uncontrollably, and cry again._

 _Instead she remained seated, her leg bouncing up and down as her fingers continued to fumble with her shirt. It seemed as if Leia's calmness had rubbed off on her. If she could remain sane under the pressure of everything that was happening, maybe so could Nara._

 _"What are we going to do now?" she asked finally._

 _Leia let out a sigh. "I do not know. The council will have to come together. All I know is we have to treat him as part of the First Order now. Any personal interests have to be forgotten. He is Kylo Ren now, not Ben Solo."_

 _Nara lowered her voice, speaking both with caution and fear. "Will we have to kill him if it comes to it?"_

 _She couldn't imagine him dead. While Ben might be gone, she knew there was still something inside of him that tied him to his past. He might have acted strangely, but never once did he disregard her as someone he didn't know. Ben knew who she was, and Kylo would know too._

 _"We will," Leia confirmed. "But let us hope it will not ever come to that."_

 _Nara nodded, going over everything once more in her head. She knew she shouldn't blame herself for what had happened, but a tiny part of her wished she had connected the dots sooner. Everything had pointed to something like this, how could she have missed it all?_

 _"Hey," Leia said, taking her hands into hers once more to grab her attention. "I'm not saying this will be easy, I know how important he was to you. He was important to all of us. Together we will get through this. Let's remember him as the Ben we all knew and loved, and not the monster he has become."_

* * *

 **A/N:** A short surprise! I haven't done a flashback in a long, long time, and a kind guest suggested this and I thought: why not?! I especially wanted to upload something again so soon after all the lovely comments I received. Thank you all so much 3 Your support means a lot. Please take care, and I'll see you next time when I'll upload a "real" chapter again :D 3


	31. Chapter XXXI

The medical wing had been one of the few places which she hadn't explored properly yet, figuring it would be best not to disturb the doctors and patients. Nara's eyes widened as she went in, surprised by everything she was seeing. It didn't look like the sickbays they had back on D'Qar, it was quite the opposite.

Instead of second grade (probably stolen) medical equipment, the First Order made sure their medical wing had been supplied with the best there was to offer. There were no doctors making their rounds among the patients. In fact, there were no doctors at all. Nara's gaze rested on a droid operating a large circular booth which looked like a scanner. All the machines were operated by droids, and when she realized that stormtroopers with minor injuries came out of the machine without a scratch she started to feel a little dizzy.

Never before had it become so apparent how far ahead the First Order was technically. They had better weapons, better equipment, better spacecrafts, better enhanced nutrition, and now it appeared they also had better medical machinery. On every aspect they held an advantage over the Resistance that it slowly began to dawn on Nara that they were never going to win.

Kylo had his hand firmly gripped on her waist, supporting her to a waiting room before she would be treated. As soon as she was seated down securely he went on to find a droid, immediately ordering it to come and help them. Even they recognized Kylo's command.

Nara's muscles tensed as she waited for someone to come to tend to her. It was chaos around them. The Resistance had surprised them and hit them hard, resulting in quite a few casualties and wounded soldiers. She counted herself lucky she was able to escape with something as minor as this, and the wound would only remind her of her duty. She was a stormtrooper now, a profession which came with the notable risk of getting injured.

Kylo turned himself to her again, his eyes softening as it lingered on hers.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a question he had asked quite a few times on their way back.

"I told you," Nara said, repeating her words although she couldn't deny his concern warmed her heart. "I'm fine. It's nothing, honestly."

She could feel his eyes burning on the wound on her leg, but she had concluded that it looked worse than it actually was. It could've ended up badly. An inch to the right and Poe would have hit an artery and this would have been an entirely different story.

He grew impatient when a droid failed to tend to her, and just as he was about to turn outside one came rolling in, its mechanical voice speaking. It raised its metal arm, revealing what looked like a scanner shaped like a blaster.

"Please stand."

Nara did what the droid said and carefully let herself slide off the bed she had been sitting on. A slow ripple of pain surged through her leg, but she didn't let it show. Instead she waited patiently for the droid to complete its scan of her body, finishing by pinpointing the wound.

"Plasma blaster wound. Intensity level 3," it identified.

"We can see that," Kylo said, his voice deepening. He had his mask removed but even without it he managed to sound menacingly. Combined with the scar that ran down over his face he looked quite terrifying.

His patience was running short. Nara cocked her eyebrow slightly to warn him. She knew the droids wouldn't easily be affected by Kylo's tone, but still she didn't want to see them end up in the garbage chute.

"Follow me," the droid ordered. It turned on its wheels and began to roll in the opposite direction. Kylo had to step aside or it would have run him over, and Nara could not help but giggle a little.

She hobbled behind the droid into another room where she found one of the scanners she had seen before. Up close it looked even more advanced, and even a little daunting. The metal exterior was covered in tiny buttons only a droid would now how to manage, and on the opposite end a blue light shined brightly.

The droid pressed on of the many buttons and the machine opened up, revealing what looked like a similar metal bed on which she was supposed to lie down.

Nara swallowed as she narrowed her eyes, not entirely trusting the piece of equipment that had started to beep frantically. She looked over her shoulder, but when Kylo nodded it was alright she climbed on, her skin feeling clammy as her heartbeat started to increase. Whatever this machine did, it made her forget about the pain in her leg, and as soon as it started to close she felt her breath catch in her throat.

 _Stay calm,_ she told herself, finding the scanner to be incredibly claustrophobic. Her mind settled a little when the beeping stopped. Everything was deadly silence, and for a moment she began to wonder if this was truly a piece of equipment that would help her, or would kill her. Suddenly she began to distrust everything.

Then the machine started to make sounds again. The blue light changed to green and it began to grow indescribably hot inside. Whatever this was, Nara concluded that she would choose any old-fashioned medic over this. Getting shot was less horrifying than this machine was.

Nara squinted her eyes together as she felt a sting in her leg, right where Poe had hit her. It made her entire body tingle and slowly the pain started to spread out. She wanted to look at Kylo, but the machine had her trapped inside. What the hell where they doing to her?

But the pain slowly disappeared, making her body all warm and fuzzy, and feeling _good_. She didn't dare to open her eyes at first, but when the tingles were completely gone she did so, expecting the green light to greet her, but it had already changed back to blue.

She wanted to look down her leg, but she couldn't reach up. No longer did she feel like there was a hole in her leg, instead, she felt nothing.

The scanner seemed to release some pressure in the form of steam before it opened up again, revealing Nara to the outside world. Even though the light inside had been bright, she raised her hand in front of her eyes as the room seemed to blind her for a moment.

Once she regained her vision her eyes fell on Kylo who was leaning against the structured wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. While Nara had never seen technology like this before, he seemed to be accustomed to it. To him it was nothing special, and to her it seemed like something people made up in stories.

"Procedure completed," the droid said dryly. "Intensity level is now, one."

Nara pushed herself upwards on her arms and looked down to her leg. While the blood stains were still left on the fabric of her black pants, there was hardly anything left that resembled a wound. The hole Poe had left behind had been reduced to a scratch, and Nara couldn't help but be in complete awe of what just happened. They had healed her within an instant. How was that possible?

"It's gone," she said breathlessly.

Kylo took a step forward, looking down to her leg while he nodded slowly. "Amazing, isn't it? It cannot get rid of everything, but it is able to reduce general type of wounds down to something like this. Healing an army is a lot quicker with this."

She let herself slide off the bed and when she didn't feel pain shooting through her leg as she put some weight on it she came to the conclusion it was all truly real. This explained how the First Order always had forces ready, while the Resistance had to deal with a medical wing full of wounded soldiers all the time. This seemingly simple yet advanced piece of technology gave the First Order a gain over the Resistance, and she was debating whether or not she was going to tell Leia about it. Perhaps they could steal something like this from somewhere.

"Come on," Kylo spoke, his voice echoing through the empty room. "Let's get back."

* * *

Nara had been too focused on her leg to see the sparkle of mischief in his eyes. She found out anyway as soon as they reached their living quarters back on the other side of the structure. The walk back had been a strange sensation without the constant burning feeling in her leg. When the door leading to their apartment came into view, a feeling of content took a hold of her. It was as if she was returning home, and then it dawned on her that this was her home now, and the First Order was her family.

Kylo closed the door behind them and before Nara could turn around to face him his fingers had found her waist and they were pulling her closer. His lips attacked hers, his taste and smell completely overwhelming her for just a moment. She had forgotten how much she had missed this, and perhaps how much she had needed it.

Her skin grew hot as her own hands began to tug at the hem of his black uniform. She needed him, and she needed him _now_. Putting this all on took a lot of time, and taking it off was just as difficult. Kylo quickly caught on to the hint and released his grip on her waist as he took a step backwards to undo the cloth that covered his skin.

Nara's heart lept with joy when she spotted the little smirk that played on his lips, and as fast as she could she began to take off her own clothing as well. The coldness of the room felt refreshing on her skin and after everything that happened she was more than happy to be able to take it all off.

She couldn't contain herself anymore. Standing entirely naked before him she began to help him undress, her eyes sliding up and down his toned body, her gaze lingering on the scar that covered his side for just a second. It still looked very impressive, and if Chewie had hit him on the other side he would have been dead. Perhaps the wookiee couldn't kill him. He had seen Kylo grow up after all.

"You should invest in something more easy to take off," Nara snickered as her fingers worked fast.

She heard a dark chuckle escape from his throat. "Next time I'll be more prepared."

Her fingers reached up, the tips tracing the scar on his face. It looked so familiar now, and it was hard to imagine him without it. For a moment her mind wandered back to Rey and she wondered what she was doing at this moment. The scavenger had defeated Kylo Ren. Whatever she was up to it would be something to dread.

She was snapped out of her trance when Kylo was finally undressed and he grabbed her by her waist as he began to pull her to the bed. He let himself fall backwards, Nara landing on top of him. His body was so much warmer than hers was, and while his hands explored her body she let out a sharp breath.

Everything seemed to be perfect. She was back in his arms again, and he had promised never to take advantage of his abilities with her ever again. They had fought the Resistance together which had been so exhilarating that Nara was already looking forward to the next time they would share the battlefield. Seeing Kylo in action did something to her, and she couldn't wait to see him in his element again.

Nara began to press light kisses on his collar bone. His body didn't move an inch underneath her touch, but she had been with him long enough to know exactly what he liked. Kylo began to dig his nails into her skin, letting out a soft sigh of pleasure as Nara continued downwards.

Finally they were together again, and this time she wasn't going to let him go.

* * *

She was in the safe confinements of the shower again. Nara managed to get Kylo to stay behind in their bed while she slipped in the bathroom. During all of the commotion she had forgotten about the chip behind her ear. Her heart had begun to pound when she realized it was still there, and she couldn't help but worry about whether it would show up on the scan the droid had taken earlier. Yet she hadn't heard anything back No one had come to see her for any specific reason, so she figured she had slipped through the radar for this time.

When the water was loud enough to drown out her own voice if necessary, Nara pressed the transmitter, her ear filling with the now accustomed sound of static. She already expected Leia to have left a message after meeting each other out in the field, especially considering the general didn't know Nara had been present herself. To the Resistance she was still one of them trying to stay alive deep behind enemy lines. How things had changed.

Quickly enough Leia began to speak.

"Thank you for the list of planets, Nara. Because of you we were able to meet the First Order again. I'm very delighted to say we've managed to make an impact. Great work. We couldn't have done it without you."

She paused before continuing.

"I hope you can bring us more information like this. The Resistance will forever be in your debt. Stay safe, Nara."

Nara pressed the transmitter and the sound stopped buzzing in her ear. Instead of being relieved she felt her blood boiling as she let out an annoyed sigh. For the first time since she had been here she was aware of an emotion she had never felt before. She felt guilty. Guilty because she rat out the First Order to the Resistance. It was her fault they were caught by surprise, causing many casualties. Besides that, it had also given the Resistance a chance to see the scale of the First Order. They would know with what force they would visit planets on recon missions. They would know how they were equipped. What weapons they carried. The type of armor they were wearing. Since the destruction of Starkiller Base the First Order had been busy expanding and modernizing their army even more, and Nara had given away all their hard work.

Her nostrils flared as she closed the tap. She made a promise to herself in that moment that she was never going to give anything away again. In the meantime the only thing she could do was hope the First Order would not suspect her of giving them all the inside information about this mission. Perhaps they would brush off the incident as a coincidence. After everything she had done to prove herself they couldn't still be suspecting her, could they?

Nara concluded that the chip behind her ear was making matters a lot harder. It could tempt her into giving them something nevertheless. Leia could lure her back to the wrong side of the Force.

Nara's mind began to race. She needed to get rid of it. It was the only thing tying her to her old life, and it needed to be gone. Never could she belong to the First Order unless she truly separated herself from the Resistance.

* * *

 **A/N:** (A little late, but oh well) Happy Easter guys! :D I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and hopefully a new update made it even better :) I don't really have much to say this time so I'll just keep this short. As always, please leave behind a review with your thoughts, I love reading them and they keep me motivated. I can't believe you've been following me for more than 30 chapters now, so thank you for sticking with me. I'll see you again soon and take care :D


	32. Chapter XXXII

Tension grew after the First Order defeat. The troops were training even harder than before, making sure that when it would come to another encounter, the Resistance would stand no chance and be destroyed. While they had held their own against the surprise attack, the casualties had been too high for Hux's liking. Nara argued it hadn't been a complete disaster, but the First Order worked in black and white. Win or defeat. There was nothing in between.

Nara was grateful to be back in her old living quarters. She had grown accustomed to living as the permanent-prisoner, but nothing compared to living in freedom. No one bothered them back in their own room, and it was the only space on the entire HQ where they could be alone, without anyone watching their every move.

Kylo was off training with Snoke. Nara knew little about what he was specifically doing, and she knew better than to ask. Whatever it was, it would be of great importance, not only to himself, the First Order, but also to Snoke. Kylo wanted to prove himself so much, especially now Rey was in the picture. So hard had he worked to eradicate the Jedi Order, and there she was. Messing it all up.

The chip behind her ear had never burned so much before. She felt it constantly humming, even when it was switched off. The transmitter had become a burden, and Nara spent the days constantly thinking about how she could get rid of it, going over all the possible options.

"When will you be back," Nara spoke, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as her chest hugged his back. Her knees disappeared in the soft bedding, and she had to lean against him so she wouldn't fall over.

Kylo looked slightly over his shoulder before placing his hand on her wrist, squeezing it gently.

"Soon," he replied hesitantly. "It depends on what we find."

Hux had ordered new recon missions to the other planets left on the list they had put together. In fear of another surprise attack by the Resistance, they had decided to send off small squadrons to avoid being spotted. Nara had volunteered for one of the missions as well, but she was still waiting for permission to go.

Nara figured the Resistance wouldn't attack twice - at least not this way. The element of surprise worked once, but it wouldn't work a second time. The First Order was prepared. They were operating in constant stealth mode, expanding the armory and making sure the stormtroopers were well rested and well trained.

"Try to hurry," she continued, her voice hushed as she leaned forward to gently nibble on his earlobe.

"Tell the Resistance to surrender," Kylo replied. He looked over his shoulder, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "Imagine all the time we could spend together."

While his comment was supposed to sound endearing, Nara couldn't help but feel uneasy. She ruffled her brows as she narrowed her eyes when Kylo turned back his head, looking down to his boots. What had he meant by "telling the Resistance?". Had he heard her in the shower? Did he see her rubbing the spot behind her ear? Did he know _anything_ about her ties to the Resistance?

Her skin was growing hot. Nara felt her cheeks reddening, and she counted herself lucky Kylo couldn't see her face. This was the final straw. The chip had to go. Whether he knew or not, she had to get rid of it. Sooner or later the First Order would find out, and when they did that would be her final day. They would execute her instantly. It was treason, and that couldn't be tolerated.

"That would be convenient," she answered quickly before releasing a nervous chuckle which she had to cover up even faster by continuing to speak. "Let's hope they don't make the mistake of surprising us again. This time we'll be prepared."

Kylo nodded. He moved to the very edge of the bed and turned his torso to her, their eyes meeting. Nara averted her gaze, hoping that her cheeks had gone back to a normal color.

"I have to go."

He leaned forward to press his lips on hers. Whenever he would go away for some time Nara noticed he would kiss her longer than he normally would. As if he was scared something could happen to him and every time he kissed her it could be the last time. Nara didn't want to think about it. So far he had returned to her, and she knew he was going to come back this time as well. Hopefully with more information about the Resistance's whereabouts.

"I love you," he finally spoke after he leaned back, his eyes twinkling in the light of the room.

"I love you too," Nara replied, her heart filling with warmth.

* * *

This was her chance. With Kylo and Phasma both gone on the mission, the First Order HQ was practically empty from any watchful eyes. Only Hux was still around, but Nara had seen him wander around in the control room. He was too occupied with ensuring the realization of the mission for him to worry about her. This would be the only moment she had. This was the only opportunity she had to get rid of the transmitter.

Nara didn't have a plan. Not really. The only thing she knew was that she had to make herself look as normal as possible, and she was very glad to have her stormtrooper armor laying around. Dressed in the white plastoid no one would bother, nor recognize her. She could move around the base practically unnoticed. Phasma was one of the few who knew everyone's name. She was even able to tell all of her soldiers apart, even though they were all dressed alike. Luckily, no one shared that gift. At least this part of her plan was foolproof.

The next task was finding a sharp object. The meals that were delivered to their livings quarters came with cutlery, but they were taken away as soon as they were finished eating. Besides, the knives were sharp enough to cut through basic food, but too blunt to cut through skin. If she was to get rid of the chip she needed something that could get rid of it relatively easily. The wound it would leave behind had to look like some kind of accident. No one could suspect her, not now.

Her best bet was either the armory, where she wanted to pick up a blaster anyway, just in case, or perhaps, the kitchens. They had to have something sharper there than what she was given every morning and evening.

Before she placed the helmet over her head, Nara's fingers traced the outline of the transmitter. It was barely there, only the slight edges tangible under her tips. It had been there for such a long time now that getting rid of it was a daunting thought. While there was little she wanted more, this was the final step to rid her from the Resistance. Her old life would be done and forgotten after today.

The mess hall was empty at this time of day, but Nara knew exactly where the doors were that led to the kitchens. In her mind she made up a story that she was going to tell if someone were to ask questions, but she hoped that just like the rest of the hall, nobody would be there.

Nara moved through the rows of tables and benches with her blaster hanging loosely in her hand by her side, finding her way to the back of the area where she had spotted the doors leading to the kitchens. She looked over her shoulder to see whether she was truly alone before she pushed the button that made the doors slide open. The sound was deafening in the empty mess hall, and she wasn't exactly sure why she was so nervous. Knives weren't contraband, she knew that, yet if she was caught, questions would be asked. Why would she need one? What reason would a stormtrooper have to carry a sharp knife around the headquarters when she had a blaster?

The kitchens were empty as well. Nara let out a sigh of relief as she immediately proceeded to rummaging through drawers and cupboards. She found every possible utensil except something that she could actually use.

"Do they use lightsabers to prepare the food?" she mumbled to herself as she looked around for any places she hadn't checked yet.

She stopped it her tracks when she thought she heard someone approaching, but when no one or nothing seemed to appear, she continued. If this wouldn't work she had to return to the armory, but she would have to come up with a good reason. Why would they lend her something else after just giving her a blaster? She shook her head, laughing at her own stupidity. The kitchen was her last hope, otherwise she was stuck with the chip for just a little bit longer.

Nara placed her hands on her hips. She wanted to do this now. Her mind was set to it, and she doubted there would be a similar opportunity like this in the near future.

Her eyes fell on a metal looking cabinet at the far end of the room. She placed her blaster on the counter top as she moved over, her hands quickly finding the handles that would open up the container. This was her final hope. She had looked everywhere else, if this didn't contain anything she could use, it was over. Then she was stuck with this transmitter.

She couldn't deny that her heart began to beat a little faster when she pulled it open. It was as if everything was dependent on her finding something sharp enough to cut away her old life with.

She released a sharp breath of relief when her eyes fell on the metal glistening in the light. Whether it truly was made out of metal, Nara didn't know, but whatever material it was, it looked sharp. It looked perfect.

The knifes were neatly displayed and if she would take one it would surely be missed, but Nara told herself to worry about that later. First, she had to get rid of that thing behind her ear. She took one of the knives and slid it under the black sleeve of her uniform, careful so she wouldn't cut her arm in the process. Her blaster was still waiting for her on the counter tops, and with both weapons she left the kitchens behind her, retracing her steps back to their living quarters.

As soon as Nara was inside she continued to slip the knife from her sleeve. It felt heavy in her hands, literally, and figuratively. With caution she ran her finger along the edge of the blade, feeling its bite. Did she really want to do this? For a moment she hesitated. If she proceeded it would be the end. No more Resistance.

Nara nodded once. She had to. This was the only thing left for her to complete. Before she could change her mind, she took off her helmet, placing it on the table. The bathroom that she once considered the only place on this entire planet where she could be safe would no longer serve its purpose after today.

She looked at herself in the mirror, taking in the view. The dark circles under her eyes hadn't been there before, and the flush across her cheeks gave away the stress she was coping with. Besides cutting away the Resistance she was going to cut in her own skin, and the pain that was about to come scared her.

"You have to do it," Nara whispered as she placed both of her hands at the opposite side of the sink, leaning forward to look in the mirror once again. She tilted her head to the side, revealing the chip behind her ear. It was right there. So easy to cut away. It would only take a little pressure.

She took the knife in her hand and lifted her arm. The tip of the blade almost touched the exact spot, just resting above it.

 _On three,_ she told herself before beginning to count out loud. "One."

The tip now touched her skin. It was cold and even the slightest amount of pressure already stung. Nara closed her eyes in response.

"Two."

Just a little push and it would be out. She took in a deep breath in anticipation, her heart pounding uncontrollably as she still wasn't quite sure whether she wanted to do this or not.

There wasn't any time to think about it. As soon as she said "three" the blade went through her skin. Nara flinched in pain, but continued anyway, forcing her eyes open to look in the mirror what she was doing.

Blood started to trickle down her neck. She tried her best to keep the wound to a minimum, but the transplant proved to be harder to cut out than she had thought. It took a little more time, but after some new found strength she continued, and finally, it came out.

She released the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding the entire time. The chip was tiny as it sat in her hand, flat and thin. It was hard to believe that something so microscopic like this could be of so much value. This transmitter was the only way she could communicate with the Resistance, and it was gone now. The figurative burning she had felt behind her ear had been replaced with pain and blood. She was finally free.

* * *

Nara had to wing this part of her plan. The wound would be too obvious to hide, especially since it would take some time before it would heal. She had no idea when Kylo would return, but like she had hidden the chip, she could not hide this.

She had flushed the transmitter down the toilet, sending it to no one knows where. Next she had returned to the kitchens, which were still empty like before. She had cleaned the knife thoroughly, before placing it right back where she had found it. The evidence was now gone, and the only thing left to do was finding a way to fix the wound.

With her helmet back on her head to conceal the blood, Nara made her way over to the medical wing. This was the only shot she had. The machine could fix her and make it appear like nothing had happened to her, but how was she going to make sure no one would ever find out how she had gotten this in the first place?

The chaos in the medical wing had died down over the past couple of days. The majority of the wounded soldiers had been healed and had been training again on the red dust plains. Thanks to the amazing technology the First Order possessed, their army was up and running again, and thanks to that same technology she could finally become one of them.

Nara managed to find an unoccupied droid. It looked similar to the one helping her before, and if she could just get it alone to one of the revitalization pods, she would be out of here within a minute.

Her fingers flexed around the base of her blaster as she began to explain her situation. She only told the droid about the type of wound, specifically omitting anything about how she might have gotten it. In response, it made a beeping sound, said something which sounded so bionic and mechanical she couldn't quite make out what it was, and began to roll to one of the individual rooms, just like she had requested.

The door slid shut when Nara entered. She took off her helmet, now familiar with the procedure that was about to come. The droid rolled towards her and lifted the scanner. After it gave a beeping sound, indicating it was done, it gave her a diagnosis.

"Intensity level: two."

It turned around and began to push the buttons on the pod before turning around gain to face Nara.

"To ensure better revalidation, please state the cause of your sustained injuries."

She swallowed, her mind racing as fast as her heart as she tried to come up with something to tell the droid.

"Happened during a combat training."

"Cuts of this type are not typically a result of any combat-related training sessions."

She couldn't believe her ears. The droid was defying her?

"Well," Nara replied, her tone stern, "it happened nevertheless. Just do your job and heal this."

"I am sorry, ma'am, but to ensure better revalidation, please state the cause of your sustained injuries."

She sighed, raised her blaster and lifted it so it aligned with the droids square head. One shot, and it was down and out. If it had the ability to object her, it would most definitely have the ability to realize what was going on and that it would be wise to exactly follow Nara's orders.

"Heal me. Now."

The droid seemed to hesitate.

"If you fail to do so, Kylo Ren will hear about this. It will _not_ end well."

It shifted back and forth between the pod and Nara, debating whether it should follow her order and go against protocol, or do the right thing and not heal her, and for a moment she thought it was going to do the latter, but after what felt like an eternity, it finally spoke up.

"Please lay down."

* * *

She rubbed the spot where the chip had been. It had been there this morning, and it was gone now. The act should have felt liberating. It should have set her free from the Resistance, just as she wanted, but deep down inside it didn't feel as good as she had hoped it would feel. While her loyalty was to the First Order, the fact that she could never _ever_ contact anyone from the Resistance again was intimidating. Never again would she hear Leia's voice. Not unless they would meet on the battlefield, and that would be a meeting she would rather want to avoid.

Undoubtedly the Resistance would find out soon enough. Nara had no idea what they were going to make of the absent connection. Perhaps they would consider her lost. Dead. Sacrificed for the cause. But maybe they would also believe she would still be alive. The First Order could have found out about it, and ordered it to be removed. Either way, she would never be able to contact them again. It was over.

Nothing was visible. Where the wound on her thigh had left behind the faintest hint of a scar, the skin behind her ear was smooth. It was as if the transmitter had never even been there in the first place. No one would know about it. No one had found out, and the droid wouldn't tell anyone about the suspicious circumstances under which she had made them heal her. She had taken care of that.

Kylo returned after a short while with the message the planet they had visited contained no sign of the Resistance. Nara was relieved. They may not have found them yet, but at least it wasn't another surprise attack that led to one of the few failed missions the First Order had had.

She first saw him again in the control room, surrounded by the others. After the turmoil of the past few days, there was nothing more she wanted than to just be in his arms. Safe and well. Nara wanted just a moment where she didn't have to think about the war that was slowly building up between the two sides. The Light, and the Dark.

Even though he was wearing his mask, Nara knew he was smirking under there. Their eyes had constantly met, and even though they were on opposite end of the room, the tension between them was undeniable. He had been away for just a short time, but it had been way too long.

Her skin was glowing as she thought about his fingers tracing her skin. His mouth on her lips. His body pressed against hers. When someone asked her something she snapped out of her trance, and quickly averted her gaze before responding. Just a short time and they would be done with the meeting, but it felt like the seconds were dragging into minutes and the minutes into hours. When Hux was finally done speaking, Nara hurried to the other side of the room.

They had never been one to hide their affection for each other when they were not in the confinements of their living quarters. Yet as they walked down the hallway it was as if some force was prohibiting them from touching. As if they were waiting to be completely alone before they would let their bodies melt against each other.

Nara cursed again as her fingers fumbled with Kylo's attire. She did so every time she had to undress him. It was unnecessarily complicated and took ages to get off. He couldn't help but laugh at her reaction as his own fingers expertly began to undo everything.

"Next time I come with you," she breathed as her lips brushed the bare skin on his collar bone.

"Okay," Kylo replied. His hands grabbed her by her waist, his grip fastening, his eyes hungry for her.

Nara pulled her head back and cocked it to the side. She narrowed her eyes as she let his answer replay in her head. Did he really say that?

"Okay?" she repeated, her tone careful.

"Okay," Kylo confirmed. His thumb began to stroke her hip. "The last time, you really proved yourself to me. I do not doubt it is the Force that is helping you. And after this mission, I realized I don't want to do this without you. I don't want to leave you behind."

A soft but content smile played on Nara's lips. Her heart was fluttering as she wrapped her arms around his neck and embraced him tightly. This meant a lot to her. All the time she had spent training hadn't been for nothing. To prove herself to the First Order had been her objective all along.

"I heard the Supreme Leader is impressed as well."

Nara pressed her hands on his chest, leaning back slightly. "The Supreme Leader? You spoke to him about me?"

Kylo nodded. "You are part of my life now, Nara. You have come up a few times. He has seen your progression. He commented that you are a good stormtrooper."

"A good stormtrooper," Nara repeated as she frowned. Her work hadn't gone unnoticed. The regrets she had about cutting away her transmitter were disappearing like snow before the sun. The Supreme Leader had actually noticed her, and even spoke of her as something else than a prisoner.

She was taking too long. Kylo grew impatient and he fervently leaned in to press his lips against her. "Show me," he whispered lustfully, his breath tickling her skin as his hands cupped the cheeks of her backside. "Show me how _good_ you are."

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for the long wait. I've just started my BA thesis and it's getting harder and harder to find time to write. Hopefully I made it up by the length of this chapter.

Anyway, I don't really have much to say. I think the next chapter will be quite an exciting one, if I do say so myself ;). This story is now moving into it's final 'act', but don't worry, I think it'll continue for quite a few chapters. There are so many things I still want to cover.

As always, thank you so so much for sticking with me for so long and reading this chapter. Please leave behind a review with your thoughts and perhaps your wish for this story. (where do you want to see it go?) and I will see you again soon. Take care 3


	33. Chapter XXXIII

The alarm blared. The sound carried all the way through the base, almost shaking the walls with sheer intensity. Nara's body shook in surprise as she looked up from her dinner. It was the first time she had heard it, but she knew all too well what it meant. The First Order was well hidden away in the galaxy and no one dared to attack them, so never before was there any reason to let it go off. But tonight was different. They were under attack.

Her first instinct was to look in front of her. On any other given day he would have been there, dining with her. But not this time. Kylo had been away for briefings all evening, leaving her by herself in their living quarters. Nara didn't mind. She had longed for some solitude, but now the alarm was ringing, the pattern of noise repeating itself over and over, she wished he was here with her.

So instead, she looked out of the window. It was already growing dark, the sun disappearing behind the thick layer of clouds, casting the red world in a blanket of darkness. There was nothing out there, at least not that she could see. The planet seemed to be empty, but she knew there had to be something. They would never sound the alarm over nothing.

Nara cursed as she scrambled some stuff together. Whatever was happening, she needed to help. Something inside her knew what it could possibly be, but she hoped sincerely she was not thinking straight. It was impossible. How could the Resistance have found them? She didn't even know where she had been living for this past time, so how could they have found out? They didn't have those resources, and Nara surely hadn't given them any information that could be of help.

Her uniform was displayed on the bed. The white plastoid had been cleaned and the pants had been neatly pressed. She knew she should put it on, but as the alarm continued to blare, Nara decided there was no time. Putting this on took ages, and she doubted whoever was attacking would wait for her to get dressed.

Without protection, but in the company of her trusty blaster, she was out of the door, heading down the hallway in a fast pace. They lived in a secluded wing of the building, and when she was about to enter the main part of the HQ, something crossed over the structure with a deafening noise. It was so loud it drowned out even the commotion from inside. _X-Wings._ She would recognize the sound of its engine anywhere. She had been right. It _was_ the Resistance.

She cursed again as she halted in her tracks, debating what her next move was. The first option was to find Kylo and fight by his side. She would surely feel more safe knowing he was guarding her back, yet she also knew she had an obligation to her squad. It was her duty to command them, and so the decision was quickly made.

The Resistance hadn't managed to put their foot down on First Order ground. So far, they only charged from the skies, but its blaster rods managed to find a way to cut through the building nevertheless. Every so often it struck somebody, and Nara instantly regretted not putting on her armor.

"Have you seen H Squad?" she asked some of the stormtroopers who she passed, but they all shrugged and went on their way.

Nara continued looking, adapting her plan as she went. Whoever she would find first would be the one she would fight with, whether it be Kylo or her squad.

Someone grabbed her roughly by the back of her shirt, pulling her backwards as she almost stumbled and fell. She wanted to swear, but when she looked over her shoulder and found Kylo she relaxed again.

"You need to put on your armor," he spoke sternly, his grip releasing her.

"I had no time," Nara defied, raising her blaster as she straightened herself.

"Find the time," he shot back. "You cannot fight like this. You need some protection."

"I have protection," Nara said, a slight smile playing on her lips. "I have you."

She couldn't see through his vizor, but by the way he cocked his head she knew he was warning her.

"Nara, don't be ridiculous. You need your armor like anyone else. Besides, if you're not dressed like us they'll find you immediately. No doubt they'll be looking for you."

He had a point. He always seemed to have. The moment they would spot her it would not only be the moment it could all be over, it would also be the moment they could reveal her true identity and intentions. Kylo still didn't know about the transmitter that had been behind her ear, and if they would find her alive and well, no doubt it would be brought up.

"I'll be right back. Don't leave without me."

Kylo nodded, and her hand found his. She gave it a soft squeeze before she disappeared through the thick mass of stormtroopers.

* * *

Nara had never hurried so much in her life. She ran all the way back, her blaster hanging by her side as she kept her breath under control. Once she couldn't hear any of the X-Wing's flying over anymore, she ran even faster. Either they had left or they had landed, and if it was the latter, she had to be ready.

The armor was still right where she had left it. As fast as she could Nara began to take off her own clothing, replacing it with the lighter and protective black suit that would cover her body before she would place her white armor over it. Even though it took some time, it felt good. She would have been completely exposed before. One shot on target and she would be dead and all of this would have been for nothing.

But before she had the chance to put her on her helmet, footsteps were shuffling outside of the door.

Nara stopped with what she was doing and fetched her blaster from the table. In the commotion she had left the door open, and judging by the sound, the footsteps were coming closer and closer. She perked her ears, noticing there were two pairs. _Two people_ , closing in fast.

She swallowed. Her heart rate was increasing and her skin was glowing hot. Whoever it was, if they found her, she would be trapped. There were no other exits and hiding in the bathroom would lead to nowhere. The only thing she could try was conceal herself right next to the dooropening. She could attack straight away as soon as someone headed in.

They were right behind her now. Nara held her breath, hoping they would just pass this room.

Luck wasn't in her favor. Her eyes found a foot stepping inside, followed by another. As she lifted her gaze to scan the body of whoever just entered, she pressed herself further into the wall. Her blaster was lifted high, ready to shoot, but for some reason she couldn't.

She gasped for air when she found Poe standing right before her. It had been so long since she had last seen him, that she almost had forgotten what he looked like. During her absence he seemed to have grown out his hair. Her gaze drifted down to his clothing, and the weapon he was Resistance seemed to have upgraded their uniforms. The color was still orange, but she didn't recognize the model.

Poe seemed to be more surprised than Nara was. His mouth hung slightly open, as if he wanted to say something but was lost for words, something which didn't happen often. His finger was still on the trigger of his blaster, but as the seconds passed he relaxed his arm and let it drop besides him.

"Nara?" he said, his voice surprisingly shaky.

The room seemed to grow smaller in his presence as the tension built. Once she had hoped their reunion would have been under different circumstances. Sometimes she had dreamt about it, returning to the Resistance. Everybody would have been so happy to see her. She envisioned hugging Poe so tight that it would have hurt, but now all she could think about whether she was going to have to kill him.

"I don't understand," he continued, scratching his head as he looked around the living quarters. The bed wasn't made, and there was still food on the table. It was obvious people were living here, and it Poe wasn't stupid. It would take only a matter of minutes before he would find out it was Nara who had been residing in this room.

Something bigger and louder seemed to be approaching. She had almost forgotten about the second set of footsteps, and Nara narrowed her eyes as she aimed the blaster at the open door, her eyes widening as the beat of her heart seemed to increase again.

"No, Nara—it's okay," Poe said, raising his hands slowly as he took a step forward. "It's just Finn."

She swallowed. _No,_ _not him as well_.

But Finn didn't look like she had remembered him either. The last time she had seen him he was still recovering from the terrible wound Kylo had given him. His skin had been slashed open at entire length of his spine. The medics feared he would never walk again, but it appeared they had made him something so he still could. His broad shoulders were held up by a metal structuring that was securely placed right on the place where he had been struck. It served as an artificial spinal cord, and judging by the way the structure was connected to his arms and legs, Kylo had also managed to damage his nerve system in the process.

He looked downright menacing, half robot half man. Everything was so different from what she remembered that Nara made peace with the fact that they had to die more easily than she had anticipated. They were her friends once, but not anymore. They were her enemies now.

"You're alive?!" Finn exclaimed, and as he was about to take the same step forward Nara aimed her blaster right as his heart. They could fix his spine but there was no cure for death.

"We thought you died," Poe tried to explain, his voice back to his usual calmness. "After we lost the transmission link, we feared that was the end. It is so good to see you're still alive."

She didn't respond. Her eyes kept switching between Finn and Poe, keeping a close attention to their every move. Even though her objective was getting back to Kylo as soon as possible, she couldn't help but want to hear what they had to say.

"Put down that blaster, Nara, it's okay. You can come home with us."

While Poe was clearly appeasing the situation and trying to get her to come back, Finn looked rather mistrustful. He had narrowed his eyes, and where Poe had his weapon hanging by his side, he kept his firmly pointed at Nara.

"She is wearing a stormtrooper uniform," Finn observed. Of course he would have recognized it, it had been his own not too long ago.

"I can see that," Poe mumbled back, not as convinced as his counterpart. It was if he was arguing that it was part of her defense. He still believed she was undercover.

"What are you two doing here?" Nara then hissed.

Her voice seemed to catch them by surprise.

"You know I have to kill you now."

Poe ruffled his brows while Finn adopted a defense position, his metal screeching as he moved.

"Nara?" the pilot said, his voice now shaky again.

"You heard me," she replied. "If you go now I'll give you a head's start, but if I see you again out there you leave me no choice. I _have_ to do it."

Poe shook his head. "Hold up, what—what is going on?"

Finn knew the answer. "She's one of them," he said firmly, recognizing the pattern. He went to the Resistance, and she went to the First Order. They were at opposite ends.

"What—no, don't be ridiculous," Poe replied, but as he turned his head back to look at Nara she could see he knew that Finn was right.

"Where are Rey and Skywalker?" Nara asked out of the blue, figuring now that she was in this situation she might as well make the most of it. Think of how proud Kylo would be if she were the one to figure out their location. Perhaps they were here, on this planet, fighting with the Resistance. She knew there was nothing more he wanted than to kill them with his own hands.

"Leia was right," Poe said, his eyes widening as he realized what was going on. "She was right. She was afraid something had happened to you. She felt it, but I just—I couldn't believe it was true. Nara? How could you do this? Are you with them now? It makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense, Poe. You have no idea what power the dark side possesses. I have never been more capable and alive than I am now. If only you could see it as well, you'd understand."

"I've seen it," Finn shot back before he took a daring step forward. "Oh, I've seen the power of the dark side. The way you murder innocent people. You murder children, and you take them, so you can train them to become mindless clones for your army. This place—it's a doctrine. You live in oppression and you will eliminate anyone who dares to think differently."

Nara shook her head as she scoffed. No wonder he deserted the First Order and went to the Resistance. He understood nothing of it.

"Just because you are _weak_ , doesn't mean the system doesn't work, Finn," she defended. "Your a _traitor_."

"No." Poe's voice thundered. "You are."

A short but feverish laugh escaped from her mouth. "Maybe I am. Does it matter? We're all where we belong."

"I can't believe you let this happen. We never should've let you go, not with Ren here. It's all his fault. He influenced you like Snoke influenced him."

"Leave him out of it," Nara snapped.

"No. Let's talk about him for just a second. Can't you see he did this to you? You would never think about joining the First Order when you were with us. You hated them while you still loved Ben. You were able to distinguish between the two. It appears you've lost that ability, and deep down inside you know this is wrong."

This was taking too long. Why was she hesitating so much? If she just killed them that would be the end of it. They were simply stalling, trying to buy time while her soldiers were fighting. She wanted to join them, she needed to join them. _I promised Kylo I'd fight by his side_.

Her head shot to the doorway before it turned back to Finn and Poe. She had been away for some time now, and while getting changed into this uniform usually took a while, it would never take this long. It would be sooner rather than later before someone would come looking for her. If they found Poe and Finn here with her she had a lot of explaining to do. Why hadn't she killed them yet? But above all, _why where they claiming she belonged to the Resistance?_

The only thing she had kept from Kylo all this time, was her ties to the Resistance, and when she finally thought she had completely gotten rid of all the evidence by cutting away the transmitter, these two had to show up and ruin everything she had worked for.

Nara closed her eyes, taking in a sharp breath as her finger tightened around the trigger of her blaster.

"Your time is up."

* * *

 **A/N:** CLIFFHANGER! Woo! This chapter was a lot of fun to write, and I can only imagine the next one will be even better. Hopefully this was an unexpected twist. I was waiting for a chance to bring back the Resistance and provide Nara with some necessary confrontations.

I'm sorry it took so long to upload. As I said before I'm busy with writing my BA thesis and this honestly takes up more time than I expected. I'll try to write whenever I can, because I'm still very much dedicated to this story.

So that's it! Please, _please_ , let me know your thoughts on what happened in this chapter and I'll see you all next time :D Take care 3


	34. Chapter XXXIV

She had spoken the words, but found it hard to follow through with the actions. Her fingers had wrapped around the trigger, it slightly trembling under the pressure. One last time her eyes met with Poe's, and she regretted doing so. He not only looked scared, he looked disappointed, and that probably hurt the most.

 _You said it. Their time's up. Now do it._ Nara closed her eyes for a millisecond as she didn't have much longer. She tried to tap into whatever power had pushed her to pulling that trigger back on the recruitment missions. Back then she had had no problems with killing someone. Whatever was helping her then, perhaps it could help her now.

Nara took in a sharp breath. No more doubt. No more pity. They were traitors. They deserved to die. She would count down from ten, and then she would pull that trigger.

Without warning, the darkness outside of the window was lifted and the red planet was cast into an ever red light. An immense explosion went off, the fire and the smoke going straight up in the air. Whatever it was exploded without sound, for the windows were sound and air proof, but it nevertheless managed to catch everyone's attention as they were all wondering whether it was in their favor or not.

She shook her head. They were distracted now. This would be her moment.

But then, an explosion of the same kind took her entirely by surprise. The first one seemed to have been further away, but this one seemed to have been almost right on top of their head.

Nara's body was flung backwards into the wall. She was lucky for the white plastid armor that covered her body, as it made sure the fire couldn't directly affect her, but the explosion still managed to hurt her back nevertheless. Her blaster had been ripped out of her hands, and smoke had slowly filled the entire room, blinding her vision. She held her breath to prevent it from filling her lungs, but it didn't take long before she had to gasp for air.

She tried to scramble to her feet. The blast had almost made her forget she had been here with Poe and Finn, but when she lifted her gaze from the ground to where they were standing, Nara let out a shriek.

Once her bed had been in that corner. Nara always loved how it looked out over the barren planet. In all the desolation she managed to find something beautiful and soothing. Now, nothing was left. The building had been ripped open in its entirety, which also explained why her ears were ringing terribly.

There was no sight of Poe nor Finn. Nara's heart was pounding in her chest as she tried to take both careful breaths and careful steps towards the edge of her living quarters. The blast had completely taken off the side of their wing of the building, and as she stood on the end and her eyes were able to slide down, she felt her head spinning.

Never before had she realized how high up they had been, but now she could see all the way down it felt daunting. What felt even more terrifying was the fact that she couldn't find Poe and Finn anywhere. Either they were able to get out of here before she had picked herself up, or they were down there, covered in debris. Nara didn't know which option she preferred.

Even though the view down was anything but reassuring, she couldn't pull her gaze away. It seemed to draw her in, but perhaps it was just a distraction while her mind worked hard to think of a plan. She had no idea who had dropped this bomb on them, but she guessed it was the Resistance. The thought of it almost made her chuckle. Did they know that by doing that they killed their best two fighters?

Her hearing seemed to come back. Goosebumps covered her skin as she took a step backwards, away from the edge. Her back was hurting, as was her leg, but there was no time to check the daamge. She needed to get going and find the rest. The explosion had destroyed half of the living quarters, which included her blaster and her helmet, but it didn't matter. Judging by the intensity of the battle, Nara figured that undoubtedly she would run across a shot down stormtrooper. She would just borrow their equipment.

Without her helmet she felt naked, but at least she had some armor covering the rest of her body. Once she was back in the corridor leading back to the main building, it was as if the blast hadn't damaged the wing at all. Everything it destroyed was hidden away behind doors, and for a moment longer she could pretend the First Order was winning this fight.

It took some time before she came across a shot down stormtrooper. As fast as she could she retrieved its blaster, before kneeling down besides the soldier to slide the helmet of their head.

Nara didn't realize her mouth was hanging open as her gaze fell on the face that had been concealed by the white plastoid. Underneath it was a man, a little younger than she had been. He had high cheekbones, and his eyes, blue as the sky, were still open. Never before had she seen the stormtrooper's face, only the high-ranking officers revealed theirs. Never before had she even thought about who was beneath the mask, fighting for the First Order.

The familiar sound of blaster rods flying through the air made her snap out of her trance. Nara put the helmet over her head as she gripped her own weapon tightly before stepping over the body to proceed further down the hallway.

Finding her squad was a lost cause, especially considering everyone was dressed so much alike. The only chance was someone would know where they were, but looking at the situation Nara doubted squadrons were still sticking together. Everyone was trying desperately to survive. The moment the First Order had bombed their HQ she knew they were having the upper hand.

Her eyes continuously darted over the place in search of something bright and red. Amongst the chaos, Kylo's lightsaber had to stand out.

"Have you seen Ren?" Nara said to the nearest stormtrooper she could find. Her voice sounded mechanical through her helmet.

"No," a similarly mechanical voice spoke back. "I have lost my entire squad since the blast. I heard more are coming, and that they are regrouping."

Nara had no idea where the Resistance was getting all of these weapons from. They were able to overpower the First Order, an organization known for its impeccable arsenal. Whatever planet they had stolen this from, it had belonged to them. They were fighting with their weapons against themselves.

"We need to get out of this building," Nara said with new found confidence. It was as if she snapped back into her leader position. "If they strike again we'll be covered by debris and the chance of survival will be slim. Take this outside. Tell as many others as you can."

The stormtrooper nodded, gripped his blaster, and went on his way, patting on the shoulders of everyone he passed.

She followed them closely. Whatever was going on, they needed to get out of this building. The Resistance was obviously relying heavily on their fleet of X-Wings and other fighters. The only way they could win this was if they could take those out. Hiding inside would get them nowhere except possibly killed.

They were still heavily bombarded by blaster fire coming from the sky. It seemed that the Resistance had expanded their army considerably since she had left. While they had always had a strong fleet of ships, they were never that good on the ground, and judging by the rebel soldiers she saw approaching in the distance, they had doubled their size.

Nara progressed outside. It was an exceptionally hot night on the First Order's red planet, and the lack of rain over the past few days made it very dusty. She spotted stormtroopers who had been fighting for a longer time who were completely covered in a layer of dust, painting them a crimson color.

Even through her helmet, it was getting hard to breathe. The filter in built in the plastoid fkept out the dust in the air, but it couldn't stop the humidity and heat, but still, she continued. Kylo had to be here somewhere. She looked up ahead, and then to the skies. Her eyes found a First Order spacecraft taking off, immediately firing its blasters for protection. He wouldn't have left her behind, would he?

For a moment she stopped in her tracks as she followed it move through the sky. Nara held her breath as she waited for it to jump into hyperspace, but to her surprise it stayed in the planet's atmosphere and continued fighting. A surge of relief went through her body. For just a second she truly believed he had left her behind. It wouldn't be unthinkable for Snoke to get his most prized possession out of here.

Something shiny to her left caught her attention. _Phasma_. If anyone would know where to find Kylo, it would be her.

Nara didn't waste any time and picked up her pace as she made her way through the battlefield, dodging blaster rods as she ducked low before returning fire. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Every sound around her seemed to be louder than normal, but perhaps that was because her hearing was only now finally coming back to her.

"Captain?" she breathed when she finally reached her.

Phasma looked over her shoulder before focusing again ahead of her.

"There you are," she merely said, as if she was completely oblivious to everything happening around them. "That took you a long time."

"I almost got blown up by the Resistance, give me a break," Nara snapped. She ducked low behind a scrap that seemed to have belonged to fighter, rising again to return fire before crouching down again.

Phasma seemed to be offended by her comment, and she knew that in any other situation she would have gotten in trouble over it, but she couldn't help herself. From getting caught by Poe and Finn to losing Kylo. She had no time for formalities at the moment.

"Has the Resistance spotted you yet?" the captain then continued, her voice as monotone as always.

Nara swallowed as she felt her heart skip a beat.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "No one has seen me."

A lie. A big one. It had been some time since she had last lied to the First Order, but the blast had hit them so closely. Poe and Finn were dead. They had to be. There was no way they had gotten out of there alive. The Resistance did not know she was here. If anything, they hopefully still believed she had died after their communication link stopped working.

"Good. Kylo has ordered that you stay to the back. Behave like anyone else. Do not take off your helmet. Do not unnecessarily put yourself at risk."

Nara nodded shallowly. Her eyes darted over the battlefield, actively trying to find Kylo. At least he was still here and he was still alive if he managed to give Phasma orders.

"Nara!" Phasma warned. The captain never called her by her own name. She normally always referred to her stormtrooper code. That was when she knew both her and Kylo were being serious. "Do you understand?"

"I'll stay behind and do not take off my helmet," Nara said dryly. "I understand."

Phasma seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if she wasn't sure whether to believe Nara's words, but then, eventually, she charged forward, her blaster aimed high as she fired off as many rods of plasma as she could. Her chrome armor reflected even in the dark as she moved surprisingly light on her feet considering what she was wearing.

The captain had been right to distrust her. Nara knew she should stay behind as was ordered, but she couldn't stand back and watch the fight unfold right before her eyes without her doing something, and also, she needed to find Kylo. Phasma had disappeared before she had the chance to ask about his whereabouts, but he had to be close.

Nara waited for Phasma to get out of sight. The moment she had stopped talking to her was the moment Nara went from being who she was, to being anonymous. She blended in immediately, and even though the captain had a knack for being able to tell everyone apart even though they all wore identical armors, amidst this chaos even she stood no chance.

There was no way of telling who was winning this battle. Blaster rods were flying through the air all around her, crashing into the debris that come from X-Wings and TIE-Fighters that covered the once barren planet. Nara decided to let the fighting up to the other stormtroopers. Her one and only priority right now was finding Kylo before something could happen to him. While she presumed Poe and Finn to be dead, she had a bad feeling about it all. Something inside of her was telling her something terrible was about to happen, but she had no idea what it could be.

It wasn't until she began to roam around that she realized how big this fight was. The Resistance seemed to have come with their entire fleet and army, taking the First Order by complete surprise on every level. It was still unclear to her how they found out their position. She had given them a description of the planet in the beginning, but even Nara didn't know the name of her new home.

Nara wandered around for what seemed like ages. Perhaps she felt like it took so long because she was constantly hiding behind something to prevent her getting shot. Covering a lot of ground was hard all by herself, but what was even harder was seeing through the thick cloud of red dust that was starting to form. The activity plus the explosions caused the sand to rise into the air, making it hard to see.

Occasionally a plasma rod took her by surprise, but against all odds, Nara had managed to proceed through the battle virtually unscathed. In the beginning she just started to walk in one direction, figuring that sooner or later she would run into him, but after a while she realized she was walking with purpose. It was as if something inside of her was guiding her.

And then she saw him. The skies seemed to be lit up by explosions, lights from fighter jets, and blasters, and through the red dust his tall stature stood out immensely. His black uniform made it look like a silhouette of Kylo, but when she squinted her eyes together she could just make out his mask. Her heart fluttered before she wrapped her fingers tightly around her blaster as she began to run.

Her boots felt heavy as she picked up the pace. His silhouette became clearer and clearer with every step that she took forward. Nara's eyes scanned his body, noting his lightsaber wasn't ignited.

She continued. Just a few more steps now. Her eyes never left him. His helmet now became clearly visible, the menacing look striking her even after all this time. Compared to his uniform the Resistance looked laughable with their orange jumpsuits.

"Kylo!" Nara yelled.

No response. Perhaps he couldn't hear her over all of the commotion made by the fighting that happened around them.

She called out again. Nara held her breath as she awaited his answer, but once more he didn't seem to have heard her.

Maybe she needed to get closer and speak louder. Her ears were still ringing from the earlier blast. It could well possibly be that she spoke so soft he couldn't hear her.

He was within touching distance now. Transfixed by getting him to acknowledge her, Nara dropped her gun besides her on the ground and extended her arm, her fingers almost brushing the fabric of his black uniform.

As soon as she touched him a shock rippled through her body, sending her back down on the ground.

Nara let out an audible gasp, as everything seemed to grow darker than it was before. Either she had lost her vision, or the fighting had suddenly stopped, covering the planet once again in complete darkness.

Her fingers found the edge of her helmet, and with a yanking movement she pulled it off her head. Her chest heaved up and down as she tried to regain her breath. What just happened? She rubbed her fists in her eyes, but it only caused her to see colors rather than reality.

It sounded as if someone was saying her name. Nara looked around her, but her vision failed her as she tried to scramble to her feet only to fall over face down into the sand. The voice called again. Was this part of the shock she just received? Was she hallucinating?

Nothing made sense. It hadn't dawn on her that Kylo had not moved an inch since the moment she had laid her eyes on him. Even when she was so close she touched him he didn't even seem to have felt her. It was as if she had reached for a statue.

Something grabbed her roughly under her arms and began to pull her up to her feet. Nara's heart was pounding in her throat as she tried to kick and scream her way loose. Kylo would never pick her up like this, not with this amount of force. Someone else had taken a hold of her, and she had a feeling it wasn't the First Order who was doing so.

"LET ME GO," Nara exclaimed, followed by a plea for Kylo. She had just seen him, just touched him. Why wasn't he helping her? Why hadn't he moved at all?

They had given up on getting her to stand. Whoever was holding her continued by dragging her over the ground. She tried to order to put her down once again, but they didn't care.

While her senses were failing her at the moment, the only thing she had left was her mind, and it was racing. Nara tried to regulate her breathing as she tried to make sense of this as they proceeded to drag her off to somewhere.

Apart from the First Order, there was no one on this planet except for the Resistance. It had to be them. Someone had told them she was still here, against all odds. They knew she is with them now. They knew she cut out the transmitter to completely rid herself of the Resistance.

Nara closed her eyes. She couldn't see anyway, and she wanted to get as little dust in them as she possibly could. The Resistance had trapped her. They used Kylo to lure her in, knowing they could never find her otherwise. Dressed as a stormtrooper she was no different then the rest of them, but they knew she would come to find him. He was her only weakness.

It was as if Nara was living through a cycle. She was a prisoner once again. She was going to have to escape, once again. And it looked like she was without Kylo, once again.

* * *

 **A/N:** My apologies for the long wait. It was a combination of little time and not being sure where I wanted this to go. As you might have guessed, I'm moving into the final phase of this story. I'm very excited for it. Where going to move to a different situation which will make everything more interesting. Being stuck in the same place all the time got a little boring. I hope you will like it as well!

I'll try to update sooner this time, promise! Please let me know your thoughts, and as always, take care 3


	35. Chapter XXXV

Nara couldn't see where they had brought her. Her senses were still failing her, and her mind was spinning in confusion. Kylo had looked so real. What kind of trick had they played on her, and how did they even know of her existence? She was supposed to be dead, at least to them. It had to mean Poe or Finn had to have survived. They were the only two who had seen her. If only she would have just shot them when she had the chance…

Her hearing was the first to return to her. Resistance fighters were speaking in the background, but their voices were muffled by the noise of what seemed to be a spacecraft. As she already suspected, they were taking her off the planet.

"Let me go," she said now she could hear herself talk again while she wiggled with her arm, but they were trapped like the rest of her body.

Nobody responded to her and Nara figured she could assess the situation better when her vision also returned. Right now she could only see patches of light and dark, but that didn't get her very far. So while she waited, her mind kept going over what had happened, trying to make sense of it all, closing her eyes as she couldn't see anything anyway.

She had touched Kylo, that much she knew. He hadn't responded to her, nor had he moved at all. The only thing that had happened was Nara getting hit by that shock. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. The current had gone through her entire body, wiping out her sense as well as ability to think straight for a moment.

Nara snapped out of her trance when she heard a voice that was once very familiar to her. She opened her eyes, finding that her sight had partially returned. Only a flew clouds of color were invading her field of vision, but now she at least could see where she was.

They had brought her onto a ship, like she had guessed, but instead of brining her to a cell, they had placed her right among the fighters in the control room. She was trapped in a heavy metal chair, both her hands and her legs tied tightly so she couldn't escape. In the back of the room she could look out over the galaxy. They had already jumped into light speed and were far away from wherever the First Order had positioned themselves.

She then focused on the person who had come to stand before her. Leia had her hands on her hips, yet after everything Nara had done her eyes were still full of compassion.

"Nara," she spoke simply, her voice as calming just like before. "I'm sorry for the restraints. I do not wish them upon you, but you leave us no choice."

Leia took another step forward as she now crossed her arms in front of her chest. Around them, the control room continued, but Nara knew they were all listening closely.

"I have to say, I was very surprised when Poe informed me you were alive and well. I was even more surprised you had cut out your transmitter and joined the First Order. In fact, I have learned you even accompanied them on recruiting missions. Nara… What were you thinking?"

Poe was alive. Nara wanted to curse. This was her own fault. If only she had done what she needed to do she would still be there, back where she belonged. Instead, she had been weak, and her weakness had not only cost her her position in the First Order, it had also cost her Kylo.

"I was thinking that I can't believe I didn't join them sooner," she shot back, her voice trembling from her anger. "They gave me everything I couldn't get when I was with the Resistance."

"Like what?" Leia sounded desperate. They truly couldn't understand each other, that became clear immediately.

"They saw something in me. They gave me power, _purpose_. I belonged there, I never belonged with the Resistance."

Leia shook her head. "We could've given you all of that, Nara. You know that."

"Yeah?" Nara replied defiantly. "The First Order gave me Kylo. I could never have been with him if I was here. Everything I did, it was worth it. And now you've taken me away again from him."

She could see in the way Leia's expression changed she knew something that Nara didn't. A twinkle appeared in her eyes, and she uncrossed her arms, leaning forward slightly.

"We haven't taken you away, Nara. He's here."

Her heart leaped out of her chest as she felt goosebumps cover her skin. What did she mean he was here? Once again her mind was working overtime. What was happening?

"We wouldn't have gotten you as well if you weren't so stupid to touch him," Leia continued to explain, her voice now a lot less compassionate than before. "Why do you think you're not in a cell right now? There is only one."

"I—I don't understand," Nara said, narrowing her eyes as she focused on her bound hands.

"We didn't try to trick you, Nara. In fact, we weren't there for you at all. We didn't even know you were alive, remember? When Poe told me about you I didn't want to leave you behind, but you were never the priority. Kylo Ren was. We didn't even have to lure you in, you did that yourself."

So it really was him. She always knew it truly had been him. Even with his mask on, she would have spotted a fake anytime. Kylo carried himself with a certain unmistakable manner which couldn't be imitated. The puzzle pieces were finally starting to fall into place, but there was still a lot missing.

"But that doesn't explain the shock you received," Leia said, guessing what Nara was thinking about. "While you were away we have accomplished quite a few things. Just like you, we've been recruiting, finding new members to expand our army. We knew we were going to attack the First Order's base sooner or later, and we needed to be prepared. The weapons we used yesterday—"

"They were ours," Nara finished.

Leia nodded. "Yes. Notably, it was not that hard to get those. The First Order has grown so big that it seems your superiors have trouble to keep it all together. So we got the weapons, trained the new recruits, gathered intelligence. You didn't tell us much about your whereabouts, but the transmitter did more than just serve as a communication line between us. We knew where you were before you did, and when you cut it out we were already close to attacking."

Nara couldn't believe all of this had happened while she had been away. The truth was, she had lost the track of time while she was with the First Order, and it appeared she was gone for a much longer time than she had guessed.

"I shouldn't have never sent you there, Nara. It is my fault all of this has happened. I thought you were strong enough to resist him, but once again I underestimated the power of the dark side. The moment you were gone I knew I made a mistake."

"No," Nara countered. "You were right in sending me there. You did me the biggest favor I could ever ask for."

"And you are further gone than I had hoped. Your loyalty to the First Order is admirable. Shame I couldn't say the same about your loyalty to _us_."

Leia's words weren't supposed to sting, they did. She was confused by her own feelings. Everyone who belonged to the Resistance deserved to die. They actively went against everything the First Order stood for, but then why did she feel bad for turning their back on her? Was it Leia who was influencing her?

"But it didn't stop there. I know we weren't able to overpower Kylo by our own. Rey did it once, but we couldn't risk our entire organization hoping she could do it again. You know we were looking for Luke. Well… We found him. Rey convinced him to come back, and with his help we were able to get Kylo."

Nara couldn't believe her ears. They found Luke Skywalker. She knew they had the map, she had seen it after all. She had even been on the planet where he was supposed to be. Had she thought they would be able to convince him to come back? No. The Resistance kept on proving her wrong, and not only her, but also the First Order had greatly underestimated their abilities.

"You touched Kylo while he was under Luke's control. That was what caused the shock. Luckily you reacted rather well. It could've ended up a lot worse, that's for sure."

"I want to see him," Nara then demanded, gripping the chair was strapped to tightly.

"Kylo?" Leia shook her head. "That is not possible. As I said. We were only planning on getting him, and now we also have you. We didn't plan for this, so we don't really know yet what to do with you. Of course you'll be questioned thoroughly about your stay. But the trust that was once between us is gone. You're faith is up to the council."

"So you attacked the First Order's base just to get Kylo?"

"It seems like a lot when you say it like that," Leia agreed before continuing, "but we were never going to get to him otherwise. We had the element of surprise, everyone was scattered and no one would know what to do. It worked out perfectly."

Nara took in a sharp breath, releasing it slowly. "But why did you _want_ him?"

Leia bowed her head, their eyes meeting again.

"You know the answer to that question."

The general was right. Nara knew the answer, she just wanted to hear her say it. There was nothing more in the world Leia wanted than to get her son back. She had often spoken about it, stating that letting him go had been her biggest mistake. Besides the obvious reason, there was also the fact that Kylo was incredibly valuable to Supreme Leader Snoke, which made him just as valuable to the Resistance.

"So, congratulations," Nara spoke with a tone of mocking to her voice. "You've outsmarted the First Order. You have Kylo and you have me. What now?"

A soft smile unraveled on Leia's lips.

"We go home."

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, so the confusion about the last chapter has not gone unnoticed. Hope this explains it all :)


	36. Chapter XXXVI

They descended down to another nameless planet. It was seemed bigger than D'Qar had been, with a mountain range going all the way from on side to the other. Trees covered the base, and even though the planet seemed to be as deserted as the First Order's HQ had been, in appearance it looked the exact opposite. It was far from the barren planet she had learned to love.

In her mind, Nara went over the list of possible locations the First Order had gathered back when they were planning their attack. Out of all the planets they had found, this one hadn't even been on their list. The Resistance kept on surprising her, and she couldn't say she liked it very much.

Nobody spoke to her after Leia had come to seen her. Nara kept her eyes and ears open, hoping to catch something about Kylo, or perhaps see Poe again. She couldn't imagine how he could've survived that blast. But as they prepared to land she heard nothing about Kylo, nor about Poe. Everyone seemed to purposely fall quiet around her and quickly shuffle along. It was apparent they had received instructions to keep her completely in the dark.

Her presence seemed to be ignored even as they brought her off the ship onto the airstrip on the Resistance's new home planet. The ground around her was full of ships and outbuildings to house them. Fighters were busy working on repairing some of the X-Wings and in the far distance she saw a building that couldn't be anything else but their headquarters.

Where they once had nothing more than a below ground shelter that served as a control room, they now seemed to have gotten hold of a structure that was made entirely out of glass. The walls were curved and through the windows she could see equipment that suspiciously looked very progressive and a lot like that of the First Order.

Nara's breath got caught in her throat as she continued to take everything in around her. Slowly it began to dawn on her that the Resistance could never have built all of this in such a short space of time. Everything was done to an impeccable standard, and the tools that the crew around her were using to fix the starfighters looked a little too advanced to be their own.

This planet had belonged to the First Order. They had taken it from them and repurposed it as their own. That was why the planet wasn't on their list. The Resistance had taken one of their own planets right from under their nose, and no one had noticed. It was another sign the First Order had grown too big for its own good. It had become unmanageable and that allowed for mistakes like this to happen. Mistakes which proved to be fatal.

While her captors did not speak, their expressions said more than enough. As they walked her down the airstrip it was hard to ignore how they all stopped working and turned their head to her. Nara tried to keep her gaze focused ahead of her, doing everything she could to avoid their eyes. She didn't want to see the disappointment, anger, and disgust. She knew what she had done, and for just a moment she didn't want to come to terms with the consequences of her actions.

They passed the HQ and continued to follow the path to the side, revealing what seemed like a whole town with the same style glass buildings. When they stopped in front of the one of the buildings and took the elevator up to the second floor, a feeling of confusion washed over her. She figured they would take her to a prison, and even by First Orders standards this would be a very luxurious cell.

One of her captors opened the door to what revealed to be an apartment. It was fully furnished to the First Order standards, and she couldn't help but notice how their insignia had been taken off of the pieces that filled the room, leaving behind a blank spot that stood out from the cleanliness of it all.

Without another word, they left her behind in the cold and empty living quarters. The lights were off, and in the distance she could see the sun setting through the window. While everything inside looked so similar, the view outside made her feel nauseous. For so long Nara had been used to see nothing but an endless plain of red dirt. Now, trees instantly blocked her view, and behind those a mountain range climbed up high into the air. While she was the first to admit that this planet was much more beautiful, she couldn't help but feel claustrophobic.

The Resistance had stolen almost everything from the First Order, but what they didn't manage to get was a decent supply of food. They had kindly provided her with food, but it was far from what she used to eat back at the First Order. Solemnly she pushed the grey block that was supposed to be her dinner with her finger and watched it bounce back. It tasted just as bland as it looked, but at least it was filling and the hunger that had settled in her stomach disappeared.

It wasn't until now she was able to let her mind work and think about everything that had happened. She couldn't understand why they hadn't brought her to a cell. At first she figured that maybe they had trapped her in here, but she knew that window would break easily and they hadn't even bothered the lock the door. It was clear that she wasn't a prisoner, but why?

It became obvious that the Resistance didn't feel threatened by her in the slightest, and Nara was lying if that didn't anger her a bit. They knew very well what she had done. She was capable of things she never imagined she could do, so why weren't they afraid of her? Did they think she wouldn't do anything as long as she was here under their influence?

Still, their doubt in her abilities made her doubt her own. If she was able to get her hands on a weapon, would she be able to kill anyone? The villagers had been easy as she hadn't known them. But she knew most of the people here, and they all knew her.

Flashbacks of her hesitation to shoot Poe and Finn returned to her. If only she had taken the shot, then they wouldn't have known she had been there. She had been dead to them once, and she would still have been. If she had just taken the shot, she could've helped the First Order to find Kylo. Were they ever to get here to get Kylo back, she knew they were never going to rescue her as well. Kylo was one of their most important weapons. Without him, they lost not only a great warrior, but also a leader. Nara, on the other hand, meant little to her. They would leave her behind without ever looking back, just like they would do with any old stormtrooper.

 _Kylo_. The last time she had seen him, his body was under Luke's control. She had touched his arm, and the unresponsive look on his face still made her shiver. He had been as motionless as a statue, and for a moment she had wondered if they had trapped her with a very realistic holo version of him.

She pushed her chair backwards and climbed on the stark white couch to look out of the window. The sun had completely set by now, and all the residences were lit up. The HQ looked especially impressive illuminated in a soft blue light that cast a glow over the rest of the buildings, ground, and trees that stood to the side.

He had to be out there somewhere. Nara doubted they would have given him a similar room like she had received. He would be locked tightly in a cell, and considering this had been one of the First Order's planets, that cell was going to be impregnable.

Nara twisted her fingers together as she bit her lip. She had to think logically. This was a First Order base. She knew how they operated. Her eyes darted over all the buildings. Where the Resistance often kept their prisoners in out buildings separated from the rest, the First Order did things differently. They liked to keep a close eye on anyone they imprisoned. Never would they put a prisoner of important far from the rest rest of them.

Her gaze stopped at the HQ. It took a moment for her eyes to get adjusted to the blue light. Kylo would be in there. She was sure of it. If the place was anything like she guessed it to be the cells would be located underground. He was so close. The only thing she had to do was leave her living quarters and cross over. Guards would probably be keeping watch, but what if she could outsmart them and go in nevertheless?

She looked over her shoulder to the door. They had left it open. Would that mean no one was going to stop her when she would leave? The hallway had been awfully quiet during the time she had stayed here and there had been no sign of any guards standing besides her door.

Butterflies began to rise in her stomach as she felt a pressure forming on her chest. Nara couldn't wait here and do nothing. While she didn't have any contact with the First Order, she needed to see him again. She needed to know how he was doing and if she was able to help him. It was her own lack of action that got the two of them here—it was the least she could do.

Nara shuffled towards the door with her arm already outstretched to push the screen that would open it. As her fingers almost touched the pad, she hesitated for a moment and listened once more. But everything was quiet—eerily quiet. There seemed to be no one in the hallway and she began to wonder if she was the only person in this entire building.

The door opened, revealing a long hallway with more doors that led to other living quarters. Nara held her breath, but when it became apparent that she indeed was the only one there, she began to walk. Her First Orders boots felt heavy on her feet as her footsteps echoed through the hall. Her mind had been all over the place and she had forgotten to change into something more comfortable and perhaps appropriate. While the white plastoid of her uniform blended into the walls, she still looked immensely out of place among the rest of the fighters.

She remembered every detail about the way they came in, and with ease Nara had found her way out of her building. The coldness of the night surprised her. The First Order's red planet had been covered in a constant sheet of warmth. She took a deep breath, letting the cool air fill her lungs, reminding her of how much she had missed this.

The HQ radiated enough blue light to illuminate all the other buildings. Nara shielded her eyes from the brightness as she waited for them to adjust before she continued to move. She couldn't believe how easy all of this had been. There had been no guards outside of her doors, and even outside everything seemed to be deserted. They had seriously underestimated her. Did Leia really think she would decently stay at her living quarters to await her punishment?

As soon as she approached the entryway of the headquarters, the doors automatically slid open. The inside looked exactly like she remembered it to look back at the First Order. The walls were structured with intricate lights and the overall cold appearance of it all seemed to look like the opposite from the Resistance's first headquarters on D'Qar. The only thing that was missing was the immense amount of stormtroopers wandering about.

But this building as empty as well. Even though it had grown dark outside, she found it wasn't that late at night and she had expected some of the Resistance fighters still working. This all had been too easy, even Nara realized that. Either they did care about her at all, or they hadn't figured she would do something like this. Still, it wasn't enough to stop her from continuing.

Now she was inside, it was time to think. Where was she imprisoned? Where did the First Order put the cells? Instead of taking the elevator, she took the stairs down, her heart pounding in her chest as she descended lower and lower into the ground. Everything was so familiar to her that she let her memories guide her. One more level down, corridor to the right, followed by a left. Now she couldn't see the outside world it was exactly like being back, making it even easier to find what she was looking for.

Nara halted in her tracks when she saw the door that would lead to the cells. She turned her head over her shoulder. They would never leave _Kylo Ren_ alone down here, would they?

She took slow steps forward, a feeling of fear taking over her body. The last time she had seen him his body had been frozen. He hadn't been himself, and now that he was she had no idea what to expect. Did he even know she was here? How was she going to explain that she wasn't locked up like he was?

Nara shook her head and told herself to get on with it. She had come so far now, turning back around was not an option anymore. There was just a wall separating the two of them. Just a little further and they would be together again.

She had no idea what to expect, and when the doors opened, Nara closed her eyes in anticipation. Her heartbeat increased to impossible levels and her skin felt clammy as she took a step inside. The cell was awfully quiet, just like the rest of the place had been. The only thing audible was soft breathing coming from straight ahead.

Her eyes shot open. When they were focusing properly she saw him. He was strapped into a similar bench that they used on all the prisoners. His arms and legs were tied and the only thing he was able to move was his head. They had stripped him from most of his uniform, his helmet, and of course his lightsaber was no where to be found.

Nara hurried forward. She was so fast their eyes hadn't been able to meet, and before he could say anything she reached forward.

"Kylo!" she breathed as she flung her hands around his neck and forcing her body in an awkward position to bury her face in his neck, but before she was able to she felt him pulling his head away as far as his restraints allowed him to.

She looked up and pulled away her arms, narrowing her eyes as she scanned his face for an explanation.

His gaze pierced through hers. Nara had expected him to be surprised, and perhaps a little relieved to see her, but what she found was the opposite. His lips were pressed tightly together, forming a stern line. His eyes, which were always so warm when he looked at her, seemed to be spitting fire.

"I'm so happy to see you," Nara tried, forcing a smile on her face, hoping he hadn't noticed her voice trembling in doubt.

Kylo responded by gripping the armrests tightly. He then looked away from her eyes and stared at the wall, closing them once slowly before opening his mouth to speak.

"How could you do this to me?"

His voice sounded so low that it almost felt like it was being distorted by his mask.

Nara took a slow step back as she raised her hands in front of herself in defense. She had no idea what he was talking about. What did Leia tell him about her? Had she blown her cover?

She could feel her cheeks glowing red, and she was glad he kept his gaze fixed on the wall ahead so he couldn't see her worry.

"What are you talking about? I came to rescue you. We have to find a way out of here."

"You _betrayed_ me," Kylo's voice boomed throughout the cell, and that was the point when Nara knew enough.

It felt as if the world shifted beneath her feet and she was about to fall over. Everything she had worked for had been undone. The trust she had gained after so long, all the things she had done in the name of the First Order—for nothing. He knew. He knew she had been with the Resistance.

"No," Nara said, shaking her head both in defiance and disbelief. "You don't understand. It's complicated."

He then turned his head back to face Nara, his eyes burning through her own.

"No, it's not that complicated. It is very clear to me. You spied on me for the Resistance. You abused my trust. You abused my love, Nara."

The way he had spoken her name made it feel he had stabbed her right through her heart. Nara curled her hands into a fist as she felt her blood boiling. Leia had ratted her out. She told him everything about their arrangement, but of course she failed to mention how she had switched sides; how she had pledged her allegiance to the First Order.

"Did Leia tell you this?" Nara asked as she tried to keep her breathing under control.

When she didn't get a response she knew enough. Nara scoffed as she spun on her heel, letting her back face him as she placed her hands on her hips. She had to choose her words very carefully now.

"She told you just half of what happened," she began to explain, her back still towards him as she was scared to face him. "It is true that I came to you to spy on the First Order. I can't deny that."

Nara brought her finger up to her lip as she heard an audible sigh escape from Kylo's lips as she confirmed everything that Leia had told him.

"But that's not everything," she continued, turning around again to face him. He needed to see the sincerity in her eyes. "Something changed me. _You_ changed me. Kylo, you showed me the power of the dark side. You showed me what the First Order was capable of and I truly believe in it now. I despise the Resistance. They've done nothing for me. I belong to the First Order as do I belong to you."

The room grew silent as Nara awaited his response. She could read the confusion on his face, as if he wanted to believe her words but at the same time doubted everything she had said. Leia obviously had made a big impression on him, but what else could she have expected. He was her mother after all, and she was never able to compete with her.

"Is it true that you were able to contact them?" Kylo finally said. It wasn't the response Nara was hoping for, but at least he hadn't completely dismissed her— _yet_.

She took in a deep breath before nodding. "I could, yes. There was a transmitter planted behind my ear. It was the only way I was able to contact them. In the beginning, I tried to send them as much as I could, but as time progressed and my view on the First Order changed I did nothing. After a while I couldn't live with it anymore. I cut it out and convinced a droid to heal it so no one would find out."

"You mean so _I_ wouldn't find out it had been there the entire time," Kylo replied sternly. "You took it out so it couldn't blow your cover. You didn't take it away because you denounced the Resistance, you did it to save yourself."

"I did it because I no longer served the Resistance. It was the only step that I needed to take to get rid of it" Nara said, almost offended he would suggest such a thing. Of course she had partly done it so Kylo would never find out, but she didn't want him to find out because she wanted to cut her ties to the Resistance entirely.

"I hope you can understand that," she continued," considering you killed your own father to destroy the only bit of light that was still left inside of you."

When he abruptly looked away she knew she had touched a raw nerve, and she regretted her words. So much for choosing them wisely. This entire situation had worked her up so much it had prohibited her from thinking straight.

"Are you going to believe the Resistance and the lies they feed you, or are you going to believe me?"

The tension between them was broken by the door sliding open with a violent noise. Nara cursed under her breath when the devil herself appeared, accompanied by two Resistance fighters.

Leia took broad and confident steps into the cell, stopping in front of her and Kylo, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"They weren't exactly lies though—weren't they, Nara? What we told him was true, and you know it."

* * *

 **A/N:** I have finally handed in my bachelor's thesis! It took some time, but I finished it. Hopefully my supervisor likes it so I don't have to rewrite anything. This means I FINALLY have time to write this again. I'm so sorry I've let you wait for a month, I really couldn't do anything sooner. My next priority is definitely finishing this story, so I am in no way giving up on it.

So yeah, this had to happen eventually. I didn't want to end this story with Kylo never finding out, that wouldn't be fair. I thought it would be an interesting thing to have Leia tell him everything about the spy-thing as it would definitely create a lot of tension between him and nara and test their relationship unlike anything has done before.

Once again, so sorry for the delay, my thesis had to come first. I will promise the next chapter will be up a lot sooner. As always, [lease let me know your thoughts, I can't wait to hear what you thought. Take care and until next time! :D


	37. Chapter XXXVII

They had promptly taken her back to her living quarters after Leia had ordered them to. She had told Nara that she had known she would come here. She knew she would try to see Kylo, which was why she told him about her true intentions. Which was why she had left all the doors unlocked. It was why there had been no guards anywhere. Leia had tricked her.

"You needed this confrontation, Nara."

Nara would have liked to differ, but Leia insisted this was for the better. The First Order brainwashed her, just like they had done with Kylo. They both needed to know they had been fooled, and revealing her position was the first step.

But Nara wasn't stupid. She knew what Leia was trying to do. She wanted to bring them back to the light side, but above all, she wanted her son back. After all Kylo had done, Leia still loved him and the fact that she believed in him so much scared Nara. What if she would succeed in bringing him back? She couldn't let that happen.

This time they did lock the door. The guards outside remained on their positions, and the building suddenly seemed to be alive. She heard footsteps from her upstairs neighbors, banging on walls somewhere a couple of floors down, and as soon as the sun had risen high in the sky she could see all the fighters outside, running to and from their posts.

It took her some time before Nara noticed a holo pad on her dining table. When she opened the message that it contained, a blue light projected a letter in front of her:

 _To Nara Hargola,_

 _Hereby you are requested to testify at the trial of Ben Solo, otherwise known as Kylo Ren. We are expecting you to present yourself before our jury and council in two days time. You will be fitted with the appropriate attire and accompanied to our Court of Justness by our soldiers._

 _Signed by:_

 _General Leia Organa_

Nara deleted the message and let herself fall back on one of the chairs, stretching her legs in front of her as she looked in the distance. The trial was coming, she knew that, but she had never guessed that it would be so soon.

She let the words of the letter echo through her mind. They wanted her to testify, but for what? What was she supposed to say? She saw Kylo kill Han Solo. She knew the atrocities he had done, not to mention the things she had done herself. What could they possibly want from her?

Her fingers fumbled with the hem of her shirt as her mind were racing. Was this another trick by Leia? If she confirmed everything he had done, he could possibly get a worse sentence, but if she denied the acts he had committed—she would be lying. Whatever she would do, it seemed like a lose-lose situation.

She couldn't let him down. After Leia told him everything about their arrangement and Nara's true intentions, it was the right thing to do. If anyone could make or break his case—it was her, and she couldn't let him down.

* * *

The next two days passed by dreadfully slow, yet Nara was glad for it. She wanted to get her thoughts in order before entering the court. During that time she had recounted everything she could remember. Especially the moments in their living quarters came to mind. He had been so loving, so _thoughtful_ He had almost been a different man, and she knew she had to convince the council of his softer side.

But on the other hand she also remembered the rest. The moments where he had lashed out because something hadn't gone his way. Kylo always had had trouble with containing his anger, but it seemed that under Snoke's control it had only grown worse. It was almost as if it was encouraged, but Nara knew that there had to be a reason for it. It had to be part of his training.

Wearing Resistance clothing again felt strange. They had provided her with the most plain looking outfit they had, and still it felt like it was wearing her down. It consisted of a straight-cut t-shirt which was slightly too big for her frame, and the box-cutter pants were a little too long. The fabric was light blue, and while no Resistance insignia could be found, she hated wearing it. It was if only now it dawned on her that the First Order was history.

She put her hair up in a high ponytail, not bothering to braid it elaborately like she used to. When she looked in the mirror Nara could her skin had started to break out around her nose. That always happened during particularly stressful moments in her life, and there was no doubt in thinking today would qualify as one.

Her escorts had come early, but she had been ready for hours. Her mind had constantly gone over what she was going to say, and when they came for her she felt a rush of panic through her body. All of a sudden Nara felt overwhelmed and underprepared. She had no idea what to expect, and that scared her more than anything.

They handcuffed her and took her to the glass headquarters. Onlooking Resistance fighters watched her closely with narrowed eyes. It was obvious she wasn't liked here. To them, _she_ was the new traitor. It was if she was even worse than Kylo was, and perhaps they were right.

They came to a halt in front of a door that would lead to one of the many conference rooms. The First Order didn't have an equivalent to a courtroom. They liked to deal with matters like this very differently. Judging by the plaque next to the door that spelled out _Court of Justness_ , it seemed that the Resistance adopted a new purpose for the space.

The door opened. A man appeared, slowly closing the door behind him, making as little noise as possible so he wouldn't disturb the trial going on inside. Nara tried her best to see if she could pick anything up, but apart from muffled voices she couldn't hear anything.

"You'll be expected to go in in a few minutes," he said, looking up and down her face. "You will be asked several questions, which you are expected to answer truthfully."

Nara nodded. Her skin was glowing and she could feel a light layer of sweat forming on her forehead. She knew she looked bad; both nervous, and angry at the same time.

The man's sudden movement made her jump. He seemed to know that they were supposed to go in. He opened the door behind them again, revealing the conference room and all the people sitting inside.

She swallowed as her feet seemed to be stuck to the ground. Her vision got blurry for a moment as all the eyes on her felt overwhelming, but when one of her escorts nudged her in the back, she had to step forward in order not to fall over.

As Nara regained her vision she was finally able to look around the courtroom. It had a high glass ceiling, showcasing the bright blue sky and the sun that was shining down. Even though they were cast in a ray of light, it didn't feel warm or clammy at all. Instead, it felt as cold as it was terrifying.

They slowly pushed her forward, down a small aisle that was formed out of rows of standing people. Down the end she could see an empty raised platform, obviously meant for her. Judging by the weary look on the onlookers, the trial had been going on for quite some time.

Before she stepped onto the platform, they let her out of her handcuffs. Nara immediately rubbed her wrists before she placing her foot onto the glass, the other following once she steadied herself. The platform didn't raise her much, but it was just enough for her to get a closer look at the everyone and everything gathered before and behind her.

In front of her sat the council. Their equally glass chairs followed the circular shape of the room as they formed a half-moon. Leia was seated in the middle, looking over the edge of her glasses as she held a holopad which had to contain the questions they were going to ask her.

She didn't recognize anyone else on the council. Back when she was still part of the Resistance she hardly got into contact with them, and judging by the young faces they had replaced some of their members over the past time.

Nara tried to take slow and steady breaths, but when her eyes rested on Kylo her heart seemed to leap out of her chest and her breathing was irregular again. He didn't look at her, and the lack of eye contact made her even more nervous. His brows were in a deep frown as he kept his gaze ahead. She hadn't expected him to have forgiven her in such a short amount of time, but she had hoped he would've understood. If only she could explain it one more time.

"State your name before the council," a councilwoman with a blue ribbon woven through the braids on top of her head spoke.

The voice snapped her out of her fixation of Kylo. She looked to the ground before looking up again, clearing her throat. She couldn't afford to sound nervous.

"Nara Hargola."

Two droids towards the side of the room immediately began to perform their duties. One was recording everything that was being said, while the other typed everything on a holopad. It seemed like they did not want to take the risk of whatever would be said getting lost due to a system failure, or perhaps a hacker.

"Do you confirm working for the Resistance in your lifetime?"

Narra nodded as she laced her fingers together. Now it was her to actively avoid Kylo's gaze, which she felt burning on her face. It still felt shameful to admit and perhaps she had also trouble to come to terms with the fact that he knew. Her secret, which she had worked so hard for to keep, had been revealed to him without her knowledge. She felt her blood boiling again.

"Speak up for the record."

She nodded again shallowly. "Uh, yes. I confirm."

"During this time, you worked as an analyst, did you not?"

"I did."

"It was stated in our records that you volunteered to go on an undercover mission to the First Order because of your ties to the accused, Ben Solo?"

It was strange hearing his name said like that again. Way back when, she had always referred to him like that as well. Once they had fallen back in love he wasn't anyone to her but Kylo Ren. It was the name he had established for himself. The name he had chosen after he distanced himself from the Resistance and everything it stood for. Like Nara's hard work had been for nothing, it seemed like everything Kylo had worked for was coming undone as well.

"That is correct," Nara said. There was no point in lying about this, especially since it appeared they had kept a close record of everything that had happened.

"Were you fitted with a custom transmitter behind your ear so you could communicate back and forth between the Resistance while you were undercover?"

"I was."

"Is that transmitter still there?"

The councilwoman narrowed her eyes. They were cutting straight to the chase, and Nara had to think quickly and formulate her words wisely.

"No, it is not," she said, almost looking down to the ground but instead she forced herself to keep looking at the council. She couldn't allow shame to take over her. Everything she had done she had done for the First Order. There was nothing to be ashamed about.

"Then where is it?"

"I removed it to cut the link between the Resistance and me."

The audience gathered behind her remained quiet, but she knew they were all silently judging her. Nara didn't care. The questions were heading in the right direction. If she answered carefully she could tell Kylo that while she once belonged to the Resistance, she had completely given herself to the First Order.

"And for what particular reason did you do this?"

Nara unlaced her hands and curled them into a fist, her voice growing slightly darker.

"I did it because I wanted to denounce my ties to the Resistance. I grew disillusioned with your practices. The First Order showed me things you could never show me. It was the right thing to do."

"Can you elaborate on that?"

"On what?"

"The things that the Resistance could never show you."

Nara nodded. She knew it would be hard to explain, since the First Order was something you had to experience. Before she joined them, she never knew a thing about their organization and blindly believed all the lies the Resistance fed to her.

"It showed me how much power I could have. Under their guidance, I was able to do things I never thought I could before. The First Order gave me opportunities I never thought I would have."

"Opportunities such as the killing of innocent people?"

Leia's voice cut through the silence like a knife, and even harder through her heart. She knew what she had done was radical, and she was lying if she would say that Leia's hostility didn't hurt her. For a long time, she had been like a mother to her. Nara knew her since she had been very young. She knew her long before Ben Solo had turned into Kylo Ren.

For a moment Nara wanted to think of an excuse, but there was none. She had done what she had done.

"That is correct."

An audible gasp went through the crowd behind her, sending shivers down Nara's spine as she awaited her other questions.

The councilwoman waited for Leia to sit down again to continue her questioning.

"Did you perform these tasks because it was ordered to you by Ben Solo?"

Nara ruffled her brows as she closed her eyes for a mere second. What were they implying? Were they trying to pin the murders on him? Confirm that he is a monster capable of atrocities?

"No. They were ordered by my commander, who was not _Kylo Ren_."

She spoke his name with emphasis, but the lack of a response by the council surprised her. They continued to keep their gaze focused on her without as much as blinking.

"That is all," the councilwoman said. She sat back down and someone else stood up.

"Miss Hargola," the man spoke. He had a square jaw and brown, slightly ruffled hair. Through his Resistance uniform she could see his broad shoulders. Nara guessed he wasn't much older than she was.

"You were present when Ben Solo murdered his own father, Han Solo. You witnessed the horrors he was capable of, yet this was not enough to make you fear him?"

"No," Nara replied, glad someone was finally asking her rational questions. "It did not. I knew the person who he was deep down inside, and that was enough for me."

"So, are you implying that Ben Solo is not the monster he is thought to be?"

She wanted to reply straight away, but before the words came out Nara closed her mouth. Was this a trick question? For so long she had been thinking about her answers, and now the time had finally come and she had no idea what to say.

"No," she finally said, averting her gaze to the ground before looking back up again. "He's not."

The councilman nodded thoughtfully.

"Would you then say that Ben's _negative_ traits stem from a very specific training he received by the Supreme Leader Snoke?"

She said yes before she had time to think. It wasn't until the saw the surprise on the councilman's face that she realized what exactly she had said. Had she just agreed with the Resistance that Kylo's aggression came from Snoke's training? Had she agreed that everything bad that had happened to him and because of him had happened because of the First Order?

Her cheeks were glowing as it began to dawn on her. This trial was not just for Kylo—it was also for herself.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for the long wait. Sadly, there were some problems with my thesis which means I will continue to work on it for a little while. I'll still try to find time to write, don't worry! I can't believe we're already at chapter 37 and people are still following this story. Sometimes that is kind of mindblowing to think about. Thank you so much!

Please let me know your thoughts and take care! 3


	38. Chapter XXXVIII

The Resistance had gathered enough evidence against her. After her own testimony, which she thought was for Kylo, they finally had everything they needed to give her a sentence of her own. All of the focus so far had been on Kylo. It had come as a complete surprise they were preparing Nara's trial at the same time. If only she had known…

Afterwards they had brought her to a separate room where they had continued her hearing. While the courtroom was packed with spectators and for Kylo, her own courtroom was near empty. She only had three judges and had to make do with one droid keeping track of everything that had been said.

Nara had made sure her testimony was consistent. She knew she had worked herself in a mess, and things would only get harder if she would deny everything she had just said minutes ago. Every question that had been asked had been answered truthfully, hoping they would see the same thing that she had seen. The First Order hadn't been so bad.

But when her sentence was spoken it felt like the world had stopped spinning and the galaxy had ceased to exist. Her heart sank and she struggled to breathe. They had given her a prison sentence. They were sending her to prison for five years, and even though Nara knew that was a light sentence, she hadn't seen this coming. When she had woken up this morning she would have never thought she wouldn't be returning that afternoon.

Immediately after the judges were finished the doors swung open and two guards entered, ready to take her away. They had hardly given her time to let it all sink in, grabbing her by her wrists to spin her around.

Nara's mind was clouded with questions. Where exactly was she going? What was the prison going to be like? Would she be able to talk to Leia? But above all, she wondered if Kylo was there as well. Had she ruined everything for him like she had ruined it for herself?

The guards escorted her from one prison to another. Whether she was trapped inside an apartment, or in a cell, there was not much difference. In fact, the only thing she worried about was Kylo's sentence. She had been locked up in various different places and in various different ways for a long time now. The silence and solitude meant nothing to her anymore, but would he be able to cope like she would?

They came to a sudden halt. Nara looked down to the ground to make sure she wouldn't get tangled in her chains, before looking up to see Leia.

The general had a solemn look on her face. Her cheeks were slightly glowing and she was rubbing her hands together. It meant Kylo's trial had ended as well.

"How is he?" Nara asked, not caring she was a prisoner now, talking to a general.

Their eyes met and Leia cocked her head, shaking it slowly. She couldn't tell. How had Nara expected anything else?

"I'm sorry, Nara. You knew this had to be done. There will be an opportunity for you to appeal your case, and you know we will give you a second chance if you prove yourself. Good behavior gets rewarded."

Good behavior? That meant pledging her alliance to the Resistance again. That meant denouncing everything she had come to believe in… But if it would get her an early release… It wouldn't be the first time she had lied to escape.

—

Nara had to get used to the prison sentence. Every single day was planned out to minutes, keeping her occupied all the time. The only time she had time to breathe was at night, when she was all alone in her cell. While she was appreciative of everything she had, she couldn't help but to long for the days when she was completely alone.

She had to go to her psychiatrist every other day. At first, Nara didn't want anything to do with her, and kept her mouth shut most of the time, but after a while the psychiatrist was the only person she felt she could trust, and she needed to pour her heart out to someone.

Even though they were sheltered from what happened on the outside world, the other prisoners knew who she was and what she had done. Most of them stayed clear of her, the only contact being the occasional "Traitor" that got slurred in her way.

Visitation hours were twice a week, but who was there to visit her? Poe hated her. Leia couldn't possibly visit her as the general of the Resistance, and she had no idea what had happened to Kylo. She hadn't seen nor heard about him during her entire stay so far, and she didn't figure anyone would be telling her soon.

The days were long and especially uneventful, just like they had intended. The Resistance wanted her to break. They wanted her to be her old self again, but even after all the talks she had with her psychiatrist she wondered if she ever could be. The things she had done in the name of the First Order… Those were things that couldn't be taken back.

It had been at least a couple of months since she had been in here. Or had it been a year already? It was hard to keep track of time while she was completely cut off from the outside world. Undoubtedly the First Order would have come for Kylo by now. They wouldn't let him go that easily.

Nara had dosed off in a light sleep when a droid appeared at her cell. It extended its arm and tapped on the glass ever so slightly, trying to catch her attention.

She opened her eyes and shot up. It wasn't often she got any attention from pretty much anyone apart from when they would be receiving their food for the day. She looked down to a tray with empty dishes which meant she had already eaten. The droid wasn't here for her dinner, it was here for something else.

"Prisoners 5039, you are requested to follow me to Room C."

 _Room C._ She had never been there before, but she knew all too well what was there. Her heart stopped for a moment as she figured someone was playing a cruel joke on her. This couldn't be true.

"Uh," she mumbled, placing her bare feet on the cold ground as she edged closer to the glass. "Room C?"

"Yes. You are requested to follow me to Room C," the droid repeated.

"You mean, Room C, as in the _visitation room?"_

"That is correct."

Her brows ruffled as her fingers fumbled with the hem of her plain shirt. She had a visitor. For the first time since she had been in here, she had an actual visitor. Nara could hardly believe it, and for that sake she told herself to just assume it was all a joke to lower her expectations. She didn't even allow herself to think about who it might be.

Shortly after a guard appeared. As usual, only the droids spoke, and any further questions by Nara got ignored. Cuffed and bound the guard and the droid led her to Room C. There was hardly anyone around, which struck her as odd. Nara figured visitation hours would be busy, even though the Resistance didn't have that many prisoners. Most of the others were people sitting out a short sentence for small war crimes or other misdemeanors. In contrast to Nara, they would still have friends left on this planet.

She brushed off the lack of activity as normal, as she had no idea what it was like usually. They waited in front of the door that said _Room C_ and as soon as it opened they proceeded in.

There were several booths with two seats, separated by glass in the middle, protecting one side from the other. Nara's eyes glided over all of them, noticing they were all empty, except for one.

The guard pushed her forward while the droid remained behind. Awkwardly, Nara walked along, her fingers fumbling together again as her breath got caught in her throat. She couldn't see who was on the opposite side of the glass due to the reflection of the light, and every step they got closer she got more anxious.

She didn't dare to look up to see who was sitting in front of her until she sat down properly and they had secured her to the booth. The guard told her she was under constant surveillance and she was expected to behave otherwise he would come and get her again.

Once she nodded the guard stepped outside and closed the booth, sealing her off from the room. Nara took three steady breaths before allowing herself to see who would be the only one who cared enough to visit her after all this time.

Deep down inside she expected Leia. The general was softer than she would like to admit, and it wouldn't surprise her if she came down to see how she was doing, even though Nara knew she would get personal updates from the guards anyway.

But when her eyes locked onto her visitor's, she almost fainted.

"Kylo," she managed to get out, her voice shaky from the surprise that sat before her.

When her eyes focused properly she was taken aback. His black hair was tucked behind his ears, but she could still see it had grown. His eyes were soft, almost apologizing, but what struck her the most were his clothes. Kylo had always worn black ever since he had joined the First Order, but now he was wearing plain civilian clothing. The blue shirt fitted tightly around his body. It didn't show a Resistance insignia, but she knew where it came from nevertheless.

"Ben," he corrected her.

Nara tilted her head to the side as she narrowed her eyes. _Ben?_ What the hell was going on? It wasn't until now that she had recovered from the shock and she could think clearly again. Kylo was sitting here in front of her, on the other side of the glass, in normal clothing. Why was he not in prison like her? How had he managed to escape a sentence while she had been convicted? And, _why_ wasn't he wearing his First Order uniform?

"What are you doing here?" Nara hissed, stunned by what she was seeing.

"I came to see you."

He made it sound like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Nara shook her head, still not sure if what she was seeing was really the reality. Had she been dreaming all this time?

"Nara," he began, his voice sounding a lot more careful than before. "I have something to tell you. Everything that has happened… I was wrong. I'm sorry."

Nara gripped the chair she was sitting in as she narrowed her eyes, scanning his face. She knew him long enough to know he was telling the truth, but even after all this time she still had trouble to decipher what the hell he meant sometimes.

"What do you mean _wrong_ ," she snapped.

"All of it. I see it now. The influence I felt. I thought it was my grandfather, and it _was,_ but it wasn't grandfather as I thought he was."

He wasn't making much sense to her, but she continued to listen very carefully anyway.

"I thought he was pulling me towards the dark. But, Nara, I interpreted it wrong. It was a call to the light."

She shook her head once again. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I was wrong. I should've never gone to the First Order. It was a mistake."

Her heartbeat stopped for a mere moment. _It was a mistake_. How could he say it so simply?

"A _mistake,_ Kylo? You mean all those innocent people you killed, the things you've done, was a _MISTAKE?"_

Her voice was rising in anger. She couldn't believe what he had just told her. It was all so ludicrous she began to wonder if this really was all a cruel joke to punish her. Was this part of their plan to break her?

"I _killed_ for you. I abandoned everyone I know. I betrayed them, and they hate me now. You made me show the power of the dark side. How can you not believe in it anymore? It made you who you are!"

"I know," he said apologetic. "I know, but I also now know I was wrong. Snoke undoubtedly made me stronger than anyone here could, and I still am grateful for his training. But I can't ignore the truth now. I can't live in a lie anymore."

A tear ran down her cheek as the words began to make sense to her.

"I am in here, because of _you_. I will be rotting in a jail cell for years while you get off without punishment."

"I know," he repeated. "I am very sorry for what I did to you Nara. I am fighting for the Resistance now to make up for it. Mother showed me the truth and I couldn't deny it any longer. I'm sorry."

She couldn't take it anymore. Another word, and she would really break down. Nara pushed herself upwards, curled her fingers into a fist and started to bang on the glass as she started to scream from the top of her lungs. She needed to get out of here. She couldn't look at him a second longer than was necessary.

Within a few seconds thee guards began to drag her away. Away from _him_.

* * *

 **A/N:** I have to (again) apologize for the (very) long wait. I have to admit, I kind of lost interest in this story, and as I noticed that less and less people were reading it I didn't really feel like writing again. However, since I want to start new fics soon, I felt like I owed it to the people who still _were_ reading that I finished this story. So here I am. Next chapter will probably be the last to wrap everything up, but I wouldn't say that will be the end of it forever. Perhaps when the next Star Wars film is out I will do a sequel.

This chapter was definitely inspired by a work of fan art that was floating around on tumblr a while back of Kylo misinterpreting Anakin's calls. I loved that so much, and I really wanted to include the idea behind it. Another piece of fan art I was inspired by was of Kylo coming to his mother to apologize, and Leia just couldn't turn away her only son, which explains why he got off so easily.

I hope this chapter update was a nice little surprise. I can't make any promises about when the final chapter will be up. I always tend to write while I am having midterms or finals (having a break from writing, by.. writing?) so I don't have a whole lot of time.

I would love to hear your thoughts as always, and a big thank you for sticking with me for 38 chapters already. Take care 3


	39. Chapter XXXIX

The air had never tasted sweeter. Nara squinted her eyes as she looked upwards towards the sun, grateful for its warming presence. Judging by the trees, spring was just around the corner. New leafs were beginning to grow and around the park wildflowers were randomly sprouting. The foliage in the park had grown a lot the past years, and she doubted it had ever looked more beautiful than it did now.

Nobody looked at her as she sauntered through the park. It was the first time in a very long time she hadn't caught the attention of the other Resistance fighters, and it felt good. Being invisible was more than she could ever hope for. No more bitter glares. No more insults hurled her way under their breaths. She really was free.

The path led to an ornate fountain, with beams of light shooting up straight in the sky, even during the day time. She could see it had recently been constructed, and when she got closer to read the plaque that covered the side she saw it had been built in honor of the fighters who had killed and wounded during the Battle of Ruusan. As she continued reading the plaque told her it was one of the biggest battles between the Resistance and the First Order, which they apparently had won.

Nara looked at the fountain one more time before continuing her path. The Resistance had developed vastly in the time she had been locked up, and she couldn't deny that she was impressed. Buildings had popped up in places she had never seen them before, and they were solid structures as well, not the temporary air hangars she was used to.

Her cheeks flushed when a woman on the opposite end of the path flashed her a smile. Nara wasn't used to kindness anymore, and every time someone approached her she was expecting a dirty look. This was a very welcome change, a change she had worked hard for.

She made a right turn, down a path that led to one of the newer buildings she had never seen before. Her eyes were glued to the marbled exterior and the two towers that spiraled high into the air. Slowly, but surely, the Resistance was building a new capital to replace the one the First Order had destroyed.

Nara looked ahead again, her gaze catching on something very familiar. Once she realized who is was, she stopped dead in her track. It was like the first time she had ever seen him, all over again. Here he was, Ben Solo, hunched forward on the ground. His long black hair hung in front of his eyes as his fingers fumbled with something she couldn't quite recognize. He hadn't seen her, and she wondered if he had felt her presence.

Nervously, she bit on her lip, unsure what to do. When she was younger she would step forward, asking what he was working on. He intrigued her now like he had intrigued her back then, but this time, she didn't dare to approach him.

Memories of the last time she had spoken to him returned to her. They were in one of the visitation booths, and their conversation hadn't ended well. It was the only time him, or anyone for that matter, had come to see her.

She didn't regret her behavior towards him in that moment. It was quite a bombshell he dropped on her. He betrayed her, and at that moment she had the right to despise him, and be angry. It wasn't until much later when she learned what he had to do to earn the trust of the Resistance, and it was much worse than what she had went through.

Ben was still in front of her, just yards away. Nara couldn't pull her gaze away from him, watching him closely as he continued to work with his fingers. _Was that the hilt of a lightsaber?_

Nara shook her head ever so slightly. _No._ She couldn't do this. She couldn't face him yet. What was she going to say? What if he didn't want to see her at all? What if, during all this time, he had found someone else?

She spun on her heel, ready to head the opposite direction. One day she was going to face him, but not today. Not yet.

"Nara!"

She cursed under her breath as she came to a halt, hearing his footsteps behind her coming closer. Her heart started to pound uncontrollably as she felt her cheeks reddening again. There was no other option but to face him now.

Slowly, she turned, keeping her gaze mostly low to the ground, a sign of both embarrassment and nervousness. The silence between them was deafening. Nara had no idea what to say, no idea where to start, and she could only hope he was going to say something soon.

"I heard they let you go. How are you?" Ben asked, his voice confident, and almost uplifting, which took Nara by surprise. She thought he wouldn't be that happy to see her.

"Uh," she mumbled, allowing her eyes to meet his. "I'm adjusting."

Her words were chosen carefully. The galaxy had changed a lot, and there were many things she didn't know about. It definitely was hard, but she was very glad to be free again.

"That's good to hear," he nodded.

Nara replied by smiling awkwardly, shifting her weight between her left and right feet every so often.

"I guess I should head back," she then said, pointing over her shoulder to nothing in particular.

"Oh, yeah. Of course."

Did she hear a hint of disappointment in his voice?

As she was about to turn around again, he called her out once more.

"Nara! Can I see you again? Tomorrow, maybe?"

Her heart practically bounced out of her chest.

"To talk," he added.

Nara nodded. "Yeah. Sure. I'm in one of the newer buildings, I forgot the name of it."

"I'll find out," Kylo said with a smile she had missed so much. "I'll see you around noon?"

* * *

Noon came sooner than she would have wanted. She had hardly slept that night, tossing in turning in her bed, trying to think of what she was going to say to him. In the end, she figured that the best thing for them would perhaps be to just forget everything that had happened. It was years ago now anyway, and it seemed like he had made up for his mistakes, just like Nara had.

When she saw the sunlight just barely peeking through her windows, she figured it would be a respectable time to get out of bed. She was going to need a lot of time to make herself somewhat presentable after the night she just had.

As Nara got out of bed, her eyes darted around her studio apartment the Resistance had kindly given her. There was hardly any furniture, which meant she couldn't really make a mess and that at least the place looked presentable to Ben.

After she had a light breakfast and a shower, she turned herself to her closet. There had been no time yet to acquire more clothing, and as her fingers went through everything she noticed she didn't have anything better to wear than a pair of plain grey pants, with a burgundy stripe going down the side of her legs, and an equally grey slim fitting top.

To make some sort of effort, she braided her hair in the Capital-style. It took her longer than expected, and after a while her arms were hurting, but the result was worth it.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Her time in prison made her lose some weight, and as she was braiding it she had noticed her hair had gone considerably thinner. But her eyes looked better. Content. _Happy, even?_

The sound of a buzzer broke her from her trance. It was the front door. _Ben._

He was early. She quickly moved from her bathroom and hurried to the door, opening it with a nervous smile as her heart was pounding out of her chest.

"Hi," she said first.

Ben smiled back at her. She couldn't have gotten a better greeting.

Nara spun on her heel as he followed her in. Her mind was doing over time. What was she going say now? She said hello, should she ask how he was doing? And then?

Before her train of thought could go any further, Ben grabbed her by her wrist and spun her back around, and before she knew it, his lips were on hers.

For a moment, her body froze. At least she didn't have to worry about what she was going to say. As his lips moved dominantly against hers, she felt herself falling back in an old pattern. This felt familiar. This felt _safe_.

There was no use in denying this wasn't what she wanted. Nara wrapped her arms around his neck, and let the kiss deepen as his hand let go of her wrist and moved to the small of her back.

"I thought you came here to talk," Nara managed to get out between kisses.

She could feel Ben smile.

"We'll talk after," he said.

Nara pulled her head back she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"I think we need to talk before we do this," she said, perhaps a little sternly.

When Ben realized Nara was serious, he dropped his hands off her waist and took a seat at the small dining table at the window of the room. She followed him, a feeling of nervousness taking over again. While she was glad that the ice was broken, she now had to find the words to say what she was thinking.

"Ben," she started with a sigh. "I just want to say… that I don't blame you anymore. I know Snoke's influence, I mean, I witnessed it myself first hand. And my undercover mission, it was something I wanted to do. We both got sucked in the dark side."

It wasn't until she got that off her chest that she dared to look in his eyes again.

"Look, if things can't get back to how they were before, I get it. A lot has happened, and we shouldn't forget it either."

Ben nodded his head. "I agree. I know what I've done. I know what I made you do, and I paid my dues, and so have you. We shouldn't forget the past, but we shouldn't let it hold us back either."

She let his words sink in, thinking back to what her therapist had said. So many sessions they had spoken of letting go of the past. The person she was back then, was no longer who she was going to be in the future. Nara also remembered how she had expressed her fear of being with Ben again. What if he was her key to the dark side? What if the dark was stronger than the light, and they would both get seduced again? Her therapist convinced her that wouldn't happen, and told her what Ben had to do to prove he belonged to the light again. Nara hadn't wanted to doubt her therapist, but how could she make such promises if she had never personally experienced the dark side?

Nara snapped out of her trance when she felt Ben's knee brush against hers. She yearned for the physical contact, but she there were some things that had to be said first. They should both know what they were getting themselves into.

"I think we have to take it slow," Nara said, her words calculating. "The last time we were together, we were different people. You were _Kylo Ren_. I was part of the First Order army. Maybe we should take our time, and get to know the new us."

Ben nodded. "I agree," he said, perhaps somewhat to her surprise. "We gotta talk about the five years that we missed."

Nara's lips formed into a smile, happy they were seeing eye to eye. And it was a good thing too. As she looked up to meet his eyes, she didn't know if she was able to contain herself. Five years it had been. Maybe their personas had changed, but their bodies hadn't, and she was lying to herself if she denied she wasn't craving his.

"There is just one thing I need to know," Nara asked. "Was there anyone else while I was gone?"

"I didn't have much time for sweeping romances this time," he said, giving her a wink before rubbing his knee against hers again. "What about you? Hot prisoner managed to capture your heart?"

"Well, you know. I was alone mostly and when I wasn't, everyone hated me. So no luck for me either."

Ben's expression grew serious as he leaned forward to grab her hands.

"They don't hate you anymore, Nara. I will make sure of it. And if it means anything to you, I will always love you."

She had spoken the words before she had time to think. "I love you too."

"We can make this work," Ben added. "We've always managed to make it work."

He extended his arm over the table and grabbed her hand, carefully pulling her towards him, before ordering her to come over.

Nara couldn't resist him. She pushed her chair backwards and within two steps she was seated on his lap.

Ben wrapped his arms around her as he nuzzled her neck with his face. She placed her own hands over his and took in a deep breath before releasing it slowly.

She felt his fingers creeping under her shirt, working their way upwards. Nara turned her head, smiling lightly as she stopped him.

"We should take it slow, remember?"

"Hmm," Ben mumbled, as his warm hands continued touch every inch of her skin they could reach. "Yes. Slow."

And then his mouth found hers again, and Nara knew that this was all she ever wanted. They belonged together, whether it was on the Dark Side, or that of the Light. The Force brought them together, and it could never break them apart.

* * *

 **A/N** : After almost a year, I can finally say that this is it. The final chapter. I know some of you really wanted me to continue and show Snoke working hard to get Kylo back, but I didn't want this story to just drag on and on. This ending was very fitting for me. Throughout everything they went through, they eventually found each other again. They were destined to be together, and I really want it to end it like this.

I definitely do not want to rule out a sequel, but I don't have it planned for the near future. I feel like 39 chapters is already really long for a single story, and since this really is the end of (perhaps) the first 'part', I thought this would be the perfect time to end it. As for the sequel, please don't expect it any time soon. I kind of want to wait until the next Star Wars film to see where they are taking the story, and basing my own off that.

Finally, I really _really_ want to thank all of you who have come so far with me. We've finished this story together, and I hope to see you again in future. I feel so grateful for all the support this story has received, and I had never expected it to be so loved as it was. _Thank you_. I couldn't ask for better readers.

Usually, this was the part where I would say: take care, and until next time, but there will not be a next time :( This feels bittersweet, yet relieving at the same time. I'm very happy I managed to finish this story, but I have to admit I will miss reading all of your messages. Since old habits die hard: take care, and hopefully, we will meet again for another story, or the continuation of Nara's adventures 3


End file.
